Bonding

The Student Exchange Program is an excellent tool for students to see the world. Having a host family abroad, is a fine way to experience other cultures and family life in a country different from yours. Last year, we had been given the opportunity to welcome the Italian Ilaria Landriscina into our home. She was not only our guest for 3 months, she became a family member. We are still in touch, just the way I still contact my American host family every now and then. Those are everlasting memories.

Last week, two German students came to stay with us. We were thrilled to have them over and make them feel at home. Mirjam Gröger and Hien Nguyen Totla were a pleasure to have around. They were like a sister to Eva and our dogs were more than happy with the extra cuddles. We didn't get to speak much German and there was no time to teach our guests some Dutch words. Communication went well though and we had a good time together, filled with joy and warm friendship. These two girls had never met before, but seeing how fast they got along, was moving.
Too bad their stay was so short. We should've had more time to get to know each other. I wanted to hear more about their lives in Germany, their family, their interests and activities. Lana offered them their room, while she was in Bruges. We were glad they got to meet each other right before they had to return to Germany.

It was nice having you over girls. Maybe we'll meet again, one day.

I have something up my sleeve

Having the Pisces sign, we knew you were going to be a creative mind. You have a good eye for art, music, fashion, photography, design. Sometimes you come up with real clever ideas. Things we would not have thought of. It is fun to watch your creativity grow and see you explore new dimensions. It's been some time now, since you started using those special markers. I had never even heard of them, but you know your ways around on the Net. I'm still astound by the wonderful drawings you make. The talent I lack in life, is patience. I can tell you: you have patience. I observe you making a piece of art in your sketch book, drawing fine lines and little patterns in a flowing way. You are gifted sweetheart. I am so proud of your latest project, you made for school. The school made it into a poster, to be hung all over school, so people would know about the project your class is involved in. You did real well. The fonts you chose, the colors you picked. Your artwork is neat and clean and unique. I like your style. No computer program involved, just your own creative ways..
Looking forward to seeing more of your talent. 

Trying to read between the lines

He told me it was golden and its condition was immaculate. It was "only" 75.000 Belgian francs (we didn't have Euros back then). I thought that was a very reasonable price for a Triumph! After all, my former boyfriend drove a similar car, a Triumph Spitfire to be accurate. That car in mind, I agreed to buying my first second hand car.. It took many hours of labor in restaurants to purchase that car, but it was mine and I loved the freedom it gave me.

I'm peeking through the window. The black monster just turned around the corner. I can see its headlights glow in the early morning hours. You're holding the steering wheel with both hands, waiting for the bus to move on. I feel confident and proud. For the very first time, you're driving to school all by yourself. Not without a reason: last night, around 5:00 PM, you were staring at your computer screen, waiting for your school results to appear. And YES!! you did it! You succeeded for all classes. Your hard work paid off. So happy to hear that and what a relief.. There was no reason to go to school to discuss your grades, but you planned on going with your friends so you asked for the car.

A little bird has told me it won't be too long before you will buy your first second hand car. You're ready. You have some money in your bank account and your driver's licence in your pocket. We'll have to think about this and discuss the conditions, before we come to some agreement. I can relate to your desire to have a car of your own. It means freedom and independence and another step towards adulthood. After all, you're almost 19..

Off to work

I was sitting in the car in the parking lot, while you were inside for your job interview. No nail biting from my side, since I was pretty convinced you were going to be hired. It was only last week, you told us about this job opportunity. Not too far from home, weekend work, decent salary. Previously you had opted McDonald's, but we could tell you were not convinced yourself (and neither were we).

