Sunday, January 31, 2010

This is it

He's no longer amongst us, but then again he always will be. He was a very special man with an extremely unusual life. He's loved by many and despised by others. Either you love him or you don't, but nobody can deny he was extraordinary..

A tribute.. by inmates of the Philippines..

And your name is?

Today we're going to have another forum meeting. There's going to be 14 of us. Some of you know one another, some of you don't. It may be strange for some, to finally meet the faces behind the nick names. I can imagine them say: and your name is?

I'm sure we'll have another great day. We get along pretty well and we have one factor in common: diabetes. We talk to each other on a daily basis on the Internet, but every once in a while, we meet and enjoy the hugs and personal talks.

It will be a long drive for me, but I'm glad I'm going to have a companion by my side. We have made the trip before and having him in the car, made me forget about the long journey. We have a lot to talk about and time flies by.

I'm looking forward to seeing all of you around lunch! See you then!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Because I love you

Some friends have become real precious to me over the years. So precious that I would be devastated if anything would happen to them. They have become part of my life and we share a lot. They have become more than just a friend. Sometimes I want to tell them how much I love them. Nothing weird about loving a good friend, is there? It doesn't feel uncomfortable to me to tell my friends I love them. I'm still at ease giving them a meaningful, loving hug. I'm pretty open about loving my friends. Some people think that's kinda weird, but I don't care. As long as my friends don't see it as an awkward situation, I'll keep on doing whatever I'm doing.

We are living in a cold world where people no longer connect like they used to. People have become more selfish and withdrawn. I'm a people person and I like to hang out with my friends. Having good friends is something to nurture and invest in. Do you know the saying: you will know your friends when you need them the most? That's absolutely true.. By now, I know who my real friends are and I cherish them..


Don't worry, it's not a disease you've never heard off. But if you have whippets of your own, you will know that one might get affected by whippetitis. This breed is so special and unique, that you get addicted to having some. They are so much fun to be around and they bring love and joy into your home. If I can choose between different -itis's, I would definitely choose for whippetitis!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Mr Good Enough

I'm not a feminist, by no means. But I do like to be independent. I have been that way since I was a teenager. I had a weekend job from the moment I was thirteen. I wanted to make my own money so I would have my own money to spend. Having 3 jobs at the same time, was no problem for me. I always liked to work and keep busy.

I remember telling my friends I would never get married and I would certainly have no children. I didn't believe in eternal love and I couldn't imagine myself living with the same man for the rest of my life. Thinking of that way of life choked me. I was not a man-hater, absolutely not. I had boyfriends and some more longterm relationships. But not one of those men convinced me of spending a whole lifetime together.

In those days, I had not ever heard of Mr Good Enough. It would not even have drawn my attention, because I wasn't looking for a husband. I overheard my friends planning their wedding. I heard them talk about their future life: a husband, a house of their own, two children (a boy, followed by a girl), two cars in the driveway, a dog,.. I didn't share those dreams. I had no idea what they were talking about and why they were planning ahead so long in advance. We can't predict our future, so what's the use in creating one?
I lived day by day, without worrying about the future.

Once you are married with kids, things change. You start to think about the future, although we still can't predict it. But we try to make the best of it. We think about life in a different manner. Things that were priority once, seem trivial now. You set different goals and respect replaces passion. Very little couples remain as passionate as they were in their first years of dating each other. I think we wouldn't survive that much passion, honestly. Instead of passion, you look for comfort, for intimacy, for mutual respect, for friendship. Of course you still love one another and sometimes you are homesick for those faded passionate moments. Maybe your Mr Perfect has become Mr Great and in some cases, he's become Mr Good Enough. But as long as he's Mr Good Enough to you, you're fine. You wouldn't want to live with Mr Bad or Mr Nobody, would you?

Immediate gratification

What is happiness? What is it to you? Is it love? Is it a life without worries? Is it good health? Or is a family of your own your definition of happiness? Sometimes I ask myself: am I happy? I believe that is one of the most difficult questions to answer, because it has so many different definitions.

Little things can make me happy as a clam at high tide. A phone call from a dear friend, an interesting encounter with a total stranger, a glimpse of the sun behind the grey clouds, our new puppy welcoming me home. Does happiness last? It feels more like come and go. I compare it to the question: how is your diabetes management? Then I feel like saying: "at this very instant? this morning? before or after lunch?" Do you know what I mean? You can't feel happy all the time, can you?

The immediate gratification of a piece of Polish apricot cheesecake makes me happy.
My daughter performing ballet on stage makes my eyes tear up with happiness.
Endless conversations over lunch with a close friend, warm my heart.
Roaming around markets in a foreign country brings me pleasure..
Three great numbers in a row on my glucose meter make me proud and lead to a happy moment.
Sometimes, happiness is so overpowering that it's scary. It is scary, because you know it can't last for ever. That thought may dim your instant happy attitude, because you are aware of the fact it may be over soon. But please don't let it spoil the pleasure of the moment. We should enjoy and taste the good times we can have.

Our world is a world of abundance. We have too much luxury. We believe financial comfort makes us happy. And it will, to a certain point. It goes wrong when you are devastated once you run out of money. If you can still be happy after having lost all of your financial safety, it is considered true happiness. Because your happiness comes from within. You make your own happiness and it's not depending on materialism or someone else's mood. That's the kind of happiness I'm looking for..

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Beware of the whippet

It's hilarious! The two of you are racing around on the couch! You are trying to tame the little rascal, but she's just too energetic for you. You stand over her, but she's so tiny she can escape from your prison legs in no time. You give each other friendly bites and Inthe has the nerve to bark at you! You are not impressed at all and you scold her in dog language. Yesterday she was not big enough to jump on the couch herself, but she must have grown overnight. It doesn't even take an effort now to follow you all around the house. No more safe spots for you Rebba..

We went for a little walk in the garden. Haha! It's so funny to see this little twit discovering all bushes and shrubs. She goes absolutely mad! But that's exactly what you did on your first day in our home, Rebba. You've calmed down a lot since.

It's too cold for Inthe to go for a walk in town. She would need pyjamas or at least a little sweater. It'll take some time to raise her, but we'll get there Rebba, we'll get there. She won't be this energetic forever, I promise..

You freaked me out!

You had no idea why the principal called you late at night, to come to the conference room in the hallway of your school. She said your mom was there. She said you were going to be punished for something you did.. My poor girl.. there was no such thing as a punishment. Your sister and I were there to surprise you! We came over to show Inthe to you! You should've seen the look on your face when you entered the room: all terrified! We probably freaked you out! It took you an instant to realize why we were there.
But then you saw her and you fell in love instantly. Inthe loved you too. She was really relaxed and at ease, in this old school of yours. You picked her up carefully, while you dropped your coat on a chair. You stuck your nose into her fur and sniffed her puppy smell. You held her ears between your fingers and kissed her neck. You were so happy that we came over to show our new puppy to you. Of course you had seen her before, because you had picked her out of a nest of 6. But still, she had changed over the following weeks and you had only seen her once.

We were a little scared that Inthe might want to poop on the antique carpet, so we didn't put her down. We were looking for a flower pot, just in case she needed to pee badly. Lolz.. just imagine!
You called your two friends in, and they were as amazed as you were. They all loved little Inthe. But who wouldn't? She's adorable. And so are you!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A partner instead of a judge

You are a very warm and giving person. Helping out whenever you can. Standing by your best friend's side on a daily basis. Whenever a friend needs you, you're there. You are the least selfish person I have ever met. Always standby for people in need. You have only one flaw: you forget to take care of yourself.. You've never put yourself first. Your children and beloved ones come first and all good things you do in life, are meant for someone else. It never crosses your mind to ask for something in return. The help you offer is your immediate gratification.

