It's been too long

There were so many occasions to blog about. So many opportunities to share and yet, I couldn't find the motivation to write things down and memorize the important things in life. Weeks go by and there are still not enough hours in a day to sit down and relax. We just came back from Florida, the same day MH17 got shot down in Ukrain.. It makes you reflect over life and you come to the realization life can be over in seconds. So many families that have lost loved ones. Children who have lost their parents, parents without their children, grandparents who have lost both children and grandchildren. We are thankful for having returned home safely and most important: as a complete family.

Florida was like coming home again. It felt so good, so natural. We didn't come in through Sanford Airport this time. We decided to pay Miami a visit before driving that Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited Edition all the way to Kissimmee. It was amazing. So different but yet so familiar. How I have missed those trees, the highways, the weather, the people. This vacation was more active than our previous ones. We swam with manatees, went kayaking in Wekiwa Springs, did some shopping, visited numerous restaurants, had the best sushi, shopped some more, enjoyed different beaches and springs (we had never before seen water that clear and pure as in Juniper and Wekiwa Springs), celebrated July 4th near the Lakefront Park in Kissimmee, screamed our lungs out on a local rodeo event, visited Saint Augustine (man, my calves hurt for 3 days after climbing that lighthouse - I really need to work on getting in shape) and had the honor to spend a day at the Children With Diabetes congress in Orlando. I had been invited by Scott Johnson, a T1 colleague who lives in Minnesota and has been a wonderful diabetes advocate for many years. We met so many wonderful people on the congress and I felt blessed for this event, that has been created to make life of children with T1 diabetes a little bit easier. 

It was wonderful. We had been looking forward to Florida all year and it was no disappointment. I really hope to go back next year.. 

The girls did well in school and as usual: we are very proud of them. It's a privilege to see them grow up and do well. They are amazing and a true blessing. They are growing up alright. Lana has bought her first car (thank you Mammie, for giving her this opportunity) and she's been loving it ever since. It gives her independence and I can relate to her joy. It is such a big step into adulthood to have a car of your own and to be able to drive yourself to wherever you want to be. I still get that same overwhelming feeling whenever I get another car. By the way: the next car is a fact: right before we left for Florida, my new car found its way to our home. I didn't want to give up on 4x4, so this time we got a Honda CR-V. It's been a joy driving it so far.

Eva started working weekends in a restaurant. It gives us something new to talk about. I'm proud of her. Working in restaurants is hard and working late hours isn't easy if you need a lot of sleep. But she's holding on and she'll be combining it with her job at the nursing home during the summer holidays. It gives her some extra money to spend and it makes her realize life is hard and you need to work for a living. She gets responsibility and praise for what she's doing and that is so important at the age of 17. It is important at any age.

There's so much more to tell and I will get to it eventually. For now, let things be and get some rest. I need to go to bed and get up early in the morning. 

Unconditional love

At the age of 21, my friends were discussing their wish to get married and their hunger for children. I could not relate to their dreams, since they were so different from mine. I wanted to find a place to live on my own. I wanted to travel and see the world. The desire to be independent and free, was greater than the search to settle with someone else. I had had my number of relationships and there were plenty of families with children that asked me to babysit. But under no circumstances had I foreseen a family of my own.. 

Not planned at all and as a total surprise, I gave birth to two beautiful baby girls. Just two years apart but so different, they are the best thing that ever happened to me. Being given the chance to mother these two girls, has made me a better person. They make me look at myself and question my life, so I can give them the education and love they deserve. It brings me so much joy to hear their stories and witness their growth in life.  It takes effort and tears, laughter and happiness and it's a hard job. But being a mom is the only job worth doing for the rest of your life. You can never quit being a mom. These beautiful daughters are my life, my future, my hope and my comfort. They make me breathe and laugh. A film of their progress in life is running through my mind today. I can see them as babies, toddlers, preschoolers and I see their life change going to high school and turning into young teens. They are almost the same age I once was and I wonder if they will ever have a family of their own. 