You pulled open the door of the car and your bright smile and the blemish on your cheeks, said it all: hired! The owner of the restaurant was very friendly and polite. You could start as soon as this Sunday. We needed to get you a black uniform, so you could wait the tables in style. You were happy your friend introduced you and you won't let her or your new employer down. They expect you this Sunday at 10:00 AM to inform you about their way of working. I told you about my very own experiences with waiting tables in a restaurant (I have done my share - 5 years of waiting tables damaged by back). It is hard work. It means no going out on weekends, it means sore feet and long working hours. It also means independence, extra money to spend, building confidence and a longer resume for future job interviews. It'll do you good. Last year, you worked in the kitchen of a retirement home and that was hard labor as well. Your employer was happy with your diligence and he asked you to come back next summer. You're not too sure.. you had room and boarding last summer, but you missed the Internet and your boyfriend. You'd rather work weekends than a month in summer. We'll see how you do. I'm sure you'll be polite and willing to do whatever they ask you to. You'll be exhausted when you get home, so it will require very good planning to get your schoolwork done before you go to work. Good luck kiddo!

Easy breezy

No one ever said it was going to be easy breezy. College is not a joke, it is hard work. You have never been used to studying really hard to get good grades.
Your brain is pretty good at soaking up

information like a sponge would do. It is a good thing that you are always in to learning new things. You dare to challenge yourself and your teachers, to go all the way to the bottom of the course. Your motto is: you can't learn what you don't understand. I envy you for thinking that way. Understanding what you learn, makes you think in a better way and helps you remember the contents of your classes. Nevertheless, going to College is still hard work. We haven't seen much of you lately. Studying for the upcoming exams is priority number one now. I try to pamper you with home cooked meals and treats and every now and then I take you out for lunch. Not too much distraction, because you don't want any of us keeping you from going through your books. I must say: I'm impressed. I know you want to be the best in what you do. So you go for it and you keep your nose in your books. Three exams have been completed so far. Six more to go. It will be tough but I'm sure you'll do well. You must be looking forward to those two weeks off by the end of January. Keep up the spirit girl! 

A happy camper!

You said your intention was, to once get 70% on your school report. That's why you decided to prepare your exams in school instead of at home. Too much distraction at home. At least, there's nothing left to do in school than study. I was proud of you, for making this decision. And guess what? It worked! You studied hard and by the last week of your exams, you were completely drained and exhausted. What a relief it was to you, to get your grades from your teacher and read that magic number. You made it sweetheart. So proud of you! 

Just the two of us

I like our midweek dates. It's good to come over to your place every now and then to catch up and have a private meeting. There isn't always time at home to talk about what keeps you busy and how you've been doing in college. You live by yourself now and you do great! Your room is clean, you cook your own meals and find your way to school without skipping any classes. New friends are being made and you have found some extra activities to join in. Although the nights are getting darker and colder, you haven't given up on living away from home. On the contrary, you have made your room very cozy. You adore the Christmas atmosphere and you were so looking forward to decorating your room with Christmas lights. We are looking forward to having you home again for a while. These Christmas holidays will be different, for your midterms are coming up. First time you will have to study for your college exams, not knowing what it will be like since there's no comparison yet. You don't have an older sibling to ask for advice. Being the oldest means you have more responsibility and you need to find things out on your own. I'm sure that can put strain on you at times. How about we schedule a good massage, to let go of all that built up tension?

Do you remember the times?

I tried to go back in times and remember how I felt during school exams. Did I worry? Did I study? Was I distracted way too often or was I good at keeping my nose into my books? It seems like ages ago (don't even think of going there) ... Exams are stressful. They can keep you awake at night and they can haunt you. We're not the kind of parents that punish our children for not having the best results. Not having the best results is bad enough a punishment already.
When I go through the school books of my daughter, I'm startled at how difficult the contents is. Did we learn the same things? I can't remember.. it just looks more difficult now. There's is so much of me in my youngest daughter. The way she keeps her books and the neat handwriting. How she makes the effort to write properly and make summaries of the classes she attended. Drawing in between, having a snack, catch some extra sleep.. It's so recognizable. I know she'll get there. She doesn't have to stress. No accidents will happen if some grades are not what you expected them to be. Overall, you do really well in school. Screw math, don't worry about French. There's more to life. xx 

