Sunday, November 24, 2013


I guess you're familiar with CHAOS aka Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome? You know, the times when your house is a total mess? When you haven't cleaned properly for weeks and piles of laundry are about to take over the washing room? Every day I realize I'm not Superwoman. I don't like to clean although I would love to live in a Spic & Span house. I bookmark tips and tricks on Pinterest although I never get to try them. There are so many cleaning products in the house and they make me feel good looking at them. I dream of a spotless kitchen and it would be great to sit on a furfree couch. But hey! We have kids and we have pets. We run busy lives and we are not spending most of our lives outdoors. In fact, I spend quite some time inside the house, doing other chores than cleaning. I love to cook and yes, flour may dust my kitchen cabinets while I'm kneading bread dough. I stopped apologizing for it some time ago. Take it or leave it. You're all welcome here and I love having you over. The girls can bring friends along and sleepovers get served breakfast if they get up early enough. I like the smell of oven casseroles late at night, while the lights are dimmed and the TV has been turned off. I see some dust on my cupboards and I know both fridges could do with a decent clean up, but I prefer to go through my recipes and find more inspiration for the upcoming week. I just realized I don't have many cookbooks for vegetarians. I have one, my youngest daughter surprised me with last Christmas. It's a wonderful book with great recipes and ditto pictures. Do you think she was already preparing a vegetarian lifestyle back then? Or maybe she just wanted to surprise me with a cookbook that didn't talk about meat too much, since I'm not that much of a meatlover anyway. I went grocery shopping this week and I bought meat for 1 week. The amount was pathetic. Just for my husband, who was used to eating 3 pieces of meat per meal before he met me. He went down to just 1 piece of meat nowadays. I'm sure he'll never never never ever become a vegetarian, but there's no need to. As long as he respects our menu too. So far so good!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Free your mind and the rest will follow

She's sound asleep, lying on her back on the couch. One arm just fell out of the chair and is dangling, her fingers almost reaching the floor. Both whippets are right beside her, like they are safekeeping her. I see two sets of dog eyes looking at me, but not losing contact with the person they are looking after. Her lips have opened up a bit and I can hear her breathe soundly. She looks relaxed, her hair surrounding her angelic face. It's tangled on one side and one of her cheeks looks rosy and warm. She hasn't been sleeping much lately. It's not her way to fall asleep on the couch. She passed that stage a long time ago. I wish we could go back in time and reassure her she's fine, just the way she is. I want to hug that little girl she once was. I want to hold her in my arms and cuddle her and stroke her hair. She's not that little girl anymore. She's a beautiful young lady. Somewhere deep inside, there is still that little girl, trying to grow up and find her way in life. She'll get there. I have faith. She's a delicate swan, trying to make her first flight. She will spread her wings. It may take some time and some help but she'll get there.. 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

If you don't know me by now

I can take a lot. I can even take a lot of crap. But I have a breaking point, like most of you. I have to take care of myself and protect my boundaries, since previous experiences have taught me that trop is too much.

Part of what I like to do, is taking care of people. Let's say I am the nursing kind of girl. It is always to my concern that my beloved ones and friends feel well. I like to take care of them and I'm there if they need a cuddle or a chat. I'm lucky to have friends with good shoulders to cry on once I have reached my limits. Sometimes it's just been too much. Too much running around, too little time for me. Too much sorrow and not enough happy times. Nobody is to blame. That's just life. It is what it is and I'm okay with that. As long as I have a way to vent, time to relax and let go. I need things I like to do, to refuel my body and mind, so I can move on. Every now and then, my engine slows down and the tank needs refueling. That's when it becomes tricky. Do I go on or do I slam my brakes? It is a fine line, but I know that when I cross that line, I fall apart... And the thing is: I have no time to fall apart. I need to keep going. Too many things need to be done and too many people depend on me.

The last months have been hectic. One daughter moved house and started college. The other daughter stayed at home and had to get used to being the only daughter around. I started my job as a Tupperware consultant in August. It takes time and effort to start your own business. There are extra things to worry about and you need to build a customer base. Work meetings on Monday evenings, Training Sessions on Tuesday nights after a 9 hour work day, culinary parties with customers, dates with friends, family gatherings. Around that same time, I started working extra hours looking after that sweet little Princess. Being who I am, I still want to feed my family home cooked meals, have their laundry done and take them wherever they need to go. I don't want to give up on my diabetic friends either and I still put effort in preparing myself for my lectures on my life as a diabetic. I have always found it hard to ask others for help. It's just not something I like to do. The people that know me well, can read between the lines. They know when to sound the alarm. It's like they have a sixth sense. They text me or give me a phone call, when they sense something is not right. And then, right out of the blue, the bubble bursts and the stress founds it way out. It is some sort of relief of built up stress. It is a warning to slow down and to ask for help. My back is killing me and that is another sign my body gives me this time of year. For a number of years now, my back has been giving me extra pain once the cold weather has announced its arrival. The holidays are coming back too and they are not my favorite time of year either. If only we could go to Florida now. If only there would be some well deserved sun and time to relax.

But guess what? Dreaming is not the best solution. I have to get a grip on life again, straighten my back and broaden my shoulders. Times will be hectic for a while now. I know that. Still finding a way to cope with that. All ideas are welcome!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Blue Day

I would like to dedicate this blog to my fellow diabetic friends. Only diabetics know what it's like to have diabetes. No matter how educated one is on the subject, if you don't have it - no offense - you can't feel it.
This week, I have had several dates with my D-friends. It's always good to meet up and share this mutual factor. There are no silent moments when we are together. We don't have to explain why we order a regular coke and sharing sweet & low is normal since here in Belgium, we still get sugar sticks with an order of coffee.

I still meet too many diabetics, who have never met a fellow diabetic before. Why is that? So many of us out there? Do these people honestly hide their diabetes from the world? Is it shame? Probably... too often, people are told by the media that we have caused our diabetes. Isn't that a horrible thing to say? Stigmatizing people for a condition they haven't asked for is cruel. It is mean and unnecessary. It can happen to anyone of you. Pretty shocking huh? What would you do, if all of a sudden, your world is turned upside down? I'm sure it wouldn't be much of a joke if one day, you were told to poke your fingers 6 times a day, shoot up insulin for every bite of food you indulge and be warned for possible complications? Maybe there would be more sympathy for us D-people..

There is no cure yet. Insulin is not a cure. CGM is not a cure. Poking your fingers isn't a cure either. We have to keep up hope that one day, someone will be smart enough to make D go away. Until then, we can use your support and help in making life with D a bit easier.

Hang in there buddies. Together we're strong. Don't let diabetes defeat you. We can get a hold of this! I'm proud of you all, for coping with this freaking condition day after day. I'm proud of how you guys handle life and move on. Keep supporting each other, keep your hopes up, for one day Diabetes will be history. Love you guys. And gals. Of course.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Miss Congeniality

I don't feel like Miss Congeniality for the moment. I feel more like Miss Bluh or Miss Partypooper or Miss Grumpy. I've had it for the day. Too much nonsense, too much ugh. If only that sore back would get better. If only some people could be a bit more grateful. If only I would find the time to visit someone who could really do with a visit. There just isn't any time. And I hate it, when that happens. I hate it when I have to fill my days cleaning up clutter that isn't mine. I hate it, when people don't appreciate what you do for them. How you cancel your own fun and spare time, to help them out without any form of appreciation or acknowledgement. It's just one of those days. Or let me say: weeks..