Then there was nothing but silence..

They were sitting at the table, facing each other. The television was playing loud, showing a cycling event, and I could hear the comments of the reporters, making jokes and keeping a good eye on the cyclists at the same time.

They were quiet, having their prespread sandwiches. She got up from the table, shambled towards the bathroom, her bowl of soup in her hands. I sat on the bed and watched her manners. She would empty the bowl in the toilet, flush and come back to the table, to finish her early dinner. They sat there, in complete silence. He was looking at me, winking and I could see the corner of his mouth curl up. He continued to take little bites from his sandwich. I asked them what cold cuts they had been given. They had no idea. They forgot, I guess. They were not interested either. He said he preferred making his own sandwiches at a time that was more appropriate to be called dinner time.

A friendly lady walked into the room. She was in a hurry, I could tell. "Are you finished," she asked, while she was clearing the table. Maybe the answer was not important to her, since she didn't await the answer. Dinner was over. Time to take that handkerchief and wipe their mouths. She shuffled back to the bathroom to flush the toilet again. I asked why she got rid of the soup. She said she hated soup. She did like buttermilk porridge though.. I urged her to talk to the head nurse, to see if she could have porridge instead of soup. She gave me that special look, that needed no further explanation. I dropped the subject..

He was still sitting at the table, picking up little crumbs that were left on his placemat. He gathered as many as he could, to pile them up in one corner. She sat down again, waiting for the evening to come. Pretty soon, one of the nurses would come in to help them get into their jammies. It was only 5:00 PM. There wasn't much to say. It was not an unpleasant silence though. They didn't need words to understand one another. They had been together for so many years, they knew what the other was thinking. They looked outside the window, to see nothing but a dull wall and a garbage bin. I kissed them on the cheeks. I rubbed their back and wiped away a tear that had been stinging in the corner of my eye. I left their room, thankful for the love they felt for each other. Thankful, that at least they were together. Things could've been worse. They could have spent their days in a room with a total stranger, in a totally different kind of silence. Their silence was comforting. It was not to be dreaded..

I still miss you.. I miss your wisdom, your strength, your ability to be without speech.

Born again

Sometimes in life, we do things or make choices we later regret. No matter what led us to making that choice, we should hold ourselves responsible. There may be circumstances where one could say: I honestly believe you had such a rough time that you saw no other way than to do what you did. Of course there where other solutions, but you were either not ready to see them or you chose to pursue the only way you knew. It takes courage to change your ways and perseverance to go on. Giving up will most certainly have been a possibility that crossed your mind. Something or someone must have given you the strength to give up your addiction and start all over. With a family of 5 children, things needed to change. You were about to loose your job over your addiction and that would've been a total disaster. Your children have only known you as a father that was never present. They missed a dad, being there for them. They remember you as being away or claiming the couch because the alcohol had made you sleepy. The day you gave up drinking, your children were no longer children. They already had a life of their own. Have you set an example to your children? Did you ever talk to them about what an addiction means to your family? It's been 21 years now, since you have sobered up. I met you 19 years ago and I've never seen the drunk man you were before. Every Monday, you meet with your fellow friends to talk about your addiction. I don't know all of the steps in the plan, but is there a step that teaches you how to talk about your addiction with your family? Are you never afraid one of your children will become an addict as well? I know it scares me.. They say kids mimic their parents. If you grow up with a parent who thought drinking is a normal way of life, does that make you more vulnerable to getting an addiction yourself? Is the drinking a way of dealing with problems and emotions? How do you deal with issues if the only way you know, is loosing yourself in alcohol..

I'm happy you have been sober for 21 years. It gave you a different life. You have been given a second chance to be born again. I hope you are happy with the choices you have made. It was to the benefit of your family. Has it been beneficial to you too?

Should I have said something?

Let's assume your parents occasionally have a drink when they go out. A glass of wine at the dinner table or a refreshing beer on a hot day, a glass of champagne to celebrate a special occasion. Sounds acceptable, right? Not one person would say this is socially not acceptable, since the drinking habit is within limits.
Let's assume your parents have a drink or two when they go out. They have a drink at home, before they go out, because it sets the mood right. They treat their friends on shots at the pub and they think soda pop is for teens. How about a glass of wine with every meal and a shot of whiskey to round the day? Maybe a small glass of port around 11 AM, just for the fun of it? Half a crate of beer at a family party, just to show off and let their friends know how tough they are? What if they let you, at the age of 12, sip their drink, to see if you like the taste? Is that acceptable?

