Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I struggle to understand

It was nice to shake hands and be welcomed into your office. You were friendly and we had some small talk before I popped my question. You were happy with my HbA1C, that has been lower than 7% for the last 1.5 year. I'm happy with my number too, but I worry about the standard deviation. Having a blood glucose of 45 and one of 450 in one day, is not exactly motivating. It wears you out and you feel like crap. The problem is: I have too many fluctuations in my blood glucose. There's this one book I like to follow, when it comes to diabetes treatment and that is Pumping Insulin. A standard deviation of 50 or lower, helps you prevent complications in later life. Think kidney failure, blindness, amputations of limbs. I'm an optimist, I really am, but when it comes to complications, I'd rather prevent than treat them.

You understood my question about CGM. I told you about my black out in the beginning of February. Yes, I know that is not hypo unawareness. And no, I'm not pregnant. Because those reasons are more or less acceptable if you want to apply for CGM. I do have several low blood glucose numbers a day and sometimes I don't sense them, ending up in trouble. CGM would help me prevent that. You get warned that your blood glucose is dropping rapidly or getting way out of line.

You said you wanted to discuss my application with your colleagues. That's a good idea, I assume. We'll have another get together in April. In the meantime, I'll poke my fingers 10 times a day, like so many of my friends do..

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Let's call it a date

I set this date just three weeks ago. Because I definitely wanted to see him. Our next date was too far off and I needed a good conversation. It couldn't wait till May, so I scheduled a new date.
He's tall and blond and Dutch. Absolutely not the kind of man I would date. He's my endocrinologist. And what I'm gonna ask him today, will be a tough question. I would really like to convince him of the profits CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitoring) could bring me. I have my eyes set on the Dexcom sensor, in combination with my Accu-Chek Combo insulin pump. I hope he will have time to hear me out. He's a good doctor and we get along. CGM is still at own expense and since it is very expensive, I'm looking for a way to get it reimbursed after all. And I'm getting there... if only the CGM is prescribed by my physician. So Please Doctor R.. try to reason with me and help me get through to the doctor who's investigating my medical file. It would be the present of the year..

Monday, February 27, 2012

Comme d'habitude

One week off from school.. it was a busy week nevertheless. Many outings, lots of friends that came over to the house and quite a bit of lazy time. Today school has started and things have gone back to normal rapidly. There's laundry to be ironed, floors to be mopped. The kitchen cabinets would like to be rinsed down and maybe I should sponge out both refrigerators. Cleaning house is not my favorite part of the job, but it needs to be done. I prefer nobody to be around so I can pick out my favorite music and crank up the volume. Let's go for it and get some work done!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

There's a side to you that I never knew

Last night, I was flabbergasted.. My hair dresser invited me to a night out with his friends. He asked me to dress up and pick him up around 5:30 PM. We went for sushi and wakame before we met the others in a parking lot. Three cars full of happy chaps hit the road on their way to Salons Mantovani in Oudenaarde. A big event was scheduled that same night.

We entered the ballroom and beautiful women with stunning long legs came to greet us and showed us to our tables. I was amazed by their appearance and their elegance. Thinking my high heels were impressive, they were nothing compared to the stilts they were trotting on. Glitter and glamour, layers of foundation and lips covered in lipstick, the girls - like they prefer to be called - loved to flaunt the room and have all eyes set on them.

There were 10 people in our company and we had good seats. Some of our companions are men but like to be called "girls" as well. Men fancying men, men dressing up like women, they were all present and looking their best. One set of people in particular drew my attention. I assume they were father and daughter. She must have been in her very early twenties, he was at least double her age. Presenting himself as a "her" in a tight black dress, a golden chain around the waist in an attempt to hide the potbelly, and a platinum blonde wig, she sat at the table, observing the other girls and waving a curly lock of hair out of her face. Her lipstick was a bit smeared but she was happy.. Her daughter looked a bit confused but at the same time, there was some pride over her dad. I guess she wanted him to be happy, so she accepted that side of him that others probably never see in real life. Maybe he was a construction worker or an accountant, who knows. That night he was a she and his eyes flared at the sight of the other ladies..

