Before you start to frown your eye brows or pick up the phone to give us an interrogative call: we are not planning on getting pregnant.. Today, coming home from Florida, I checked one of the blogs I am following. A couple I know, is trying to get pregnant. I read the follow up on the story and it struck me harder than I could have imagined..
We just came home from Florida, as I mentioned above, with only one of our daughters. The oldest one went to Italy with school and she had a great time too. I can't remember we ever went on a holiday with only one of our girls. It was completely different from bringing both daughters along. Then what would our vacation have been like, if we had not brought any daughters along? It won't be many more years before this occasion will occur. Nevertheless, knowing your children are at home while you are abroad, is still different from being away on a vacation without kids. Meaning: WITHOUT kids. Not: kids@home or firstname.lastname@example.org. No kids at all. As in: never having had children. I honestly can't imagine what that would feel like. I met my soon-to-be-husband and within 2 weeks he had moved in with me and I had become pregnant. So let's say we were never childless, if you count the baby in the womb too.
What would our life have looked like without children? What would we have done differently? Would we have traveled more? Would we have bought a different house? Would there be less greasy stains on the wallpaper? Where would we have been when parents were in school discussing school reports with the class teacher? Maybe we would have been out in a restaurant, sipping our glass of wine and talking about grown up subjects. Now many conversations involve the kids and their friends. Maybe we would have had guests over. Maybe we both would have worked full time and've had lots of extra money to spend. Maybe..
There is no maybe. We were very fortunate our children came to us, just like that. It didn't take us months in a row to get pregnant. We have no idea how painful it is when that period hits you month after month after month, like someone slapping you in the face over and over again. How would we have reacted to people saying: do you want me to show how to make kids?
I'm well aware it's very painful and stressful, frustrating and disappointing if the two of you are so looking forward to having children of your own and it's not happening. You see different doctors, try different methods (some methods are completely new to me and I'm baffled with how things need to be followed up) and still: no growing belly. How would one respond to the news, that theoretically there shouldn't be any problems, but in practice it doesn't work out?
Are children the best thing since sliced bread? Do they make your life richer, warmer, better? Is luck complete once you have children of your own? That's a question I cannot answer. We are very lucky with our girls and we are so proud of them. We cherish and honor them and we would not want to miss them. We will never know what our life would have been like without them, because there is no comparison. If you really want to have that little baby in your arms: go for it! Make the best of it and believe in what you're doing. Keep loving each other in the mean time and keep living your life as a couple. I can only hope with you and keep my fingers crossed - cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye - that it won't be much longer before your household will be blessed with a rosy baby and nursery rhymes. I honestly wish that, one day, you will sit in that rocking chair, holding your precious little baby and sing to it with that voice of a nightingale..