I wonder if there is a connection between the attitude towards alcohol and the chances you start to abuse alcohol, if you were introduced to alcohol at an early age. If you grow up under the assumption that alcohol can be used on a daily basis and as a part of a healthy, normal life, would you consider that strange? Would you question your parents about it? Maybe you don't know any better, since you trust your parents to raise you in the best possible way. They want you to become an independent individual with a mind of your own. To them, alcohol is part of that life and considered normal and acceptable. So you grow up and live your life and just like your parents, there is always an occasion to drink: a celebration, not feeling well, a rough day at work, one more glass left in a bottle you wanted to throw out, sad moments, happy moments, social drinking, getting promoted, 11 AM shots (as long as you don't drink before 11 AM, it's normal, right?). The alcohol makes you happy. That's what you experienced as a child. You saw your parents laugh and have a good time while having a couple of drinks. Easy, right? They would open a bottle of comforter to help getting rid of grief. There was no shoulder to cry on, because there was a cabinet filled with bottles to choose from.. A different drink for every emotion.

Are parents the role model in drinking behavior? How do you teach your children about moderation and the danger of addictions? How come 14 year olds are binge drinking without anybody stepping in? What's your role in educating your kids alcohol is a drug too?

I'm sure there are plenty of excuses: it's genetic, it helps me relax, it takes away my sorrows and I'm much more happy and cheerful if I have a few drinks. Does anybody tell them about the aftermath? Do they realize problems don't disappear but only get bigger? Do they discuss hangovers in a serious conversation or is it cool to tell others how much you have been drinking? What is the role of the parents? Is it necessary to step in and set the example?

Does this sound count as annoying?

Back in the '80s, we were in the midst of renovating our house. Because of all the dust and the work going on, we temporarily moved in with our grandparents for a couple of months. They lived in a different town but not that far off. My grandparents were really funny people. They loved to laugh and we had a wonderful time staying there. It must have been around the summer that we were hosted in their house, because I remember the jingle of the ice cream truck. Most of the time, my siblings and I were playing outside. Their was a rectangular grass field not far from the house. A small chapel was on one of the sides and we used to play ball there. As soon as we heard the ice cream truck, we would race back to grannies house and beg for some change. She would always give us the money to buy ice cream. We would pick a corn with one or two flavors of ice cream. Grandma would pick an ice cream sandwich, 3 flavors in one: vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. When I think of it, I can still see her lick the sides, her eyes closed so she would enjoy her treat to the fullest. I don't recall my grandfather having any. Maybe he wasn't home around that time, I don't remember.
I have good memories of the time I spent with my grandparents. Grandma was there for us and we could always play outside with our friends until sunset. Sometimes our uncle stopped by. He owned an MG convertible and every time he drove into that street, he would honk his horn to warn us. We were all chipper and jumping up and down so he would take us along for a ride..

Nowadays, there is no more ice cream truck in our town. It's a shame. There used to be one, when we just bought the house. Some neighbors complained about the hour the truck drove through town. Their kids would be in bed and rush downstairs to get a cold treat. Maybe the truck will come back one day... just maybe. Just for old time's sake..

A gift from heaven

Aunti Erika is a catholic nun. Since she's used to going to church on a regular basis, we tried to find a catholic church over here she could attend. The manager at Caribe Cove has been very helpful and told us about the Basilica of the National Shrine of Mary, Queen of the Universe in Orlando. Aunt Erika and Grandma were completely excited about this trip. After a quick visit to the gift shop - we needed some post cards and Grandpa needed some extra T-shirts - we hopped in the car and left for Orlando. We're all glad Grandpa decided to leave the 5XL shirt for other tourists..

There was quite some traffic down the road. I heard the Basilica was real popular, but could all the traffic really be headed that way??? With a 30 min delay, we arrived at the Shrine of Mary. The other cars kept going - the parking lot of the Premium Outlet Mall of Orlando was just next door..

We were all impressed by the size of this church. Just in time for the 12 o'clock mass, we decided to join in and take a seat. We were surprised by the devotion of the people present. They all sang along and chanted their "Praise the Lord".

