Just think of it. How many times do you attend family reunions, because you feel you are obliged to go. Although you do not feel like going, you go anyway. What would people say if you wouldn't be there? Have you ever considered how many other people attend the same invitation, sharing the same guilt?
The fear of not being liked by others, is something else we face once in a while. When I was younger, I always wanted to please other people. I would have done anything. If only they would like me in return. Over the years, I have learned there's not one single reason to live like that. You can be you! Just you, nothing more. And if people don't like you the way you are: too bad! Bummer!
If only it were that easy. Children grow up with fear and guilt as well. They are afraid to tell their parents they did something wrong. They feel guilty if they don't finish their plates, because their mom spent so much time preparing dinner. It is sad..
I'm trying to accept people the way they are. It's a lot of work and you need to give yourself a wake up call now and then. It's good to think about your own actions, without feeling guilty. You are learning, after all. You cannot get better without making mistakes.
So if I don't answer my phone or don't respond to your mail right away, I will not make up any excuse. Maybe I was in a conversation with someone else and I didn't want to spoil the moment. Or maybe I just didn't feel like answering the door bell. I do not want to make excuses or apologise for not being available all the time. Just like you, I'm entitled to some private time. And in the end, I will return your call or reply your questions by mail. Don't make me feel guilty about it. Because I don't..