Walk for a Cure

Today is my 12th Diaversary. It's not always been easy but I'm still here and there are no complications yet. I need your help though. Not just for me, but for everyone out there who has T1 Diabetes. Insulin is a treatment, not a solution. Some smart scientists are working day and night (well, they probably do sleep at times) to find a cure for T1 Diabetes. How could I just relax and sit back and wait for that cure to happen? Things don't work that way. It takes effort and fundraising and motivation. Most of all: it takes hope! If we have no hope there will ever be a cure, why would others hope for us? Don't give up, my friends. I know our doctors have told us there will be a cure in 10 years and some doctors promised that 30 years ago. We can't give up! That is just not an option. I know some of you are tired of fighting. Diabetes takes a lot of energy we don't have. We're not alone in this story. So many people out there who have family members, friends, co-workers, ... who share this condition.

Make your donation today. Don't delay any longer. 

We need your support big time! 

http://www.jdrfwalk.nl/t1vlaanderen

It's been a productive day

Photo Cathy Van de Moortele

I hate to clean house, I really do. Don't get me wrong: I love clean houses, but I don't like to clean them. It makes my back ache and it's really fulfilling the moment you're done, but within the hour, the sparkle is gone. It seems so pointless although I see the point of living in a clean house. Are you still with me?

Anyway, today my schedule read: Hubby work - tennis tournament, Lana - studying in Bruges, Eva - babysitting in Ghent. Meaning: I'm home alone! Meaning: the ideal moment to clean house :( I got started early this morning and by the time I had got the hoover out of the cabinet, my urge to clean had already left my mind.. I wanted to cook and bake and stroll through recipes on the Internet. I wanted to go grocery shopping and I wanted to present some kind of fancy dessert in my new Jamie Oliver bowls. But sometimes things just need to be done and today seemed like a good moment to do so, since I was home alone, the sun was out so the dogs and cat could play outside all day. Not?

I cleaned. I really did. But I cooked and I baked more than I cleaned. It was so satisfying to have fun in the kitchen. So many recipes to try out, so many ingredients to be tasted. In between recipes, I would sweep the floors and move furniture around. I would dust window sills and vacuum all of that pet hair on the couch. I must admit, it kinda looked good to see those pillows neatly on a cleaned couch with freshly washed throw blankets. The windows were ajar to let

Photo Cathy Van de Moortele

some the breeze in and my bottle of Febreze cleaned the air of dust and kitchen smells. Nevertheless, the kitchen was calling me to make Oven puffed pancake topped with berries for lunch. I enjoyed every bite sitting on the deck and was already thinking of my next dish to cook: home made ricotta ravioli with a lima bean and pea side. How I love to make my own pasta dishes... it's so satisfying and pleasant and a wonderful way to have some Me Time. No other hobby can give me this amount of pleasure as cooking and baking does. It's addictive to come up with new recipes, try them out, improve them and share them with the world. So many people who want to try out my food. I'm convinced they would like a BUY NOW button on the Internet when they see the food pics pass by.

Just the other week, an acquaintance asked me if I could make dessert for 50 guests next weekend. Of course I can! I have given it a thought and I came up with 5 wonderful desserts her guests will endeavor. So looking forward to that!

Photo Cathy Van de Moortele

Should I go back to school and get a professional training in cooking and baking? I would love to... but I don't know if it's possible. Things are already quite hectic around here. Those classes are time absorbing but my fingers are itching and my heart is longing for more knowledge and improvement. Thinking of it, I'm ready to indulge my grilled peach dessert... wanna have a bowl?

Cooking and baking is not the best hobby if you have diabetes. I decided not to use substitutes in my recipes. I want the real thing so my recipes are nowhere near low carb. So be it. I put enough effort in taking care of myself and I try to keep my A1c as low as possible, but I'm not willing to give up on good food. It's too important for me to keep doing what I love to do. Too bad cleaning is not my hobby.. It would make life a whole lot easier.. and boring.