Thank you for giving me the chance to be your mommy. It's the best gift I could've wished for.. 

On solid ground

Being in love for the very first time, is just the best feeling ever. You can feel your cheeks blush every time you think about him. You can't focus in school and it's like you are walking on roses. Your arms are too long and you're striding and skipping with a broad smile on your pretty face. People say you gloom and they see lights twinkling in your eyes. That's what love does to one.. It's a feeling you want to hold on to forever and "forever" is a word you use in most of your sentences now.

You get older. You have met different people and you start dreaming about a future. Maybe you want to meet more people and discover the world and enjoy your youth, before you commit to someone. You fall in and out of love and you just like to hang out with friends and have a date every night and then. Cuddles are welcome and you like the feeling of being loved. It's been a while since you've been truly in love.

You meet this one guy and you know this is the person you want to grow old with. It may sound boring and very predictable, but it feels right to you. You no longer doubt if the love is mutual, because you can tell this guy is not only madly in love with you, you feel the same about him. He supports you in whatever you do and you are interested in his dreams. Both of you look forward to the other half to come home from work. There is candle light and romance, there are serious conversations and no harsh words during discussions. There are comforting arms to hold you whenever you feel sad and there's a thumb pointing upwards to cheer the victories in life. He brings you flowers when you least expect it and he opens the door to the restaurant for you. You bring him goodies while he watches the sports channel on TV and you enjoy his enthusiasm even though soccer doesn't interest you at all. There's so much looking forward to going abroad on a vacation and you do nothing but relax and enjoy each other..

It's been some time since you first met. You think about the past and those first years together. Memorable moments cross your mind, some with tears, some with a smile and a wink. The butterflies are no longer present all the time. Things have changed. Love has presented itself in a different way. You understand each other better as time goes by. You share a past together and you're looking forward to a future. The children start living their own life and there are more moments to spend as a couple. It's like starting all over again. At times, you feel the butterflies have come back. It's a special feeling. It's a blessing.

CHAOS

I guess you're familiar with CHAOS aka Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome? You know, the times when your house is a total mess? When you haven't cleaned properly for weeks and piles of laundry are about to take over the washing room? Every day I realize I'm not Superwoman. I don't like to clean although I would love to live in a Spic & Span house. I bookmark tips and tricks on Pinterest although I never get to try them. There are so many cleaning products in the house and they make me feel good looking at them. I dream of a spotless kitchen and it would be great to sit on a furfree couch. But hey! We have kids and we have pets. We run busy lives and we are not spending most of our lives outdoors. In fact, I spend quite some time inside the house, doing other chores than cleaning. I love to cook and yes, flour may dust my kitchen cabinets while I'm kneading bread dough. I stopped apologizing for it some time ago. Take it or leave it. You're all welcome here and I love having you over. The girls can bring friends along and sleepovers get served breakfast if they get up early enough. I like the smell of oven casseroles late at night, while the lights are dimmed and the TV has been turned off. I see some dust on my cupboards and I know both fridges could do with a decent clean up, but I prefer to go through my recipes and find more inspiration for the upcoming week. I just realized I don't have many cookbooks for vegetarians. I have one, my youngest daughter surprised me with last Christmas. It's a wonderful book with great recipes and ditto pictures. Do you think she was already preparing a vegetarian lifestyle back then? Or maybe she just wanted to surprise me with a cookbook that didn't talk about meat too much, since I'm not that much of a meatlover anyway. I went grocery shopping this week and I bought meat for 1 week. The amount was pathetic. Just for my husband, who was used to eating 3 pieces of meat per meal before he met me. He went down to just 1 piece of meat nowadays. I'm sure he'll never never never ever become a vegetarian, but there's no need to. As long as he respects our menu too. So far so good!