Baby-V was the true winner. She was versatile, a great artist and the costumes were exquisite. She had muscular dancers on stage and her presence couldn't go unnoticed. She was not the only winner in the ballroom. So many men out there, who felt at ease, who could finally relax and take a good breath of fresh air, after having spent so many hours dressing up as a she.. It was a special night..

Saturday, February 25, 2012

I'm not in a hurry

Today is gonna be one of those lazy days. Haven't slept much (why does low blood glucose keep you out of your sleep?) and being pretty tired, I'm gonna take it easy today. There's laundry to be done and house to be cleaned before I can do what I like to do the most around the house: cook some special meals.

I got myself a new rolling pin. Not just a rolling pin. It's a device to make ravioli. I know I know, I'm hooked to ravioli and finding new fillings to stuff them with, is so exciting to me. The lady on the farmer's market in 's Hertogenbosch, was selling some home made ravioli and one of the choices was beets - potatoes - spring onion. The savory pockets were heart shaped and the beautiful red color of the beets was so attractive, I just have to copy them. I'm not in a hurry, but I'll look out for fresh beets and let my imagination take over..

Friday, February 24, 2012

Just a few more hours..

We spent three days in 's Hertogenbosch, Holland, with our friends. The weather was bearable and the company was exquisite. We like to hang out together and we have fun. Of course there was plenty to talk about and too many shops to visit. We didn't starve either and although we nearly ran out of money, we came home with a carload of shopping bags.

We texted quite a bit. Just to keep in touch. It is unthinkable not to check the Internet. The idea of turning off my cell phone, is just not acceptable. I would really be lost without. I just wanted to keep in touch and enjoy our friends at the same time.

Just a few more hours and I'll be right home to you..
You kept me busy. I was a bit concerned, but at the same time confident that you were okay. It's not the first time we go away and you always seem to cope well.

Nevertheless, it's good to be home. We had a great time and as always, we enjoyed each other's company. But all good stories know an ending and this trip had to come to an end as well. It's been good. Now it's time to come back to reality and enjoy your company..

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Life is very short

There are times in our lives, when we come to realize how short life really is. We are not immortal and there is no such thing as living forever. Choices need to be made on a daily basis. What are our priorities? What do we want to do, to make our life and the lives of the people we care for, worth living?

A good friend told me, how important it is to step down and let the other know you care. Showing that you are prepared to make an effort, without any expectations or favors in return. There's a big chance the other will come down some steps as well, to move forward and get a better quality of life. There are so many lessons in life that need to be learned. It's a work in progress. Don't let it be a chore, but something you look forward to. Something your heart tells you to do, without letting your mind interfere...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

What a peach!

Photo by Lana Joos
Hey pumpkin...

Just look at you, you little twit. You are having the time of your life. How much you have changed over the past year. Trying to find out who you are, you experiment and you enjoy good times with your numerous friends.

You and I, we are so much alike in so many ways.
I recognize me in you and that's not always easy for you.. Because I know me and I know you, we have our discussions. You are something else, a true challenge, to say the least. Not that you are misbehaving or obnoxious or anything, no. You're no more than a healthy teenager, trying to find her way in life. It's not easy to be a teen. There are so many things you would like to do and having your sister as a role model, you would love to be able to do what she does. Sometimes you forget she's two years older than you, but we remind you in time. Just be you, sweetie. That's the best person you can be and I love you exactly as you are.

We are truly happy to have you as our daughter. We love you very much and you will always be our little girl..

Today you turned 15.. That seems like a very long period of time, but in fact, those 15 years flew by. Where's my little girl, where's my youngest baby gone? I'm proud of you. You're a beautiful young lady. Have a very happy birthday xxx

Photo by Lana Joos

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I'm not having this conversation with you

What if you are in to having a conversation with someone and the other person has no intentions whatsoever to take part in that conversation? Then what? Do you insist? Do you withdraw and forget about it or do you prefer to postpone the conversation? I guess it depends on the importance of the talk as well as on the willingness of your companion.

Some people communicate better than others. Not all of us are as talkative and it's no problem to be introvert, as long as you don't give the other the idea you are not willing to talk. Maybe you need more time to think things over. It would be good to let the other know what your intentions are, so frustration doesn't build up. Just think about it..

