Something has changed within me

That's what you must have thought, when you asked your daddy if he could help you repaint your room. You wanted a fresh start, a new slate to write on. Both of you have been working for a whole week, meaning you had to get up early in the morning. That's a big issue for you, since you hate getting up early. But you did, without moaning or complaining. No time to fuss around in the bathroom or blow dry your hair, because your daddy was waiting for you to sand the walls. It was a good thing, the interaction between you and your father. Quality time with a good ending, because that room deserves some credit now! It's completely what you wanted. All white and clean and spotless. I'm sure you will enjoy your room a whole lot more now. It will bring you positive thoughts and happy moments.

Your daddy is a good lad. I can no longer count the number of times he went up those stairs all the way to the attic, bringing in paint and brushes and helping you make those walls white. I know how much he wanted to spend some time outside in the sun, to celebrate his holidays. But he loves you and he found it as important to give you the room you wanted.

Enjoy this fresh start cutie. I saw your eyes shine today. But your boyfriend coming over today, will probably have helped as well..

Daddy's girls

They lay down on the couch, their eyes closing every now and then, to continue their dreams of chasing cats and bunnies. It's still very quiet around the house. The sunbeams peek through the windows and I have turned down the volume of the radio, for I don't want to disturb the silence of this Sunday morning. Right above my head, I hear him stumble out of bed. Inthe has heard something too, for she's pointing one ear and her eyes are open wide. Could it be? Is it time to get up? O yes! I can hear daddy flush the toilet before he comes down the stairs. Backwards, of course, just the way his mom taught him as a child. Some of the steps are creaking but that's part of the charm of a one century old house. By the time dad is down the hallway, both dogs are waiting for him by the door. They are all excited, to be seen by the wagging of their tail. He has a hard time coming inside, because they are blocking the doorway. Daddy's here! Daddy's here! How lovely!

While I make coffee, Daddy scratches his hair and yawns away the sleep. He rubs his eyes and touches his beard, to see if he needs a shave. Both dogs are sitting beside him at the kitchen table. They are like statues, so quiet. Their gaze is focused on one person: Daddy.. He tells them he wants to have his yogurt and cereal breakfast before the walk. So they wait a bit longer. Once he gets up and puts on his clothes, Inthe becomes his very own shadow. She won't loose track of him now. Rebba is more chill about it. So she strolls back to the couch, throws out the pillows I just rearranged, scratches the cushions and then finds a better spot on the other side. Her head is pointed towards the kitchen though and her ears are turning constantly. Daddy is looking for his shoes and when he opens the door to get the leashes, Inthe is loosing her marbles. She sticks to his leg and follows him all around. As a joke, he walks around the table and she is right there, beside him.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Inthe puts her legs right on his shoulders and licks his ears and nose. Her tail is even more excited and can't stop wagging. Rebba is trying to look the most uninterested as possible. She's a bit different, you know. She needs her own special invitation. Daddy walks towards Rebba and asks her in a soft voice: "Wanna go for a walk, Rebba?". "Who? Me? Really? Are you kidding me? Of course!". That's when Rebba finally gets of the couch to put on her leash. Both dogs look at me like if they want to say: aren't you coming, mom?

The house is quiet again. The dogs are enjoying their walk. They are marking their territory as often as they can, before Daddy frees them from their leashes. They can run their lungs out at the soccer field, playing fetch and chasing each other. Daddy gets to pick up the poop and trash the purple bags somewhere along the line. The girls are so different and yet so much alike. Almost like our two daughters, I guess. The oldest dog has Daddy's last name, while Inthe is carrying my last name. Just like Lana looks after her father and Eva is mommy's girl. People may have the same features as their pets. Sometimes the children do too..

Maintenant je sais

For over one year now, I have had the opportunity to come to your house and spend time with you. You have grown taller and our bond has become stronger. You know when I'm with you. Although you are not able to tell me, I feel that you enjoy my presence. The way you tuck your head into my neck when we cuddle up on the couch, gives me such a warm feeling. I can honestly say that you are a very special girl and you have your own ways to let people know that you care about them.

