How men take a shower..
Sit on the side of your bed, strip off your clothes and drop them right by your feet.
Step over that pile of clothes and stroll to the bathroom, a towel tied around your waist.
If you accidently happen to cross your wife in the hallway, drop the towel and shake your private parts.
Look at your male appearance in the mirror. Rub your Humpty Dumpty belly like it's your biggest achievement.
Pull in that abdomen to see if you've already developed some chest muscles (not).
Turn on the water.
Don't look for a wash cloth, since you don't use any.
Wash and rinse your body in 5 minutes.
Wash and rinse your private parts in 15 minutes.
Wash your bum.
Shampoo your hair and skip the conditioner.
Make a shampoo mohawk.
Open the shower door, admire yourself and giggle.
Get out of the shower, look for a towel and smell it. If the smell is bearable: dry yourself and drop the wet towel on the floor.
Step over the wet towel and go back to your bedroom.
If you cross your wife in the hallway, shake your private parts.
Roll over your bed to dry off your back..