Monday, February 20, 2012

Mr Cab Driver

What a jerk..

We drove all the way to Antwerp to have dinner at El Warda, a wonderful Moroccan restaurant. The weather was absolutely crappy. I assume all the rain in Belgium was coming down in Antwerp that night..
Dinner was delicious, although my blood glucose wasn't in the same range by far. Numbers like 380 and 408 are not exactly hopeful, are they? Anyway, I had parked my car in a nearby Q-Parking, just one kilometer from the restaurant. Being dressed up and wearing my highest heels ever, I was not looking forward to walking to El Warda. So we took a cab. The cab driver was too interested to know where we came from. Hearing that we were not locals and that we had no idea where the restaurant was located, she took us on a little tour around the area.. That should have rung a bell..

The owner of the restaurant called a cab for us to go fetch the car, since the weather had only gone worse. We rushed to cross the street, hopped into the cab and asked the cab driver to take us to Berchem Railway Station. He turned around, gave us his most nasty look and shouted: are you making fun of me??? We were gobsmacked.. eeeuuugghh??? Excuse me??? Why would we make fun of you?? He was in rage and he had no intentions to take us to our destination, since he was not going to make any money. Oh common please! Had he not seen the weather out there??

With a blood glucose of 408, wearing no more than a sleaveless dress and a light leather jacket (I already mentioned my highest heels), we walked all the way back to the Railway Station. I was truly pissed off.. I felt like a kitten thrown out with the trash.. I was cold and soaking wet and I felt like I had eaten a bag of cotton balls..
I would love to go back to El Warda - despite the high BG - but it will be on a sunny day..

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Granny panties

He had three watches on one wrist and two on the other. Tears rolled down his cheeks, telling jokes.
She wore huge white granny panties, made of ribbed cotton. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as well, listening to his jokes. They were a great couple. They had the best fun.

A bag of white and pink marshmallows was never far off. Because she loved marshmallows.. She couldn't eat them, since she had diabetes and back in those days, you were not allowed to have sweets. She didn't care. She had them anyway. She didn't know any better, I guess. Who are we to judge? Back in those days, diabetes treatment was not what it is nowadays. My grandmother had no glucometer. She had urine sticks she could pee on, but they were not very accurate. They gave you an idea of what your blood glucose was like. That's all those sticks did. They didn't tell anyone how to adjust their insulin. There was no warning that came along with the sticks, telling you that marshmallows were not the best choice for you.

You liked to live. You liked to laugh and enjoy life with my grandpa. You died way too young. Diabetes complications, they said. Nobody ever told me what those complications were. What you actually died from. I do remember that we had to miss you way too soon. Grandpa didn't cope well with your passing. He was heart broken and full of grief. All he wanted was to be with you. Not too long after you passed, he joined you. At least, the two of you were together again..

I don't have many memories of you. But I do remember your laughter and the huge panties. They were so, well, so ugly. You wet your panties quite often, laughing out loud with grandpa's jokes.

I'm taking good care of myself. Trying to keep my blood glucose within range. Having you in mind, I'm trying my best to keep the complications out of my life and so far that has worked well. I just wanted you to know that...

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I'm on fire

One of the first music tapes I bought, must have been Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen. I was probably 13 - 14 at the time and Springsteen was really hot in those days. His raw voice and his music made many teen hearts pound faster. We had no access to the Internet at the time - can you imagine there was no such thing as the Internet??? So we had to rely on what we found in the weekly magazines such as Joepie, to understand the lyrics of the songs we liked. We would use scissors and pritt sticks to keep our little treasures together in a scrapbook. Learning the lines by heart, we would remember those songs forever. And I must say: it did work! Singing along with I'm on fire, I came to the realization that I still knew the words by heart. I mean, that's like over 25 years ago and we were still kids back then. I find that remarkable. Is it because there wasn't much else to do than listen to music, that we were so interested in lyrics? Before we had access to Joepie, we would sing along mimicking words without having any clue what the texts were about. That didn't matter though.. we were in the moment and it felt great to sing along with our idols. Springsteen is still hot. A bit older now, but he still has the moves..