I can fight my own fight

We have lunches together. We like to hang out and chitchat. Most meetings are diabetes related. That's what happens when you have lunch with peers. Probably very boring if you're not interested in diabetes, but hey: we can all relate! It's not that we have nothing else to talk about, but diabetes is always one of the subjects. Not one person with diabetes has the exact same treatment as yours so it's always interesting to hear other people about their experiences. Although we always make fun of our friend Jan - we keep saying he doesn't really have T1 diabetes, since his numbers are just so steady - we wouldn't want to skip a meeting with him. He's witty and smart and he's so good at keeping his blood glucose steady, that he numbs us with the result. There's no way we will ever get where he has always been, but that's okay. We all do the best we can with the tools we have access to.

Same for our friend Katrien. She has had diabetes for a much longer time. She was just a teen when she got diagnosed. Back in those days, treating T1 diabetes was really hard. The tools were different and so was the approach. Things have evolved since. Katrien said goodbye to her insulin pens and instead, she starting using an insulin pump. Just before that switch, she got herself the best device possible to treat her condition. She and her loving husband got hold of the Dexcom G4, the Continuous Glucose Monitoring system, that tells us our BG at all times, day and night, day in day out. It warns us for upcoming highs and lows. I met Katrien before she got the Dexcom. Her life and that of her husband, was completely different. She would suffer from severe diabetic comas and epileptic seizures. At least once a month, she would loose consciousness due to a severe low. None of that has happened since she started using CGM. What a relief, what a difference. Her life has changed for the better. She has finally got the chance to alter her treatment and it feels good to see her get better.

We can fight our own fight, no doubt about that. After all, we have to fight our fight every day of the
year, year after year. It is a chronic disease, remember? We know what our body can handle and most of the time, we know why we went out of line. But still, it is good to sit down with peers every now and then, to tell our story and hear the other. I'm grateful for these meetings. Love you guys...

Unconditional love

At the age of 21, my friends were discussing their wish to get married and their hunger for children. I could not relate to their dreams, since they were so different from mine. I wanted to find a place to live on my own. I wanted to travel and see the world. The desire to be independent and free, was greater than the search to settle with someone else. I had had my number of relationships and there were plenty of families with children that asked me to babysit. But under no circumstances had I foreseen a family of my own.. 

Not planned at all and as a total surprise, I gave birth to two beautiful baby girls. Just two years apart but so different, they are the best thing that ever happened to me. Being given the chance to mother these two girls, has made me a better person. They make me look at myself and question my life, so I can give them the education and love they deserve. It brings me so much joy to hear their stories and witness their growth in life.  It takes effort and tears, laughter and happiness and it's a hard job. But being a mom is the only job worth doing for the rest of your life. You can never quit being a mom. These beautiful daughters are my life, my future, my hope and my comfort. They make me breathe and laugh. A film of their progress in life is running through my mind today. I can see them as babies, toddlers, preschoolers and I see their life change going to high school and turning into young teens. They are almost the same age I once was and I wonder if they will ever have a family of their own. 

Thank you for giving me the chance to be your mommy. It's the best gift I could've wished for.. 

Things I enjoy always

• Pampering my family
• Cooking, not matter what time a day (or night)
• Baking, the process and the result, not necessarily eating it (I'm not that much of a sweet tooth)
• Meeting up with friends over lunch or/and dinner
• Talk about diabetes
• Surfing the Internet 
• Good readings on my Dexcom
• Hazelnut Creamer
• High heels (I don't mind the sore feet afterwards)
• Hugging our whippets
• A new haircut or a good manicure
• Traveling
• A nice bouquet of flowers, for no particular reason
• Family get togethers
• The US
• Movies based on true stories
• Buying cookbooks and reading them like novels
• Turn up the music in the car and sing along
• A clean house (but I hate cleaning house)
• Home made ravioli
• Diet coke
• Fine dining
• New outfits from my favorite store
• A perfect Latte Macchiato
• Sheep skin slippers
• Happy faces
• The sun

On solid ground

Being in love for the very first time, is just the best feeling ever. You can feel your cheeks blush every time you think about him. You can't focus in school and it's like you are walking on roses. Your arms are too long and you're striding and skipping with a broad smile on your pretty face. People say you gloom and they see lights twinkling in your eyes. That's what love does to one.. It's a feeling you want to hold on to forever and "forever" is a word you use in most of your sentences now.