When I applied for this job, your parents told me about the epileptic seizures. That they may occur every now and then and that I shouldn't be afraid. That it's best not to hold you while having an episode, but to put you into your chair or to lay you down on your changing table. It is important that I talk to you and comfort you and let you know that you are having a seizure. You must hear that it will be over soon and that you'll feel better afterwards.

No more than week ago, I asked myself why you had not had seizures in my presence during that year. Did you want to protect me? Did you think I was not ready to witness one?
Last Saturday, I was saying goodbye to you and your daddy, when all of a sudden, your eyes rolled back and your limbs started to tremble. Your daddy held your hand and struck your arms. He talked to you in a very calm voice and told me that you were having a seizure. I held your other hand and we both remained calm and spoke to you in a soft voice. It didn't take much longer than one minute before you came back and I was relieved to hear your laughter. You were euphoric that the seizure was over. You laughed out loud and you waved your arms and legs in an attempt to let us know you were okay.

I'm glad your dad was there. It was the first time I had witnessed an epileptic episode. I'm okay with it. My blood sugar dropped instantly but I knew that was going to happen. I knew you were okay and that was the most important...

I am flashing back

Can I have a Vespa?

     Are you out of your mind? No way! Don't even go there!

Why can't I have a Vespa?

     Because Vespas are dangerous. Because you are only 16! Because I say so. Because there are one  thousand reasons why you can't have a Vespa!

What if I buy my own Vespa?

     You are not going to. Forget about it. Not in one million years.

I can't recall the exact conversation, but it must have been something like this. I was really upset during that conversation. I knew in advance I was not going to win the battle, but at least I could try. I did ask the question and the answer was no, just like I had expected. I remember the disappointment. I remember the tears. And I remember the disapproval of my parents. Why did I even bother to ask, if I knew the answer was going to be a firm NO anyway? Why were they so opposed to me getting a Vespa? Was it really for the reasons they gave me? Or didn't they want me to grow up and get independent?
I remember I didn't ask a second time. That was not done where I grew up. If your parents gave you a clear NO for an answer, you didn't ask twice. You didn't even dare to ask again, because that would only make things worse..

Our youngest one has asked us the same question. Excuse me, not the same. She doesn't want a Vespa. She wants a Honda Dax. I understand her longing for independence. I recognize the feeling of wanting to grow up and doing whatever you want to do. She wants to go out. She wants to feel free. Her dad is ready to give in. He had a motorcycle when he was her age. I didn't. I wanted one, like I described a couple of minutes ago. I never got one. I got myself a car though. I worked on the week-ends and during the holidays, so I could save money to buy my own car. At the age of 18, you are pigeonholed in the ADULT category and you get to decide what you want to spend your money on. I try to reason with Eva. I want to convince her to get a job first and save money in her bank account. It's not just the money for the purchase of the Dax. It's a whole lot more...

She will need a place to park her treasure. She will need money for insurance and gas and maintenance and a helmet (a good, decent one, to make sure her brain doesn't get all mushy in case she .. aaarrgghhhh I don't even want to go there!). She's not being reasonable about it. She is angry and disappointed and frustrated with me. I'm sure at this stage, she hates me. I know she wanted this Dax for her 16th birthday. She got a one year membership on her favorite fashion magazine. It's less dangerous and it was something else on her wish list.. That her boyfriend rides a Honda Dax, isn't helping much either....

The discussion is not closed yet. We're not done. There is room for discussion. It doesn't have to be a battle. I don't like this wrangling. I hate it as much as she does. I just want her to think about it. To consider my objections and to find answers for the questions I have asked. I want her to start saving money to buy her little treasure. If only she would make an effort.. then we can talk again, in some time.

Kiss me goodbye

This morning, around 5:20 AM, our car was packed with suitcases and bags. Three beautiful young ladies were sitting in the backseat, very quiet and somehow sad. Hubby and I were in front, trying to hold back the tears. I turned off the radio, for the music didn't seem to be appropriate. Only 15 more minutes, before we had to say goodbye to our new member of the family.. Ilaria is going home. She has been living with our family for 3 months, as an exchange student. Coming from Bari, the Southern part of Italy, Ilaria had a hard time coping with our cold season and chilly evenings. Going to school in a very different setting, she couldn't understand why she couldn't use her cell phone during school hours or chew gum in the class. The rules were pretty stupid, in her opinion. Back then, she could've decided to go home and rejoin her own class and continue her life. But she didn't.. She hung in and talked to us about her concerns and questions. We are glad she persevered.