Friday, February 17, 2012

Little Miss Popular

It was great to see the big smile on your face, coming home from school with two ruby red roses in your hand.. Not one, but two boys had offered you a Valentine's present, just because they love you for who you are. Isn't that special? I was so happy for you! Even if they're not that one special boyfriend, the gesture made you happy instantly. You are pretty special, you know, and that doesn't go unseen. You get noticed sweetheart! Boys fancy your cute appearance and your personality. And why wouldn't they?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Now tell me something

Frankly, I would like to write 4 blogs today. I like to give each one of you your very own birthday wishes. And I would like to wish my friend the best of luck with her upcoming operation. I'll do my best to keep it brief but from the heart.

This year is going to be a very special year for you.
A special number, a special birthday. You invited us to join you for a shopping trip to Holland. That was really an honor and we're looking forward to spending 3 days with all of you. The prospect of having dinner together in Seventh Heaven, brings me joy. Last time was great and I'm sure this time won't be any different. We're in good company and we always have a good laugh over excellent food, don't we? I know this was not a birthday you wanted to celebrate already, but guess what: to us, you will still be our good friend and you still look your best. Have a very happy birthday, my Phantom...

I have known you for 18 years now. You have calmed down quite a bit since then, although you still work long hours to help out financially. In fact, you should be enjoying life a bit more and work a bit less, but you do what you like to do most. I see a lot of you in your sons. 18 years is a long time and we see each other nearly weekly. I must say: you haven't changed that much over the years. You look pretty much the same and your health hasn't gone bad. We keep our fingers crossed that our children will be able to see their grandpa grow very old, so they can cherish you even longer. Happy birthday, grandpa..

You are not doing so well... Where has the vibrant woman gone.. I wish it were different for you, because you deserve better. Life hasn't been easy on you. Raising three children all by yourself was not a piece of cake. Two came out real well, your middle one is still finding his way in life. That hurts you big time. It keeps your mind busy and it drags you down. Let's hope this year will bring some more sparkling stars in the dark sky you have seen the last months. I'm glad I could give you a hug yesterday. You needed that hug. It was good to have a private talk. Take care my friend.. you're not alone. Have a happy birthday if you can, okay? Do it for you.

Today, on the day of your son's birthday, you'll be in the hospital to have eye surgery. No major operation, but still. Not something one would do by choice, but it was necessary and there were no other options. A second operation is scheduled 5 weeks later. I'll light all the candles in the house for you. You'll be on our mind. Good luck, my friend. We love you. Hope you will see a whole lot better by the next time we meet.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

What would you like to accomplish before you die?

For those who read my blog on a regular basis, it will be pretty obvious that diabetes plays a major role in my life. It's part of who I am and many of my friends are diabetics as well. Over the last 10 years, I have tried to educate myself on the subject, by listening to peers, by surfing on the Internet and talking to my doctors and diabetes nurses. I agree that life with D isn't always easy. Not for us diabetics, but not for the people around us either. It's good that them too know what diabetes is about. Okay they will never understand what it's like to feel sick when ketones enter your body or how low blood glucose makes you lose control. They do witness those episodes at times and it's probably weird and occasionally even frightening. It is important for them to know, that we do the best we can to control our condition and to make our life and the lives of the people around us, worth living.

I'm having visitors this afternoon. A few people from a production house are coming over to make a commercial on Type 1 diabetes. They contacted me with the question if I was willing to tell my story in front of a camera. The clip will be shown during a diabetes symposium on a big screen. I didn't doubt one second. If I can help spread the word on diabetes, I will. Awareness is so important and a positive attitude will help us move on. I see it as a goal in life, to bring awareness to the people around us.
I'm curious and anxious and nervous and chipper. Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The light of my life

That's what you used to call me, many years ago: the light of your life..
We're not the most romantic couple ever. We're not good with candle light dinners, little scribbles on scrap paper or red rose petals on the bed. That's just not who we are as a couple. We don't watch the stars, laying on our back in the grass at night. We don't clasp hands to stroll down the beach. No memorable love texting on our cell phone. I never sit on your lap nor do you carry me up the stairs. You don't come home early from work because you missed me and I don't turn the car after I left to come back home and give you another cuddle..