Maybe it's time to think about you now. It's okay, there's nothing selfish about it. You deserve to treat yourself in the best way possible. You need a partner instead of a judge. Nobody needs to dictate your life. If someone knows what she wants out of life, it's you. You have been degraded just once too often. I can't believe someone has the nerve to pull you down and make you feel bad about yourself. All you do, is done out of love. What better motive can one have to live their life the best way possible?

I like to hang out with you. We have fun and we laugh a lot. I love to see the sparkle in your eyes when you talk about your children. It hurts me to see tears when you sob about pain and suffering in the lives of your loved ones. Did you know your heart's in the right place? Has anyone ever told you? You deserve to be loved by someone who can value you for the person you are. Because you are rare and unique and many people should look a little more after you.

Take your time. Hard times are coming up. You will need your friends. Ask for help when needed, don't be afraid. It will be an emotional journey. Just remember, you can ask friends to join you on your way..

It is never too late

I'm going back to school.. I always liked to go to school and I'm eager to learn. I'm not very good at studying, because it bores me, but my grades were pretty good most of the time.
This time, it's a different school I'm going to attend. It is nearby and I won't go full time, not even on a daily basis. I'm supposed to go twice a week. The teachers are not really teachers, but physiotherapists. They will show me how to take better care of my back. There are different appliances in the gym, that will make it possible for me to exercise without hurting my back. I can't believe I'm going to do this.. I'm so not into sports! But I know I have to.. I have hardly any muscle strength. Tests have shown that my muscle tone is nearly always the same. You should see a difference in muscle tone between when you make an effort and when you relax. My muscles are always tense. They don't relax, neither do they contract. Those weak muscles do not support my body. So I need to tone them up and make them stronger. It's going to take quite some effort. I'm bored already, thinking of the exercises I will have to do. I'm trying to be positive about it, but it's not working yet. We'll see. It will be a longterm project and I will have to do my exercises regularly, if I want to obtain those stronger muscles in my back and stomach. Maybe I should give it a chance.. I'll need all the support I can get, figuratively and literally spoken.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Flaunt your figure

You have left the country again. Although you keep in touch, I miss you. You are enjoying the sun, sitting on the beach near San Cristobal de la Laguna. What's in a name huh? A lot of sun and sea maybe? You are such a sparkling person. You have a lot of wisdom and I'm sure you are a fantastic mother and a loving grandmother. The way you think, the words you speak, the thoughts you share.. it all comes with the same flair and elegance.

When I think of you right now, I can see you flaunt your figure on the beach. I'm sure many men will turn their heads when they see you stroll near the coastline, picking up shells and little pebbles. I can see you doze off in a strand chair, a book in your lap, your shades on your tanned nose. You are still wearing your jewellery. You only take it off to put on sunscreen. A large royal hat protects your beautiful hair from the sun. I believe there's even a white ribbon around the hat. The swimsuit you picked out is a compliment to your body. Your perfectly manicured nails reach for a longdrink and a little drop of that exotic cocktail spills on your bronzed arm. You are so laid back and relaxed, that it affects the people around you in a positive way.

We miss you, my lovely friend. We miss your thoughts, we miss your laugh, we miss your wittiness. I hope you will have access to the Internet once in a while - maybe in between two laps in the pool - so we can enjoy the stories you write down for us. Thanks for being the person you are.

Inthe Pocket

Inthe Pocket should be your full name, instead of Fiefoerniek's Various Positions. You are hilarious, you little muppet! You could fit right into my pocket, that's how small you are. But you have the energy of a horse! and I tend to believe you eat like one too.
You race around the house, you bark at Rebba (whippets are not even supposed to bark, silly!), you chew on the furniture and you think you're supposed to hoover the house. Rebba is nacked, because of your never ending energy. And then, all of a sudden, the battery dies and you are the cutest sleeping beauty ever.

You will bring so much joy in this house. Maybe I should buy one of those doggy purses, to take you along on my trips? Would you like that?

Monday, January 25, 2010

We are not that different after all

You and I look a lot alike. We have similar minds and both of us are loving persons. We are not that different after all. I look more after you than I look after the person who gave birth to me. Your daughter and I have more in common than my sister and I ever did. At some stages in our life, we even looked alike! I have a better bond with your son than I ever had with my own brother. And your husband values me more than my father ever will.

I'm happy to have the four of you in my family. It sounds familiar to be around you and the love you give me is natural, true and sincere. There are no tricks nor booby traps. I never have to fear you will no longer love me. You would never hurt me on purpose. You have always done the right thing and treated me with respect. You were there for me, when times were rough and when I felt all alone. You are still there for me. We share the same disease - diabetes - and we can relate to one another when we have a hard time coping with it. We don't have to see each other every week, to know we love each other. I feel welcome at any time.

You are the godmother of my oldest daughter and you love her so much. She can feel that love and sometimes you text message each other. You should see my daughter's face light up when you text her. She's crazy about you...

Thanks for having us over. We had a ball yesterday! We laughed so hard tears were rolling down our cheeks. It warmed my heart to see you enjoy the day.. And what a surprise your son was there too! He's a sweetheart.. Too bad your daughter and her fiancee couldn't make it..
I wish your health were better, so you could come over to our place more often. Life hasn't been easy on you, but you cope and you try to make the best of it.
Maybe I was born in the wrong family? Or maybe I needed that other family to make me become the person I am now: independent, strong and loving, but at the same time a fighter for justice and righteousness. Anyway, I love you mammie and daddy.. you are very dear to me..

Nothing less and a whole lot more

I knew you and Rebba were going to be the perfect match! You are so adorable!!! It was pretty exciting to wait for your home coming, but you're here now and that's all that matters. You are so small, little Inthe.. I never thought we were actually going to have a puppy in this house. Especially not after we got the 3 yo Rebba first. We have talked about you with Rebba in the previous weeks. She's used to your name by now and I'm pretty sure she'll get used to you pretty soon. The two of you will make good friends and you will enjoy each other's company.

You have met all of us, except for the youngest one. She's in boarding school and she's very sad she will have to wait a week longer before she can meet you. But I'm working out a plan, so she gets to see you this Wednesday. I'll ask the principal of her boarding school, if she would allow us to surprise her with a visit on Wednesday.

Sweet little Inthe, you are nothing less and a whole lot more. We love you already!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Generous people

Our children have wonderful grandparents. They are very good with their grandchildren and each one of them is loved for who he or she is. It's become a habit, that grandma throws a birthday party for all of her grandchildren. She has plenty of cake to eat and candles to blow. All family members are invited and we enjoy the time together. There are cards and presents and we laugh and fool around. Grandma rocks! She is so generous and loveable and the kids love to hug her. It doesn't come as a surprise that grandma's house is the most favorite sleep over place. So every once in a while, a whole bunch of children ask grandma if they can spend the night with her. And grandma just loves to have them over. They watch movies together and grandma tells them stories about her childhood. Grandma may not be the best cook ever, talking about her cooking attempts are still a hot topic in the house. It's mainly a house full of fun and joy. And what more can a child ask for?

Sugar Drop

Sometimes people ask me what I feel when my sugar's low. I'm not really sure. Lately I don't always feel my sugars drop. But when I do feel it happen, my lips are stinging, I'm feeling very warm, my nose is cold and an ice cold breeze races through my body. I am hungry like a horse, I sweat heavily and my legs feel like rubber bands, making it hard to walk straight. My sugar drops have not yet caused a single stage of unconsciousness. I can still function when I experience a severe hypo, even if my meter reads a LO, meaning my sugar level is beLOw 20 mg/dl. That's the stage where things become more dangerous. You risk loosing consciousness and sliding into a diabetic coma is an option if you don't take action to raise your blood glucose.

I used to feel my hypo's real well. Since my control is getting better, I'm more used to "normal range numbers", meaning the differences between good numbers (80 mg/dl - 120 mg/dl) and lows (< 60 mg/dl) are not that phenomenal. If you are used to high numbers, like 300ish, the difference is so big, you can even start to show hypo signs at a number of let's say 110 mg/dl.