Prepping yourself

It's been on the news, you can read it in the papers. The new school year is going to be there soon. Kids are getting ready to meet their new class group and teachers. Exciting, scary at times and sometimes with some degree of anxiety, our daughters are preparing themselves. Books are being delivered, school supplies have been bought and labeled. There are books to be covered and pencil cases to be checked. Maybe backpacks need some dusting off as well. I feel their excitement (okay, my excitement is a bit higher than theirs at the moment)! I want to cover those books, I want to pack that backpack and go. I loved school! I'm sure there have been times I didn't like school so much, but overall, I didn't mind going. September 1st will always have some magic to it. There will be stories to tell once that first school day has come to an end. There will be grumpy faces and I'm sure not all teachers will be popular, but deep down, I just know our girls like to go to school. It's just not done to tell your friends that you don't mind going back.

In the meantime, I'm cutting wrapping paper and printing labels to cover those books. Can you believe I want to sharpen crayons and sort them out by color? It's like being a student again..

I can do red carpet

I admit it, I admit it. It flattered my ego to get all the birthday wishes on my cell phone, Facebook, sites I frequent, .. It was fun to read the special wishes. I know quite some people and I can honestly say I put a lot of time and energy in keeping up with everybody. So thank you all for having me in your thoughts today.

I haven't had much time to spend with my beloved ones today. It was one of the busiest days in the last month, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I do admit I'm exhausted now and tomorrow will be another hectic day, but it'll be great fun to have this bunch of people over.

Does 42 feel different than 41? Not really. I'm still thinking about what this extra year has meant to me. What have I done in the past year and what are my goals for the upcoming year? I have some thinking to do. It was special to hug my girls tonight and to know I'm still around to be their mom. I'll be happy to have my sensor restart in 15 min, so I can go to bed and crawl up against my husband and kiss him goodnight. I have a good life. At the age of 42, I can say I'm happy to be around, alive and kicking. Maybe not in ship shape and a teeny bit overweight, but my mind is young and my energy is coming back. Goodnight to you all. xx

Aunt Flow

Women do these things. They have special words or phrases for men not to understand, when they are talking to their mom or friend on the phone. It makes subjects easier to talk about and it gives them some privacy while speaking in public. I'm sure every family has their own slang when it comes down to talking about Aunt Flow. I remember us calling it Aunt Mary. Before I was around that age, I didn't comprehend who my mom and sister were talking about, when they were discussing Aunt Mary. I didn't have an Aunt Mary so who were they talking about? Why did they say Aunt Mary was in town? It was not until a couple of years later, before I got it. No secret Aunts in my family anymore!

Me and my girls, we don't use any secret language. There's no Aunt Flow, no Aunt Mary, no kitty with nose bleeds nor a war in Virginia. It is what it is. Can I be happy my Aunt Mary died 10 years ago? I didn't grieve over it. I don't miss her one bit. She didn't make me feel feminine at all. People gave me that weird look when I told them I was going to let go of Aunt Mary. We had a good relationship as long as it lasted, but she became a real burden once D got involved. She totally screwed me up and that's when I decided it was time to let go of her.

I wonder if men have secret language too... I guess they won't fill us in?

Strike a pose

I can't believe you have turned 46. To me, you don't look much older than you were when I first met you, 19 years ago. And trust me: 19 years has been a while. Does that mean you looked old back then? Or have you stopped aging since?

Unfortunately, you had to spend your birthday by yourself most of the day. I'm glad the girls were home to keep you company and you had chores you wanted to finish in your backyard. It wasn't until 5:30 PM before I had the chance to give you a hug and wish you a very happy birthday. We'll catch up, I promise. Last night, you were so anxious to find out about your birthday present. We let you read the card that had a rebus you had to solve. It was your job to find out what we had planned for you. We love you. We hope you will love your present!