Did we ever have that romance in our relationship? Not that I recall.. I guess both of us are too sober to do so. It doesn't mean we love each other less than the more romantic couples. We just express things in a different way. Subtle hints are not easy for you to comprehend. You like things to be said out loud and clear. And what do I like? I don't know.. Would I like a bit more romance in our marriage? I don't know.. Because we're not used to it. It would be kinda awkward if all of a sudden you would lay your hand on my back to let me enter the restaurant first. It would be weird if you would order dinner for me instead of me picking out your favorite meal. Would I be surprised if you would bring me my Latte Macchiato with two sweeteners and plenty of milk froth? Absolutely.. Would we enjoy breakfast in bed on a lazy Sunday morning..?

People who say Valentine's Day is just another way of merchandising, are probably right. It's not about February 14th. Loving is so much more than this one particular day. Love is less about having sex seven times a week. Love is not about expensive gifts. Love is more about bringing a smile on each other's faces for no reason at all. And love is more about letting your partner know you're still madly in love with little affectionate gestures..

Monday, February 13, 2012

Me Time

I'm privileged for having the occasion of enjoying so much Me Time.. My schedule is always packed with fun meetings, entertainment and Me Time. You let me enjoy life without limits. I love that Me Time - I need it too. It keeps me sane and motivated and happy. As long as there's enough time to spend with my family and to do what I need to do, I don't feel guilty about the Me Time. Because it gives me the energy to be bubbly and alive, and don't we all benefit from that?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The test of time

Every time when I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer. The past is gone. It went by, like dusk to dawn. Isn't that the way? Everybody's got the dues in life to pay..

I always said I didn't mind getting older. I had no grey hairs to dye, no wrinkles to treat. Times have changed. The sign of the times has started to show. I'm no longer a young woman. Not that I feel old, on the contrary. I feel young and vibrant, but my body is starting to discuss with the heart and the mind. I feel 40, for the first time in my life. But then again: what's wrong with being the age you are? It would be worse if I would feel 50 at the age of 40, right? I always claimed I was not going to grow older than 50. Meaning that I have a pitiful 10 more years to enjoy. That would be very sad, since I love to live. Maybe I should broaden my boundaries and go for 60? On the other hand, 60 isn't that old either. Hmhmh.. it's getting difficult here. Good enough we don't have to decide on how long we will be on this planet. It's not up to us at all. There are no certainties in life, besides being born and leaving this world. When that is going to happen, is one big question. I'm not even close, that I know. So I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. I want to live, I want to feel alive. Even at the age of 40, we're entitled to some fun. It's okay to feel young and bubbly. I'm not ready to give that enthusiasm up that easily, despite the test of time..

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I am just blah blah blah

It's been one of those days, when I feel like I can't stop talking. The words keep coming and they blur out my mouth. It's like my heart is flowing over with emotions that need to find their final destination. Feelings of all range and intensity. Sadness, happiness, joy and grief, concern and comfort. A mixture of feelings that pass the line. I want to take some time off, some rest, some time to think clear and straight and give those emotions their own place. It is good to feel though. It makes you feel alive. Fierce feelings at times, but nevertheless, they are feelings I embrace. Who would I be without this barrel of emotions..

Friday, February 10, 2012

I can't make you love me

There must have been a time down the line, when you were in love with someone who didn't love you back. Do you recognize that feeling? That overall feeling of love for the other and the pain because the other doesn't love you back the same way? I remember that feeling real well. It was so painful. That feeling of rejection, of not being wanted, is horrible. It's a pain you can't explain if you haven't lived it. You just can't make one love you.. That's not how love works. There may be a certain degree of love or friendship,  but if it doesn't go beyond that, it's probably never going to happen. Then it's time to let go and move on. Never regret having loved that special person. It was valuable nevertheless. Love can't be forced. It wouldn't be fair either. Hold on to the friendship if you can. No matter what the intensity of the relationship was: it was always worth having it. Since it brought you joy and it made you feel alive. I'm thinking of you..

