Sunday, July 4, 2010

Positive reinforcement

Parents are very important in the life of a child. Especially in the days where the child is still depending on the parents for education, food and shelter. A parent can make or break a child. It is their job to help their children grow and become good adults. Not all parents are capable of raising their children the best way possible. Some even really suck.. while others do a terrific job.

I can honestly say we never lacked anything in our youth, financially speaking. A new winter coat every year, new school supplies every new schoolyear, plenty of food in the fridge and a fully equipped bedroom. We were not spoilt rotten, but we were not short of anything either. Materialism is one thing. Children like material things. They always want more. If there had been computers or cell phones in our days, I'm pretty sure we would have had one.

Emotionally speaking, my youth must have been quite different from the youth of my brother and sister. At least, that's how they see it. I can't say I had a good bond with either one of my parents, nor my siblings. We shared a house, but we didn't talk. At least not about things that mattered. I never learned to solve issues, because issues were not allowed. I never heard my parents say that they loved me. We didn't hug. Of course we kissed each other good night, until I reached a certain age. There certainly wasn't a warm emotional connection. It made me independent though. It made it a whole lot easier to let go. You can't miss what you didn't have, can you?

I love my children deeply, both of them. Although they are so different, I appreciate each one for who they are. We hug and kiss and cuddle all the time. I often tell them how wanted they are and how I love them. Never ever would I give up on them. I remember my mother-in-law telling me once, that she would still love her children, even if they were convicted for murder and serving time in jail. Because that's what mothers do. They love their children unconditionally. No buts, no ifs, no conditions. Just unconditional love between a mother and her child..

I'm so lucky to have people around me, that love me for who I am. They don't condemn me for making mistakes. They still love me, even when I don't do what they expect me to do. I don't have to live up to their standard, for I can be me at all times. What a gift.. I feel blessed..

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