Friday, September 4, 2009

Do you love me for who I am?

There's a lot going on in my life right away. Things have been pretty hectic around here. I'm pretty sure things will go back to normal once the kids have been going back to school for some time. It's so hard to find some time for myself right now. I have the feeling I'm being pulled at and people blame me for not making time for them.. I hardly have time for myself and I do not want to be torn. I try to schedule my time the best I can. Having a family with children is a full time job. Having a wonderful social life is a full time job. Making time for yourself is luxury. I would really like to have that luxury once in a while. Maybe I should schedule a luxurious, selfish me-day in the near future. I know I cannot give my full attention to a person when my head is full of chores that need to be done or places I have to go to. Over the years, I have noticed that it's becoming harder for me to divide my attention amongst several things or people at the same time. Or maybe I take more value to quality time than quantity time? I feel obliged to give individual attention to people whenever I spend time with them. Meaning I do not pick up the phone when I'm with someone else or I take my time whenever I arrange a date with a friend. It's not very respectful towards the other if you continually pick up your phone to talk to someone else. I hate it when people do that to me. It's like you're not important enough to that person at the time. Do you ever talk to a friend or a relative on the phone, that constantly interrupts you by saying: hold on, someone else is trying to reach me, or I'll call you back, there's someone at the door, or just a minute, I need to do this or that. I have no time for phone calls of that manner. How do they call it? Time management? So much time is lost when you have phone conversations like that. That's why I call less and email more. Sending an email on your own time or receiving email whenever you have time to read it.. That's my cup of tea.

Do I have to give up on my principles in order to be loved by my friends? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. It's taken me a long run to find out for myself what is important to me and I'm not prepared to give that up again that easily. If one cannot accept that I cannot always be available and that sometimes I have no time for them or I can't see them for some time.. bad luck. I do the best I can. Don't expect any more.


2 comments:

Upje said...

Maar kieken toch ... Iederéén heeft toch recht op regelmatig eens niet bereikbaar zijn? Dus ook jij. En als je zo'n druk leven hebt dat je daar dan ook echt tijd voor moet gaan reservéren, so be it. Dan moet je dat echt doen. Maar misschien is het nog beter om elke dag - al was het maar een half uur of een uur - daarvoor uit te trekken? En dan mag die hele dag nog altijd, hé.

Het is erg vermoeiend om er altijd te zijn, voor eender wie of wat. Maar da's ook echt niet nodig ...

Big hug,

www.kokenenhogehakken.blogspot.be said...

Het is inderdaad heel erg vermoeiend Upje, vooral als je op weinig begrip kan rekenen...