Although our guests didn't understand the exact words the priest preached, they did get the contents of the sermon. We lit a candle for whoever needed some help from above, before the priest gave us his blessing. He showed us the way to the museum and the gift shop. It made me think of Las Vegas: the numerous thingamajigs, the chaplets and rosaries, the bottles filled with holy water and the statues of Jezus Christ.. It was impressive to say the least. Plenty of souvenirs to choose from.. Auntie Erika and Grandma truly enjoyed this visit. They got themselves some post cards from the church and were pretty quiet in the car.

The clouds were filled with rain and we didn't want to ruin our hair - I don't think Americans are used to seeing ladies with raincaps - so we skipped the Premium Outlet Store for now..

Instead we got back on the highway and headed towards the Mall at Millenia. The ooh's and the aah's in jawdropping faces, the feet that went faster by every step we took, could tell we were really ready for some mall-time. We split up the group (well, Eva decided she wanted to see other stores than we were going to explore) and made an agreement to meet up again at the front door around 5 PM. But not until we had lunch at Dad's favorite Johnny Rockets. He really wanted his parents to indulge the perfect burger and crunchy fries and trust me: they enjoyed it allright!

The ladies enjoyed Bloomingdale's and Macy's, the men followed us around. We enjoyed Abercrombie & Fitch, The Gap store, Hollister, .. aarrgghhh... I think we need to come back another day, to see the rest of the mall..

Although it's only 9 PM, Grandpa already fell asleep on top of the bed spread around 8 PM. I guess he was tired of the active shopping day. We enjoyed our sandwiches at home and had a relaxing evening. Time to reflect over the day and make preparations for the upcoming days.

Where to next?

We had another fun day in Kissimmee, Orlando. Our guests are getting used to the Florida sun, the food, the free time. After a breakfast of cream cheese and red fruit French toast, the whole family headed towards the pool, determined to get a nice tan. After all, they want the home front to see how they enjoyed the good weather, right?

Since I had some time by myself while the others were at the pool, I took the Black Beast and headed to Super Target. I want this supermarket at home.. What a joy!! I can't stop filling my shopping cart with groceries. There are so many things I want to cook here and it's a pleasure to feed our crowd. There are plenty of restaurants out here in the neighborhood, but we also like a healthy meal when we get the chance. So yes, plenty of veggies and fruit, whole wheat bread and low fat cold cuts.

The plan for today, was to have a walk in Downtown Disney. The weather looked promising so we didn't hesitate. No more than a 25 min drive to spend a good time with the family. It was good to see how they all enjoyed the excursion. The Harley Davidson shop, the boatride, Rainforest Café, the Disney shops.. it's good to be back here..

No more restaurant visit for dinner either. Don't we love home cooked meals? Having seen so many overweight people, we decided we will skip on the French fries, donuts, cotton candy and buttered popcorn. We bought some new outfits and we do want those to fit, right?

We even enjoyed the thunder and lightening and the streaming rain, seen from the deck outside the apartment. Life is sweet.. It's good to be here with our family, although we wish our oldest daughter could have joined us.. We know she's having a good time in Italy with her friends, but I'm sure she would have enjoyed Florida too..

Grandma and Auntie Erika like to watch the Belgian news. They are pretty modern, checking the news on the iPad. While Grandpa is taking a nap - after all, he likes to be awake in the middle of the night - we are cleaning up and preparing breakfast for tomorrow. There could be some rain showers in the upcoming days, so maybe we should do some shopping.. How about the Mall at Millenia? I'm sure Eva won't object and neither will Grandma and Auntie Erika. Just trying to figure out how we could please the men in our company..

Wired but tired

photo Eva Joos

After a 10 hour flight, we finally got to our destination: Stanford Airport, Florida. We had a good flight.. The first flight for the inlaws and they were completely at ease. The plane didn't go all the way up to the sky like a rocket does, so they were comforted by that idea.
It took us some time to get through customs, as half of the group doesn't speak English. The officer at customs was real nice about that though. He used Google Translate to make himself understood and the inlaws sign languaged and used their thumb ups to let him know they knew what he was talking about. What ad adventure!