I have experienced quite some nightly lows lately. Lows that I wasn't aware of, until something in me finally warned me. It's scary. You do not want to end up in a diabetic coma.

The producer of Sugar Drop is a type 1 diabetic himself (join the club..). The movie is the first of three parts (it's a trilogy). The main character is a type 1 diabetic, who gets stuck in an elevator, after having shot up too large a dose of insulin. His sugar drops dramatically and he experiences a severe hypoglycaemia. He's all by himself in the elevator and he starts to hallucinate as a result of his low blood sugar.

Sugar Drop is a work of fiction, based on a real medical phenomenon. Whilst medically accurate, it uses cinematic devices to both enhance and exaggerate the subject material. It has been written with the express intention of raising awareness of diabetes related complications amongst the general public, as well as encouraging diabetics to discuss issues such as hypoglycaemia more openly. It is not the intention of the filmmakers to cause alarm or distress to patients with diabetes, their friends or family. Under no circumstances should the following groups of people watch the film or trailer: individuals under the age of 18 ; individuals who suffer with diabetes related mental health issues (anxiety/depression/..)

It will be frightening to go see the movie, but I do want to see it. I know it's sometimes scary for the people around me, to have them watch my sugar go low, but I have no idea what it looks like, seen from their point of view. So yes, I want to go see this movie as an outsider. Maybe I should take all my diabetic friends along, so we can feed each other glucose tablets when the commotion and emotions make us go low.. Do you think diabetics will get a discount in the movie theatre? Maybe they will sell glucose tablets and provide test strips during the break for all of us..lolz.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I think I'm going bonkers

Too much is going on. It's just too hectic. I don't know what to do first. Can't think, my head is stuffed with cotton balls..

Hold my hand

A new pair of shoes can never harm one. They don't have to be (that) expensive (not???). They have to be classy and high heels are a must. Comfortable shoes are for aged women. Trying out higher heels than I would normally wear, I want you to hold my hand to prevent me from tipping over. Wow.. they sure make me look taller. Aren't those red soles similar to the Christian Louboutin shoes?? Do you think silk stockings would look nice in those pumps? I want to go out on a date.. I treated myself on a pair of stunning black Nicky Vankets and a pair of crocodile pumps.. aaarrgghhh...

Friday, January 22, 2010

As blind as a bat

Some men are so blind.. They have a beautiful wife, great kids, a lovely home, a good job.. Is it their instinct that makes them glance at other women? Is it age? Is it insecurity that makes them want another woman to pay attention to them and praise them for their masculinity? Or are men hunters by nature?

I listen to my lady friends. I hear about their men no longer noticing their wives. It's nothing new. This behavior has existed for ever. The first excuse couples have, is that they have no time for each other. Ask any man with an affair, how much time he spends on his mistress.. right.. Lame excuse.. All of a sudden, it's no problem to skip sports classes or a drink with the mates. They don't mind doing groceries, if that gives them the chance to make a phone call to the miss(tr)es. Isn't it sad, that they are not prepared to take the day off to spend a great day with you, if you hear how many days off they took to rush to the mistress..

But I agree: a mistress doesn't nag about dirty socks on the bathroom floor. She doesn't bother him with stories about the children's mischief. She doesn't care if the only thing he does around the house, is lift his feet when his wife hoovers around him. The other woman is there for good times. She's there to pamper him and give him what he needs.. I don't think I need to say what he needs.. That's pretty obvious.

Do you think those men ever wonder how their wives feel? Would they realise the wives may be bored too? Maybe the wives could use some extra attention as well. A happy wife makes happy husbands. If only men could see that. Some extra attention during the day, an unexpected bunch of flowers, a sassy text message at work, a surprise evening out without the kids.. it may all lead to what made them look for a mistress in the first place.

Life is complicated. It really is.. Maybe us women should buy our own pillow like the one on the picture. It gives us a hug and a shoulder whenever we need one.

Men think only they are entitled to sexual needs. Well guess what: you are not the only one! Maybe women should have a lover too. To experience what their men enjoy, while their wives are cooking dinner and putting their husband's meal in the oven for him to eat when he comes home.
Maybe women would also enjoy the alone time with a lover, without kids hassling them. Time with a man who adores them, who compliments them, who talks with them and surprises them. Time with a man who worships the floor they walk on, who notices their new hairdo, who is excited about their fancy shoes...
The knife cuts both ways..

What I couldn't do without..

We have access to all the luxury available and we have no financial problems. I can buy what I want and we don't have to ask ourselves if we have money left to buy the essentials. But not one of these material items can replace good friends. So the title of my topic should be: who I couldn't do without..

Today is a I'm-going-to-meet-a-friend-day. I have been looking forward to today for more than a month. It'll do us good to go out for the day, to let our thoughts drift off in the air. We understand each other without words, but we talk and talk and talk until we run out of time. And then we are not yet satisfied. Girlz..

I'll pick you up in an hour. Get ready. I'll bring some munchies. Made a dozen of English muffins for you and some ricotta pastizzi. Make sure you have an extra hug for me. That's all I need. And I'm sure you're looking forward to one too.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Living on the edge

I'm tired. I'm so tired. I can't go to bed at a decent time, but I really need to get some sleep. My back is still hurting and I'm glad the chiropractor brings me some relief.

Last night, I had another LO on my meter, meaning my blood sugars dropped below 20 mg/dl. That's scary. You are hanging between consciousness and unconsciousness and it seems like life is running out of your body. A cold wind is racing through your body and you feel shaky and shivery. My lips were stinging and my legs felt like rubber. I don't like to see LO on my meter, because it is so scary. On the other hand, I'm glad I have a meter!

The other day, I watched a video on India and Kenya. Diabetes is so common in those countries and medical supplies so poor. Many people cannot afford a meter or even insulin. As a type 1 diabetic, you are not entitled to a long life if you live in poverty. It's sad. Many young children have this disease in Kenya and India. I feel for them. I can use my meter and my insulin pump to control D. They can't.

So who's living on the edge here?

I've got you under my skin

There is something about you, that is so intriguing, that keeps drawing my attention. I can't let go of you. Maybe I don't even want to let go of you. We keep in touch and we mail back and forth on occasions. This week, I even planned on visiting you twice and it's no effort to do so. It's my pleasure.
I don't always agree with the choices you make, but that's okay. I try to respect them and treat you like the adult you are. You have made this one particular choice in life. To you, it's the best choice ever. To many others, it's the most stupid thing you could do. But you hang on and I admire you for that. You don't give a darn about other people's opinions. You are convinced that whatever you did, was the right thing to do.

Due to circumstances, things have not exactly turned out the way you had expected. But as usual, you will find a way to resolve the issues. I just hope it won't take too long, because to you, time is crucial.

You're a very special lady. You know you are. I know you are. And that's all it takes.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A pleasant pastime

I wish I could have given you a more pleasant pastime, than taking you to the doctor's this afternoon. All week you are in boarding school and you are not supposed to leave school, unless you have a doctor's or dentist's appointment. Some parents try to find an excuse to pick up their daughter on Wednesday afternoon, to spend some time together. That's not easy on the other children that need to stay in all week, so I don't want to break that rule if I don't have too.

I picked you up at noon and we went out for lunch together. Did some shopping afterwards. But the real reason you came home today, was because you needed to see the ophthalmologist. You had this little wart on your eye lid and it had been bugging you for more than over one year. You wanted to have it removed. So we finally had the chance to make an appointment for you.

