Friday, June 19, 2009

Sit and watch the grass grow

Sometimes I envy calm people. They can relax and lay down sunbathing, without anything on their minds. My mind is almost like an emotional roller-coaster. There's never silence in my head. And I fear silence. From the moment I wake up, I turn on the radio and the last thing I do before I head upstairs, is turn the sound of the TV off. I don't know what it feels like to empty your head, and that's exactly what you need to do to calm down and relax. I tried chakra meditation and it was good and interesting, but to me more of an effort than the relaxation it is supposed to be.

Hubby can lay down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. I like to observe him and wonder what he's thinking about. Whenever I ask him, he says he's not thinking of anything, just chilling. He could sit in the back yard and watch the grass grow and the clouds fly by. Amazing..

Silence in conversations scares me. It makes me uncomfortable. I know it shouldn't, but it does. Driving the car without a radio? Unheard of.. just even thinking of it, gives me goose-pimples.. bbrr..

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