In a perfect world..

Photo Eva Joos

.. shoes would never hurt, clothes would always fit like a glove and hair would shine like in TV commercials. No need to complain about your eyelashes since yours are the thickest and longest since Maybelline started selling their products. Beauty specialists would sigh by the sight of your perfectly shaped eye brows and natural make up that gives you the glow you deserve. Your teeth would be sparkling white and your nails long and manicured like those of a movie star. You would have a long neck, perfectly straight shoulders, a dazzling cleavage and slim arms. Your waist would resemble the waist of Cher and your hips would be wider to represent that hour glass shape we all envy, ending in a firm Jennifer Lopez bum. Who said you couldn't have legs like Cindy Crawford and well shaped feet to fit those towering Louboutins?

There is no need to aim any higher. You're perfect, just the way you are. You look like a princess and you have the ability to conquer anyone's heart... That young man who will pick you up in a couple of hours time, is the luckiest man ever, for he can call you his girlfriend. 

Creating lasting memories

She was walking around Ghent, in between babysitting hours.
He took the bus from his house to Ghent, to see a glimpse of her.
They ran into each other at Petit Coeur, a unique coffee place in the middle of town. That's where they had lunch together. Do you think they were holding hands?
He didn't have much spare time, but nevertheless, he chose to take that bus and surprise her. I think that was a very lovely thing to do. She probably sighed ooh's and aah's.
Her eyes light up with every text message he sends her. She talks in a softer voice. Daydreams distract her from whatever she's doing and her mind drifts off every often so. I'm so happy for her. Being in love is wonderful and is to be cherished.
I'm glad she's telling me more about him. I believe he's good for her. She's my little girl, growing up to become a young woman. I think she's ready for it. I think I am too...

Just the way you are

Every day I discover new things about you and your personality. I'm happy with who you are and what you stand for. You're a smart girl and you look gorgeous. You take good care of yourself and spend quite some time in the bathroom. I guess you are ready for a boyfriend and want to show the best of you. You are beautiful just the way you are. There's no need to put on make up. Show your natural beauty and highlight your smile, because when you smile your broadest smile, your eyes laugh and that's irresistible. Boys like girls who are not afraid to be themselves. There's no need to copy someone else. We have seen you go through different stages in puberty. Trying to discover yourself, you try out different styles and attitudes. That one special boy will find you, don't worry. He will be there before you know it. You already have lots of friends, and quite some male friends. They like you sweetie. Don't try too hard. It all starts as being friends...

7 days in a week

Cracking my mind over the perfect Christmas gift for a 13 year old cousin, I was thinking about my own childhood and how things have changed over the years. Kids no longer play Twister on the floor in the kitchen or stick their tongue between their teeth while making their best drawing ever in their Moleskine sketchbook. Contemporary children look at you in a very strange way if you give them a CD or knitted gloves for those cold winter days. Times have changed and so have the presents. It's not real easy to make a child happy if you don't want to buy them the 34th playstation game or give them an envelope with paper money (I hate money envelopes - nothing personal about giving money). But then what do you give them?

Do you remember the panties, printed with the days of the week? There were 7 of them..  (this child probably lost one.. what a tragic moment). Each one had a different color and image and of course every single one said what day of the week you had to wear it. I loved those panties! They were awesome! I remember my set of Holly Hobby underwear and how difficult the day started if I couldn't find the matching pair of knickers. You just couldn't wear your Thursday panties on a Monday! That was simply not done. The knickers would come in a plastic see through package, with a snap button in the middle. You could see all knickers were sitting next to each other, showing the days in the exact order. I'm pretty sure my sister had a similar package of knickers, probably with other images. I don't recall this kind of underwear existed for boys? I could be wrong though..

Anyway, back to the subject.. I still haven't found the perfect present for the 13 yo old, let stand the 12 yo boy. I know they would rather have money, but hey, I'm not giving in! I will find that one present they have been longing for (without being aware of that craving). Maybe I need to do some shopping tomorrow. I don't mind you helping out though..