The taxi was waiting for us at the school gate. Gianmario, the Italian friend who came to Belgium with Ilaria, was standing on the curb, tears in his eyes. Even this young man had mixed feelings about going home. After all, having spent 3 months in a Belgian home is an experience. On one hand you want to go home and see your family and friends. On the other hand, you have to leave your new family and friends behind, not knowing if you will ever see them again.. The taxi driver was emotional too, I could tell. But then again, he was not just a taxi driver. This young man had become very friendly with these Italian youngsters. He even came to visit Ila for a last time yesterday afternoon..

Yesterday was a very strange day. So many things we wanted to say, so many stories left to share. We knew this relation would not just stop here. There is Skype and Italy is not the end of the world. I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind visiting her and her loved ones. We have a lot of memories, many thoughts to make our faces smile. I'm sure we will all have to get used to being by ourselves again. That one bedroom looks so empty now and there is no fifth chair at the kitchen table. Tonight around 9:30 PM, nobody will come down the stairs and ask: Can I take a "douchan"?

We will miss you, Ilaria Landriscina.. You are a wonderful girl and we enjoyed your company. You will make more rides with Daddy Cars in the future and your Belgian sisters are looking forward to going out with you in Bari. I'm not to sure about the piercing you promised Eva though... Hahaha... we'll see. Rebba, Inthe and Arthurio are looking for you and they can't find you. Inthe was on the sofa wearing your "muts". I think I will listen to Gente di Mare and dream of a visit to your beautiful home..

Slow motion

Last night, I was on the phone with a friend. She used to have a fulltime job. I say "used to", because she quit the job to have more quality time with her family and do things that are more important to her. She wants to be independent instead of working for a boss. She asked if I remembered our conversation on working moms and stay-at-home moms. I did.. During that conversation I told her that my life is so hectic and full of activities although I only "work" 10 hours a week. She always thought I had plenty of Me Time to spend. NOT! Now she's a stay-at-home mom too, she understands. She thinks it's because we are not rushed to do anything, because there's no deadline. I don't agree.. My life is not passing by in slow motion, on the contrary. I make to do lists, just like if I would be at work. Things need to be done. There's cleaning to do, laundry to be washed, groceries to be done and meals to be cooked. The kids need a driver (we have 3 kids now), they need help with homework (I forward their questions to their dad... I admit). At the end of the day, I'm glad I can take a seat and relax a bit. Who says stay-at-home moms don't work? We don't have someone who picks up the clutter while we are at work. There's nobody to cook our meals by the time we come home. The gardener leaves the work up to my husband and we don't pay a dogsitter to walk the dogs. But you know what? I like it this way. I'm a stay-at-home mom and I'm proud of it.

Dive in!

Photo Eva Joos

You and your daddy are going to spend some special time together. As a teen, your father used to swim a lot. It gave him his broad and strong shoulders and a straight back. And of course the V-shape all men want to have.

For a couple of years, you were in a swimteam too. And you were pretty good at it! I loved to watch you swim. The way your head disappeared in the water and how you gasped for air, your head turned to the left. You were a fast swimmer and your teacher was proud of you. He was that fond of you, that he wanted you in his team of competitors. When he asked you to join that team, you were in doubt. On one hand, you were proud that he asked you. On the other hand, you're not a competitive girl. Your teacher didn't give you much options: you join the team or you quit swimming.. What a bummer.. Joining the team meant you would have to practice 5 days a week, sometimes even before school started. You decided not to join the team. Practice would be too tough. You always regretted getting out of the team, but there was no other choice at the time.

When your daddy read about Start to Swim, he knew you would love to join him. Your eyes sparkled and you said yes right away. It's too bad you have no friends who love to swim like you do. But your daddy will be your friend and the two of you will do real well together. Enjoy!