You get older. You have met different people and you start dreaming about a future. Maybe you want to meet more people and discover the world and enjoy your youth, before you commit to someone. You fall in and out of love and you just like to hang out with friends and have a date every night and then. Cuddles are welcome and you like the feeling of being loved. It's been a while since you've been truly in love.

You meet this one guy and you know this is the person you want to grow old with. It may sound boring and very predictable, but it feels right to you. You no longer doubt if the love is mutual, because you can tell this guy is not only madly in love with you, you feel the same about him. He supports you in whatever you do and you are interested in his dreams. Both of you look forward to the other half to come home from work. There is candle light and romance, there are serious conversations and no harsh words during discussions. There are comforting arms to hold you whenever you feel sad and there's a thumb pointing upwards to cheer the victories in life. He brings you flowers when you least expect it and he opens the door to the restaurant for you. You bring him goodies while he watches the sports channel on TV and you enjoy his enthusiasm even though soccer doesn't interest you at all. There's so much looking forward to going abroad on a vacation and you do nothing but relax and enjoy each other..

It's been some time since you first met. You think about the past and those first years together. Memorable moments cross your mind, some with tears, some with a smile and a wink. The butterflies are no longer present all the time. Things have changed. Love has presented itself in a different way. You understand each other better as time goes by. You share a past together and you're looking forward to a future. The children start living their own life and there are more moments to spend as a couple. It's like starting all over again. At times, you feel the butterflies have come back. It's a special feeling. It's a blessing.

Then there was nothing but silence..

They were sitting at the table, facing each other. The television was playing loud, showing a cycling event, and I could hear the comments of the reporters, making jokes and keeping a good eye on the cyclists at the same time.

They were quiet, having their prespread sandwiches. She got up from the table, shambled towards the bathroom, her bowl of soup in her hands. I sat on the bed and watched her manners. She would empty the bowl in the toilet, flush and come back to the table, to finish her early dinner. They sat there, in complete silence. He was looking at me, winking and I could see the corner of his mouth curl up. He continued to take little bites from his sandwich. I asked them what cold cuts they had been given. They had no idea. They forgot, I guess. They were not interested either. He said he preferred making his own sandwiches at a time that was more appropriate to be called dinner time.

A friendly lady walked into the room. She was in a hurry, I could tell. "Are you finished," she asked, while she was clearing the table. Maybe the answer was not important to her, since she didn't await the answer. Dinner was over. Time to take that handkerchief and wipe their mouths. She shuffled back to the bathroom to flush the toilet again. I asked why she got rid of the soup. She said she hated soup. She did like buttermilk porridge though.. I urged her to talk to the head nurse, to see if she could have porridge instead of soup. She gave me that special look, that needed no further explanation. I dropped the subject..

He was still sitting at the table, picking up little crumbs that were left on his placemat. He gathered as many as he could, to pile them up in one corner. She sat down again, waiting for the evening to come. Pretty soon, one of the nurses would come in to help them get into their jammies. It was only 5:00 PM. There wasn't much to say. It was not an unpleasant silence though. They didn't need words to understand one another. They had been together for so many years, they knew what the other was thinking. They looked outside the window, to see nothing but a dull wall and a garbage bin. I kissed them on the cheeks. I rubbed their back and wiped away a tear that had been stinging in the corner of my eye. I left their room, thankful for the love they felt for each other. Thankful, that at least they were together. Things could've been worse. They could have spent their days in a room with a total stranger, in a totally different kind of silence. Their silence was comforting. It was not to be dreaded..

I still miss you.. I miss your wisdom, your strength, your ability to be without speech.

Hands, touching hands

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you..

Humans are not made to live all by themselves. We need company to stay focused and nourish our inner selves. Being by yourself for too long, can make you sad and moody. You probably feel empty and blue and you long for someone to talk to. Someone to tell your stories to, to watch a movie with, to share a meal or to take for a walk.

