Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Live-abetes instead of Die-abetes

Most of the time, I don't mind having diabetes. Of course it would be better to be diabetes-free, but I can live a pretty good life with D too. Some days, diabetes really sucks. I hate those high numbers. Many D-friends fear low numbers, but I hate hypers. They tire you out and they give you an overall sick feeling. It makes me wanna puke if my numbers are high. I would drink the contents of a full bath tub, go to bed and never wake up again. A couple of years ago, my numbers were often in the 400-600 mg/dl region. That's not where they are supposed to be. Knowing that 70-160 mg/dl is acceptable. I didn't mind back then, to have those outrageous numbers. I was used to them. Going below 250 mg/dl was scary at the time. Now that I'm used to "normal" numbers, those high numbers really freak me out. I have such a hard time to keep my eyes open (okay, the high blood glucose is not the only reason.. thank you for reminding me, I'll have that fixed in the near future). All I want to do then, is give an extra shot of insulin to lower that ridiculously high number, go to bed and be left alone. That's exactly what I did this week, during a visit to my inlaws. I had planned a day out with my mother-in-law and all I could do was lay down on the couch and nap. I know she didn't mind and I know she wanted me to feel better, but I hate it when that happens. I hate to loose control over my body. Because I never intended to sleep in the midst of the day, did I? Giving up control is a part of D I don't like. And sometimes, there's not much choice, because every now and then, D takes over. All you can do, is give in and hope you'll feel better soon. Extra insulin, a lot of water and a good rest solves the problem most of the time. And then we move on. We forget about it. There's no use crying over spilled milk, is there? It's just one of those things about diabetes, we have to accept..

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