Good old fashion fun

It's great to have friends over. So I didn't mind the message you sent me: "Mom, is it okay if both my girlfriends stay over tonight? They would bring their tent and we would sleep in the backyard.
P.S. They would love to try out your cooking skills!"

I had to hurry up and get the preps done for dinner. I had something in mind, but as usual my plans changed just a little bit. Adding more and more side dishes to the original plan, I had some more errands to run. Your friends took the bus over to our place and the three of you were so happy to see each other. It had been a while, I must say. There was summer camp for you and then your friends went abroad with their parents. It won't be too long before school starts and both your friends will take different subjects. It's a shame they will no longer be in your class, but that doesn't mean you can no longer be friends.

I loved the smile on all of those faces and the chitchatting in the house. Daddy had to help out with the tent, but he shouldn't have. It started to rain and you stayed in your room. One of the girls fell asleep right away, for she had slept no more than 2 hours the night before, coming home from France. But you and your other friend couldn't stop chatting. I heard it was 4:30 AM before your heads touched your pillows.. zzzzzz

Please don't cry

What age is a fitted age to look after someone else's children? I'm not sure. Remembering my first babysitting years, there were different children I used to look after. Some were toddlers, others were teens. The first night I looked after someone's child, I was only 13 myself. The parents had asked if I had done this before. I nodded - and I lied.. for I had never looked after anyone.. The child was not even a child. It was a 2 month old baby. So tiny, so fragile. It was endearing to hold this little creature and cuddle it. It felt a bit awkward to be in someone else's house and hear all of those different sounds. But I sat myself down on the couch with this little cutie and I enjoyed "motherhood". The fun didn't last long though. Little baby woke up and started to cry. First a soft sound, a bearable sound that I could hush down. When the crying started to go up, I stood up, held the baby against my shoulder and walked around a bit, not knowing why it was crying. Was it discomfort? Did it feel ill? Was the baby longing for its mommy? I didn't know and the idea that the baby couldn't tell me about its grief, scared me. A bottle of milk was sitting on the counter, but I had no idea how to warm it up or how to feed a baby.. I tried to heat the bottle on the stove, in a pan of water. I tasted the milk and it was too hot, so the baby had to wait just a little longer. How would I know you had to hold the bottle up high for the milk to flow out?? The baby went ballistic for the milk didn't come out of the bottle nipple. I started to cry along and was in total despair, for not being able to comfort nor feed this child that was trusted to me. So I called my mom and she came over and showed me how to...

You have been looking after these 4 children for a while now. You're only 15 and the family lives only a few steps away from our house. Little Marie is only 5 months old and she's the cutest baby ever. Well, that's what you keep on saying. She was a little less cute the night she woke up and screamed her lungs out for half an hour. You panicked for Marie woke up her brother Cyriel and all of a sudden you had to take care of a baby in tears and a toddler who wanted his mommy. If only mommy had taken her cell phone along, but it was ringing in the kitchen when you tried to call her in despair. Luckily daddy had his cell phone on him, but how unfortunate that he didn't hear it ring.. You had no idea why Marie was crying so loud. She had been fed and her diaper didn't need to be changed. For 1.5 hours she had been sleeping and all of a sudden she woke up, stretching and kicking her legs like crazy. There was not much you could do to comfort her or make her feel at ease. She didn't want her pacifier either. That's when I got your phone call. You were crying along with the baby and I recognized the despair. So I hopped into my clothes and came to help you. The front door was open by the time I got there and you were more than ready to hand over this cute little girl. Her little face was red and in tears and so was yours. I calmed you down and held the baby, but she was inconsolable. I checked her diaper and her temperature. She was not having a fever but the way she was kicking her legs and making fists, made me assume she was having stomach ache. You told me she had had meds after her bottle, for she has cramps every now and then. We tried to give her some water to drink, for she was exhausted by then. She drank but it was not enough to calm her down. After another 15 minutes I decided to give her some pain relief. You were comforting Cyriel in the other couch who was crying for his mommy. You were very unhappy with the whole situation and I had a hard time calming you down as well. When I started to hum rock-a-bye-baby, Marie seemed to relax a little. I hummed this lullaby at least 30 times in a row, rocking her back and forth in my arms, holding her pacifier and streaking her eyes with her favorite cuddle. Her medication started to work as well and finally she fell asleep. Not for long, because we heard the car park in front of the house. Cyriel woke up as soon as he heard his parents come home. Little Marie opened her eyes and was more than happy to see her daddy. What a night... I hope it didn't scare you in that manner that you would be afraid to go back another time. You did what you had to do. Children cry you know. They are not always happy and cheerful. And sometimes you need help. That's okay sweetheart. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you!