The Florida sun welcomed us and so did Dollar Rental Cars. The original plan was to rent a Dodge Caravan. We weren't too sure about the size of the car, as there are 6 people and as many suitcases. What a bummer: the trunk was too small for all of our luggage. We had the option to order a taxi to deliver the suitcases, or to rent a bigger car.. What did you think? Exactly! We saw a Ford Expedition right across from the car we had rented and decided to take that one. We made a good deal and loaded the car. All set to go.. we thought, but I couldn't turn on the ignition. What was wrong?? I almost hopped out of the car to ask Mr James at the Dollar shop. Until we read the key chain: A22, not C5. OMG! what a blooper! I felt so stupid! We had a good laugh over it before we transferred all of our luggage to a third vehicle. What a monster that big black car is!

The sun felt great and we headed towards Kissimmee, a one hour drive away. My tummy was aching for food and we stopped at the Panera Bread restaurant, just around the corner of the apartment  for a quick bite. Grandma and aunt Erika were pooped but grandpa found his courage back after a hot steak and caramelized onion panini. It didn't take us long to fill out the forms at the front desk at www.caribecove.com so we could head to our rooms and unpack the suitcases. By then it was 9:00 PM local time or 03:00 AM our time. All quiet now peeps... we need some rest.. 

Commitment

You are very committed to all of your activities. You just want to do things right and give yourself 200%. That's not always easy, since you have many activities going on beside school. Exhaustion is taking over. We hardly saw you this last week, for you had so many things to do. Chiro Kaprijke is celebrating its 50th anniversary and you have put so much energy in organizing fun activities for the members and their families. You were happy to know that your family, grandparents, aunts and uncles have decided they wanted to join in for this morning's brunch. Last night, you came home around 2:30, exhausted, looking pale and with baggy eyes. But I also saw the light in those tired eyes, the light of happiness and fulfillment. We will all be glad the weekend has nearly passed, so you can relax and take some time off from those activities. I know school work is waiting and 12 novels need to be read. You are facing hectic times in the upcoming months. We are here to support you sweetie. Don't be afraid to call for help if you need any. You don't have to do all of this by yourself. 

مرحبا بكم في مراكش

We couldn't decide whether we would book a vacation or not. Thinking of going back to Florida, one of the girls protested that she wanted to go some place else. A place where she could visit historical sites and learn about the country. On the other hand, daughter number two was more than willing to go to Florida. She mainly wants to shop and lie down by the pool... Hmmm what a dilemma... I'm not entitled to take a break yet, since I just started working again. Hubby worked hard all year round and he's desperately looking forward to some time off and a vacation abroad. Arrgghhh!!! We need help!

We decided the kids would go to summer camp and the oldest daughter is starting her first summer job in August. Maybe we could go to Florida around Christmas? Or to Indiana? How about Bali? Darn.. if only all of us could agree on a destination and a set a date?

My in-laws would like to come to Florida with us. They talk Easter vacation 2013. That was the plan. Until Lana told us her class was planning a schooltrip to Italy around Easter. And Eva just announced that she would like to go to Durbuy to take courses so she could become a monitor for summer camps. So the Easter vacation is a no-go as well.

At work, we discussed the schedule for August. My employer and his family have planned another break, meaning I would be off August 10 - August 20th. So the idea started to grow in my head, that maybe, just maybe, we could escape from our rainy country and enjoy some sun some place else? I have always wanted to go back to Morocco. Not Agadir this time, but Marrakech. I would love to stroll around the Medina and enjoy the Moroccan cuisine. Just bed and breakfast and no children around. It's been a very long time since mom and dad went away all by themselves. The girls will be very disappointed, but we'll make it up. I'd better schedule care for the whippets as well. Arthur can stay at home, but the dogs would be better of at Fiefoerniek's to go play with their whippie friends.

I'm looking forward to the Arabic sounds, the music, the food, the sun, the atmosphere and some quality time with my husband. La Sultana looks very appealing and luxurious to us... Can't wait to go..

Because I know you

The thing between you and me, is that we are so much alike. We look alike and we tend to have similar experiences. I recognize so many situations. I was 15 once, looooooooooooong time ago. But I remember being a teen wasn't easy. Trying to find your own identity, you try out different things. You want to be challenged. You want to be popular and do things others are afraid to do. But I know you, because I know me and I remember what life was like at your age.

