In therapy, I learned to set boundaries. Both physical and mental. We did this exercise, where two members of the therapy group stood in front of each other. This one person had to come up to you, without saying anything. You had to set boundaries, in how far he/she could approach you. But you couldn't speak. Both members had to use body language and try to be real firm about it. It was really hard. The person I did the exercise with, was a very goodlooking and tall man. I compared him to Bambi, because he was so gentle and kind. But as soon as he crossed my boundary in the exercise, he freaked me out. Even to the point where I burst out into tears. The poor guy! He never meant to scare me or intimidate me. He kept on apologizing to me, but he really didn't have to. Because he taught me a very valuable lesson in life. It made me realise that I was not very good at keeping people out of my personal space. And that was something I needed to work on.
I have noticed some improvement and I'm happy about that. You don't have to please the world. You don't have to be nice to everybody. If it doesn't feel good: make a statement!
2 comments:
I have a collegue who does not feel when he crosses your boundaries ... . Even though he is a friendly guy, that is a reason for me to avoid him :s. I feel really uncomfortable when he is in the neighbourhood! Brrr.
And ... 'chapeau' for your improvement. I hope you can keep setting boundaries, because is really necessary for your own health!
Big (but distant :P) hug,
xxx
Maybe he's not even aware he's crossing the line? Try to talk to him about it.
A true hug from someone who appreciates your opinion
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