I love your smile

Photo Lana Joos

Your mom chose Hubby as your godfather. He was very proud that she had asked him and he looked forward to being a good godfather. Someone you could count on. Someone who would be there for you whenever you needed him. You're 12 now. Ready to go to Highschool. That comes with a family party, this afternoon. We will all be there, except for Lana, who is still in summer camp. But she'll be thinking of you. It will be your special day and everybody you love will be there to celebrate you. We love you kiddo. You are special to us as a godson but also as a nephew for our girls. When we have you over at our house, we have fun and we do things together. I never heard you protest to come stay with us and sleep over.
In September, you will be going to your new school. Last year, you were the oldest in school. This year, you'll be the youngest again. It will be strange to make new friends, have different teachers and different subjects. But as always: you'll do just fine. It might be frightening in the beginning and it will take you some time to adjust, but it's a good thing you are not shy. It's easy for you to mingle and make new friends. You're an outgoing personality.
It's a pleasure to hear you laugh. Most of the times, when you laugh, tears roll down your cheeks. It's a catching smile and we can't but laugh along. Keep that humor with you. It makes life a whole lot more fun.
Your godfather is going to take you to the Euro Space Center. Just the two of you. How about that? I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun.

Photographs and memories

Photographs and memories
Christmas cards you sent me
All that I have are these
to remember you..

Summer skies and lullabies
Nights we couldn't say goodbye
And of all the things that we knew
Not a dream survived

Photographs and memories
All the love you gave to me
Somehow it just can't be true
That's all I have left of you..

I used to have my own little treasure box, where I would safe keep my memories of former boyfriends. It came with a lock and a tiny key. It held all of my movie theatre tickets (not that I had that many), a plastic ring (given to me by a very shy young man in France at the age of 13), a cigarette butt (gosh, you all know how I hate cigarettes but I treasured that butt for the lips that had touched it), love letters, a candy wrapper, a pants knot that came off while making out, ..

Over the years, more memories found their final destination in my little treasure box. Pictures were added, love letters got torn and taped back together, an engagement ring got polished before I trusted it to sit by my other memories.

We lived together and had a passionate but at the same time very disturbing relationship. You were so jealous, lacked so much confidence. One day, you found my little treasure box under our bed. You frantically searched the apartment for the key, that you couldn't find, since it was sitting on my key chain I had in my purse. It didn't keep you from forcing the lock and scattering the contents of the box out on the bed. You went through all of my personal memories, my own private belongings. It broke my heart when I came home and found pictures to be torn in two, separating male and female on the portrait. You threw out what was of no meaning to you, but very dear to me. Memories that could never be replaced. I cried silent tears. You took away part of my past and you couldn't comprehend the importance of your deeds. You had no idea the handkerchief in my box was yours. Whenever you weren't around, I would hold it in my hands at night in bed to be closer to you. The handkerchief got burned in your rage.

The actual objects may no longer be available, but the memories will never fade. Because that's what memories do.. They stay with you for the rest of your life. But I wish I could have my treasure box back and go through all those little items, for I assume I must have forgotten some after all..

What's love got to do with it?

Everything! It's so obvious that you love her deeply. The way you look at her, says it all. The two of you have been a couple for over one year now and you're still madly in love. It's a pleasure to have you over. I hope you feel welcome here. You're a decent young man and you treat our daughter with respect. Your last months in highschool are coming to an end. It will be kind of awkward for our daughter to not have you around in school. You take the same bus every morning and every now and then, you visit us after school. I love to cook dinner for you. You appreciate my cooking and it's a pleasure to see you have second and third servings. Thank you for loving our daughter. You make her happy..

Don't you remember?