The visit was not that pleasant though. You liked the examinations. Reading out loud the letters the doctor showed you, was fun. But then she took you to her other office, where she stuck a needle in your eye lid (ouch!). You needed some local anaesthesia so you wouldn't feel her cutting away the wart. You cried, my baby.. it hurt big time. The anaesthesia made your eye lid swell up immediately. It sedated your eye though and you didn't feel any of the cutting. It was not a pretty sight, you know.. Little blood, but painful for you. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but at least you're wart-free now. Twice a day, you need to apply a drop of ointment, to help prevent it from infecting.

You did great kiddo. And I promise: I will come pick you up one Wednesday, for a more pleasant pastime.. Just don't tell your principal, okay?

Getting through day by day

I have to wait. I have to be patient. Patience is not my best virtue. In fact, I'm a real impatient person.
It's getting harder though. Every day I wake up, thinking of what lays ahead of me. I would like to set a date, so I can start the countdown. The waiting is killing me. Not knowing whether the deal will go through or not. I know it was good to make me wait. I'm an impulsive person and sometimes I do things in the heat of the moment. This time, I have to really think about what's going to happen, because it will affect me for the rest of my life. It will probably affect me as a person as well. It's a decision I have to make all by myself. People can give me advise and tell me their experiences, but in the end, I'll be the one who has to go through with it or drop it.

The waiting is taking too long though. I want to move on and start my new life. I hope to have reached my goals by the end of the year. That means I shouldn't wait many more months.

There are some upcoming events I would like to attend, before I make one of the biggest decisions in my life. It'll be a tough time afterwards, and it scares me. I know what to expect, but then again, we're all different. It scares me, because I have a family and two children. I do not want to regret my decisions, but I know I have to go through with it. I have people who back me up and who will catch me whenever there's a chance I might fall. I'm pretty confident I will have the support I need. I just want to get it over with, so I can start working on my future. It will boost my confidence and my self-worth. It will help me get healthier. It will lift my overall well being to a higher level. It will help me in my diabetes management. I just know it's the right thing for me to do. But that doesn't make it less scary..

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Silent conversations

I don't believe in coincidence. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes you run into someone you would never have spoken to, if you had met that person in a different spot at a different time. But for some reason, you start talking to this stranger and it doesn't come as a surprise that you have so much in common.
I believe that there is something out there, that connects people without telling us. It's our job to find the people we are connected to. That's just part of the game. See it like we are bonded by invisible strings. Somehow we are attached to each other, by something that is not visible for us humans. We have silent conversations without knowledge. And then we meet. And it's like we have known each other forever!
Your new best friend might tell you things, that don't sound new to you. It all comes so natural. It may be scary at times, to find an alleged stranger know so much about you. You may be more connected to this person than to someone you have known for ages!

I don't fight these encounters, I embrace them. I believe there are people out there we are supposed to meet, to teach us about the person we are. I'm ready to have some more silent conversations..

In a blink of an eye

We met some 17 years ago. I was living in Chelmsford, Massachusetts, taking care of two young boys. My time in the US was running out and I was planning to head back home. You were the next au pair in line and you were going to be the last one as well. It was a good idea that you came a little early, so we could have a talk before I left. We did some activities together and the boys didn't understand a word we said. We were both kindergarten teachers and both of us came from the Flemish part of Belgium. We got along pretty well. Did you know that I still have pictures of us?

We lost track of one another for many years and I didn't have your coordinates. But then there was Facebook. We got in touch again and I was amazed to read your blog.. In a blink of an eye, your world was turned upside down. On the job, you bumped into a little chair and the bruise it gave you, didn't go away. You would have nose bleeds that lasted 1 hour and your period was fiercer than ever. You wanted advise from your GP and she wanted to have your blood work done. You could call her in a couple of days to hear the results, but the next day, your GP called you. She wanted you to rush to ER, where doctors were waiting for you. You were told you had a rare form of acute leukaemia. You had to stay in the hospital for at least 5 weeks, starting chemotherapy right away. Wow.. my eyes started to tear up when I read your story, my friend. You are such an optimist and your life hasn't been easy so far. But you are a fighter and that's what helped you through. For 3 long years, you were affected by cancer of the blood, but you never gave up. Your perseverance and strong character made you a survivor. You are such a good person, a good mom to all your pets (and you have soooooooooo many) and a good friend.

I hope to come visit you one day soon. We have so much to talk about. Looking forward to that!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Medical Miracles

A wonderful breakthrough for all diabetics, but especially type 1 diabetics: the artificial pancreas. Being a type 1 diabetic myself, this is the ultimate dream... just imagine, living your life like a person with a working pancreas. I can't remember what that was like, but it sounds heavenly. No more poking your fingers 6 - 8 times a day , no more changing catheters or insulin cartridges. No longer worrying about hypo or hyperglycaemia. No more counting carbs, no more worrying about having an extra bite for some extra activity. Wow..

Some people get the chance to test this new device at Hope Hospital, LA. A sensor attached to the abdomen, monitors the blood glucose level constantly (that's the sensor I'm wearing full time but is not covered by insurance yet), sending the information to a computer programme, which determines how much insulin is delivered through her insulin pump.

The device could be available in the next 5 - 10 years. That means there's a good chance I could still enjoy a life without the diabetes hassle. Nice!

Forbidden fruits

He was about to get married to a beautiful young woman. He was totally mad about her. She had a younger sister.. a very cute girl, with a small waistline. The sister would never wear a bra and she would flirt with him on occasions. He was a man after all and the attention flattered him.
A couple of weeks before the wedding day, his sister-in-law invited him over. She wanted to go through the wedding invitations with him. He was hesitant at first, but the thought of this attractive young girl was too appealing not to go. As soon as he entered her house, the girl started to flirt with him. She was teasing him and telling him how handsome he were. She told him she had been longing for him. She was there for him, if he felt the need.. She slowly went up the stairs, wiggling her hips. Her bum looked great in that mini skirt.. She bent over and dropped her panties.. He was all sweaty and his heart beat went up. But he turned on his heels and ran out the door.. to see his inlaws in front of the house, congratulating him for resisting the temptation. His soon to be bride was over the moon that he had not given in on her sister..

Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in your car..

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I was blindfolded but now I'm seeing

I'm learning about me, about the person I am and about the person I want to be. Therapy was pretty fierce. I knew it was going to be confrontational, but this is not what I had expected. It was my first time in this center and the therapists are still in training. The leading therapist was nearby, to jump in whenever we needed him. And that's exactly what he did..

My CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitoring) is normally my weatherglass. It tells me how I feel. My sugar levels go up if I am aggravated and they come down real fast when I'm emotional. I think my sensor has seen both mountains and valleys today..

The therapist was real resolute and made me think out loud and speak my worst fears. At some point, I was so sick to my stomach, that the emotions made me throw up.
I now realize why I had my uterus removed and that really made my stomach turn upside down. I had never looked at it in that manner, but it makes sense. I can relate to the explanation.

We talked about dreams and nightmares and I was asked to tell them my reoccurring nightmare. I didn't want to talk about it at first, because I know it hurts me to even think of it. But I'm there to get help, so I had to bite the bullet. It was hard and difficult, but it felt good to have it off my chest. The therapist reassured me, that it was a reflection of my worst fear and how I felt about this one particular person.

I'm impressed by the intensity of these techniques. I'm more than willing to go through with it. The snowball has started its run downhill and is not to be stopped. I know it will help me move on in life and see things in another perspective. And that's what I want. To appreciate myself for who I am and to let go of the persons who let me down and humiliated me on numerous occasions. I have to forgive myself and start to believe this is not what I wanted. I deserve better..

I was so relieved my friend was waiting for me after the therapy session. She was there at the right time, to catch me and comfort me and tell me things were going to be okay in the end. She's an angel..

A road untravelled

A good friend of mine is also a therapist. I like to talk about therapy and exploring new horizons whenever I'm in her presence. She has given me the titles of some good books to read (f.i. Brandon Bays) and she's always in some kind of program to learn more about different therapies.

