Thriving in my kitchen

If you know me, you know I spend a lot of time in my kitchen. Since we have bought this house in 1997, this is our second kitchen. I'm very happy with it. It's handy, it looks great and above all: there is a lot of space for all of my appliances. 

I think you can never have enough appliances and one can always please me with another kitchen gadget. I love to shop in kitchen specialty shops. Going through the appliances, I come up with new recipes and inspiration to cook some more.

I'm very proud of my stove. It has 6 gas burners and a large oven. Every day, I use this stove to cook on and experiment with food and herbs. I don't know where I got the love for cooking. I had not cooked an egg before I went to college. I didn't do much cooking then either. When I lived in the US, I used to prepare the meals for the children and I got the hang of it. Bought myself some cook books and I became addicted..

Nowadays I read cook books as if they were some kind of an exciting story. I watch every cooking programme on TV and I love to go out for dinner, to get some new ideas. I'm very happy to have a friend that shares my interest for cooking. We share recipes and once in a while, we cook together.

Whenever I read a fabulous recipe, I rush to the kitchen to start making it. My pantry is stuffed with basic products everyone should have access to. I can always cook a simple but delicious meal with whatever is in the fridge or pantry. I believe that is pretty exciting..! I hate an empty pantry! I think I have to go out to get some more groceries..

Girls just wanna have fun

I'm always excited to see my lady friends. They make me smile, they make me happy and there's always so much to discuss. I don't get to see them that often, but I don't think that is necessary either. Distance makes the bonds grow fonder, remember?

Yesterday was one of those days. And it was a lucky day, because I got to see two good girlfriends. One in the afternoon and one in the evening. I feel blessed.

The first friend I had a date with today, is a mom of two. Both her husband and their youngest child have diabetes type 1. I have never met a person like her, who takes all the responsibility of taking care of 2 diabetics. Because it is not a piece of cake, believe me. Sometimes I forget she's not the diabetic. She's a wonderful person.. and I'm glad I got to know her, through our forum.

I had the opportunity to test out my camera again. The youngest daughter of my second date, is 6 and she's a little fairy. She has wonderful blue eyes (looks after her mom) and blue eyes are not easy for photographers. They turn red before you know it. But the pictures came out real well and I think she will be happy with the result as well. 

I had really missed my friend. I believe we had not seen one another for about 6 weeks and that is a long time. Since we both work now, and her children are younger than mine, getting together isn't that easy any more. But whenever we get together, we catch up and both of us can go to bed with a good feeling of true friendship..

Torn

People that know me, know that I am very willing to help others out. I try my best to do as much as I can, to make other people's lives better. That's just the person I am.

Sometimes to the point, that I loose myself. I give myself 200% and that means there's not much time left for my family or friends. And that's where the problem begins. 

My father has his own business and all his life he has worked very hard. Although he retired in January of this year, he still works full time. And he always told us, kids,  that good is just not good enough. You always have to be better and do better. It's never enough. You should always work as if it were your own business. You always have to make sure your boss needs you and you have to make him happy by all means.. Because after all, he's the one that feeds your mouth.

I don't agree with him anymore. What's the use? Because in the end, your boss will still be your boss. Time goes by, your children grow up and we grow older. Time flies and we cannot catch up with what we didn't have time for. 

The other day, somebody told me I want too much. I want to travel, I want to socialise, I want to be there for my family, I want to work, I want to do the things I like to do. She made me think about it. And I remember the words of my grandparents: "you have to save your money for later. You can travel when you stop working. You can do the things you like when your children leave the house.."

So who is right? Why can't I live the life I want to lead? Why do I have to be torn? Who can predict the future? Are you sure you will live long enough to fulfill all of your dreams? I want to live NOW!

I'm not ready to say goodbye yet...

My Deltec Cozmo insulin pump, that has kept me alive for nearly 3 years, has gone out of business. The worldwide financial situation has made the company stop making medical supplies for diabetics. I am really attached to my pump and I'm heart broken.. I don't want to trade my Cozmo for some other pump, that has no benefits to me what so ever. Okay, there is one option that I believe to be valuable: the continuous glucose monitoring. But by no means will we be able to use it, because it's too expensive and the clinic is not going to provide for it. So what's the use?

