Banoffee Pie

It's not diabetes friendly, by far. Absolutely not. Way too many carbs, too much fat and sweetness. But oh so good.. I made this pie for Eva's birthday and it was pretty popular. Although it takes a couple of hours to finish the pie, it's not difficult or labor-intensive. It's just so easy and yummie!

* 1 can of sweetened condensed milk

* a roll of vanilla flavored biscuits (I used vanilla filled sandwich cookies)

* 3 tablespoons of shortening

* 5 small bananas or 3 large ones

* 300 ml of double cream, whipped

* chocolate shavings

Put a large pan of water on the stove and bring it to the boil. Put the closed can of milk in the water and cover the pan. Let it cook for 2 hours, until the milk has become toffee. (you can boil several tins at the same time and leave them in your pantry afterwards, for a quick banoffee pie)

Open the roll of cookies and put the cookies in a large ziploc bag. Close up the bag and smash the cookies with a rolling pin.

Mix the fine crumbs with the melted shortening and press the mixture down in a round tin. Let it sit in the fridge for 1 hour.

Slice up the peeled bananas and arrange them on the crust. Top with the hot toffee and let sit in the fridge for 15 min.

Spread the whipped cream on top and let sit in the fridge for 15 min.

Finish off the pie with chocolate shavings.

Is your saliva making your chin wet already???

Love hurts..

Love hurts, love scars

Love wounds and marks

Any heart, not tough

or strong enough

To take a lot of pain

Take a lot of pain

Love is like a cloud

Holds a lot of rain

Love hurts...

by Nazareth

Live life to the fullest

This morning, I got notified that your mom passed away yesterday. Just in 14 days notice, she was rushed into the hospital. She had an ulcer that eventually lead to a gastric perforation. The surgeon did everything he could to fix her. There were complications though. Her liver was affected to the point that there was no manner to make it better...

You loved your mom deeply. The two of you were very close, since your daddy died when you were only 3 years old. She took care of you all by herself and that was not always easy. You have cerebral palsy, that prevents you from walking. Your mom helped out whenever she could and she helped you to get your own apartment, so you could become an independent young woman.

Your mom had served in the police force and later she became an English teacher. Her students loved her and they looked forward to her classes.

She lived her life to the fullest. She lived her life the way she wanted to live it. She was 57 when she passed away. Too young, way too young. I don't think she had any regrets but I do think she was very sorry to leave you behind. She must have known though, that you would manage. She knew you had your boyfriend who loves you deeply. You have your family that loves you. You are independent and you have an assistant to help out whenever you need her assistance.

Hang in there. You'll be fine. Your mom and dad will watch over you. Don't worry.

Fragrant bubble baths

Last year, before summer holidays, you started to complain about pain in your knees. Things have gone worse ever since. We have visited several doctors and specialists, and not one of them has been able to relieve your pain. They diagnosed you to have chondromalacia patellae. You will eventually outgrow it. It is painful, no doubt about that. The thing is, your pain threshold is low. Too low. At least, that's what the specialist tells us. We never thought of that. We thought you could bear a lot of pain. Apparently we were wrong. The specialist wants to test you for fibromyalgia... If you are indeed suffering from this condition, we will have a long way to go and you in particular. You will have to learn to focus on other things to forget about the pain. We are still hoping it will not be fibromyalgia and that you will outgrow the chondromalacia. Sometimes, the pain makes you skip school, because you have to walk in agony otherwise. You see physiotherapists on a regular basis and you also frequent a chiropractor. Sometimes it gives you some relief, but most of the times, the sessions make it even more painful.

You like to take a fragrant bubble bath every other day. It helps you to relax your muscles and let your mind drift off. You're too young to be in pain. I wish there would be a way to help you. I would take over your pain at any time, if only I could. You're such an energetic person and the pain no longer allows you to dance, your most favorite recreation. Riding your bike to school, is causing more pain. But you refuse to take the bus, because your girlfriends all ride their bikes. You don't want to be an exception, you want to go with the flow.

We're going to see the specialist in the beginning of March. I hope she will have your blood work done. Maybe there's another reason why the pain is so fierce. Maybe your knees are infected and she can give you pain relievers. I hope so sweetie... you deserve a pain free teenage life.. xx

Gimme a break!