Overwhelming feelings

Photo Eva Joos

You had mixed feelings about this new schoolyear getting started. Finally you would have the chance to see more of your friends. Some of them had a job during the holidays (so did you, YAY), so you couldn't see each other that often. Overall, we can say your 2 months vacation were packed with fun activities. The weather was nice, your friends were welcome in our house, you had your boyfriend to hang out with. There were parties to attend and movies to be seen. Life has gone back to normal now, meaning you can no longer sleep in until noon. This year, you no longer have to share the bathroom with your sister, for she's a college student now and her school doesn't start until September 18. I'm sure it's your time now to enjoy that time alone in the morning.

We were anxious to hear about your first day in school. You were a bit sad your friends are no longer in the same class and having lunch together won't happen because your schedule is different from theirs. You keep track of each other using your smartphones, but that is just not the same. I understand your sadness sweet pea.

Maybe we should take a look at your class picture and see if there's someone left in your class to hang out with. You like the 6th graders too, but I hear they can leave school for lunch (and you can't since you're in 5th grade). We'll talk about. All we want for you, is to be happy and have a good time in school. We're proud of who you are.

Prepping yourself

It's been on the news, you can read it in the papers. The new school year is going to be there soon. Kids are getting ready to meet their new class group and teachers. Exciting, scary at times and sometimes with some degree of anxiety, our daughters are preparing themselves. Books are being delivered, school supplies have been bought and labeled. There are books to be covered and pencil cases to be checked. Maybe backpacks need some dusting off as well. I feel their excitement (okay, my excitement is a bit higher than theirs at the moment)! I want to cover those books, I want to pack that backpack and go. I loved school! I'm sure there have been times I didn't like school so much, but overall, I didn't mind going. September 1st will always have some magic to it. There will be stories to tell once that first school day has come to an end. There will be grumpy faces and I'm sure not all teachers will be popular, but deep down, I just know our girls like to go to school. It's just not done to tell your friends that you don't mind going back.

In the meantime, I'm cutting wrapping paper and printing labels to cover those books. Can you believe I want to sharpen crayons and sort them out by color? It's like being a student again..

A ticking timebomb

Will it be postponed, or will they let us take that plane to Hurghada?

 Our oldest daughter and her friend were planning their first holiday abroad together. It took them some time to find the perfect destination for what they had in mind. They wanted sun and fun and far away and lazy time by the pool. So they ended up with a beautiful hotel in Hurghada, Egypt. All summer long, they were looking forward to their vacation and tanning their skin before college starts. Lana and her friend will be attending the same college education in Bruges this fall and going on a holiday together was going to be the perfect start. Never did they expect problems in the country they planned on going to.

Things haven't been going well in Egypt lately. There's just too much commotion going on and the turmoil is not calming down yet. Jetair has cancelled its flights up until the end of October. Lana and her friend booked their trip with Thomas Cook. Now they have to wait until the last day of August, before they will know whether their plans are still in the running or not. After all, they would be leaving September 2nd, so that's not that far off.

What does one do? Do you take chances and decide to go to Egypt besides all the negative comments on the News?
Do you cancel your trip, loose your money and try to book some other vacation with a different agency?
Or would you postpone your vacation and go some other time?

It's never easy. But the most painful part of all, is that many innocent people in August are being terrorized by this awful situation. They have lost their beloved ones, their home, their jobs and their income. Tourists cancel their visit and spend their money on a different location. They are the true victims here. We are lucky to be able to pick Egypt as a holiday destination. We don't have to live there. The turmoil is not part of our daily life.. 

Stepping out of your comfort zone

I remember you saying things like: I will never ever have children or Children or nothing but a pain in the bum. Then your dad and I would look at each other and exchange glances. I remember how I used to state those same lines. But we ended up with two lovely daughters and nothing compares to that feeling of unconditional love.

