Monday, May 30, 2011

Sons and daughters

Being pregnant for the first time, I had no idea what to expect. People asked me whether we wanted a boy or a girl. I had no preference. I wanted the baby to be happy and healthy, that's all. Maybe there was a slight preference for a boy as our first child, followed by a sister. But it didn't matter to us.

In my seventh month, I nearly went into labor because kidney stones were playing rough house inside my body. The radiologist asked me if I knew the gender of my baby. We didn't at the time. So he told us we were going to have a boy! Great! A boy huh? We would call him Nathan..

My gynecologist didn't agree with the radiologist. She said she wasn't sure so she wouldn't tell us tales. We would see..

You came three weeks early. It was full moon, just like I had predicted. You were not a boy by far. You were a beautiful baby girl. We instantly forgot about the boy. We were thrilled with your birth and the fact that you were a girl! I thought pink leotards and pig tails in your hair, nailpolish and Christmas dresses. We would shop together and I would teach you how to cook..

Over the years, every now and then, I wonder what you would have looked like if you had been a Nathan instead of a Lana. Not because I really wanted a boy. Just out of curiosity..

Last night, you and I had a special mommy - daughter night out. We went to see the Russian Bolshoi Ballet Coppelia. It was amazing.. I knew you were going to love it. You no longer wear pink leotards, but you're still a dancer and I know how much you love ballet. So I guess it was the perfect idea for some special together time. You're a wonderful girl xx

PS if you had been a Nathan, I probably would have taken you to a soccer game. I'm not sad.

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