There was a basket full of cigarettes in a cabinet up front in our house. The basket was long and made out of  brown rattan. It held like 8 different brands of cigarettes. Those cigarettes were not my parents', since they didn't smoke. They were not ours, since we were not supposed to smoke. We even hated cigarettes or the smoke they produced. It would sting our eyes and it would make us cough. My dad bought them for visitors, so he could offer them a smoke when they felt the need. Back in those days, that was common and very acceptable. 

You like to hang out in the park with your friends. We let you, because we think it's important for teens to socialize and have a good time. We trust you to behave and make the right choices. Last time I picked you up though, you had too much gum in your mouth and your face was all red. You looked out of the window all the way home and you didn't say much. I had suspicions you had been smoking, but I waved that presumption away. You hate cigarettes as much as I do. You say it smells bad and it's bad for your health. So I trusted you and I put away the thought of you smoking...

I had no friends who smoked. So nobody tempted me or dared me to try it out. It's just that one day, I was home alone and I needed something from the cabinet. Closing the cabinet door, the corner of my eye caught the rattan basket full of cigs. I don't know why, but I thought it would be kinda exciting to try out one cigarette. That green box of Saint-Michelle looked the most appealing to me. I had no idea how I would light that cigarette, but I grabbed some matches on the way to the backyard. 

I was emptying your baggage when you came home from camp. There was so much laundry to do and I held your backpack upside down to make everything fall out. To my surprise, a lighter fell out on the floor. For an instance, my heart stopped. I was not wrong. My intuition had not failed on me.. I was so disappointed.. Why??? You're such a clever girl.. you are popular, you have so many friends. Why do you try something this stupid? How many did you have already? Are you still smoking? Who's providing you? Do you use your allowance to buy the things you need?

I was pretty nervous. First I tried to light a match and light the cigarette, by just holding it in my hand. Obviously that wasn't working.. I remembered seeing my grandma smoke. She had the cig in her mouth when she lit it, so that's what I tried. It worked! And it tasted awful.. I spit out what I had just tasted in my mouth. But maybe the second try would taste better? I didn't get the chance, because my mom came home and called for me. I freaked out! I buried the cigarette, together with the matches and I promised myself never to be this stupid again. I couldn't stop smelling my fingers and my heartbeat went up by the minute. My mom came outside to look for me and I was terrified she would notice...

I confronted you with the lighter. The tone of your skin changed into a deep purple. You didn't look at me, but you said you didn't want to talk about it. Bad luck. I'm your mom. You don't decide whether you want to talk about this or not. In the end, you admitted you had tried smoking. But you refused to tell me why the lighter was in your backpack. I'm disappointed... I really am. Right there and then, I wished you would not look after me that well..

Simple comme bonjour

There are certain days my mother-in-law expects all of her children and their spouses to bring her grandchildren to the parental house. We never question those invitations. We just try to be there, out of respect and because hanging out with the crew is always pleasant. This time is no different. Every first weekend of July, we have cake and pies and cookies in Eastshop. Originally the event was the fair. A couple of years ago, there was not much left of the fair, but the tradition continues and we still get together. It's not easy to motivate everybody and it's possible one or two can't make it. But the major part of the family will be there to enjoy the company and the goodies. I'm grateful for my mother-in-law's energy and patience with all of us. It is of no effort to her to have around 20 people over and feed them. It's what she likes to do and it's a good way to keep the family together.
See you this afternoon! I'll bring the home baked cookies and pies. You bring your enthusiasm okay?

Love is..

.. losing track of time when you are together.

This little girl has something special, that makes anyone love her. I don't know how she does it, but you must love her. There's no other option. I'm so happy she was born in such a loving family. That may be obvious to you, but it isn't. I have seen different situations.. Needing people around her who care for her and who love her for who she is, this little Princess is growing up in the most loving environment ever. Surrounded by family, friends and caregivers, she's happy and nurtured.

I got pretty emotional, reading this letter from her parents. I was not the only one.. Grandma's eyes teared up as well. Fantastic people and wonderful parents to both little Princess and her brother..

All caregivers are invited to a pleasant night out in a nearby restaurant. It's their way to show their gratitude for looking after this beautiful child. It takes a team you can trust and build on, to make sure there's always someone there to help out. I'm lucky I can be part of this team. I'm lucky to have little Princess in my life.. Because she teaches me about true love..