She has invited me to a course she's following. They had asked for volunteers, as she is completing her course to be a therapy coach. It's very interesting, but scary at the same time. I filled out the form they needed with my back ground. The coach is supposed to talk to you about the past and about subjects that keep you busy. She wanted to know about my goals in life and about emotions that keep haunting me. Just thinking about filling out this list, makes me nervous. But I guess it's a good thing, to get over some things that have happened in the past and then move on.

It is a road untravelled for me, but I believe it will help me see things in perspective. It will help me become a better person and it will help me relax. So what's wrong with that?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Get if off your chest

Friendship is important. It really is. You don't always realize how much you need your friends. They are there for you, whenever you feel low. You share intimate moments, you laugh, you go out and talk your way to the stars. They know when you're in trouble. They call you when you need them the most. A hug is given easily and can be such a comfort. I wouldn't know what to do without my friends..

Friends stick with you, no matter what. You can tell your deepest secret, without them running off. Friends don't judge you, they take you for who you are. Friends let you be who you are. Never take a friend for granted.. a good friend is rare and very special..

The worst case scenario

My dear friend... the text message you sent me last night, made my heart stop for an instance. Then it made me shiver and my blood sugar dropped instantly to a low 59 mg/dl. You could have been dead.. Your car was hit in the rear end while driving home from work. I'm so glad you are still here amongst us. Thank goodness you sold the sports car and bought the safest car ever.. things could have turned out a lot uglier. I don't even want to think of the worst case scenario..

You are so precious and you mean so much to me. The accident will affect you, that's for sure. You already had back problems...
a whiplash and some more back injuries will not do that any good. You must be so sore now. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. I'm so happy you're alive sweetie. Shoot.. I don't know what to say. My eyes tear up.. I'm glad you had a guardian angel.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Hot dog

Word goes that whippets are very fast runners. You couldn't keep up with them racing. But before you get them going..
The laziest dog in the nation is laying beside me, smelling of warmth, under her favorite blanket. Her nose is sticking out and resting on my shoulder, while I'm typing this blog. She's just such a couch potato! She does move around. If you fill up her food bowl or open the fridge, she'll be faster than your shadow. She's more like a Garfield in that manner, although she's a lot skinnier.

She just loves to relax and dream her dreams and watch TV. She will make herself comfortable on the couch, although she has a bench and a dog bed. As soon as someone else sits down on the couch, she will snuggle up against that person, making motions like she would want to crawl inside of you! The smaller the place she can lay down on, the more she likes it. She's just so warm and soft. And she makes little noises in her sleep. That's just wicked! Her lips go up and down and this "rweet rweet" noise is hilarious. Not that she's aware of it.. she just continues her dreams.

Going for a walk with a whippet is great fun! It takes some effort to convince them. Most dogs are thrilled when they see their leash. They jump up and down and bark and wag their tails. Not this dog.. not Rebba. If you ask her to get ready to go for a walk, she will open one eye and give you a dirty look. She will close that eye again and hide her head under a pillow - you can't see me!! Playing peek-a-boo is part of the walking-ritual. You have to put her collar on while she's still laying down. Pick her up and put her on her four legs to help her realise it's for real!
And then she gets it!! But hey??? Isn't everyone coming along? Hello? I'm not going by myself, am I?? She keeps looking back at the people that stay behind, as she's trying to say: keep my bed warm for me!! I'll be back soon!

Don't think she doesn't enjoy the walks, because she really does. She races and fools around and has a great time. But she's as happy to come home again, so she can crash on the couch and continue where she left off..

The ugly side of human nature

People should say "chocolate" or "beer" when they think of Belgium. But they think "Dutroux". They think "Flanders versus Wallonia". And nowadays, they think "serial killer", they think Ronald Janssens.

Nobody ever expected this high school teacher to be a monster. His pupils adored him, his colleagues thought of him in a positive way, his friends liked to have an outing with RJ. But there was also another side to him. A side that you could read about in books or watch in a movie. Just look at him.. He looks as normal as any John, Dick or Harry. I don't even want to post his picture on my blog, because I don't want to give him any credit. He doesn't even look like a murderer! But then again, what does a serial killer look like?? Isn't that scary? That your very own neighbor is a beast? That the man next door kills you and your boyfriend, because he's sick of getting bullied? Because that's what he says.. That Kevin Paulus bullied him once too much. So he and his girlfriend - Shana Appeltans - didn't deserve to live any longer.. Hello??? What was he thinking? That he could get away with it? Okay, he got away with his previous murder of Annick Van Uytsel. Or at least he must have thought he was way too smart for the rest of world. Nobody was going to figure out he was a serial killer. But he miscounted there. They did catch him. Too bad they couldn't catch him any sooner. Because he had been profiled before, in the murder of Annick Van Uytsel in 2006. They didn't think much of it, so he was never questioned. They could have caught him back then. It would have saved the young lives of Kevin and Shana..

How many more secrets will come bubbling up in the weeks to come? There are some more unsolved murders in our small country. Think of Kim and Ken Heyrman, think of Katrien Decuyper, Tamara Morris and several other young murdered women. He confessed having raped and assaulted many young women, all the way back when he was still a student. But did he also murder some of his victims? It's sad, it's just so sad.

To be continued.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Downsize me

You cannot watch TV without seeing all the diet programs. It's interesting to watch those shows, because they teach you about a healthy lifestyle, exercise, diet. It's shocking to see what some people indulge, but then again, what would your table look like if one would show all the food you have in one week? Would it look colorful and interesting and healthy, or would it be packed with crap and junk food and monotonous food choices?

When you go to the supermarket, there are so many different foods to choose from. Do you know what foods are good for you? Or do you think whatever you like is good for you? Because I start to believe - after watching those shows - it all comes down to habit. Overweight people often crave carbs and fat. They do not eat vegetables or healthy proteins. Some of them have hardly ever heard of fruit and veggies! One day there was an overweight lady who ate onions as vegetables and that was about it. The rest of her diet consisted of French fries, take away, curry dishes, cookies, crisps, bread, pies,..
In the program, the overweight person is asked to change his diet, that will consist of healthy proteins, veggies and fruit, and unsaturated fats. Another person - called the diet dummy - takes over the diet of the overweight person. Need I tell you that person one starts to loose weight and the dummy gains weight?

It's not all about food. It's about exercising as well.
It's not all about outer appearance. It's about a healthy weight and a healthy body.
Fat will be replaced by muscles, if you exercise and eat healthy. No pain, no gain huh. Bringing the intensity levels of the exercise up, will help burn calories, because muscles burn fat.

There's no use pointing at overweight people. You don't become overweight by choice. It doesn't happen overnight either. You gain weight over the years and getting it off is much harder than gaining weight. Try not to judge people by their weight. They're having a hard time already, without you scolding them.. They need all the support and motivation they can get. Being overweight leads to cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes. You don't want to go there. Trust me.

Bring it on

My friend and I are both ecstatic about cooking and eating delicious meals. We prefer home cooked meals, but we do like to go out for lunch once in a while.
I was thinking of a dish she has made for me on several occasions: golabki. Don't ask me to pronounce the word, because I suck. I have pretty good language skills, but Polish is not one of them. There are some words I can pronounce, but most of these are not meant to say on the Internet.

So golabki. Stuffed cabbage rolls. I prefer golabki, because the English translation does not sound as appetising as the Polish word. Go-lab-ki. It takes a whole lot of work to cook them, but they are definitely worth it. I remember I hesitated to taste them at first, since I'm not a huge cabbage lover (I do love red cabbage though), but my friend convinced me to have some. And I must say: it's delicious! The cabbage leaves are cooked, one at a time, before you stuff them with a moist filling of minced meat, rice, tomatoes and spices like juniper and grounded bayleaf. Once all of the leaves have their filling, you arrange them side by side in an oven dish. You make a fresh tomato sauce to cover them and then you bake this delicacy in the oven.