This little girl is never alone. She has so many loving people surrounding her. She can't tell what she thinks or how she feels, but her wonderful smile when she hears your voice as soon as you open the door, is so comforting. She knows you're there. She knows she's not alone. It is reassuring that we know she always has someone around her. As soon as the garage door opens to let daddy's car in, I can see that little face light up! She just knows her daddy will come and hug her and tell her about his day at work. Mommy cannot leave the house without kissing her on the cheeks. She protests if the kiss is being forgotten. It is heartwarming to see little man hug and kiss his big sister whenever he comes home. He loves her so much and she loves him back, in her very own way.

I feel so honored to be part of this little girl's life. It is peaceful to have her in my lap and have her grab my finger before she closes her eyes for her afternoon nap. She's special. I can feel her love. Her heart is so big and she moves so many others. She's a true blessing..

Just pull the plug

I'm not the right person if you are looking for New Year's Resolutions. I have been looking forward to reorganizing my kitchen though. Since I started working as a Tupperware consultant, my cabinets have been pampered with new Tupperware containers and tools. I love my Tupperware. I have come to a point that I want nothing but Tupperware in my cabinets. I'm thinking about clearing out cupboard by cupboard and making the right decision in keeping or getting rid off. So if you're interested in getting some second hand kitchen goodies, just yell. Any leftovers will go to the Thriftstore without hesitation. I'm so looking forward to having de-cluttered cabinets.

I would like to reorganize my cabinets and keep all of my different size mixing bowls in one place, together with my measuring cups and spoons, shaker, baking mats, baking tins and MultiFlex silicone pans. There has to be a better way than what I'm used to. There should be a cabinet for (non)electrical devices, that includes my mixer, blender and Tupperware devices: TurboMax, QuickChef, ExtraChef, SpeedyChef, MandoChef. Can't believe I haven't bought the TurboChef yet. Have to write that down on my Tupperware wishlist. They all come in handy. I couldn't choose between any of them and no: I will not give up my Tupperware devices.

I would like to get rid of my deepfryer. It would be healthier not having one around. But I think my Hubby will not agree on this one. Maybe I should put it deeper down the cabinet, out of sight and empty?
I have plenty of microwave containers. They have been designed for reheating and cooking in the microwave. My MicroGourmet is just wonderful. Love to steam my potatoes and veggies all in one. It's a good way to cook healthy food.

Counting my wooden spoons, I realize they are no longer worth keeping. I'm throwing them out. They don't look good anymore and I can replace them by Tupperware spoons, that are much easier to clean and prettier to look at. I assume that rule will work for the knives on my countertop as well. Since I've been using the Tupperware knives, I no longer use my old knives so why bother hanging on to them and have the overloaded tools canister tip over every so often? There's one knife I will keep, despite its grungy look and blunt blade. It's the knife I inherited when I left my student's room. I'm gonna hold on to that one just one more year (or so).

I know some of the tools I use, would probably never be bought by you. I'm thinking of my garlic press or my ginger grater, the cheese mill, pasta maker and my Kenwood standmixer. They are essential to me though. I use them so often that I don't know how I would do without.

I'm getting a little depressed here. Am I sure I'm willing to let go of things? Or am I just making excuses why most of it should stay? I could use a hand in deciding what I use on a regular basis and what is just a gimmick. I want those cabinets organised and less full and cluttered. I'll get there. Trust me, it won't be done in one day, but I'll get there.. While reorganizing, I might as well soap down all of the cabinet interiors and ... AARRGGGHHH.

I can kick my own butt

I remember how impatient I was at the age of 18. I really wanted to get that driver's license as soon as possible. It would mean freedom, it would mean a milestone in my life. The day you turned 18, you didn't think much of getting a driver's license. You had your bus pass that brought you wherever you wanted to go or there was mom picking you up or driving you to places. I didn't understand. Why would you not want that independence?

One at a time, your friends started taking driving classes. In school, there was the opportunity to take your written exam and you passed right away. Cheer cheer! It was time to start taking classes. We decided both mom and dad would teach you the first classes, so you would build some confidence to drive with a teacher. I remember my first driving lesson: Never ever before had I had the steering wheel in my hands. My teacher couldn't believe me. He told me to start the car and hit the road and I felt pretty stupid and embarrassed that I had no idea how. He was very patient with me though, and it took me no more than 10 hours of driving to get my license. Things have changed quite a bit since then. I was so confident I was a good driver, but seriously: by no means was I able to face traffic. I knew how to shift gear and slam my breaks but come on, I couldn't drive at all! 10 hours of driving is by far not enough to get your permit.