I won't let you down

Photo Eva Joos

Photo Lana Joos

This is probably what you thought when daughter 1 and daughter 2 came into this world: I won't let you down..

Raising children is never easy. Raising daughters is a true challenge. I assume these two girls are the most precious gift on the planet to you. We never expected to have children that early in our relationship, but they are a true gift. They chose to come live with us and we never regretted that. It's a blessing to parent these two.

Today is Father's Day. A day to celebrate and honor the father of my daughters. You will be pampered and surprised and you won't have to work at all. We'll make you breakfast and feed you dinner and in the afternoon, we will celebrate your own father and have cake.

Happy Father's Day! The girls are lucky to have you as their daddy. You are the best dad they could ever wish for.

A roof over your head

I'm so proud of you! Last night, you invited me to a picnic in your backyard. That is, your future back yard, behind the house you and your husband are building. The sun was out till late that night and your husband had improvised a table for us to sit at. I guess sitting on a picnic blanket was not really possible, but we did enjoy the food. There were side dishes and even dessert. And of course good conversations. We have a lot of fun together but at the same time, we can discuss serious stuff too. Building your own house is not a piece of cake. It's hard work and sticking to the budget is a true challenge. But the two of you will get there. And one day, your baby son will say: my daddy helped the contractor build our house..

Photo Lana Joos

That same little boy will be coming over today. I have the honor to look after him for a couple of hours. He's such a cutie! I love his personality. Always full of mischief but not in a bad way. He's just vivid and active and pleasant to be around. I'm sure we'll have fun together. The girls haven't seen him for a long time. He's very welcome here and we love him.

I had the time of my life

That's what you said when you came home around midnight. Your eyes were sparkling and you were all excited about your night out with your best friend. I still can't believe we let you go to Brussels, to see your favorite band Bombay Bicycle Club at the Botanique. Just 15 years old, on a week night, in Brussels, two young girls... The two of you, dressed up to the nines, took the train to Central Station - Brussels. It freaked me out just thinking about it. But I must try to let go and give you the chance to grow up. I still find it very young though but you did a great job at convincing your daddy to get permission for this night out. You are a smart girl..

I'm glad you made it to the concert and you truly enjoyed it. It will be a night to remember. I was comforted by the fact that your dad picked you and your friend up after work, so you didn't have to roam around town to get back to the railway station at night. I can imagine the bubbly conversations in the car on the way home..

Not today, not just yet..

Photo by Lana Joos

As soon as Dad gets dressed, you point your ears, hop off the couch and follow him around like a shadow. It's like you make the link between Dad getting dressed and going for a walk. He sometimes tries to fool you, by walking around the dining table in circles. You follow him, your nose close to his leg. He starts to go a little faster and you speed up too. Even running around the table doesn't make you give up. But when Dad turns around and runs in the opposite direction, you fool him! You didn't turn around. You just stayed put and waited for him to approach you..

Photo by Lana Joos

He had to let you down though. Too much rain. Not a pleasant day to go for a walk. At least not for humans. To you, rain is party time! You love to race around the fields on rainy days. You are probably not a real whippet though.. Most whippets prefer to stay inside when it's pouring out there. They prefer a duvet day over a brisk walk in the rain. But not you! So you cry and give Dad your saddest puppy look.. until he gives in. You are as happy as a hound can be and you warn Rebba, who is still not prepared to move one bit. She hides under her blanket and pretends not to be there. Until Dad is ready to go. Rebba does not want to be left behind, so she races to the hallway, lets us put on her leash and defies the bad weather.. I guess Inthe won the bet: Dad gave in..