The only insulin pump I wanted to try out, was the Omnipod. Because it is wireless. And that's the one and only reason. But the Omnipod is not available in our teeny tiny country. 

I was so happy with my pump. I could personalise it, it reminded me to provide insulin, there were many alarms I set and used all the time. This really sucks... 

I was really happy with customer service as well. They helped me out whenever I needed their help. At home, I used the software to make back ups of my daily diabetic life, so I didn't have to keep any written records. 

I feel for the American employees that lost their jobs because of Deltec going out of pump business. I pray for them and their families that a good solution will be found. In our country, people will not loose their job over it. They will switch to another brand and they will move on with their lives.

I want to thank Deltec Cozmo, for the nearly 3 fine years that I could use their pump. It's been a true pleasure and nobody else has been that close to me 24/7 as my Cozmo. I'm not ready to give it up. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. Please don't make me.

Going out for lunch

Every once in a while, I go out for lunch with a friend. It's always fun to go out with a friend or to go out for lunch, but it's even better when you can combine both. 

I live in a very small town and there's not much to do around here. I like to take the car and drive around, looking for nice places to take my friends to. Some places I frequent quite often, others I never go back to, because the hosts weren't polite or the food wasn't great. Cooking is my passion and I love fresh veggies and luscious fruit. Most of the time, I ask for a salad. The combination of salad greens and fresh fruit is a favorite of mine. When ruby red strawberries, sturdy chunks of fresh pineapple and moist cubes of mango appear in my salad, it can really make a difference. 

What I do miss over here, is a choice of salad dressing. To most Americans, it's normal, when you go out for lunch, that you are asked what dressing you would like on your salad: Thousand Island, Blue Cheese, Italian dressing,... Do restaurant keepers over here even consider asking? Nope. They just serve whatever dressing they feel like, and mostly it's some bottled dressing and not the real stuff. And you don't get it on the side. So if you don't like the dressing, bummer!

Cotton balls in my head

It's been pretty hectic around here and too much is going on at the same time. I feel numb and it feels like there are cotton balls in my head. I need to make some more to-do lists, in order to organise whatever needs to be done. I make lists in my BlackBerry, lists in my head, lists on paper, lists on the notebook. It feels great when you can erase some items that you have completed. But that's not the case yet.

A couple of years ago, we had this lady that came to help us clean the house. I thought that was wonderful and it gave me extra time to do what I like to do most. Until she stole Eva's piggy bank. Twice! That's when we decided not to have anyone around the house anymore. Meaning the cleaning is up to us again. Leaving us less time to enjoy life.

I would like to clear my head and take all the cotton balls out. I think it would feel real refreshing.

Dr. Phil?

I think it must be a true eye opener, to have Dr. Phil as your personal therapist. I love his shows and normally I record them. In the late evening, when my family is in bed, I watch his episodes. I have learned so many good things already. 

What I love the most about Dr. Phil, is how he advices couples to be grateful to one another. Every morning, you should ask yourself: "what can I do today, to make the life of my partner better?" Isn't that a great thought? It sure would make life a whole lot easier.. The world would be a lot better if we would live it the Dr. Phil-way.

Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey are very popular in the States and over here, more and more people get to know their shows. I think Oprah is a magnificent lady and she can be real proud of herself. 

It would be fantastic if one day, I could attend the Dr. Phil or Oprah Winfrey show.. But I think it will remain a dream..

Trick or Treat!

I feel  like I went trick or treating :-) 

Today my surprise box from the US has arrived. I was so excited to open it..! And it contained all I asked for, plus some superb extras. What a joy! Thank you dear friends, you are absolutely wonderful. I just had my first fluffernutter in 10 years, to solve my sugar low.

Guess what I'm going to make today? Meatballs and chocolate chip cookies, using my brand new cookie scoops. I won't serve them together, don't worry, but I want to try out all of the new things I got. 