These were the hints:

Daddy's girls

They lay down on the couch, their eyes closing every now and then, to continue their dreams of chasing cats and bunnies. It's still very quiet around the house. The sunbeams peek through the windows and I have turned down the volume of the radio, for I don't want to disturb the silence of this Sunday morning. Right above my head, I hear him stumble out of bed. Inthe has heard something too, for she's pointing one ear and her eyes are open wide. Could it be? Is it time to get up? O yes! I can hear daddy flush the toilet before he comes down the stairs. Backwards, of course, just the way his mom taught him as a child. Some of the steps are creaking but that's part of the charm of a one century old house. By the time dad is down the hallway, both dogs are waiting for him by the door. They are all excited, to be seen by the wagging of their tail. He has a hard time coming inside, because they are blocking the doorway. Daddy's here! Daddy's here! How lovely!

While I make coffee, Daddy scratches his hair and yawns away the sleep. He rubs his eyes and touches his beard, to see if he needs a shave. Both dogs are sitting beside him at the kitchen table. They are like statues, so quiet. Their gaze is focused on one person: Daddy.. He tells them he wants to have his yogurt and cereal breakfast before the walk. So they wait a bit longer. Once he gets up and puts on his clothes, Inthe becomes his very own shadow. She won't loose track of him now. Rebba is more chill about it. So she strolls back to the couch, throws out the pillows I just rearranged, scratches the cushions and then finds a better spot on the other side. Her head is pointed towards the kitchen though and her ears are turning constantly. Daddy is looking for his shoes and when he opens the door to get the leashes, Inthe is loosing her marbles. She sticks to his leg and follows him all around. As a joke, he walks around the table and she is right there, beside him.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Inthe puts her legs right on his shoulders and licks his ears and nose. Her tail is even more excited and can't stop wagging. Rebba is trying to look the most uninterested as possible. She's a bit different, you know. She needs her own special invitation. Daddy walks towards Rebba and asks her in a soft voice: "Wanna go for a walk, Rebba?". "Who? Me? Really? Are you kidding me? Of course!". That's when Rebba finally gets of the couch to put on her leash. Both dogs look at me like if they want to say: aren't you coming, mom?

The house is quiet again. The dogs are enjoying their walk. They are marking their territory as often as they can, before Daddy frees them from their leashes. They can run their lungs out at the soccer field, playing fetch and chasing each other. Daddy gets to pick up the poop and trash the purple bags somewhere along the line. The girls are so different and yet so much alike. Almost like our two daughters, I guess. The oldest dog has Daddy's last name, while Inthe is carrying my last name. Just like Lana looks after her father and Eva is mommy's girl. People may have the same features as their pets. Sometimes the children do too..

Do you remember the times...

Her name was Kathy. She was my best friend in elementary school. We would sit next to each other from first grade until sixth grade and were really upset if we couldn't for some reason. Because we shared our name, our friends would refer to us as Kathy 1 and Cathy 2. She was Kathy 1, first in the alphabet by her last name. We lived on the same street and we would always walk home together. Her parents were divorced and that was not very common in those days. She was a quiet girl, but very outgoing when we were together.

On the playground, we would hold hands and play games. She would bring her elastic band and I would bring a hool-a-hoop. I have no idea if kids still play these games during recess? The elastic band game asked for 3 kids, at the least. Two kids had to step inside and hold the band around their ankles. Another child would jump over and in between the elastic band by a certain sequence. If the child had finished that sequence, the elastic band would be shifted up higher, up to the calves, then the back of the knees, thighs and waistline. Most of the time, we wouldn't be able to finish the game, for the schoolbell would disturb us. There was always another recess to continue the game. Thinking about it, brings back good memories of my friendship with Kathy 1. I hear from her every now and then. She has two kids, just like we do. Isn't it funny that her and our youngest went to summer camp together, not knowing their moms used to be best friends? We didn't find out until after camp. But that was kinda weird to know. She looks so much like her mom and Kathy 1 said the same about our daughter. L'histoire se répète, one could think. But that won't happen. The girls are no longer in elementary school. Teens don't play old-time-games any more. But I'm happy they still have best friends to talk to. I'm sure they have a lot to discuss, just like we did in our days..

