Torn

People that know me, know that I am very willing to help others out. I try my best to do as much as I can, to make other people's lives better. That's just the person I am.

Sometimes to the point, that I loose myself. I give myself 200% and that means there's not much time left for my family or friends. And that's where the problem begins. 

My father has his own business and all his life he has worked very hard. Although he retired in January of this year, he still works full time. And he always told us, kids,  that good is just not good enough. You always have to be better and do better. It's never enough. You should always work as if it were your own business. You always have to make sure your boss needs you and you have to make him happy by all means.. Because after all, he's the one that feeds your mouth.

I don't agree with him anymore. What's the use? Because in the end, your boss will still be your boss. Time goes by, your children grow up and we grow older. Time flies and we cannot catch up with what we didn't have time for. 

The other day, somebody told me I want too much. I want to travel, I want to socialise, I want to be there for my family, I want to work, I want to do the things I like to do. She made me think about it. And I remember the words of my grandparents: "you have to save your money for later. You can travel when you stop working. You can do the things you like when your children leave the house.."

So who is right? Why can't I live the life I want to lead? Why do I have to be torn? Who can predict the future? Are you sure you will live long enough to fulfill all of your dreams? I want to live NOW!