And I can make more hazelnut lattes, with the tasteful hazelnut splenda they sent me. Joy oh joy!

I feel like a kid at Christmas!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I still miss my American host family from Chelmsford, Massachusetts. It took me almost 4 days by train to travel from Portland, Oregon to their lovely home. It snowed all the way over there, so I didn't see much else than white landscapes and my intention was to see all the different states we passed through.

My host dad picked me up at Boston Railway Station. I was exhausted.. didn't know whether I was supposed to eat or sleep. I felt filthy because I had not had the opportunity to shower on the train.

But my host family made me feel very welcome all at once. They trusted me with their 2 precious sons of 5 and 9. They were absolutely adorable and one of them sat on my lap right away. The boys wanted to teach me English words, because they had had a Belgian au pair before and she spoke nothing but French. So they were pretty glad I understood them and they could communicate with me.

The saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder, is a true saying. I missed my host family deeply when I had returned to Belgium. I cried over them for quite a while. It's been a long time and I have visited them once. But they are still in my heart.

The strange thing is, I didn't miss my own family while being in the States. So the saying doesn't go both ways for me. And I had the impression they had not missed me either..

Sometimes I wish I had found a solution to remain in the US back then. But on the other hand, I would not have met my husband, nor would I have had my two wonderful girls..

Black cars

I'm deeply in love with my espresso black car. I think it's my own little treasure and I love to drive it.

Most cars I keep for 3 years. My previous car was also black and I think black cars suit me best.

Hubby thought this car would be fun for me to ride, and I think he was right. I love it! Mine came with energetic orange seats and I fell in love right away.

There's not much room for me and the girls, so maybe I won't be able to keep it for 3 years. The girls grow up and the backseat is not very spacious. But since the youngest is going to attend boarding school in September, I won't have both of them in the car at the same time that often. So we'll see.

He does have a mind of its own, my Mr. Colt. Sometimes he's not acting like he should, opening windows when he's not supposed to. Or refusing to close the roof top. But I think at times that is rather neat. It makes me think of Herbie.

So I'm ready to go for a ride. Wanna come along?

I'll be there for you

March 18th, 1995. Our first daughter is born, 3 weeks early..

I didn't want to get married just because I was pregnant. I thought that was the wrong reason. 

I never wanted to get married when I was a teen. But then again, I had not met my husband yet. 

On May 5th 1995, the two of us said our wedding vows. Getting married and saying your wedding vows is not something you do overnight. You think about it. You don't sleep. Your heart pounds. It makes you sick to the stomach and it excites you at the same time. And then you sign that little piece of paper, that makes you husband and wife. And that's it. You are married. Just like that! As if!

Both our parents insisted on a marriage in church, although I'm not a believer and my husband only goes to church to bury someone or celebrate a baptism. We gave in only half way, and the ceremony was over in 10 minutes. The priest blessed our wedding rings in church, without having a religious service. After that glorious moment, we had a great party and invited everyone to a barbecue. 

Marriage is no fairy tale. It's hard work. It takes efforts and sacrifices on a daily basis. But in the end, your other half stands beside you, whenever you need him. 

Every year, hubby asks me what he can get me for our wedding anniversary. He has asked me for 14 years now. And I never know what to tell him. But this year, I have known long in advance. I want him to say: I'll be there for you. Because that's all I expect from him: that he will be there for me..

You are wonderful people

I have known a period in my life, that has been pretty rough and awful. I had no place to live, no money to spend, no nothing. My aunt and uncle always helped me out. They are wonderful people. My aunt would take a long train ride to come see me and take my laundry home to be washed. She would fill my cabinets with food and tins and more groceries. She would help me out financially. She loved me. She cared..

My uncle helped me move out of a very bad situation. He drove all across the country to help me and I will not forget that. 

I had not seen my uncle, aunt and cousins for quite some years, due to family issues. As soon as I had saved enough money, I bought my own car and went to visit them. I was so glad they were back in my life. Every Friday, coming home from college, I stopped at their place, to tell them about my week in school. They were always very happy to see me. And I always felt welcomed..