Thursday, February 9, 2012

It's cold outside

Baby, it's cold outside! My feet are just frozen and numb and I can't find any warmth to defrost them. I hate cold weather. Okay, it's not snowing or raining or anything, but I just don't like to be cold. If only we could live in Florida, where we could enjoy the heart warming sun.... Wandering off, I can imagine myself in Kissimmee, enjoying some relaxation in the jacuzzi, surrounded by the gators. No stress, just sheer relaxation..

American citizens like to go to Florida to retire. Sounds like a plan to me. I definitely wouldn't mind. The heat would be good for our bones and our sanity. Because that's what the sun does with people: it lightens up your mood. Look how happy people are when the sun is out? Maybe we would adjust to those temperatures and no longer find it special after some time? Although we still get annoyed by the rain and the cold, after all of those years in Belgium...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I appreciate your honesty

There's not much you can't say to me. I appreciate your honesty and your friendship.
Today we're having lunch in Ghent. We travel around the country to meet up and so far, it's always been a pleasure. I would like you to tell me more about your CGM system and get to know all of the benefits. You're a fulltime user of the product so who else can explain me more than you?

You'll be in time. So will I. Because we have been looking forward to this lunch date. Let's say we connect. Both our partners know that and I'm glad they have no objections against our meetings. It would be a shame if we wouldn't be able to go out and have a good time. I would really miss that.

See you in a bit. I hope you have no other plans for the day...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Rumor has it

My agenda says I'm having three lunch dates this week. And all of you who know me well, know that my lunch dates start in the morning and they may well last till after dinner. Not because that's the plan, it's just the way it goes. I love to talk to all three of you. Different ages, different men, but all worth spending time with. We have some shopping to do, lunch to indulge, latte macchiato to drink and well... babble.. our tongues will go dry but diet coke will solve that without any doubt. Maybe our blood glucose will raise a bit higher than it normally does, but we know how to solve that. Since two of you are diabetics yourself, I know I don't have to fear anything. And my third date is well aware of what diabetes is about and we'll talk some more about scary situations, so there won't be any more "and then the light went out".

Are you ready to shop? I hope the cold won't scare us off. And if it does, we'll have some more Latte to keep us warm. We won't overdo on the carbs today. Healthy lunch and no desserts planned, so we don't outrage our numbers, okay?

This evening, we're going to attend another diabetes pub meeting. The theme of tonight is laughter. Something we're pretty familiar with. Nevertheless, it will be good to see the others too. A day to enjoy. A week to enjoy. Bonds to be tightened.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Je me fou du monde entier

You actually don't give a darn what people think of you. Being abroad for 5 weeks does you well. You are so happy with your partner and the two of you like to travel and enjoy each others company. Today is your birthday. Years go by so fast. I think I have known you for around 12 years now. No matter what happened to you during that period of time, you always kept your joy and positive attitude and you didn't let anyone get you down. Keep up that spirit, my friend. I'm looking forward to the short visit you will pay our country, before you go back where you like to be the most. I'll see you on Thursday, as usual, for our monthly day out. We never get bored and there's always plenty to talk about.
Have a very good birthday. I'm sure that won't be any problem.

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Photo by Lana Joos
Unheard off! Driving my car on the slippery roads at night, the outside thermometer read -17°C. MINUS that is! I have never heard of temperatures this low in our country... Cheese and rice, I mean.. come on? Is this Antarctica? I thought winter was not going to happen this year, since January was a very mild month. But February made up for that. The difference is just so enormous! We don't know how to keep ourselves warm, since the central heating and the gas fireplace don't do the trick. Warm socks, woolen sweaters and waterproof gloves are still not enough to go outside for a walk. The dogs are longing for some outside play, but the salt on the pavements hurts their feet. I really don't want them to have frostbite. So they stay inside and admire the white carpet from behind the glass windows. Inthe is sad... she wants to play catch.. So she weeps and gives us the saddest look ever...

I hate cold weather. I hate snow and I definitely hate ice. But I must admit, that the scenery is breathtaking. I was visiting someone who was staying in a wonderful house in the fields, far away from any nearby neighbors. I pulled up a parking lot, to enjoy the scenery and the serene landscape. And I realize how lucky we are to be living in a country where we still have seasons. I was impressed by the beauty of pristine snowy fields and the silence of a country covered in snow..

