Friday, January 29, 2010

Mr Good Enough

I'm not a feminist, by no means. But I do like to be independent. I have been that way since I was a teenager. I had a weekend job from the moment I was thirteen. I wanted to make my own money so I would have my own money to spend. Having 3 jobs at the same time, was no problem for me. I always liked to work and keep busy.

I remember telling my friends I would never get married and I would certainly have no children. I didn't believe in eternal love and I couldn't imagine myself living with the same man for the rest of my life. Thinking of that way of life choked me. I was not a man-hater, absolutely not. I had boyfriends and some more longterm relationships. But not one of those men convinced me of spending a whole lifetime together.

In those days, I had not ever heard of Mr Good Enough. It would not even have drawn my attention, because I wasn't looking for a husband. I overheard my friends planning their wedding. I heard them talk about their future life: a husband, a house of their own, two children (a boy, followed by a girl), two cars in the driveway, a dog,.. I didn't share those dreams. I had no idea what they were talking about and why they were planning ahead so long in advance. We can't predict our future, so what's the use in creating one?
I lived day by day, without worrying about the future.

Once you are married with kids, things change. You start to think about the future, although we still can't predict it. But we try to make the best of it. We think about life in a different manner. Things that were priority once, seem trivial now. You set different goals and respect replaces passion. Very little couples remain as passionate as they were in their first years of dating each other. I think we wouldn't survive that much passion, honestly. Instead of passion, you look for comfort, for intimacy, for mutual respect, for friendship. Of course you still love one another and sometimes you are homesick for those faded passionate moments. Maybe your Mr Perfect has become Mr Great and in some cases, he's become Mr Good Enough. But as long as he's Mr Good Enough to you, you're fine. You wouldn't want to live with Mr Bad or Mr Nobody, would you?

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