Thursday, April 26, 2012


I'm still 40 years old. That is, for some more months. There used to be a time where I would tell myself I wouldn't grow older than 50. It helped me make the best of my life. On the assumption that you won't lead a long life, you try to live your life to the fullest. I'm only 10 years away from that dreadful 50. Have I lived my life to its full capacity until now? Good question..

There have been some ups and downs along the line. There have been multiple highlights as well. Every decade has some stories to tell. Some are better than others, but they make my life worth living and life experience is what it brings you. There aren't much things I regret. I would regret regretting things. I'm an impulsive person and that sometimes brings me into awkward situations. But we survive and we move on.

I would like to recapitulate the last decade. Nearly 10 years ago, I was working a fulltime job as a clerk and a parttime job in our local daycare center. Around that time, I got diagnosed with diabetes T1 and it turned my world upside down. Our children were only 5 and 7 back then and I feared I wouldn't see them grow up. I thought I would lose sight over time or have my limbs amputated. My kidneys would definitely fail at filtering the waste out of my body. It scared the hell out of me.. I lost both my jobs and had to go back to school to retrain myself. For a number of years, I worked my way around two hospitals, before I traded my insulin pens for my insulin pump. It surprises me how many events over the years are situated around the diabetes. The insulin pump gave me more freedom (I stopped working in the hospitals around that same time) and a better quality of life. The children grew taller and they became more independent. I had time to expand the group of friends around me and do what I liked to do most: cook and bake, shop, socialize, .. Looking back, it seems like ages ago. Time flies and we'd better make the most of it. My body has grown older too, but I feel great and slim and attractive. Maybe like good wine? No, seriously. I enjoy life and I enjoy my family and friends. There's no crystal ball to predict the upcoming 10 years and I'm happy for that. I live by the day and take the days as they come. Cherishing the good moments and forgetting about the less. Thank you all for coming along on my road. There are so many intersections to cross and knowing each one of you is somewhere along the line to step along, is hopeful and comforting. That's the meaning of life. Thank you all for your involvement and care.

Photo Lana Joos

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