Coming home to a bowl of home made pumpkin ravioli, served with strips of raw ham and a bit of sage butter, warmed my hands and my tummy. Let's pull up a fleece blanket, hop on the couch and let the whippets warm my feet. I'm no longer that opposed to freezing temperatures, because I know my heart is warm and filled with love.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Smiling like an idiot

You probably have these moments too? Moments that are just so ridiculous that you can't do but laugh at yourself for what you've done or said?

I like to laugh and quite often, I smile like an idiot because of my very own stupidities. Awkward situations, for example. There are plenty of occasions where I made a complete fool out of myself. Falling down on my knees in the middle of a crowded street for instance. Those are painful moments, but at the same time hilarious, because I don't take myself that seriously.
I like to sing in my car or give comments on other drivers. I'm sure it's a weird sight for others to see me babble to myself.

Don't be that serious. Dare to laugh, dare to look at yourself and find the fun within your personality. Have a good laugh over you and share it with your friends. No big deal. Just a funny situation.

Friday, February 3, 2012

What do you think?

I look at you and I try to figure out what's on your mind. You are miles away, wandering off, sunken in thoughts.
I observe you and I check your mimicry. You close your eye lids only halfway just so you can still peek through your eye lashes. I have no idea what you're looking at, since it's something in your daydream. You have no idea you are being observed. I find it interesting, to say the least..
Maybe I should ask about your innermost thoughts, but I don't. Since they are your private thoughts. You would tell me, if you would want me to know. Maybe you will, in the end. I don't know. And it doesn't matter. Just keep on dreaming your daydream. I'll keep on observing you..

Thursday, February 2, 2012

And then the light went out..

I have no idea where the palpitations came from, but I could feel my heart beat go in overdrive. I felt sick to my stomach and my skin must have lost all color. I could see my friend but I couldn't hear her. I tried to get my glucometer out of my purse, but I couldn't hold the test strip. I would not even have known how to poke my fingers or read the result..
She told me to sit down on the floor and that's exactly where I ended up. Two pouches of pure glucose found their way to my mouth and my friend was so helpful to help me indulge the sugar. I was hot, too hot although I was freezing my bum off prior to this event. She told me to remain seated but I only wanted to get up. I felt ashamed. She said it was okay, nothing to be ashamed of. I hugged her for helping me out and I thanked the bystanders for their intervention. Not that I was aware of what they had done. All I knew, was that my friend was there to help me out. She knew where to find my pouches of glucose and she remained calm but very persistent in making me sit down and suck up the sweetness of the hypofit.
It was the first time I experienced a diabetic low of this caliber. Not very pleasant. Losing control is awful. My BG skyrocketed after this episode, but insulin made it come back down right to where it belonged.

My friend was supposed to drive home with her husband and daughter, but not one of them agreed to let me drive home from Brussels all by myself. So my friend joined me, to make sure I was okay (I had another - but smaller - episode that same night). She offered to drive my car, but I was okay. I was back in control, just the way I like it. There were more pouches of hypofit in my car, for emergencies. I was glad I got home in one piece. And once again: friendship is so important. As telling your friends what diabetes is about and how emergencies need to be treated. My friend was very chill about this situation and she has no clue how much that meant to me. Thank you...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A last minute call

Coming down from a good night's rest, I found the inbox of my cell phone to be full with text messages. There was one missed call as well, but I wanted to read your text before I called you back. You had an invitation for me. If I wanted to join you, your husband and your daughter to go see UB40 in Brussels. Of course! What did you think???? I opened my notebook, to make sure I had no other appointments scheduled the day of the concert. So I asked you when you wanted to go? A clatter of laughter filled the house, when you told me it were that very same evening. Euuhh.. okay.. no problem. That was a bit sudden and very last minute. But I instantly got happy and flattered that you had asked me to join you. Right away, a few UB40 titles popped up in my mind. Red red wine, There's a rat in my kitchen, Sing our own song.. Just a few of many wonderful songs from my youth. I loved UB40 and reggae music. So yes, this was a wonderful surprise. You're a delight.