Since you're in college, Bruges seemed like the best place for you to take classes. You finally decided it wasn't a bad idea after all, so you signed up and you set your goal: you wanted that licence before the end of the year. You cursed at yourself for failing in traffic at times and you would chew your lip if things were getting hectic. But overall you did real well. You listened to your teachers and you followed their advice. You even tried to correct us parents for not doing the right thing...

The date was set: you were going to do your driving test on Christmas Eve. I told you there were two options: either you would succeed or you would succeed with flying colors. I had no doubt you would go for the second option. Your teacher gave you 2 more hours of driving class right before the exam. Around 2:30 PM it was time for you to own that car and show the examiner you were in control. I was already on my way to Bruges to pick you up. 45 min after you started driving, I held my phone in my hands, to await your text message that you had passed. And you called and you laughed and then we both started to shout: woohoo!! Flying colors! Congrats sweetie! You just opened another door to a bright future. So proud of you! 

Hello World

It was freezing cold this morning. I didn't feel like getting out of bed yet, especially not after lacking too much sleep. But it was a working day and there's nothing left to do than get up and going. A cup of hot coffee and steamed milk got me going. I cuddled the whippets before I sneaked out and into my car. Driving up the highway, I turned on the radio and the wonderful song Hello World immediately made me smile. Looking in my rearview mirror, I could see a beautiful sunrise and I had a hard time focusing on the road ahead of me. My eyes kept going back to see that beautiful orange ball of fire. Life is swell, even when it's dark and cold..

Scatterbrain

Honestly, I don't know what happened, but my mind is always distracted lately. I can't focus properly, I forget things and I don't seem to hear what people try to tell me. Too often I have to ask my friends to repeat what they have just said, because I missed parts of the conversation. It's like my brain is not keeping up with the thoughts?

I'm too busy doing a zillion things. I need to make priority lists so I can get things done before they get out of hand. So much running around, driving way too many miles in too little time. Rush rush in the rat race. I long for next week. I long for some quiet time.. My brain just doesn't stop talking to itself. There are so many things I need to remember and cannot forget. Forgive me for not hearing you or for asking things for the third time. I'm getting there. Today will be more organized. Maybe my hairdresser can massage my skull and let some tension drift off. A night out with my sister-in-law sounds very appealing, so we're heading towards the beauty salon together. Zen...

In that case you are totally hired

Broken oven door: fixed.
Vacuuming the house: done.
Removing cabinet door to the microwave to be fixed: check.
Ironing baskets full of laundry: perfect!
Making the house clutter free:  all righty!
Walking the dogs, day after day, cold or wet outside: sign me up.
Coming up with great ideas for Christmas presents: woohoo!
Going to work in between chores: always.

Thank you for doing all the things you do. It makes life easier x

CHAOS

I guess you're familiar with CHAOS aka Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome? You know, the times when your house is a total mess? When you haven't cleaned properly for weeks and piles of laundry are about to take over the washing room? Every day I realize I'm not Superwoman. I don't like to clean although I would love to live in a Spic & Span house. I bookmark tips and tricks on Pinterest although I never get to try them. There are so many cleaning products in the house and they make me feel good looking at them. I dream of a spotless kitchen and it would be great to sit on a furfree couch. But hey! We have kids and we have pets. We run busy lives and we are not spending most of our lives outdoors. In fact, I spend quite some time inside the house, doing other chores than cleaning. I love to cook and yes, flour may dust my kitchen cabinets while I'm kneading bread dough. I stopped apologizing for it some time ago. Take it or leave it. You're all welcome here and I love having you over. The girls can bring friends along and sleepovers get served breakfast if they get up early enough. I like the smell of oven casseroles late at night, while the lights are dimmed and the TV has been turned off. I see some dust on my cupboards and I know both fridges could do with a decent clean up, but I prefer to go through my recipes and find more inspiration for the upcoming week. I just realized I don't have many cookbooks for vegetarians. I have one, my youngest daughter surprised me with last Christmas. It's a wonderful book with great recipes and ditto pictures. Do you think she was already preparing a vegetarian lifestyle back then? Or maybe she just wanted to surprise me with a cookbook that didn't talk about meat too much, since I'm not that much of a meatlover anyway. I went grocery shopping this week and I bought meat for 1 week. The amount was pathetic. Just for my husband, who was used to eating 3 pieces of meat per meal before he met me. He went down to just 1 piece of meat nowadays. I'm sure he'll never never never ever become a vegetarian, but there's no need to. As long as he respects our menu too. So far so good!