She wants her daddy

I know she's a D.O.G. but nevertheless, we are her mommy and daddy. She doesn't know any better. Inthe is a real drama queen when she misses her daddy. She then sits on the couch, her head all stretched out towards the window. Every now and then, I can hear her sigh. Her eyes are all droopy and she's looking depressed. I then ask her: do you want your daddy to come home? She holds her head to one side and points her ears. Like to make sure she heard me alright. So I ask her again and Inthe holds her head to the other side. That's the signal I have to look out for. Because that's the moment she will race towards me, lick me in the face and put her paws on my shoulders to give me a hug. She really misses him when he's at work. She looks forward to his home coming. And then: joy oh joy. Her memory is so short, she must actually believe he was gone for at least a week. She's a bit silly, you know. But I must admit: it's cute.

Chop chop!

Hurry up! Move it! Jallah jallah!

I'm sure you recognize some of these lines to say the least. How often have we heard these sentences while growing up?
Kids can no longer be kids these days. Always in a hurry. Always stressing out. They leave their house as babies in their pajamas to be dropped off at daycare. Their teeny baby friends are awaiting them to spend the day together, while mom and dad race off to give their best shot at work. Later that day, towards the evening hours, the same movie is being played but in the opposite direction. Babies need to be picked up to hurry home, where their bottle is ready to be heated. A nice warm but quick bath helps the child relax before it is being put down to sleep. The parents are getting ready to do their household chores, while the little one holds its blanky and pacifier, its eye lids getting heavier and heavier, until baby is ready to doze off. Mom and dad fall down in their chairs, using their last energy to discuss their day and organize the agenda of the upcoming week.

Nowadays parents have a tough life. Although they no longer raise a household of 10 children, there's so much more pressure. Both parents need to work fulltime if they want to keep up with the Joneses. They need to make so many sacrifices if they want to keep those two cars, a yearly vacation abroad, dinner parties with friends, membership cards to the gym, .. I hear my friends complain about burn-outs, bore-outs, difficult children, terrible bosses and envious colleagues. They are not happy with the situation. They feel like they don't perform their best at work, because their heart is with their offspring. But is the solution to keep moms home with the kids again? Probably not.. It has been such a struggle for women to get education and decent jobs. They have every right to have a good job and feel the fulfillment and appreciation you feel as an employee. Not all women are fitted to live their lives as stay at home moms. They are of no use to their children if they are unhappy without an outdoor job and a salary that makes life more convenient.

Why is there no option for women to raise their children as a paid, fulltime job? Daycare centers keep waiting lists - you need to make reservations on that list by the time you get pregnant, to make sure your child-to-be will be in good hands once you go back to work. How stressful is that? Would women prefer to raise their kids themselves if they were paid to stay home? Or would they miss the grown-up contact?
What do you think? What would you do?

What's best for the child? I don't know. All children are different. Some children need more attention and affection than other children. Some parents prefer to spend quality time with their kids over quantity time. Happy parents make happy children. So whatever will be your choice, make sure it's a choice well considered and not an obligation. And remember: you always have the chance to think things over. Even parents are allowed to make mistakes..

La rivière du temps qui passe

Children grow up way too fast. Before you'll get the chance to realize it, the fingerprints on the wallpaper will have faded. You will ask yourself: when did they get to grow so tall?

Nobody is entitled to have children. Children are a gift and they should be treated likewise. Children are the most precious gift ever and they deserve respect. We are fortunate to have been blessed with two daughters. Not one day goes by, without being thankful for the joy they bring into our lives. I cherish my girls for who they are. They don't have to be someone I want them to be. Being who they are, is plenty.
Does that mean I put my girls on a pedestal? Not at all. I'm pretty realistic. Own child proper child is not a saying I support. I'm more than willing to support them and stand by their side, but that doesn't mean they can do whatever they please. I will always love them, no matter what.

Sometimes it's scary to see how much they resemble their parents. I see parts of me and parts of their daddy in each one. After all, they are a mix of both parents and that's an interesting fact. Maybe we wish some of our characteristics were not passed on to our children. We may recognize parts of their personality that are very confrontational. Should we hold that against them? Absolutely not! They are who they are and that's the best they can be. I can't grasp why some parents despise their children. How can you not love your own flesh and blood? That will remain a mystery to me, I suppose..