You're away now, with a bunch of small children. You are their parent for 10 days and you will have to comfort and feed and play and read stories. Nights will be short and days will be long and you will be exhausted by the time you come home. It asked many hours of preparation to come up with a theme, activities and craft moments. There were organisation skills involved to figure out the amount of food needed for the whole crowd during their stay in Booischot. There were moments when you ran out of inspiration, but it didn't keep you from surfing the Internet to find what you were looking for. Because that's who you are: your perseverance and enthusiasm is inimitable. The kids are lucky to have you around. Strict but righteous, you will let the children have a great time but still have them obey the rules. They won't fight you, for they know the limits, since you will have determined the boundaries for them, not to be misunderstood.

It's pretty quiet around here. Every now and then, we read an update on Facebook and we see pictures come by. You're having a wonderful time. Your vacation was packed with outings and fun stuff and yet there is more to come. Another camp isn't that far off and your first holiday abroad with a friend will be there before you know it. And by then, it will be time for college... Enjoy the kids, enjoy your friends and have a ball!

I think you are remarkable

You have been working really hard this time, studying your school books 2 weeks in advance. I think Ilaria won't mind, that you used her room to prepare yourself for the finals. It was not a bad idea to have an extra study room, so your bedroom was nothing else but a place to relax and sleep. We're proud of you, cutie. You did real well in school and now you can look forward to some time off. Only one week, before you will start your first student's job, but it will be a week to chill, watch movies, read books, date your boyfriend, hang out with your other friends. You deserve it. We're proud of you!

A victory dance

In 6th grade, you felt so big and "grown up", ready to go to High School in a different, bigger town, far away from the little ones. You were so tiny though, compared to the older kids in High School and the buildings seemed so enormous and breathtaking.

Photo Eva Joos

Last night, we were invited by your principal to go to school. Graduation party, with all your friends and their parents. We were so excited to hear, that you passed for all of your exams. Finally, no more High School for you. You are so ready to spread your wings and fly away. Not before September, but your new school and your student's room are waiting for you and we are looking forward to spending some time off together. We realize your time in our household is very precious. Experience tells us, we won't be seeing much more of you once you will have left for college. We will welcome you in our house as often as you like and maybe we'll surprise you with some unexpected visits in Bruges. It is time to start leading your own life now. You're ready. We're ready. And we are proud of you. Congratulations sweetheart. You have worked real hard and you have deserved that diploma!

Do you remember the times...

Her name was Kathy. She was my best friend in elementary school. We would sit next to each other from first grade until sixth grade and were really upset if we couldn't for some reason. Because we shared our name, our friends would refer to us as Kathy 1 and Cathy 2. She was Kathy 1, first in the alphabet by her last name. We lived on the same street and we would always walk home together. Her parents were divorced and that was not very common in those days. She was a quiet girl, but very outgoing when we were together.

On the playground, we would hold hands and play games. She would bring her elastic band and I would bring a hool-a-hoop. I have no idea if kids still play these games during recess? The elastic band game asked for 3 kids, at the least. Two kids had to step inside and hold the band around their ankles. Another child would jump over and in between the elastic band by a certain sequence. If the child had finished that sequence, the elastic band would be shifted up higher, up to the calves, then the back of the knees, thighs and waistline. Most of the time, we wouldn't be able to finish the game, for the schoolbell would disturb us. There was always another recess to continue the game. Thinking about it, brings back good memories of my friendship with Kathy 1. I hear from her every now and then. She has two kids, just like we do. Isn't it funny that her and our youngest went to summer camp together, not knowing their moms used to be best friends? We didn't find out until after camp. But that was kinda weird to know. She looks so much like her mom and Kathy 1 said the same about our daughter. L'histoire se répète, one could think. But that won't happen. The girls are no longer in elementary school. Teens don't play old-time-games any more. But I'm happy they still have best friends to talk to. I'm sure they have a lot to discuss, just like we did in our days..