Free your mind and the rest will follow

She's sound asleep, lying on her back on the couch. One arm just fell out of the chair and is dangling, her fingers almost reaching the floor. Both whippets are right beside her, like they are safekeeping her. I see two sets of dog eyes looking at me, but not losing contact with the person they are looking after. Her lips have opened up a bit and I can hear her breathe soundly. She looks relaxed, her hair surrounding her angelic face. It's tangled on one side and one of her cheeks looks rosy and warm. She hasn't been sleeping much lately. It's not her way to fall asleep on the couch. She passed that stage a long time ago. I wish we could go back in time and reassure her she's fine, just the way she is. I want to hug that little girl she once was. I want to hold her in my arms and cuddle her and stroke her hair. She's not that little girl anymore. She's a beautiful young lady. Somewhere deep inside, there is still that little girl, trying to grow up and find her way in life. She'll get there. I have faith. She's a delicate swan, trying to make her first flight. She will spread her wings. It may take some time and some help but she'll get there.. 

I'm not a new kid on the block

Isn't it funny, that so many non-diabetics let us diabetics know how to treat our disease? They send us emails concerning healthy diets, they point out natural cures like cinnamon (no, it does not replace insulin, sorry) or some organic coffee to lower your bloodsugar. Sometimes I feel like a real idiot for not knowing about these simple cures.. Where was I all that time?

I read this letter today, written by someone with D. It says exactly how I feel when it comes to "helping" someone with diabetes. It could be interesting to read. After all, don't we all know people with this condition? Excuse us for the inside jokes among diabetics. We are allowed to make those jokes. My friends know why we look out for knee high shorts on sales. Those are personal insider jokes, not jokes non-diabetics may make..

Diabetes Etiquette for people who DON’T have diabetes

• DON’T offer unsolicited advice about my eating or other aspects of diabetes: You may mean well, but giving advice about someone’s personal habits, especially when not requested, is not very nice. Besides, many of the popularly held beliefs about diabetes (You should just stop eating sugar) are out of date or just plain wrong.

• DO realize and appreciate that diabetes is hard work: Diabetes management is a full time job that I didn’t apply for, didn’t want, and can’t quit.

• DON’T tell me horror stories about your grandmother or other people with diabetes you have heard about: These stories are not reassuring.

• DO offer to join me in making healthy lifestyle choices: Not being alone is one of the most helpful things for me.

• DON’T look horrified when I check my blood sugars or give myself an injection: It’s not a lot of fun for me either. Checking sugars and taking medications are things I have to do to be healthy. If I have to hide while doing so, it makes it much harder for me.

• DO ask how you might be helpful: If you want to be supportive there may be lots of little things I would probably appreciate your help with. However, what I really need may be very different from what you think I need, so please ask first.

• DON’T offer thoughtless reassurances. When you first learn about my diabetes you may want to reassure me by saying things like “Hey, it could be worse; you could have cancer!” this won’t make me feel better. And the implicit message seems to be that diabetes is no big deal. However, diabetes (like cancer) IS a big deal.

• DO be supportive of my efforts for self-care: Help me set up an environment for success. Please honor my decision to decline a food choice, even when you really want me to try it. You are most helpful when not being a source of unnecessary temptation.

• DON’T!!! Peek at or comment on my blood sugars without asking me first: These numbers are private unless I choose to share them. It’s normal to have numbers that are sometimes too low or high. Your unsolicited comments about them can add to the frustration, disappointment, and anger I already feel.