Self-reliance

When I taught my children how to wash their laundry or iron their clothes at the age of 12, it was not meant as a punishment or as slavery. I wanted to teach them about the importance of being self-reliant. I wanted them to be independent teens going into adulthood. They know how to cook simple meals. They know where to find things at the supermarket and they make their own appointments with the hairdresser or doctor. It's good to see that they gain more confidence every time they stretch their limits. They may not fully realize it now, but they will once they will leave the house to go live by themselves or with a partner.

I was in highschool. Probably around the age of 15. We had sewing class (I don't know if they still do sewing class nowadays) and the theme of that month was: sew your own skirt. I sucked at sewing. It didn't interest me either. In fact, I could care less. I liked the teacher though. We got along well but sewing was just not my cup of tea.
My mother is a seamstress. She sews for a living. The most obvious thing to do, was to let her make the skirt for me. I didn't even assist her or asked her about the way she was going to design the skirt. I knew what it was supposed to look like, because my teacher had briefed us.
The next time in class, we had to show our work in progress. Not one student could show anything decent or be optimistic about the assignment. To the surprise of my classmates and the teacher, my skirt was already finished. The teacher was full of joy and she asked me to step forward and show the others how I had made the skirt. All of a sudden, I was sick to my stomach. I told her I felt nauseous  Could I go see the school nurse?

Without any doubt, my skirt looked the most professional and I got fabulous grades on my report card. Was I proud of myself? Did I learn anything? Apparently not.. my husband is good at sewing buttons on shirts or fixing holes in clothes. He didn't have a mom to fix everything for him. He had nobody else to rely on. He learned a good lesson..

How was the party?

Waking up with a pillow full of vomit, wearing jeans instead of pj's and without any idea where your T-shirt is, is not the most attractive way to wake up. Your throat is sore and feels like sandpaper. You are so thirsty and your head feels like someone is using a meat mill to grind your brain. You try to get your legs out of bed and you stare at that pair of jeans that isn't yours. What the heck.. You reach for the door knob and on your socks, you sneak out of the bedroom, assuring to be quiet because you don't want to wake anybody. In the bathroom, the clock is telling you it is late afternoon. Is that clock working allright? You take a glance in the mirror and the image is telling how you are feeling. Like crap, that is. A peek through the window says there is no sign of your car. Shoot.. Rubbing your temples, you try to figure out what had happened to previous night, but there's only a black hole. You remember going to the pub just down the street and having a great time with your friends. You taste the sweet wellness of cherry liquor, although it no longer tastes the same as the night before and right there and then, it makes your stomach twirl. You fall down to your knees in front of the toilet and you fear your guts may come out. Never again, you promise yourself. This was the worst hangover ever. You fear going downstairs because you don't want to face your parents. Their disappointment will be huge and the rant will be correspondingly. There is no time to come up with a plausible story, since your mother is trotting up the stairs. Your heart is pounding in your body and you try to prepare yourself for the storm in the glass..

It's part of the growing pains. There's no use crying over it. It happens and we can only hope it won't happen again. It's a good lesson in life. Alcohol makes you sick and it wipes out your memory. It makes you feel invincible one moment and it turns you in to a terrible mess the very next. It's up to you where to draw the line. The life of a teenager isn't always grand.. Let's hope not too many people witnessed your disastrous night.

The immediate now

There was a long line waiting at the reception of the hospital. It was an early rise. We left the house at 6:15 AM and by 6:30 we were number 7 in line. Most of the patients present needed some sort of knee operation. Some were there for a follow up consultation. I was not ready to hear any horror stories about things that went wrong or about horrendous misfits. At that time, I was happy hubby is selectively deaf. He was so busy stressing out, that he probably didn't hear half of the conversations, or he would've left the clinic right there and then.

The nurses were expecting their patients and the rooms were prepared. Hubby and his room mate were asked to put on their operation outfit. A questionnaire kept us busy for some time:

"Please state your name"
"What operation is awaiting you?" "Right knee?"
"How much do you weigh and how tall are you?"
"Are you sober?"