I prefer to have them cold, right out of the fridge. It's probably the smell of warm cabbage that is not very appealing to me. But that doesn't matter. I eat mine cold.
Once in a while, my friend makes this dish for my family. Hubby loves the way she makes golabki. I can never mimic her. Mine will always be a little different and have a more Flemish touch to them. But that's okay. It's some sort of comfort food. And it reminds me of my good friend..

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Cute as a cupcake

Oh sweetie! You're 6 weeks old now and you're as cute as a cupcake! The Dutch owner who has been looking after you and your siblings, sent us an email that we may expect you around January 25. That's a week sooner than we thought and we are really thrilled! Just look at you! You are still so tiny, but you look so smart and gorgeous..! I'm so looking forward to having you. You will be spoilt rotten, I can assure you!

The smell of a fresh puppy is something you can't compare to anything else. They are all warm and cuddly and energetic. Our daughters have been telling all their friends about little Inthe - yes that's going to be her name - and I'm sure we'll have a lot of visitors in the near future.

Lana and I like to listen to Arabian music. In the car, we have a Moroccan CD and in one of our favorite songs, the word "inte" keeps coming back. We were singing along when we looked each other in the eye and nodded at the same time: this was going to be Baby's name.. We have no idea what "inte" means, but there's a nice sound to it. We changed it a little bit, to make it look more like a name, and it became "Inthe". Inthe and Rebba. Not bad huh? Your pedigree name is Fiefoerniek's Various Positions. Pretty fancy huh?

Rebba thinks she's a mommy. She's carrying around her little "child" and making nests for it. In two weeks, she will have a puppy to mother around. I'm so anxious to see how she will enjoy this little creature!

I'll be in my office

I would like to have an office. Sounds pretty professional, doesn't it? I would keep my recipes in there, my cookery books, my Apple Notebook, all my stationary,..
I could work there on making my own cookery book. Maybe a book for diabetics?
A sweet little girl sent me an email the other day. It had been her birthday and she was given her own little kitchen apron and cookie cutters. She was dying to make her own cookies! Finding a good recipe is not a problem, if you don't have diabetes.. This little girl is a diabetic. She would love to make sugar free cookies. I'm very willing to help her out. It's a challenge. Cookies need sugar and without it, they do not come out the way you want them to be. Because we know what sugar cookies taste like and we want to come as close as possible.
It's a challenge, but I'm sure I'll come up with a great recipe!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sounds familiar

We have always known you as a very sensitive girl. Even when you were a little girl, you were high sensitive. Every emotion you experience, you experience to the fullest. I never expected it to translate itself into physical sensitivity.
We went to see a physiotherapist to help you with the constant knee pain. There is a dysfunction in both your knee caps, to some extend. The main problem is that you are very sensitive to pain.. We never realised that. The doctor acknowledges your pain. It's there all right. She won't deny that. But you need to find another way to deal with it, so it doesn't turn into spasmophilia or fibromyalgia. She would like you to do exercises to build up more muscles around the knee cap. That's the first step. But that's not the only thing. You need to learn how to relax and let your mind make a detour as soon as pain comes in the picture. You need to distract your brain and tell it you're not hurting. If you are not prepared to do that, every little touch of pain will become gigantic. And that's not the kind of life we have in mind for you. Neither do you..

You can definitely start exercising again. Slowly and without overdoing it. You're happy you will be able to go back to dance class. No more trampoline jumping, and running will never be the best sport for you, but there are plenty of other sports to discover. Swimming and biking would be better for you. We'll help you as much as we can. I hope you will find a way to distract your mind. We love you sweetie. Hang in there. Things will get better. I promise.

Flash some flesh

Forget it! I would never ever go naked to show others how comfortable I feel about my own body. Because I don't feel good about my body at all. Knowing that I'll have to get in my underwear to stand on the doctor's scale on my next doctor's visit, makes my heart rate pulse even harder.
Why do doctors do that? Do they really think you don't know your weight??? As if?
So no. I'm not a flesh flasher. By no means. And I don't think I'll ever be one. Not that I'd want to be one. I think..

Monday, January 11, 2010

Take it easy

You are such a lazy tomcat, Arthur. But we love you so much!

You haven't been feeling too well lately. In fact I took you to the vet Friday night. For a whole week, you have been
roaming around the house, meowing and not finding the right spot to lay down and nap.
You have declared all flowerpots as litter boxes, until you peed blood in a clear container that was sitting on the kitchen counter top. That was the signal you wanted to give us: HELP ME!

You have peed blood before. It's been a while though. It must have been in 2007. We were out for the weekend and the neighbor took care of you. We came back on a Sunday night and were happy to see you. You were meowing and doing all kinds of things you normally didn't do. Until you sat down in our newspaper basket and peed... We were not happy with you doing that and I picked you out of the basket, to scold you. And then I saw the blood... it was a puddle of blood back then. That was so scary!! I called the vet right away, but she was not on duty. She told us to find another vet, in another town. So we did. You had X-rays, ultrasound and a thorough examination. The vet thought you had kidney stones. But you didn't. While you were sedated, they could tell you were very stressed. In stress moments, you pee blood. You damage your own bladder in distress.. The vet put you on antibiotics and you temporarily had to eat special nutrition to heal your bladder. But as I said, that was some 3 years ago.

This time, our vet assumed it could be stress peeing again, but she wanted to make sure you didn't have any kidney stones. After all, it had been 3 years without any problems of that kind. So she sedated you and examined you, took some X-rays and an ultrasound. Same old problem: stress peeing. Do you need a therapist now, Arthur? What's causing your distress?

You drink (nothing but water out of the fish bowl or straight from the tap), you eat your diet nutrition and you sleep a lot. I hope you are not in pain. You stopped digging in the flowerpots. I feed you your antibiotics if you expect it the least. Because you are way too smart. Pills in minced meat or in yogurt can't fool you. You eat around it. So when you're fast asleep, I open your mouth, put the tablet in your throat and close your mouth for a few seconds. You can't do much else but swallow. I know it's no fun for you, but it's the only way to make sure you have your meds.

Hang in there buddy. You'll get better. You just have to..

Reach out and touch

Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand
Make this world a better place
If you can

Take a little time out of your busy day
To give encouragement
To someone who's lost the way
Or would I be talking to a stone
If I asked you
To share a problem that's not your own
We can change things if we start giving
Why don't you

If you see an old friend on the street
And he's down
Remember his shoes could fit your feet
Try a little kindness you'll see
It's something that comes very naturally
We can change things if we start giving

Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand
Make this world a better place
If you can..

This is my message for the year 2010.
I hope you will find a piece of you in these lines.
I know it sounds appealing to me.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Time to tighten the belt

Last night, we went out to dinner with our beautiful teen daughters. I'm so proud of them! They are doing real well in school and both of them are caring and loving and respectful.
We picked a beautiful restaurant nearby. It used to be an old convent and the children had not been there before. As soon as we entered the restaurant, our eyes couldn't do much else but notice the welcoming fire place and the exceptional interior of the building.
We were welcomed by the maître d'hotel in a very pleasant way. He showed us to our table. We were invited to take a glance at the menu, that was totally different from our last visit. I was looking forward to the eggplant feta croquettes though, but the new menu was as promising. So I decided to have a duet of warm and cold foie gras as a starter. And that was a very good choice. The cold foie gras truffles were rolled in poppy seeds and that was surprisingly good! I'm not a Belgian endives lover, but the honey braised endive that accompanied the warm foie gras, was most delicious.
The chef had baked mini whole wheat rolls and they were crisp and tender at the same time. I'm not supposed to eat much bread, because I have slow digestion, but these bread rolls were so good I couldn't resist having some.. And they didn't bother my stomach at all!
My main course was steamed cod on a bed of spinach, mash and fried leeks. The fish was cooked perfectly. I'm a fish lover and this dish was very delicious!
I should've realised by then I had had enough, but I was looking forward to dessert. Nothing sweet, because having read the menu I remembered there was a cheese platter. And I crave cheese! The cheese platter could've been a bit more adventurous. I had a piece of Gruyère, some cheddar and a blue cheese. I missed a special cheese and some fruit or nuts. But it was plenty.
I love my Latte Macchiato and I had one to end the night out. We enjoyed our dinner and the outing. I'm not budging any more tonight..
Our children were happy as well. They love to go out for dinner and they prefer fancy dinners over hot dogs and popcorn. They were pretty impressed by the beauty of the building and the excellent dinner.

