Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ignoring the past

Some people wish to ignore the past and deny what has happened. They want to force you to erase your childhood memories and say things never happened. One's feelings cannot be denied or ignored. Either you felt those feelings or you didn't. I feel sorry for the people that think you are not entitled to your own feelings and say that your feelings were not right. They might have lived their childhood in a different way. They might have been happy all along and I truly hope they were not messed up the way I was. I don't tell them how to live their lives and I don't intrude their lives as they have intruded mine. 
I didn't haunt them the way they haunt me. But it's been enough. I'm no longer the little girl that was afraid to be punished for every remark I made. I'm no longer afraid to speak up for myself and I sure ain't going to let anybody dictate me how to live my life any longer!

Were they told their child was a BASTARD, because its parents weren't married??? I don't think so. So don't say I can't have mixed feelings about motherhood! My mother-in-law is still in shock when she brings up the words she heard my mother say.. Some people really wish to live in denial, because the truth is too painful and they might want to reconsider their deeds.

It is kind of interesting though, that nowadays my life interests them more than it used to when I was still living at home. They tell me to get a life. How come then, that they spend their time looking me up on the internet and reading all my posts on different sites?? Go figure!


2 comments:

Upje said...

Je weet dat ik hetzelfde probleem ken, hé. Niemand moet zijn eigen herinneringen of gevoelens verloochenen, meid. Misschien zijn kleine nuances ook alleen maar jouw beleving, maar die zijn er dan ook niet voor niets gekomen. Daar ben ik van overtuigd.

Dus ontken het verleden niet, maar schrijf het van je af.

www.kokenenhogehakken.blogspot.be said...

bedankt meisje, dat is ook mijn bedoeling. Dat ik MIJN belevingen van me af kan schrijven. En dat ga ik ook blijven doen. Het werkt alvast bevrijdend.