• DO offer your love and encouragement: As I work hard to manage my diabetes, sometimes just knowing you care can be very helpful and motivating.

It runs in the family, they say..

"So are there any other diabetics in your family?", she asked. In fact, there are. Well, some are no longer here. There was my grandmother on my mother's side. She passed away a long time ago, probably because of T2 related complications. There's my mom's sister and brother, who both have diabetes, as in T2 and prediabetes. On the other side of the family, there was my great grandfather, who was a T2 diabetic as well as my grandfather and some even say my grandmother was a T2 as well, but I'm not sure about that. There's my father's sister, who has been shooting up insulin for 14 years now and there's another sister who has to "pay attention" to what she eats, if you know what I mean. And then there's the family dog... Her name was Charlotte. Or Bollie. She had different names. She was quite old when she got diagnosed with diabetes. Her knees showed infected wounds and her eyes had known better days... I knew nothing about diabetes in those days. But I could tell the dog was suffering and hurting. She must have been so thirsty and tired and she probably urinated quite a bit. I can't remember, but I do remember the sadness in her eyes.

"So did the dog get treated for her diabetes?", the nurse asked.. I got quite emotional over that question. That's how I feel when it comes to diabetes. We hold on to one another because of the mutual bond diabetes brought us. Even pets with diabetes are welcome in the group. Because we know what it feels like. Because we can relate to each other without words. My vet told us, our sighthounds could never get diabetes. It's not possible in that breed. Would that work for people too? Would there be some race that will never get diabetes?

Is it that strange?

I'm scrolling through pictures people have posted on FaceBook. Pictures of their homes, their family, their vacation in some far off place. That's how it goes nowadays. People let you look into their lives, even if you have never met them in real life. You get to know them by their snapshots. Is it surprising to you, that they only upload the pictures that make them look their best? If you're lucky, nobody else will post pictures of you in your right-out-of-bed-look. Only the best shots will make the FaceBook album: dressed to the nines, happy smile, beautiful outfits and straight from the hair salon: picture perfect families. Because we all want to look our best, right? Right?

It's like getting your school report. You tell whoever wants to know, what your grades are. That is, if those grades are good enough to share. If they are not that good to show off, you won't mention them, would you? It's not like you would step up to people and say: hey, wanna know about the bad score I got on my mathematics test? You keep the scores to yourself and you hope nobody will ask about them.

You can tell people about your bad day at work. How crappy it was and how you hope it will end soon. Will you also tell them, that bad day was caused because you went to bed late after an argue with your husband? Is it to their concern that you didn't sleep all night and you want your colleagues to take the blame for your bad day? No, FaceBook will only state: terrible day at work.. and your followers will get back to you saying how sorry they feel for you and that they hope you will have a better day tomorrow. Because we don't want to share what went wrong..

Trying to show the best of us, is what we were brought up with. It was important to our parents, to show how successful you were. It probably makes parents feel better about themselves, if their children do well in school, at work, in their social life. They'd rather not have others know that their son drinks because he can't cope with the high standard life has brought him. They don't want people to find out their youngest got kicked out of school for the second time, so they say he switched school because it had more opportunities. Because we all want to look our best. It is important to us that people have a good impression about who we are.

I'm always happy to share good blood work when it comes to diabetes. I like my numbers to behave and I have no problem typing them down for others to see. Every now and then I even share images of good graphs and "perfect" situations. Because it takes hard work to get those numbers and you put a lot of effort in it. Doctors ask you to do your best and make sure that HbA1c is below 7%. Because you don't want to get nasty complications, do you? They state the importance of having your numbers within range (and the margins become tighter over the years). Not one doctor prepares you for numbers that are way out of line. They don't tell you it is more likely to have off numbers than readings that make you feel good. So you want to live up to their standard. You want your D to be in control. Because you want to look your best. Diabetes isn't easy. It's not always the way you want it to be. It is hard to admit. It doesn't make you a terrible person if you let others know your numbers were way out of range. Then why is it so hard? Why don't we let others see our dark side? I dare you all, to post your worst self pic ever. I challenge you to write on your FB status: "Did lousy at work today. I made my colleagues look bad and I screwed up on a very important job." Don't be afraid about the comments you'll get. I won't fear the comments after having posted a crappy D-day, due to miscalculating carbs for that wonderful cheesecake, high readings, pump sites that stayed in way too long.
I dare you. 