To be recommended: Antonia's Brasserie


In every school you will find rabble-rousers. A little mischief can be funny and will not distress too many people. But some kids are just over the top and mischief is no longer what they intend. Some kids have no boundaries and no longer know the difference between right or wrong. That's not a thing from this century only. Even way back then, there were rabble-rousers, I'm sure there were. Maybe they were called a different name and maybe they were not in school. But they were around. Rabble-rousers are not per definition bullies. They just want to prank jokes. Maybe they're bored, maybe they're just comedians. What's the reason behind their mischief? Should they be stopped? Should someone step in and tell them they should straighten their act? I don't know. I think it depends on the situation.

I love to hear my children tell school time stories. They may think they are rabble-rousers, but they are definitely not. They want to be hip and act cool and sometimes their friends convince them to prank a joke. But I'm sure they have never had the intention to hurt anyone or be bad. They're good girls. I'm lucky. They have not broken windows in school and neither have they violated the school's rules. I hope things will stay that way. That would mean our girls know their boundaries...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Make up doesn't have to look made up

I hear men don't like make up. I also hear they are starting to wear make up themselves. So what's going on? Are they jealous? Are they trying to reidentify themselves and show their feminine side? I agree women shouldn't overdo on the make up. But a little make up won't harm them, will it? I think it's rather posh to wear subtle make up: a thin coat of non-clogging mascara, a firm eyeliner, lip gloss, eye brow gel.. nothing wrong with that. I'm less fond of thick layers of pancake and bright red lipstick. Do you ever see those elder ladies with layer after layer after layer of pancake? Or a red smudge on the teeth because once again they forgot they already put lipstick on? I always tell my girls to tell me if my make up look is overdone. I normally keep make up for special occasions. Since I still don't have any wrinkles at the age of 38 - thank you for the applause, you may sit down now - I don't use any tricks trying to hide them. I wouldn't mind put on some essential make up on a daily basis. In fact - although I'm not in to New Year's Resolutions - I should start putting on a daily make up. Why not?

Bed head

I don't like to wash my hair at night. Even if I blow dry it, it won't hold till the next day. Aren't you happy you are already married, if you wake up and come downstairs looking like crap? Or do you look picture perfect like a movie star jumping out of bed? Well.. get over it, I don't. I wake up with a bed head, bad breath, sleepy eyes and messy hair. That's what makes you long for a nice and warm shower, just to rinse the bedbugs away. I remember the old days, where I wouldn't let my boyfriend see me until I had showered. The luxury of being married, is that you can show your bed head to your other half, because he knows you and he's seen you before. He knows it's part of the morning ritual and he won't hate you for it. But you feel so much better after you got rid of the bed head! Time to hop into the shower!!!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Muffin Bellies and Biscuit Hips

Need I say more? Oh please. Tell me you know exactly what I'm talking about. Ever seen a girl in a skinny jeans, that is just way too skinny for her body, so her belly hangs over it? To make the picture complete, they wear short tops, showing of the piercing in their belly button. Ugh. Really.
Ever opened a carton of crescent roll dough? Know what it looks like when you break it open? Right. The dough pops out of the carton, just in the middle. That's exactly what Biscuit Hips look like.. I hate it when excess fat peeps out of your clothes. Sometimes we want to dress to the latest fashion, but not all of the ideas are meant for all kinds of silhouettes. If you're chubby, skinny jeans and lowcut jeans are just not meant for you. Neither are belly button shirts or tank tops. Try to find clothes that fit you well and make you look your best.
Imagine taking all of your clothes to the local laundrette. Would you dare hang all of your clothes on the clothesline? Not? Then it's time to move on and bin the no-no's. Get over it. There's more to life than excess fat..

Keep it or bin it

I'm so looking forward to clearing out my dresser. So many things I never wear anymore, because it no longer fits or because it's dated. I'm normally not puzzled to figure out which things I want to keep or bin. But this time, I have no idea. I shouldn't bin all of the clothes that are too small or outdated. I might need them somewhere soon. I can't keep buying new clothes all the time. There are too many different sizes in my wardrobe already.
As soon as my back is better, I want to give it a try. I'll let you know the outcome.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Drop-dead gorgeous

My friend is gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous. She came to my place this morning around 8:00 AM because she was going to help me get the dog to the clinic. Even that early in the morning, she looked sparkly and shining and just wonderful. Her hair always looks perfect, as does her make up and it seems like all of her clothes have never been worn before. She's slim and has a firm body. Above all, she has a vibrant and energetic personality. We always need to catch up in between trips, because she and her partner are abroad most of the time. So whenever she's in Belgium again, we meet and take our time to chat. She's still on a healthy diet and she exercises - she runs! Wow.. I look up to her for that part of her life. I wish I could motivate myself to do the same thing. But it's so not me.. Anyway, I'm happy for her. She looked great and she gave me new energy!

Take care now

My sweet girl..
I'm taking you to the hospital today. You need surgery, in a specialized clinic in Holland. You have no idea what's about to happen. How could I tell you? Would you have understood? I don't think so. You have to be in by 9:00 AM and you had to be completely sober. Meaning no more food/drinks after 9:00 PM the day before surgery. You love your breakfast and you had a hard time missing it. You must be pretty thirsty by now as well. But it's for your own good sweet heart. I do not want you to be sick because of a full stomach. You went to the bathroom before we left and you were shaking and trembling and you gave me that sad look, as if you knew what was going to happen. You were not as ecstatic as usual to get in to the car. You sat down in the back. My friend joined us, because we cannot pick you up before 2:00 PM. So we want to go out and buy you a treat, for when you wake up.
Hang in there sweet Rebba. Take care. You'll be just fine. You won't be able to get pregnant anymore, but it'll be the best thing for you.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Holy guacamole!

I love guacamole! Not the store bought stuff, nothing but the real thing. I love my guacamole smooth, not chunky. In fact, I would love to have some right now!
  • 3 avocados, peeled, pitted and mashed
  • juice of 1 lime (not lemon)
  • pinch of salt
  • 1 small onion, finely chopped
  • freshly chopped cilantro
  • 2 tomatoes, seeded and diced
  • 1 clove of garlic, finely minced
  • a pinch of cayenne pepper
Mash the avocados with the lime juice and the salt. Mix in onion, cilantro, tomatoes and garlic. Stir in cayenne pepper. Cover with cling film and refrigerate 1 hour to make all the tastes come together. Keep the pit in the guacamole, to prevent it from discoloring.
Serve with tortilla chips, salsa and sour cream. Or spread it on toast or crackers!
Avocados are good for you. They contain healthy fats and nutrients. You can have avocado in a salad as well. Enjoy!

Body Language

Isn't this hilarious? I thought it was so funny, I just had to blog about it.

Our body speaks so many languages, even when we're sleeping. Just look at this man. He's not aware of his insulin pump trying to tell him something. He's getting some kind of an alarm. He may be experiencing a low or a high. I'm sure his wife is experiencing a low and a high at the same time! lol. She's so irritated! She's probably been through this story over and over again and she's got sick of it. He's not aware of any commotion around him whatsoever. Poor man..