     Dang... I didn't eat, if that is what you mean?

"No, I meant: did you eat or drink anything?"

    No more than 2 cups of sweetened coffee.. That's okay, isn't it?

"Sir! You were not supposed to drink anything, not even water or coffee! We will have to delay your operation.."

     Are you kidding me? I guess not??

"Are you on any medication?"

     Yes. I take tablets for high blood pressure.

"Your blood pressure is 20/10. That's not good at all. Did you take your medication?"

     Well, I'm supposed to, but I didn't. I forget taking them all the time. But I do have them at home..

"That ain't gonna help much, what do you think? This is a dangerous situation sir. I can't believe you're doing this..."

I'm glad this discussion was not held with my husband, but with his roommate. It did mean though, that my hubby was first in line. The nurse started to shave his knee in a fast mode, since he was expected downstairs. In a jiffy, he was shaved and disinfected and ready to go. I kissed him goodbye just outside the operating room. I knew he was in good hands and the sedative had taken away the stress. The operation would take no more than 10-15 min.

I waited and waited some more. One hour. Two hours. Nearly three hours and half later and a lot of other patients that came out of the operating room, but still no hubby. Had there been complications? Probably not, because they would have warned me, right? Isn't that why they asked me for my phone number?

That's when I heard his voice and even a laughter. He was in bed, looking bright and happy. Pain free at last! The pressure was gone and I could tell he was happy to be alive and almost kicking. It would take the rest of the day before the surgeon would stop by and give his blessing to go home, but hubby could use that time to rest and watch TV, while I ran some errands.

I picked up the kids from school and we went back to the hospital to pick up dad. He was happy to see the girls and they were relieved to see him without pain. His leg looked a bit swollen but it wasn't sore. We packed his bag and loaded with prescriptions and guidelines, we took off. Hubby insisted on using his crutches and he didn't want me to go get the car. He is not a pussy you know! He hobbled all the way down the parking lot to the car, but I assume he was happy he got there in one piece.

We installed him on the couch with some extra pillows and a drink, while we got started preparing dinner. I'm grateful for the help I got from the girls. While Inthe and Rebba were taking turns in nursing daddy, I peeked over to the living area to see how he was doing. He was looking good. In the immediate now, he's perfectly fine. Let's hope it will be the same tomorrow....

xOxO

"Happy Mother's Day"

Photo Eva Joos

I'm blessed with two wonderful daughters.. They are the best daughters I could ever have wished for. Although I had not planned on having children, they came upon our way and they have enriched our lives ever since. I'm a lucky woman, I realize that. Who would I be without my baby girls..

Thank you for being who you are sweeties. You make me laugh, you make me happy. I love to hear your stories, to sit down with you and talk, to spend time together in the kitchen. It warms my heart when you open my very own cookbook to surprise me with a treat I wrote down for you. Let's cuddle up and feel our warmth. I love you girls.. Being who you are is the best present a mom could wish for..

School's out for summer

I can't believe this school year is already coming to an end. It's your last year in highschool. Today was a special day for all of you. You were celebrating the last 100 days in highschool. All dressed up, you and your friends left the house in the middle of the night, on your bicycles, to Eeklo, where all of the excitement was going on. You had a blast! Looking like a rock chick, tattoos and all, you wandered around town, celebrating and cheering.

Tonight, there will be a mega party for all the students. It won't be too long before class 6D will split. It will be a strange sensation, to say goodbye to highschool. I remember my days and how things would never be the same again. Enjoy those last months sweetie... You're almost off to college now. We came to the realization that you won't spend much time at home anymore. That's okay with us. That's the way things go huh? It's part of growing up and moving out. You're ready. Go girl!

For a spoonful of sugar..

She was only three when I came to look after her. Her prior (male) nanny Morgan showed me around on my first day in Portland, Oregon. He was really nice and he and Natalie bonded well. Morgan was there on a temporary basis though. Natalie's parents had applied for a European au pair. They wanted their little girl to have the best education possible and they thought some discipline could do no harm.