It serves a crowd

There's always something cookin' on the stove or simmering in the oven. Whether it's a hearty dish or a sweet treat: I want to make it! I love the smell of food around the house. I love the heat the oven brings and the goodies on the table when we are having guests over for a night of fun. I (could) fill my days looking for new recipes to try out or writing down my approved recipes on my food blog. It's crazy sometimes, to hear strangers talk about my blog. They are not always aware I'm the person behind the recipes. So their comments are honest and hearing their enthusiasm keeps me going.

My food blog was meant to be a future reference for my girls. I would hate to see my favorite recipes get lost over the years. The original plan, was to make a digital cookbook, 365 days. In the meantime, I have posted no less than 682 recipes! That is frigging awesome! My greatest wish though, is to, one day, have them all printed out in a book. In color, of course. I hate cookbooks without pictures. The pictures are part of the fun and necessary to keep the reader reading. You have to drool over your desk, going through the recipes. Your taste buds need to be tickled and I want to spark that enthusiasm for cooking you didn't know you had in you.

Do you think cooking and eating is like sports? Like in, you can get addicted? I'm not sure... I know what food I like, but I have never had any sort of addiction when it comes to sports. Couldn't live without food or kitchen experiments. Sports haven't killed me, but they haven't actually kept me alive either. Let's stick to what I do best: Cooking and High Heels!

Like tearing off a band aid very slowly

Growing up is about getting chances in life. It's a continuous system of learning and experiencing. Turning 16 makes you long for that 18th birthday. In the mean time, you hang out in school, have good times with friends and there are no worries. The other sex looks more appealing than ever and you start dating. The feeling of being in love is just magical. We all wanted that first real love to be everlasting. Longing to be with your crush becomes priority number one. You write each other little scribbles and his text messages make your cheeks blush. It is exciting to have a boyfriend to love. It feels great to love back..

You loved having your buddy in highschool. Do you remember how the two of you met on the bus? I sure remember the day you asked me if you could spend some time with him. You were in love. I could tell from the look in your eyes. We were happy to invite him over to our house and welcome him into our family not too long after the first encounter. He looked very lovable: curly blond hair, a bright smile that showed off perfect teeth. He played in a band. Blues is what made his heart tick. He was crazy about you. Having dinner together, we learned more about what kept him busy and you sure kept him busy. It warmed our hearts to see the two of you together. I still play his first CD in my car, singing along out loud. He could come over as often as he wanted and you liked spending time at his place too.

Our whippets were not used to having other men in our household and they barked at him the first couple of times he came over. He wasn't crazy about pets since they didn't have any in his household. But he learned to appreciate them and his siblings were thrilled once they got their own puppy. 

We knew difficult times were going to come up once he would leave for University. Things would no longer be the same and the obvious daily meet ups would no longer be there. You would have to figure out different ways to keep seeing each other. That ain't easy, I can tell you. Being a student in college or uni is different from being a highschool kid. He had his own student's room in Ghent and you could visit him there. His rhythm of life was a bit different from yours: he's a true night owl, playing games all night with people all over the world. I liked having him around the dining table, listening to his stories and getting involved in his discussions over life. He got to meet your grandparents, aunts and uncles and he survived! 

You spent a wonderful time with your friend Axelle in Italy. He hitchhiked to Portugal with his friends and that sounded so like him, the adventurous guy. I'm sure he had a ball too.

From now on, you have your own student's room. Not in Ghent, like you planned, but in Bruges. A train ride Bruges-Ghent is not too far off and the picture of the two of you got a special place on your new desk.

Both of you will have good memories of the 2.5 years you spent together. You helped each other grow in life and you learned to love. It was good to have someone around who knew all about you. Things will be a bit different now. You will meet new people and you will have fine conversations with other friends. He will continue to play blues on his mouth organ and he will continue his discussions about life with teachers and friends. We will miss him. You will miss him. He will miss you too...