I don't see them often enough, because they don't exactly live just around the corner, but whenever we visit them or they visit us, we have a wonderful time. My aunt is Lana's godmother and Lana loves her very much. My aunt makes her feel special and loved. And Eva is uncle's favorite. They have the same humor and they get along real well. 

Cuddling with my aunt gives me a good feeling. Whenever I need advice, I turn to my uncle and I trust him. Both of them have their heart in the right spot. I'm glad they have come into my life and I nurture our visits.

Abracadabra

A very long time ago, I played the flute in a local marching band. I must have been about 10 yo back then. Every Friday evening and Sunday morning, I left the house to go play music with the band. Not many people my age there to hang out with, but we got along pretty well. On special occasions, we would go out in the streets to play music. We wore uniforms and mine was way too big. I was a kid and they only had grown up uniforms. So the little hat slipped over my eyes, my sleeves covered most of my hands and my skirt - that was supposed to be just under knee height - hid my ankles. Most of the time, I was too afraid to play my flute. Afraid to make a mistake. So I pretended.

Sometimes the leader of the band asked all flute players to stand up and play. I hated that.. all I wanted to do, was disappear in the ground. How many times did I whisper my Abracadabra, but it never worked..

I stayed in the band from age 8-18, mostly because my parents made me, but also because I loved to play the flute and mine was provided by the band. My sister got her own piano and my brother a set of drums, but my flute was borrowed.. So if I wanted to continue playing, I had to attend the band. By the time I was 21, I had saved enough to buy my own flute and I left the band. I haven't played much since. But at least it's my flute now and I don't need to attend any band if I don't want to.

Our eldest daughter has been playing the flute for 4 years now. She does real well. She's in a band. So every Friday, she meets with her peers and they play great songs. When they have to perform in public, I wonder if she says the magic word.. Abracadabra..

Cut me some slack, will you?

I don't have the thumb strength to text anyone. I'm worn out. My friends call me to hear how I'm doing, but I'm too tired to talk to them. So I don't pick up the phone. It's nothing personal. All I want to do, is chill. I do appreciate them calling me, but it's just been too much the last few months. That's not the fault of my friends and I do miss them. I miss our conversations, I miss our outings and get togethers. 

My nights are too short and so are my days. Do you think, by any chance, I could get some time off from the world? No phone, no people, no nothing. Just my bed..

What would my life be like if I would be working full time? I only work 4 hours a day, 6 days a week. I'm happy that my husband doesn't force me to work full time. Because I know I couldn't.. What's wrong with me? I feel real lazy and I act like a couch potato. Can't seem to get my house work done, have no energy left. I guess I'm running on empty..

Chubby Cheeks

If I check my child hood album - I only have one - I see I have always had chubby cheeks. And I never liked them. People - mostly powdered, elder ladies - used to pinch my cheeks and say: oh, she is so adorable, look at those chubby cheeks! 

Yikes! Like I enjoyed that pinching? Not a single bit!

I still have chubby cheeks. I'm still not very fond of them. But I have no wrinkles. How could there be wrinkles? I'm sure I would get wrinkles if I lost my chubby cheeks. Some people say I have a moon face. I think I have one too. Moon face, chubby cheeks, whatever.. It is what it is.

My youngest daughter has chubby cheeks. I think she looks great. Nobody ever pinches her cheeks or makes any remarks. She's lucky. I don't think her cheeks bother her. They shouldn't, because they make her face pretty.

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman

Most of the times, I'm glad I'm a woman and not a man. On some occasions I would like to be a man though. It must be great to have moments that your head is totally clear and all you have to think about is, what your wife will have cooked for dinner or when your friends will be picking you up to go to the gym. What a luxury. 

My head is never clear. I always have so many things to think about. Is there bread in the house for school lunches? Did I program the oven, so my family will have a home cooked meal while I'm at work? 

Picking up the groceries on the way to work, I have to keep in mind that some shoes need to be repaired, the youngest needs a new swimsuit, thank you notes need to be written for the upcoming party, presents need to be bought for future birthdays. Filling up the car with gas, I remember that once I'm home from work, there's laundry to be washed, a bathroom to be cleaned, housework to be checked. 