But how do you expect me to..

stay sober for the rest of my life??

It must have been a real struggle. You didn't have much choice at the time. Since the age of 14, you had been working for the same boss. Over the years, alcohol had become your best friend and you learned to love that friend more and more until you reached the point of no return. You became an addict. You needed that alcohol and you were worthless without. That's how you saw it. Without the alcohol you couldn't function well. It affected your family life - coming home, falling asleep on the couch and being useless to your beloved ones - as well as your job. Up to the point where your boss wanted to talk to you in private. He said you had to deal with your addiction or he would have to let go of you. That must have been a true eye opener to you, because you did quit after that conversation..

May 25th 1992 - May 25th 2012

Photo Lana Joos

A day that changed your life and the lives of the people involved. Never again did you touch another sip of alcohol. Not one time did you tempt yourself to cross the line. Because the stakes were too high. You couldn't risk losing your job. A family of 5 children needed to be fed and you had to be fit and sober in order to do so.

Every day is a struggle. Every day you tell yourself: today, I'm not going to drink alcohol. Although there are plenty of occasions, you have stuck to that promise and I cannot even imagine how hard that must be.
You say you can't remember the taste. You also say you don't miss the alcohol. You don't miss the fog it gave you. Being away from the world is no longer priority.

You and grandma are coming over to our place to celebrate that important anniversary. It's pretty obvious that no alcohol will be served. We respect your wish and neither one of us needs alcohol to have a good time. But we will enjoy each other's company and a good menu. I've been looking forward to cooking this meal for you. You will love that pork rib crown roast, the broccoli mash, scalloped potatoes and the abundance of finely chopped vegetables. You will have your diet coke and you will tell your stories. Thank you grandpa, for having made that important decision. Thank you for sticking to it. That way we can enjoy you even better. We're proud of you. Are you proud of you?

Turning back time

Our youngest daughter is doing a school project on her grandparents. She's going through the family pictures and writing down stories on the family tree. She's fascinated by the snapshots of her grandparent's wedding. What a doll grandma was.. She was gorgeous and slim and so in love with her hero. They have grown older over the years, having raised 5 children. In a house, where all family members are welcome, we like to sit together and enjoy a pleasant afternoon. The 9 grandchildren bring joy into the life of their grandparents. They are their love and pride.

Grandma, you are still a beautiful woman. You are loving and caring and your heart is warm enough to feed us all. The children love to come for a sleepover and they always look forward to being around you. Today is your birthday. A memorable one: 70 years old. When I was a teen, I thought 50 was old. But I know better now. Even at the age of 70, you are not old. Not at all. You are still very active. Going out with your girlfriends, taking dance classes, looking after your grandchildren and helping out in the neighborhood, you lead a fulfilling life and I think you wouldn't want it any other way.

Have a very happy birthday grandma. We love you xxx

Granny panties

He had three watches on one wrist and two on the other. Tears rolled down his cheeks, telling jokes.
She wore huge white granny panties, made of ribbed cotton. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as well, listening to his jokes. They were a great couple. They had the best fun.

A bag of white and pink marshmallows was never far off. Because she loved marshmallows.. She couldn't eat them, since she had diabetes and back in those days, you were not allowed to have sweets. She didn't care. She had them anyway. She didn't know any better, I guess. Who are we to judge? Back in those days, diabetes treatment was not what it is nowadays. My grandmother had no glucometer. She had urine sticks she could pee on, but they were not very accurate. They gave you an idea of what your blood glucose was like. That's all those sticks did. They didn't tell anyone how to adjust their insulin. There was no warning that came along with the sticks, telling you that marshmallows were not the best choice for you.

You liked to live. You liked to laugh and enjoy life with my grandpa. You died way too young. Diabetes complications, they said. Nobody ever told me what those complications were. What you actually died from. I do remember that we had to miss you way too soon. Grandpa didn't cope well with your passing. He was heart broken and full of grief. All he wanted was to be with you. Not too long after you passed, he joined you. At least, the two of you were together again..

I don't have many memories of you. But I do remember your laughter and the huge panties. They were so, well, so ugly. You wet your panties quite often, laughing out loud with grandpa's jokes.