Today, my friend and I were going out for breakfast at the beach. We had to take two cars, because she had to pick up her kids in one town, and I had to pick up my daughter in another town.

We had just left my house, when someone warned me that the police were giving away tickets for speeding. DUH! Like I needed one! I got one just the other week, on the same spot by the way. So I slowed down and so did my friend, who was driving behind me. I looked in my rear view mirror and we smiled at each other for not getting a speeding ticket.

Just a few moments later, another police patrol was standing in the middle of the street. They were pulling over several cars. They let me through, but my friend had to pull over. Shoot! I parked the car and ran over to join her. Twelve cars were waiting there to get their tickets. What a joke! Come on! They said she had broken the law, because she was speeding: 70 km/hour instead of 50. Now how is that possible? She was right behind me, and I was not speeding???

Anyway, she got a ticket and they wanted to make sure she had not been drinking. At 9:00 AM? Gimme a break! Of course she had not been drinking. I asked the police officer if she was going to be rewarded for not breaking the law this time. Negative answer.. He could at least have given her a discount on her ticket, right?

The officers were so slow, that we feared our breakfast would turn into a late lunch! That was not the best way to start a nice day out with a friend.. At least, breakfast was yummy and the bread rolls crisp.

A devil in disguise

I believe I will have to withdraw 94 euros out of your savings account! I can't believe you did that! I had to leave the house for half an hour and you were sound asleep on the couch, dreaming about marrow bones and peanut butter stuffed Kong toys. I thought it was a shame to wake you up and put you in the bench. I should've known better though.. You ate part of the charger of my Macbook. I was so mad at you!!! you can't believe it. Maybe I should teach you to use your words instead of destroying something out of distress.

I was told by someone who's supposed to know, that whippet puppies are in fact little devils in disguise. If I had a camera, I would make some footage during my absence, to see you transform into that little devil. Red horns on your cute little head, glowing red eyes, a shiny sharp fork in your paw and a pointed tail at the rear end. You must have really enjoyed destroying that charger. You know I need my Macbook! To finish it off, you found a red pen you could chew on as well, leaving red ink marks all over the couch. You little twit!

Maybe I should start putting you in time-out. How about getting a naughty chair for you? Would that help? No more excuses: the bench will be your second home if I'm not around. Sorry Inthe!

Fancy dinner

I really like to go out to dinner. Fancy restaurants, pleasant atmosphere, excellent food and corresponding service. I like restaurants where you can look down into the menu rather than looking up to the menu, if you know what I mean...

There is something special about going to a fancy restaurant. It makes you feel special and if the staff pampers you, so the both of you can enjoy the refined food, you are most definitely headed towards a splendid evening.

I had an unexpected fancy dinner last Friday. Great company, excellent food and so many interesting subjects to discuss. I had a long ride ahead of me afterwards, but the evening was perfect so that's okay.

Going out for dinner doesn't mean overindulgence to me. I don't like to eat too much or too much fatty food. I like small portions of fresh food. Meals of which you can tell the cook has taken his time to prepare it. You need to find the passion for food in the cook's creatures. That's when dinner is perfect for me.. So when are we going?

Snap capps

I am pretty sure most of you have never heard of it. I love new gadgets and I have found one that really works and comes in handy at so many places. It's not available over here, so I get them in the US. Curious already? Okay, this is what it's about:

Do you ever buy cans of soda? Maybe your children like to take them to school or to their bedroom to have a drink while studying? Would you take your own cans to work if only you would find a way to close the can again, so the fizz doesn't leave the can?

I found the solution: the snap capp! It's made out of durable plastic in bright colors. It turns a can into a bottle. Now how about that? You snap the snap capp onto an open can of soda, you open and close the bottle whenever you feel like it and you have a refreshing drink where and whenever you want! Isn't that exciting??? Once you have finished your drink, you squeeze the empty can and the snap capp comes off real easily. You give it a quick rinse and let it dry and it's ready to be used again.

I keep snap capps in my car, my purse, in the kitchen, at work,.. My kids take it to school, so they no longer need to worry about not being able to finish their drink. It's great when you have lots of people over at your house. Each one can have his own snap capp. Let them pick a color and there are no more questions like "whose drink was this".