Seventeen years ago, you opened your mouth and screamed your first sound on this planet. Just one day after your cousin was born, you decided to join her. What a delight to have two little babies in the family at the same time. The two first grandchildren (of nine) for my inlaws. It was a shame though, that I never got to visit you in the hospital, since I was taking care of my own little girl in a different hospital. But ever since, we meet up regularly and you and your cousin get along just fine. It hasn't always been like that. As toddlers, you weren't the best of friends, competing with one another. But the two of you made up and now you are good friends. Sometimes you even go out together and it's charming to see how you chaperone your cousin to the car, when it's time for me to pick her up.

Happy Birthday dude. I can't call you boy or kiddo and you're not a grown man either, so I'll call you dude, okay? You're a wonderful young man.

Little Miss Popular

It was great to see the big smile on your face, coming home from school with two ruby red roses in your hand.. Not one, but two boys had offered you a Valentine's present, just because they love you for who you are. Isn't that special? I was so happy for you! Even if they're not that one special boyfriend, the gesture made you happy instantly. You are pretty special, you know, and that doesn't go unseen. You get noticed sweetheart! Boys fancy your cute appearance and your personality. And why wouldn't they?

The test of time

Every time when I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer. The past is gone. It went by, like dusk to dawn. Isn't that the way? Everybody's got the dues in life to pay..

I always said I didn't mind getting older. I had no grey hairs to dye, no wrinkles to treat. Times have changed. The sign of the times has started to show. I'm no longer a young woman. Not that I feel old, on the contrary. I feel young and vibrant, but my body is starting to discuss with the heart and the mind. I feel 40, for the first time in my life. But then again: what's wrong with being the age you are? It would be worse if I would feel 50 at the age of 40, right? I always claimed I was not going to grow older than 50. Meaning that I have a pitiful 10 more years to enjoy. That would be very sad, since I love to live. Maybe I should broaden my boundaries and go for 60? On the other hand, 60 isn't that old either. Hmhmh.. it's getting difficult here. Good enough we don't have to decide on how long we will be on this planet. It's not up to us at all. There are no certainties in life, besides being born and leaving this world. When that is going to happen, is one big question. I'm not even close, that I know. So I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. I want to live, I want to feel alive. Even at the age of 40, we're entitled to some fun. It's okay to feel young and bubbly. I'm not ready to give that enthusiasm up that easily, despite the test of time..

Tête à tête

When she told me she wanted to make dinner for her boyfriend, I thought that was a very lovely way of saying how much she loved him.. I can tell they are deeply in love, because it shows. He's a good boy and he treats her well. And by the look in her eyes I can tell she's happy..

She started her preparations early that afternoon. Making sure she had everything handy by the time she really needed to cook. Going through the cabinets, looking for the dishes she wanted the use, I felt pride and joy for my beautiful young daughter, who is growing into a wonderful young lady. He's a lucky man. He'd better take good care of her and love her with all his heart. My gut feeling says he does. I have never heard him speak poorly of her or see him mistreat her in some way. It's a blessing to see my little girl in love.. We granted them some private time to have their dinner. The candles were lit while I was upstairs, typing this blog and enjoying the clattering sound of their laughter. Being in love does things with people. I'm so happy for them..

Home

When I think of home, I think of a place, where there's love overflowing..  A place where you feel safe, nurtured and cared for. A place you never have to fear and a place you can always come back to. A safe haven, a place full of joy and laughter, but also a place where tears are allowed to roll down your cheeks. A comfort zone, a cosy chair, like gloves that fit well. Aren't we all entitled to a loving home? A home where you can be whoever you are, without fear, without being ridiculed. A warm home, full of caring people and shoulders to lean on. Strong arms to hold you, nice words when you're feeling down and thumbs pointing up when you did great. Someone to kiss goodnight and to hold you tight whenever you feel the need.. What more can one wish for..