I'm taking good care of myself. Trying to keep my blood glucose within range. Having you in mind, I'm trying my best to keep the complications out of my life and so far that has worked well. I just wanted you to know that...

Ssssssttttt

My alarm clock reads 9:15 AM. The silence around the house is striking. The girls are not home. We left them at grandma's playing Buzz with their cousins. They were enjoying themselves and clattering laughter filled the house with joy.
I am trying to figure out my new toy and it is great fun. I know Christmas isn't about presents and there is more to life than bingeing. We all love the good feeling of being around the people we cherish. Doesn't matter where they are.. Our minds are joined. I hope all of you had fun last night..

Reach out and touch

I believe "reach out and touch" could be a good theme for Christmas Eve.. As usual, we all get together at the in-laws, to celebrate and enjoy each other's company. Two new sisters-in-law are joining us this year and I'm really looking forward to that. It's good to see the brothers-in-law happy again and it's great to have everyone present that night. Our sister-in-law will introduce her new partner to the family as well and we know he will be a hit! One of the 9 grandchildren will be missed but all the others will be there and the crowd will be loud and cheerful without any doubt. We hope to see the youngest grandchild on Christmas day.

The plan is that we all run some errands and the female side of the family will do the preparation for dinner. Many hands will help so the chores won't be hard or boring. We like to honor the grandparents and give them a wonderful evening to remember. All grandchildren love to go over to their grandparents. They'll probably have another sleep-over as well. Joy oh joy..

Have a wonderful Christmas season, all of you. Take good care of the people you love and be grateful for the people who love you back. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Pass the tissues please

Photo by Lana Joos

You have been playing the flute for 6 years now and you're still enjoying it. There's even a small chance you will get an upgrade and join the adult music group in town.

There was a concert in Assenede in April and there will be another one in our town in May. We're so looking forward to coming to see and hear you play! I'm sure grandma and grandpa will be there too.

On the concert in April, you were asked to take pictures and you did real well. I'm so proud of you for being such a good photographer. Look at how you portrayed the singer present at the concert. You did a very good job at catching her emotions. Never doubt your talent, girl. You're getting better after every photoshoot you make.

I'm sure grandma and I will need some tissues during the performance. To be honest, I find it very emotional to see your child play an instrument and see her enjoy the play. And it's a boost to her, to see that we support her in what she does, by coming to her concerts and cheering for her. You go, girl!

Scared to stand out

You are a very sociable girl. Your friends (trust me, there are way too many) love you very much. They look up to you. But you don't know why. It is strange to see, how shy you can be. You don't like to stand out. You don't like to be in the middle of the excitement. Being a bystander is what you prefer, although people often think differently about you.

There's no reason to be shy or afraid, sweetie. You're a wonderful kid. Being clever, smart, witty, friendly, goodlooking, talented,.. I don't see a reason why you would hide. I hear you play the flute very well, but then again, you don't want to play before an audience. The band is planning a concert on Sunday, and you are terrified and anxious. Your grandparents will come over to see you play, and you hate the idea! But why kiddo? You'll do just fine! Nobody expects more from you than you are already showing us. So chillax okay? 

Once upon a time

Seven years ago, I made a photo album for my father-in-law. It must have been shortly after his father died, that I decided to gather all the old pictures his father left him. It took me a while to figure out who everybody in the pictures was, but my mother-in-law was there to help me out. It was a lot of work to make the album, but I was very proud of it and my father-in-law was touched.. It had pictures of him as a toddler. There were pictures of him growing up as a single child and of the time where he met my mother-in-law. Their wedding pictures are in the album, as well as pictures of all five of their children.

Of course there are pictures of the grandchildren as well. There were eight at the time I made the album. There are nine by now. Each grandchild has its own page in the album with childhood pictures. This weekend, grandpa had to find the album, because the grandchildren wanted to take a look at the pictures (once more). They love strolling through old photos! And we had a great time as well!!! There are wedding pictures of the children and birth pictures of the grandchildren. It is striking how well the grandchildren look after their parents. Really! I'm sure if you would ask one of them who's in the picture, they would think it was them, not their parent. There are so many similarities, it's frightening! I love those memories.. Maybe I should consider making a sequel. The grandchildren have grown and we are ageing as well. We'll see..