If you have any questions, or if you would like to have some snap capps of your own, just give me a buzz, will you?

The thing is..

I have loads of work to do, but I can't seem to get to it. I just want to hang out on the couch. I can't get organized at all and that's nothing like me. I can't focus and I'm distracted real easily. I do the laundry in 5 episodes and it takes me half an hour to peel potatoes for dinner. What's going on?? I'm tired, I'm exhausted in fact. If only I could get a good night's sleep. My blood glucose is leading a life of its own at the moment and it's not the kind of life I had in mind. I won't fuzz about it, because I know there's not much I can do about it right now. Circumstances are of that manner, that there's too much stress right now. Calm down? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Okay, that's what I want, but it's not totally in my hands, is it? I would like to empty my head of all those spinning thoughts, but who can I trust to take over? Because someone has to take over if I'm no longer allowed to puzzle.
I don't know how much longer this is going to last, but I have reached my breaking point..

The perfect mix

It's handy to have it sit in your kitchen cabinet. Sunday mornings are less stressful if you know your Tupperware container is keeping it safe for you. You need only a few other ingredients to finish it off and those are ingredients you have on your shelves. The mix makes a great family present as well. Just put it in a glass jar, label it (don't forget to add the extra ingredients on the label) and surprise your loved ones with your favorite no fail pancake mix!

10 cups of plain flour

2 1/2 cups of milk powder

1/4 cup of sugar

1/4 cup of baking powder

2 tablespoons of salt

Mix all the dry ingredients and put the mixture in a large Tupperware container. Keep dark and cool.

So you wake up on a beautiful Sunday morning and you want to surprise the kids with home made American pancakes?

Reach for the Tupperware container with your own special pancake mix. Spoon out 1 1/2 cup of mix. Add 1 slightly beaten egg, 1 cup of water and 3 tablespoons of oil. Don't overdue the mixing, just mix it with a fork.

Heat a griddle. Once it's hot, ladle the dough in portions onto the griddle. As soon as the first bubbles appear, flip the pancakes and cook the other side. Keep the pancakes warm on a plate, under aluminum foil. Serve with maple syrup or a dollop of real butter..

Decisions

Is it about making the right decision or making the decision right? I don't know anymore. I feel so torn, so troubled, so worried. I'm so afraid to never reach the goal I have set. Why is it taking so long? Why am I being tortured? I have been waiting for an answer for 6 months now and it is starting to take its toll.

Some people say it shouldn't matter where I have it done. Others say I'm doing the right thing, waiting for the right person. I think I should wait for the right person too. But it's taking so long.

I'm so lucky to have all the support I can get. The warmth of my friends and family are helping me to cope. They have been so supportive and they have been there for me all along. Hard times are to come in the future, but with your support, I'll cope with that too.

Just one phone call.. just that one phone call, that's all I need now..

I spy with my little eye

Some people think it's interesting to follow every step I take. They haunt me over the Internet and try to keep up with every post I make on different websites. They think I don't know. They think I'm stupid and that they are invisible and invincible. Well I'm sorry to prick your bubble: you are not! The Internet has no secrets, not even if you pick some silly nickname you think nobody will ever find out about. Bummer.. I guess I'm not that stupid after all. Good luck to you all and "enjoy" your "anonymity".. It makes me laugh, really. The world is a whole lot smaller than you think.

We were all smiles and laughs

The house had been pretty crowded and I had not found the time to cook lunch. So we decided to take you out to lunch for your birthday. Your sister was staying at grandma's, so it was just the three of us. I don't know why this day was so different from other days, but all restaurants we visited, were packed. "Sorry guys, we're full!!" We didn't give up though, and one hour after we left the house to go for a quick bite, we ended up in a little town nearby. A restaurant we had never heard of or visited before. We parked the car and being starved by then, we were happy to hear the lady of the house say: of course we have a table for you, always!

We were rather surprised by the interior of the house. It was old, a little outdated and very catholic (I have never seen so many religious candles or pictures of the Pope in a restaurant before). It made me giggle somehow, while we were walking to our table. I had this crazy feeling that Manuel of Fawlty Towers was going to appear in an instant. The lady of the house had us seated before she sneaked off to the kitchen.

