It's getting harder though. Every day I wake up, thinking of what lays ahead of me. I would like to set a date, so I can start the countdown. The waiting is killing me. Not knowing whether the deal will go through or not. I know it was good to make me wait. I'm an impulsive person and sometimes I do things in the heat of the moment. This time, I have to really think about what's going to happen, because it will affect me for the rest of my life. It will probably affect me as a person as well. It's a decision I have to make all by myself. People can give me advise and tell me their experiences, but in the end, I'll be the one who has to go through with it or drop it.
The waiting is taking too long though. I want to move on and start my new life. I hope to have reached my goals by the end of the year. That means I shouldn't wait many more months.
There are some upcoming events I would like to attend, before I make one of the biggest decisions in my life. It'll be a tough time afterwards, and it scares me. I know what to expect, but then again, we're all different. It scares me, because I have a family and two children. I do not want to regret my decisions, but I know I have to go through with it. I have people who back me up and who will catch me whenever there's a chance I might fall. I'm pretty confident I will have the support I need. I just want to get it over with, so I can start working on my future. It will boost my confidence and my self-worth. It will help me get healthier. It will lift my overall well being to a higher level. It will help me in my diabetes management. I just know it's the right thing for me to do. But that doesn't make it less scary..