Natalie Ann Scott was cute. She was a doll. She was very smart too. I remember how she could read and write short words and she was only 3! Her private school provided with a French teacher by the name of Denise and having no more than 6 other kiddos to play with in your class, is a unique situation for a kindergarten. I would take Natalie to school in the morning and pick her up for lunch. I liked to prepare special kid's lunches for her. I would make little faces out of bread, that I would dress up with pieces of fruit and greens. Grated cheese was great for creating a perfect hairdo and some nuts would keep the brain working. After lunch, Natalie would take a nap and I would pick up toys and clean up the kitchen. As soon as Natalie would open her eyes, she would ask me to play one of her favorite DVD's, that we would play downstairs in the basement, where I had a whole floor to myself. Well, that is, for Natalie and I. I didn't mind sharing the space with her. We loved to sit on the sofa together and watch Mary Poppins. Natalie is the girl who taught me how to say: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and cinnamon. Can you believe I had a hard time saying "cin-na-mon"? To me, it was more of a tong twister than the Mary Poppins-line. Natalie would curl up laughing when once again, I would wrongly say: cim-ma-non.. It became our little joke..

I loved watching Mary Poppins. I never thought I would ever see the movie again, once I left Portland. Only a few years later, I had two daughters of my own. Our little one had a favorite movie... Exactly.. Mary Poppins was back! We watched the DVD, on the couch, together. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.. I cannot count the number of times we sang that song, without ever getting bored. Mary Poppins is of all times..

I wonder what has become of Natalie. She should be about 24 now. What kind of education would she have had? Is she seeing someone seriously? How about her parents? I remember how happy they were with their little girl.. Did Natalie ever get siblings? Maybe I should try to locate her on Facebook. Don't know if she would remember me. I have scrapbooks full of pictures and stories on her. It would be nice to show her some day..

Growing up

Tapas Bar Catala - Photo by Lana Joos

The girls are getting taller as we are getting older. One will leave for college in September. Only our little one (who's going to be 16 before we know it) will stay at home for a couple more years. We are lucky that at least one of the girls is still going to live with us. The house would be really empty without children and I will even miss the argy-bargy between the two of them.

7 bridges - photo by Eva Joos

We have done quite some traveling as a family so far. We started to realize that maybe those vacations together are coming to an end. The girls have their own activities and they have friends to do fun things with. Summer holidays also means time to find a job and make some money of their own.
We decided to take the girls on a city trip as a Christmas gift. We both knew they were looking forward to going Amsterdam. There were so many things we wanted to do, but the main goal was shopping. After all, three out of four are ladies.. sorry hubby...

Anne Frank - photo by Lana Joos

Amsterdam was wonderful. Hubby had planned the trip and everything went just well. The hotel was in the center of Amsterdam, giving us the chance to stroll down the Kalverstraat as often as we wanted. Visiting the House of Anne Frank was on our list too. We did see the house.. well.. that is, we saw the facade but we didn't go in. Although all four of us were curious about this historic monument, the line waiting in front and around the corner was just way too long. It was cold and dark and not exactly pleasant to stand there for a couple of hours. We were running out of time.. It was good that hubby already got tickets to do some sightseeing by boat. Yes, I am deeply ashamed that I fell asleep on the boat.. Too much shopping, way too many low diabetic episodes and sore shins made me doze off to another world. I missed most (read: all) of the explanation since I didn't use the headphone.. Sorry! I'm glad you all filled me in on the tour and the meaning of the crooked houses along the canal.

photo by Lana Joos

We had a pleasant stay in this wonderful city with its hundreds of shops! Nevertheless, we took the train to Zaandam to shop some more (the girls just had to go to Primark) and we didn't regret fleeing the bustle of the city for a couple of hours.
If you ever get the chance to visit Amsterdam, grab a bite at Tapas Bar Catala or endeavor a juicy Argentinian steak at Cau. You won't regret the visit. 