I need the beep sounds on my pump or I miss the alarms. So if I'm asleep and something's vibrating, don't call 911. It's not my pump..

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Keep it clean

I had a very important meeting today. On one hand, I had been looking forward to it. On the other hand, it frightened me, because I had no idea of the outcome. I was advised to keep my calm and to keep it clean. And that's what I did. I took a couple of deep breaths before the meeting. You won't believe it, but my blood pressure and heart rate were extremely low instead of very high, as expected.
Anyway, the information I received on the meeting, was very surprising to me. I had not expected anything in that region. That's why I was gobsmacked and numb. I couldn't find the right words and I suppose my opponent was as surprised by my silence, as I was by his information.
There are some serious issues to clear out. Difficult decisions to make. But I'm sure I'll be able to make the right decision and make the best of it. I hope all the other people involved will keep it clean as well! I will need all the support I can get!

Ever heard of..?

I'm always roaming the Internet for new recipes. Every once in a while I bump into the weirdest names of dishes. How about Pigs in blankets? Or Devils on horseback? It made me smile and of course, it drew my attention. Pigs in blankets are just sausages wrapped in bacon, but the name makes it a whole lot more interesting, doesn't it? If you stuff pitted prunes with mango chutney before you wrap them in bacon, you have made Devils on horseback. How about that?
Stuffing hard boiled eggs with a mayonnaise based filling, is called Devilled eggs. You serve them as an hors d'oeuvre (I love the way English speaking people pronounce that word - lol). Just plain food - with a fancy name.
Please let me know your favorite special named dish. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Say Aah

I had an encounter with the physiotherapist today. She was real thorough examining my body. She punched me, pulled my back, made me bend over and stretched my legs. She found all the sore spots and there were more than we thought. Two vertebras are affected: bulging L4-L5. There is also an interscapular dysfunction, meaning there is pain underneath the shoulder blades. There are several painful spots on the backside of my ribs. The doctor suspects there might be some ruptures in my ribs. Have no idea where those came from - duh.
She's sending me to the chiropractor for massage, warmth and mobilisation. And it would be better for me to find another job, where back problems aren't an issue.
I still need to have a full body scan and X-rays of my spine and ribs. She wants me up and going and keep on moving. So no more relaxation sessions on the couch. I have to get active and get my muscles going.

Doing the right thing

I'm puzzled. Don't know what to do. My lower back is killing me and the pain is going all the way to my shoulders and the left side of my neck. I'm going to see the physiotherapist this afternoon. I'm still on pain relievers and I feel that's not always doing me good. Because you tend to do more if you're not in pain with the chance to overdo it.
I'm afraid I will have to quit my job. Pushing a wheel chair and lifting it in and out of the car, is not particularly the best thing to do if you have health issues. I always think I will conquer the world and I can do anything. But sometimes you need to listen to your body. And my body is telling me to stop. l still believe I got diabetes because I ignored my body's signals. I didn't listen to the warnings my body was giving me. It took me 8 months to figure out I had diabetes. Maybe I should've listened better. We're not invincible. I'm not invincible.
I hate the word "unemployed". It doesn't suit me. I like to be busy and feel useful. I like to be needed. My back is forcing me though to take it easy and rest. There's not much else I can do right now. I feel guilty that Hubby needs to jump in and take over. I feel lazy. Maybe I should bear the pain and get up and do something? Although people keep telling me not to.. It's hard. It's so not me.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Ego surfing

I'm sure you've done it before. Google your own name, I mean. Oh come on, admit it. Everybody's done it. Even you! You might be surprised by the number of posts you find on yourself. The Internet never forgets. It doesn't defragment and it has no bin. Your posts stay there till eternity and even longer.
So do you have a Google Ganger? Or is your name that unique that you are the only person online that is named exactly like you? Not likely. Have you ever tried to contact your Google Twin? To see what kind of person it is?
Let's do some ego surfing. I will try all of your names to look for matches. I'll keep you informed.

I dreamed a dream

Susan Boyle came out of nowhere. Nobody knew her. She's a real hit now. What a transformation. What a voice. What a dream come true.
You must have heard about her, without any doubt. It makes us hope, that dreams can become reality, if you believe in yourself. Look where Susan is now.. The world is at her feet. Susan Boyle, a name never heard of.. A housewife amongst all the other. But one with a very special talent: she has a golden voice. She's so pure, so real, so down to earth. The right people believed in her. They recognized the voice behind the appearance. And they gave her the chance to sparkle. If you see Susan perform, it's like she still believes it is a dream.. Maybe that's what it is: a dream. But at least a dream come true..

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Haven't met you yet

There's a little girl out there, waiting for her mommy to pick her up. She's adorable so I've heard. Has the most beautiful eyes and long eyelashes ever. Due to circumstances, mommy and Baby are not permitted to be together. They have been separated and are forced to live apart. It's heartbreaking. It's not supposed to be like this. Mommy is desperately seeking for her child. Her heart was ripped out of her body, the day they took Baby away from her. Ever heard the song "Cry me a river"? Mommy has cried oceans.. The only wish she has, is to be reunited with her child.
There has to be a way for the two of them to be together. Someone has to be the hero in this story. Someone has to stand up for them and give them a voice. Too much time has gone by already and Baby is growing older every day.
I hope to meet you one day soon. I hope your mommy will find a way to give you the warm nest you deserve. Hang in there. Both of you..

Two is better than one

On November 29 2009, a new nest of whippet puppies was born. We were invited to go see them. Hubby has already talked about getting a friend for Rebba. Another whippet for her, to play with. I'm sure she would love that. And so would we.
So the children and I drove to Holland, to pay a visit to Rebba's family. We were welcomed by her people parents and her real dog parents, Maisie and Milo. All of Rebba's friends were there to welcome her. She felt at home right away.
And there they were: 6 adorable female puppies.. You hold those little, warm bodies against you and your heart just melts. They smell wonderful and they are just so cute! Rebba liked them too! Our youngest daughter has picked the one she liked the best. We're not sure yet, if we will get her or not. It's not up to us. The people parents will decide which dog will go live with which family. She has a good eye and she knows about whippets. You don't choose one. They choose you!
So maybe, just maybe, we'll have a puppy by February 1st. I'm thrilled!!

Friday, January 1, 2010

I close my eyes..

I curl up under my duvet. It's freezing. My feet are cold although I put socks on. Only the tip of my nose is visible. It's quiet in the street. A lonely lantern is peeking through my window, leaving a creepy shadow on the bed. I listen to my heartbeat. I breathe hard. I try to feel every vessel in my body. My head comes first. I try to concentrate on my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my ears, my cheeks, my chin. I feel my neck, my shoulders are tensed. I try to feel every vertebra in my back spine. My tummy is soft and round. My legs feel heavy, my calves are tired. My feet are getting warmer. My big toe tries to get rid of the sock on the other foot. It falls on the carpet. I peel off the other sock as well. My bed is warm now. I'm calm, relaxed. Ready to dream my dreams. I close my eyes..

I couldn't agree more

I know I know. I'd better exercise. But I hate sports, I really do. I don't only hate it, I'm not interested in any kind of sports either. Ugh ugh. I don't like to watch sports, I don't like to listen to people talking about sports, I ignore the sports sections in stores, .. It's just so not me!!

I did like to go horseback riding though. I must have done that for more than 5 years in my teens. Right after we bought our house, I went horseback riding again. It was great fun! Like riding a bike, you never forget how to ride a horse. The smell of the stables, the warmth of the animal, the pleasure of being one with the horse.. But then I was diagnosed diabetic. I experienced several lows without notice and I was afraid to ride. I have a family after all and the thought of me falling of the horse while having a sugar low.. I know it shouldn't scare me. Now I'm on a pump I could try again. But I don't. I don't know why. Lazy I guess?