Having my dinner is mostly combined with cleaning up after the children or sorting out some more laundry.

But then again, I'm lucky to have a husband that is committed to his family and helps out whenever he can. It doesn't scare him to do the dishes or vacuum the house. Ironing is mainly his chore. And he's really good at it.

I seem to lack the energy I had, before I was diagnosed with diabetes. Just before diagnosis, I worked two jobs and I had the idea that I could conquer anything. I thought nothing could happen to me. I thought my energy would last forever. I know better now..

Craving Carbs

I'm a real carbohydrate person. I love fresh baked bread, pasta, rice, baked potatoes, cookies,..

People need carbs in order to get energy for their muscles. No carbs = no energy. But too many carbs make you lazy and tired. So you need to find a balance.

When you have diabetes, you are supposed to know all about carbs. In the old days, diabetics had to give up on sugar, but nobody told them about carbohydrates. It's not until several years ago that scientists realised that all carbs effect your blood glucose level. Not just sugar.. So they turned our world upside down. There are still many diabetics out there, that don't know about carbs. They still believe what doctors told them 50 years ago. 

People with diabetes can eat anything, if in reasonable amounts, and that is no different than healthy choices anyone should make. I mean, give us a break, will you? Stop telling us what we can/cannot eat, if you don't know about diabetes treatment. 

We can eat anything, but that doesn't mean we do. For example, I do not drink regular soda pop, because I do not want to inject insulin for something that can be easily replaced by something as simple as diet soda pop. And I prefer the taste of diet soda anyway.

Yes, we can eat pie, but I was never fond of pie in the first place. So why would I eat pie now? I do eat pie, if I made it myself :-)

But then.. bread.. I love bread, in all its forms and shapes. Too bad bread spikes my blood sugar and the slow digestion leaves me with a full stomach and high blood sugars for many hours. So I try to cut back on the bread. Most days I don't eat it. But on special occasions, like when we go out for dinner, I will have some bread and then I'm so satisfied.

I love pasta as well, but pasta also spikes my blood sugar, so I tend to eat more sauce than pasta. Lolz. I'm not sad about that.

Don't treat me like I'm dumb. I do know about carbs and what they do to my body. So don't try to persuade me to eat pies and cookies and breads and high carb meals. Because I won't, although I crave carbs..

Backseat surfers

Don't you think it is annoying when people read over your shoulder when you are working on the computer? I hate backseat surfers! They can read whatever I write after I have finished writing, but not while I'm still working on my lines. I compare it to reading the newspaper and having someone comment on every article you read. DUH! 

You are my everything

Dolly Parton is not particularly my favorite singer, but the other night, on my way home from work, I heard this song on the radio and it made me realise how happy I am to have you as my husband.

Maybe I don't tell you often enough, but after 15 years, you are still the man I love and honor. And I wanted you to know that..

You are my inspiration, you are the song I sing

You are what makes me happy, you are my everything

You are my daily sunshine, you are my evening star

Everything I'll ever need or want, that's what you are..

Talking in your sleep

As a teenager, I used to talk in my sleep, according to my mother. Sometimes, she knew things about me she wasn't supposed to know. I always tried to figure out how she found out! She always said: you talk in your sleep!

Coming back from the US, where I worked as an au pair, I cleaned up my room so it could be more of an adult room than a messy teenager bedroom. Under my bed, I found my little metal locker, that my mother gave me after my brother distributed copies of my diary to all of his friends. At the time, I was devastated when I found out and ran home, all teared up. My mother said that was not done! and she bought me a metal locker and a brand new diary. I felt safe again. I gathered all my private belongings and kept them in the locker. 

It was not until I came back from the States, that I finally found out how my mother knew all about me. I was looking for my school diplomas in her bedroom and I came across an envelope in her drawer. It contained a key.. it looked pretty familiar to me. It was the spare key of my "private" locker.. 

So don't tell me I talk in my sleep.