The first kiss..

It's been a while. Let's say, it's been a long, long time ago. That first kiss. So important, so frightening, so grown up. I had been longing for that kiss, dreaming about it. Who would be the first  one to kiss me? What would it feel like? What was I supposed to do? I read about it in the teen magazines and I would close my eyes in bed and imagine what it would feel like..

He was older than me. I think he must have been my sister's age. I only remember his first name and that he was blond and tall. I didn't even fancy him. But he gave me my first grown up kiss. He had been drinking. The only thing I could think of was: I hate the smell of beer.. His tongue touched mine. I had never realized how big a tongue could be. How intimidating it could feel. That first kiss wasn't special. It was not a kiss to remember, although I never forgot. But it meant I entered a completely new world: the world of the kissers! Finally I knew how to kiss and nothing could stop me from finding another boy, who didn't drink beer and who wasn't that tall that my neck hurt reaching for his lips.

It feels strange to go back in time and recapitulate. I let former boyfriends pass my mind and I try to remember their kisses. Did you ever keep notes on boyfriends? You know, like giving them scores and stuff? I did!!! I honestly did!!! It was hilarious to say the least. I would rate them on kissing, appearance, .. I kept that notebook for quite a long time. When a friend in Portland, Oregon laughed at my notebook, I thought it was time to let go. I wish I could scroll through that book again, to refresh my memory and see if reading about those boyfriends would bring back memories. It would help me understand my daughters I guess...

I'm no longer 14. Being 41 is somehow different. You have passed the stage of discovering new things. But I believe one is never too old to kiss. Kissing is wonderful and very intimate. It's like going back to basics and being completely in love again. I love being in love. I love to kiss.

Is that alright with you?

If you are lucky, you have a parent-partner to discuss all of the children-issues with. It is important to be consequent when raising children. It is also important to have a broad mind and let others state their values. Your method could be as effective as mine or the other way around, or maybe there might be a third method that both parents can agree on. As long as there is room for discussion and consideration. We don't always have to agree, but it would be helpful if we could work something out between us, before the children come in. Raising children is not easy. Having teens in the house is a challenge. We'll get there, I just know we will. It will take some more discussion and we may need to listen to each other without interrupting the other so we can make ourselves understood. Children need freedom, to a certain extend, so they can learn and experience life. They do need some guidance as well, because some consequences of their actions are too hard to understand at such a young age. Sometimes children need to be protected from themselves.
Maybe I need to let go of the reins every now and then. Maybe you need to pull the strings every once in a while. I don't want to be the bad guy at all times. You can't be Santa every day.. The girls won't stop loving us for not getting all that they want.. We will always love them. That is the best present ever.

Curfews

I had a curfew as a teen. It was midnight sharp. I had a curfew when I was in the US, working as an au pair. The curfew said, I had to write down on a piece of paper where I was and what time I expected to be home. I could leave the note in my room on my desk, just in case my host family needed to contact me for some reason.

I'm married now. I no longer have to stick to a curfew. I know me.. when I'm having a good time, I don't pay attention to the clock. I forget to contact my family to let them know when I'll be home. I'm getting better though. I try to stick more to the hour I had in mind.

Our girls have curfews when they go out. They have different curfews, since they are not the same age. We have a third daughter for 3 months. She loves to go out. Setting a curfew for her is not easy. In Italy, she's used to going out every night. Over here, things are a little different. There's not much to do around here. You need to drive a while to find a good place to dance and have a good time. Kids don't go out at 8:00 PM. They don't leave the house before 11:00 PM or midnight. Then it's hard to tell them to be home by 1:00 AM, isn't it? We need to find a way for our exchange student to be able to go out and have a good time, without leaving us worrying about her safety. We don't want her to get into a car of someone who's been drinking. After all, she's like a daughter to us and we are responsible for her. Don't want to imagine what could happen to her while being out... Just be careful, okay?