We got two portions of freshly hand peeled shrimp on tomato and lettuce. She must have thought we were really hungry? But I'm glad she did, because the shrimp were delicious.

Figuring out what we were going to have, I was amazed about the hand written menus. Every single card was hand written, no copies in this restaurant. I have written many, many menus when I was 18 (in calligraphy, to be more specific, so trust me: it's hard work).

So we finally decided about what we were going to have: pepper steak for Eva "medium rare, please", Grandma's special pork tenderloin for Hubby and Chef's Scallops for me. Whether we wanted mashed potatoes or hand cut French fries to go with that?

It took them some time to serve lunch, but it was well worth the wait. Eva's steak was superb! It was so tender and the brandy based cream sauce was very much to be liked! Grandma's special pork tenderloin was as tender as can be and the vegetables were freshly cooked and fitted the dish real well. And then.. my scallops: fresh, fat and juicy. My first fresh scallops in a very long time. The finely chopped vegetables in the sauce finished off the dish.

The lady of the house handed Eva a nice bunch of daffodils for her birthday. That was so sweet and thoughtful of her! And she offered her a free dessert as well, but we were supposed to be at grandma's for the birthday party in half an hour, so we asked for a rain cheque. She packed the leftovers to take home, because she thought it was a shame we didn't finish it all..

Funny how things turned out. We went out for a quick bite and ended up in some fancy restaurant with an excellent service and an exquisite menu. Just the way I like it!

The beauty salon

Today is your 13th birthday sweetheart! You have grown so much in the last couple of months, that you have turned into a pretty young lady.. We may no longer call you a child now, you say.
Since school started again today, we had your birthday party this weekend. On Saturday, you had 6 girl friends over. I asked a friend of mine, who is a professional beautician, to come over to our place, to teach you girls how to take care of your skin. You made pairs and she was the one who taught you how to cleanse your face, scrub your skin, put on make up. What a joy that was! Your friends were all very quiet and interested and definitely impressed. You learned about mascara and eye shadow and cleansing milk and of course, massaging the face of the person you were treating.
Afterwards, you continued having your own beauty salon, so you applied make up on each other, polished your finger nails, .. to become ravishing young ladies!

At night we had dinner together and then you all ran upstairs to.. talk about the boys, I guess? Everybody stayed overnight in your bedroom. I don't think I need to say any more..

All 7 of you were up in time for breakfast: American pancakes, sweat rolls, hot chocolate.. It was like you were all starved!!!!

In the afternoon, we were all invited at Grandma's, to celebrate yours and Grandpa's birthday with all the other members of the family. What a great time we had! It's good to have these family reunions on a regular basis. We're a tight group.

Happy Birthday my sweet Eva.. xxx you're a terrific daughter! and I can't express enough how much I love you.

What makes me smile

• the sun!
• going abroad
• sleeping whippets on the couch
• a hug from the children
• musicals
• a meeting with a good friend
• having latte macchiato over long girl friend conversations
• shopping
• fresh pasta
• the me-time after 11 PM
• a fascinating book I can't put down
• helping out other people
• spontaneous laughter
• the paycheck at the beginning of each month
• diet coke
• 123 mg/dl on my blood glucose meter
• manicured nails
• the annual teeth cleaning session at the dentist
• the atmosphere of Bruges, Belgium
• Arabic music
• having dinner at a fancy restaurant
• Bollywood movies
• an unexpected note from my daughter on my pillow
• ..

Never judge a book by its cover

I met an interesting man. He's 92, still living by himself and very up to date. He has a sparkling personality and a great sense of humor. Some of his jokes are a little on the edge, but that's okay. I can put it in perspective. He said I had a very cute face, but it didn't match the big body.. Darn.. ouch.. that hurt. But his daughter warned me about these possible comments. He can't help it. He's no longer the person he used to be and sometimes he scolds people or ridicules them. I can deal with that. He's a witty man and he has a lot of wisdom to share. He and his wife have raised 8 children and they all love him very deeply. Sadly enough, he lost his wife nearly a quarter of a century ago. He's keeping up the spirit though.