Love your children and let them know they will always be loved, no matter what. Children are vulnerable and they are like sponges, absorbing so much information. If that information is not stimulating but negative, it will take many years to get over it. Words can be so powerful.. to a much bigger extend than we can ever grasp. Words can hurt so much and leave deep wounds..
Even after a divorce, children need to know how much both their parents love them, despite the fact that the parents are no longer in love. The love for a child is different from the love for a spouse. The love for your children is unconditional, they say. At least, that's what it should be. I can't imagine letting my children down to the fact that they would not want to see me anymore. After all, we are the adults and we should swallow our pride and let our kids know, that parents too, make mistakes. Nothing's wrong with letting your children know, you haven't been fair to them and you would like to make up. Don't break the bond between you and your children. Don't let anything come between that bond.. you won't regret it.. because children love their parents eternally and unconditionally, no matter what.. Sometimes they are more of a hero than we will ever be..

Family dinner

Friday evening is the first evening in the week when we have the chance to eat dinner together as a family. That is if Hubby is not working the late shift. Since Eva is in boarding school during the week, there's always one person missing at the dining table. That's why we really put an effort in getting everyone together on weekends. I truly enjoy the time together around diner or lunch. It's the perfect time to talk things over. The children talk about what happened in the last week, jokes are being told and we enjoy memories of previous adventures.
Weekends give me the opportunity to add that little extra zing to the meals we have together. I make sure everyone is pleased with the meals they are being served. I know what everybody likes to eat and seeing the kids enjoy their food is a true joy.
I'm so happy the girls are still at an age they enjoy being home and have our meals together. They appreciate that quality time as much as we do. I hate to eat all by myself and I always look forward to having people around the table.
So let's think about our next Friday meal!

Have a great time!

My kids have many friends. They like to go out and have fun with their mates. Friendship is important. Sleepovers, outings, shopping days, going to the pool together, just chatting on the Internet. It is important to them and it makes them grow. I'm happy they socialize well and I always encourage them to take good care of their friends.

So if either one of the girls ask whether they can spend some time with their friends, Hubby and I let them. We do want to know their where abouts, but we wish them a good time. I'm sure they don't tell everything, they are teens after all, but that's okay. They know their and our boundaries. And so far: they are doing great. I enjoy their happiness and the friends they have made..

Feel funky, feel good!

Another year passed by. Some things have changed in the past year. You have reset your boundaries by giving me two whippets. I know you were not fond of the breed at first, but you are their number one fan now!
You have also been promoted at work and that was well deserved. You're doing great and I'm proud of you!
And last but not least: you quit smoking! I think that's the best reward you could give yourself. The girls and I are so happy you finally gave up. It will improve your health and lengthen your life. Good on you!

This Sunday, your family will be ready to celebrate your birthday with plenty of cake and presents. Let's hope you'll be back from work in time to help us clear the cake plates!

Happy Birthday Hubby!

Mr Mom

What if men would stay home to take care of the household and the kids? For centuries, men brought home the bacon. They provided for their family by working long hours. Times have changed though. Many women have chosen their careers and refuse to stay at home any longer. They want to live a different life than the life of our grandmothers. They wish to have colleagues. They look forward to having money of their own. That money gives them joy, pride and strength. It makes them more independent.

I imagine it's not always easy for men, to have their wives go to work as well. They feel kinda lost, now that they are no longer the only breadwinner. They had to step down from their pedestal and reprogram themselves.

If both partners have outdoor jobs, some things need to be changed around the house. Someone has to take care of the children and no elves will come and do the housework. Solutions have to be found, to prevent the wife from feeling guilty over having a job. This sometimes lead to the man giving up his job or starting to work parttime. Some men even decide to be Mr Mom for a while. We're not used to that concept yet, but hey, why not? Maybe they would even be good at it. Men are good at making checklists, aren't they? I bet they could be wonderful at running the household, if it weren't for the neighbors or relatives to make fun of them. Because after all: what's wrong with being a Mr or Mrs Mom? It is more than a fulltime job and it can be as fulfilling as any other "paid" job. For now though, I'm very fine with my husband working outdoors and me being Mrs Mom..