Self-reliance

When I taught my children how to wash their laundry or iron their clothes at the age of 12, it was not meant as a punishment or as slavery. I wanted to teach them about the importance of being self-reliant. I wanted them to be independent teens going into adulthood. They know how to cook simple meals. They know where to find things at the supermarket and they make their own appointments with the hairdresser or doctor. It's good to see that they gain more confidence every time they stretch their limits. They may not fully realize it now, but they will once they will leave the house to go live by themselves or with a partner.

I was in highschool. Probably around the age of 15. We had sewing class (I don't know if they still do sewing class nowadays) and the theme of that month was: sew your own skirt. I sucked at sewing. It didn't interest me either. In fact, I could care less. I liked the teacher though. We got along well but sewing was just not my cup of tea.
My mother is a seamstress. She sews for a living. The most obvious thing to do, was to let her make the skirt for me. I didn't even assist her or asked her about the way she was going to design the skirt. I knew what it was supposed to look like, because my teacher had briefed us.
The next time in class, we had to show our work in progress. Not one student could show anything decent or be optimistic about the assignment. To the surprise of my classmates and the teacher, my skirt was already finished. The teacher was full of joy and she asked me to step forward and show the others how I had made the skirt. All of a sudden, I was sick to my stomach. I told her I felt nauseous  Could I go see the school nurse?

Without any doubt, my skirt looked the most professional and I got fabulous grades on my report card. Was I proud of myself? Did I learn anything? Apparently not.. my husband is good at sewing buttons on shirts or fixing holes in clothes. He didn't have a mom to fix everything for him. He had nobody else to rely on. He learned a good lesson..

Peace of mind

I was 18 and I had just finished highschool. Not ready to go to work yet but not knowing what direction I was headed to either. That was a hard one! I know I didn't want to go to university. I was not that much of a student. Not that my grades were bad, I just didn't like to study on a regular base. So university was not an option. College. Okay, that sounded more like it. I wanted to go to school in Ghent, because that's where all the fun was, right? I wanted to move out and find a room. In Ghent, obviously. Because, well, same reason.. I just had no clue what I wanted to study. My mom made the decision for me: I was not going to Ghent, not by any chance. I didn't understand? Was it because my sister was already studying in Ghent? I didn't see the problem. She did, so I heard. She suspected her second child to be out and partying all night long and neglecting school. I had no intention to do that whatsoever. Of course I would go out for a drink with friends, every now and then, but I would not get drunk or sleep on a street bench or do drugs or anything like that?

So she decided I couldn't go to Ghent. She also decided becoming a kindergarten teacher was the best option for me. Wasn't that the choice she had wanted to make for her own career? Hmhmhm. I admit I'm creative and yes, I'm good with kids. But becoming a kindergarten teacher? That was not an option I had considered myself. I was more the Tourism type. I wanted to do something with traveling and languages. But hey: I had the choice: go to school to become a teacher or go to work. So far for a choice..

I decided I wanted to go to college and I chose a school as far away from home as possible. It was a 2 hour ride by train and I have spent many boring hours on that wooden train seat before I treated myself to a car. My mom had no other choice than to let me rent a room in Eeklo. For her peace of mind, she agreed Eeklo was not Ghent and there weren't as many pubs or facilities to be distracted.
She and my sister accompanied me to visit different rooms. That first room was horrible. This old lady was looking for a resident companion. She had the attic for rent and there was this unstable stairways to my room, that she would push up at night, so I would be locked up in my room until the next morning. I'm sure my mom was thrilled by this idea, but I wasn't!