I know many people that are a whole lot younger than him, who aren't as witty and sharp as he is. He's not the typical old man and I believe he would even be offended if one would call him old! Old people are not necessarily boring and dull and lonely. Not all of them sleep all day and have no idea what year we're in. In fact, this man is pretty different. I hope to see more of him. A little voice inside me tells me that is going to be the case. Even if it's only temporarily..

The Color Purple

It's still one of my favorite movies ever.. I have no idea how many times I have watched this masterpiece, but it still moves me. I'm not a Whoopie Goldberg fan and her comic roles certainly don't appeal to me. But the way she became Miss Celie, was extraordinary. It was real, it was touching, it was not acted. Oprah Winfrey as Miss Sophia was shining as well. The hurt that was seen in her eyes, was real hurt. It was the pain she had felt from within and it all came out in her role as Harpo's wife.

Let the songs sung by Shug Avery drift you off and get ready for this old time's favorite.

If the nights are cold and you have nothing else to do, rent The Color Purple. It will take you back in time. Make sure to keep the kleenex nearby.

Until eternity

Maybe one day, a cure will be found to help Diabetes out of the world. I hear researchers are getting there. But then again, isn't that what they said 30 years ago? I admit, things have changed a whole lot over the years. I'm glad I never had to use glass syringes that needed to be cooked to be sterile. I'm glad I didn't have to pee on a strip to know an average blood glucose reading. I can't even imagine life without my Terumo Finetouch blood glucose meter. Things really have improved.

When I got my insulin pump in September 2006, I kinda told myself this was going to be my lifelong partner. Till eternity. Till death do us part. It was always going to be there, attached to my body, wherever I went. It would sleep with me, eat with me, walk with me, talk with me. It would watch me take a shower, go to the bathroom, making love. I would hear alarms in the movie theatre, at work, in the middle of the night. That's the consequence of having this kind of artificial pancreas. It's always there.

I read as much information I can lay my hands on. It looks promising. Scientists are working on making a real artificial pancreas. It won't replace the pump though, on the contrary. You will need the pump and a continuous glucose monitoring system. Meaning you will have two cannulas in your tummy. I'm on that CGM system already, so no big deal about the two cannulas. It will be a big improvement I believe, even with two cannulas. The continuous glucose system will make its own adaptations, according to the blood glucose of the moment. Now we still have to count carbs and tell our pump what we're going to eat. The artificial pancreas will no longer need us to tell it about our menu. Nowadays, we have to justify every gram of food we put into our mouths. That's scary! There's always someone who knows exactly what you've been eating.

So yes, I still believe my pump will be my until eternity partner..

One diet doesn't fit all

I no longer believe in diets. There are so many diets, that your stomach would get sick just thinking about it. Soup diets, low carb, Atkins, Bernstein, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Sonoma,.. name it and I've tried it. Most diets work well for the first week or two. You are all hyped up and motivated and you pay more attention to what you eat. Sometimes you even keep a food diary and that immediately keeps you from eating too much. But then boredom comes in and you start longing for the foods you miss out on. To one person, that is bread, to another it may be junk food. It doesn't matter what foods you crave: if the diet can't make you forget about that food, it's not working.

Up till now, I prefer the Sonoma diet. Southern style, olive oil, veggies, lean meat, lots of fish. It's easy to keep up with this lifestyle as long as you don't eat out. Or if you live all by yourself, so you don't need to cook different menus to everyone's taste. But that's not going to happen.

For as long as we will live, there will be new diets. It makes the world go around.

This is not my first rodeo

This has been going on for many months now, and the solution is still not in sight. But we're working on it. Today we're going to have another meeting, in another country. Just to make sure we are still headed in the same direction. Some more people are going to join us and tell us more about their experiences on the subject. I'm looking forward to it, but then again, I'm also reluctant. What if there's no solution for me? I know I shouldn't think that way, because I can't predict the future, but someone has been working against me for so long, that I don't keep my hopes too high any more. If there wasn't any hope, I would certainly not attend the meeting. I do have people backing me up and they give me all their support. So I keep going, although the hill is getting steeper by the day..