Thursday, November 29, 2012

On the other hand...

On my way home from the hospital, I had some time to think things over. I was angry and upset but I was also amazed about the information the doctor had given me. To be honest, it was not the first time I had heard this advice. Then why did it come as such a surprise to me? Maybe I didn't want to hear the truth. Maybe I wasn't ready to alter my life and let go of the diabetes. But I did realize something had to happen in order to get rid of that never ending fatigue.

I was still upset when I got home. My family had cooked dinner but I couldn't eat. The ribbons of fresh pasta got stuck in my throat and the tears were stinging behind my eye lids. I wanted to talk to my D friends and I needed their support. They know what it's like, if you have a chronic disease that consumes a lot of your time. Or don't they?

It felt good to read their comments and feel their virtual hugs and reassuring words. Some had the nerve to tell me more or less the same Dr Feelgood had told me. He was not the only one who thought it was over the top. So maybe it was time for me to reevaluate my life. Hubby had suggested the idea a while ago, but I didn't want to listen. After all, he doesn't have a chronic disease, so how would he know what it feels like? I must admit, I locked him out. Although he is very supportive of what I do, he also feels that D is wearing me out. No, he knows I am wearing me out.. I needed a hug. I needed a comforting arm and no words. I needed someone to help me lick my wounds.

It's time to get up and make some agreements. I have to reconsider my life and let go of some activities. Maybe I gave up the wrong hobbies, like this blog. I thought it would help me get more family time and more quality of life. I did miss writing here though. Maybe I should.. maybe I should.. let go..

5 comments:

Jangeox said...

WB :-*

Cathy Van de Moortele said...

:-*

Anonymous said...

<3

Scott K. Johnson said...

Maybe the blog can be part of your toolset for working through this? I have always found the exercise of writing to be helpful, especially when I don't know what to do or where to start.

Cathy Van de Moortele said...

thank you Scott...