I ended up living with two sculptors. We became pretty close in the 3 years I shared a house with them. I loved my room. It was in the middle of the center (okay, Eeklo is not Ghent), close to school and vivid enough for me. Although there was no cell phone to check on me and the sculptors didn't spy on me, I behaved pretty well for a college student. I didn't go out every night and I didn't need alcohol to have a good time. I still didn't like to study a whole lot, but despite all of that, my grades were very good. To be honest: I was a good student and I ended up being one of the best students in class. My teachers told me I was going to be a good teacher. Then why was I so opposed to becoming one? It's your guess..

School's out for summer

I can't believe this school year is already coming to an end. It's your last year in highschool. Today was a special day for all of you. You were celebrating the last 100 days in highschool. All dressed up, you and your friends left the house in the middle of the night, on your bicycles, to Eeklo, where all of the excitement was going on. You had a blast! Looking like a rock chick, tattoos and all, you wandered around town, celebrating and cheering.

Tonight, there will be a mega party for all the students. It won't be too long before class 6D will split. It will be a strange sensation, to say goodbye to highschool. I remember my days and how things would never be the same again. Enjoy those last months sweetie... You're almost off to college now. We came to the realization that you won't spend much time at home anymore. That's okay with us. That's the way things go huh? It's part of growing up and moving out. You're ready. Go girl!

Fear of terrorism?

Last night, while she was packing her bags to go to Paris for 3 days, Eva expressed her fear of terrorism. Since the bombing at the Marathon of Boston, schoolteachers have been discussing the subject with their students. Their field trip to Paris has been given a dark side because of that horrible attack. Kids shouldn't be worrying about bombings on field trips. They shouldn't fear explosions while visiting the Eiffel tower. Their program is filled with exciting sightseeing and visits to famous monuments and buildings. They are kids, full of life and adrenaline, because of the upcoming trip. I hope they will have a safe trip and the time to soak up new impressions. Let the fear not take over, please. They know they have to stay together as much as possible and they shouldn't take the subway on their own. Not that being in a group will keep them safe without any doubt, but they shouldn't be out there by themselves either. These youngsters are 16 and full of adventure. Paris is shaken up a bit right now and people have been protesting against gay marriage yesterday. I hope the turmoil will have gone by the time the buses have arrived at their final destination. Those kids deserve a wonderful outing and we want to hear nothing but great stories when they come back home on Friday. 

A skull on the cooker...

In my first year in college, there was a classmate, whose father was a grave digger. I was fascinated by his work and by skeletons. Not too many years before, I had collected some skulls and skeletons of tiger cubs and baby capuchin monkeys. Working in the amusement park and taking care of the wildlife, I sometimes ended up with some dead animals. I was always curious about their skeleton and my boss agreed I could bury the corpses in my backyard. And I did..

One morning, the friend-with-the-grave digger-father, knocked on my student's room's door. She was holding a black garbage bag and said: I think you will be pleased with what I'm bringing you.. She left me with the bag and took off to school. I opened the bag and found what I had already expected: a human skull. I'm sure it was so not legal what I was holding in my hands, but I was thrilled. The skull was old. I didn't know whether it was male or female, but I named her Rosy. I took Rosy home in the bag. Nobody was home to welcome me. Rosy was dirty with sand and bugs. I decided to cook the skull on the stove, in a huge pot. The smell wasn't too bad, but the skull didn't get much whiter. It was still yellow and dirty.. I added some bleach to the water and brought it back to a boil. Not much later, my mom came home and she was truly appalled about what was cooking on her stove.. Darn..

Rosy came out clean. She was still a bit yellow and brown, but I liked her. She got a special place in my room. I don't recall having taken any pictures of Rosy, but I do remember I put a candle inside and when I would light that candle, the eye sockets would lit up.. At one time, Rosy held a rose in between what was left of her teeth..

I'm not sure what happened to Rosy once I left for the US. Maybe she got buried again?

I met my husband in 1994. He lived in a small village near college. The friend who had delivered the skull, lived in that same village. So did her father. And that's where he was a grave digger.. Let's hope we didn't dig up one of the family members..