Talk to the hand

the ears are not listening. That's pretty much what I was like at the age of 19. I wanted to be independent, live by myself, make my own money. Still in college, I tried to make the most of it. Having my own car - in those days, I used to save money - gave me so much more freedom then I was used to. Living in a student room away from home, gave me the peace and joy I was looking for. It was great to have friends over and cook dinner for my guests. My cat loved to curl up on my bed and keep me warm. Who cared if the dishes weren't done for a whole week? So what if I ate a whole box of Honey Pops a day? I was finally free! I could make my own decisions and lead my life the way I wanted to lead it. And despite all the negative comments, I did real well in college. I had good grades and I didn't skip (m)any classes. There was no need to, because I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to after school..

Three years of living all by myself, was the best thing for me. Having a social life and exploring the surroundings, without being stopped by curfews. College life was good, being 19 was sweet. I knew what it felt like to be captured in a cage. No financial problems whatsoever and always a place to sleep, but freedom was out there and not within reach. My sense for independence gave me the strength to move on and see for myself what life was about. I made mistakes and some things could've been prevented, but nevertheless, I never regretted moving out..

Discover who you are. Dare to be who you are. Find a life of your own and enjoy the good times. You will be 19 only once.. Happy Birthday, my friend!

Purple Rain

You know the song, but did you know there was a movie too? I guess I was around 13 - 14 at the time and I didn't have much opportunity to go out with friends, but this time, I got to go. I remember the darkness in the movie theatre. My friend and I were pretty nervous, because two boys decided they wanted to sit next to us. They were French and we didn't understand them, so we signed it was okay. Our hearts were pounding inside our bodies and we feared they might ridicule our nervous behavioral issues. We giggled like only 14 year old girls can do.. I can't remember what the boys looked like and we probably never knew their names. We didn't tell ours either. But how exciting it was to have them sit next to us.. His hand on my knee made me freeze and I was too shocked to wipe it off my pants. So it stayed there all the way through the duration of the film. The hand didn't do anything. It just sat there, frozen to my leg. I couldn't concentrate on the movie. I do remember the music though and every time I hear the song, it brings me back to that Wednesday afternoon. My friend and I had something to think about and we were all excited about our grown-up adventure at the movie theatre..

Falling in love

What a wonderful feeling, the butterflies chasing one another in your stomach. Not paying any attention to the teacher, you wonder about your crush and what you're going to tell him. A thousand different scenarios cross your mind. He doesn't know about you nor your love for him and you prefer to keep that a secret for just a little longer. Just because it's such a wonderful feeling you don't want to spoil the moment..

You scribble small notes, that you fold and fold until there's almost nothing left but a hard piece of paper. Holding it between thumb and index, trying to decide whether you would try to make the piece of paper reach its destination. You hesitate.. what if he doesn't fancy you? What if the love is not mutual? Your eyes make holes in the back of his head, while you try to imagine the different colors in his eyes. His right eye is slightly more brownish with some extra green speckles. The little hairs in the back of his neck are just asking to be touched. There's no way you would try to do that. He's sitting besides your best friend. She's smiling at him. The corners of your mouth point downwards and you wish she weren't blond and her legs wouldn't be gorgeous stilts. He touches her hand while he reaches over and hands her his pen and jealousy has never been stronger. You wish you were her. You wish you were the lucky one..

The little piece of paper finds another destination, deep down into your pocket. Next to the other pieces of paper you wrote earlier that week. No way you will ever let him know how you feel. By no means will you approach him and make a fool out of yourself!

"Would you like to share my snickers?" he whispers in your ear. You didn't hear him come over. Startled by the moment, you are afraid to look up at him. He hands you over half of his snickers and you're too afraid to eat them. You cherish the piece of candy bar, because you know it touched his mouth.. He walks back to his seat, wrenching his legs as his knees touch the desk. He looks over his shoulder while he winks at you. Rolling his eyes, he listens to his neighbor - your best friend - but he thinks about you.. The brownish-green speckled eyes are sparkling and there's a hint of love in them.

The bell rings. You shuffle over to his desk, drop the folded pieces of paper in his lap, straighten your shoulders and walk out the class room. Victory.. and it feels great!

Size matters

It really does. I never thought I would say this, but size does matter. It makes a huge difference, if you wear a size 0 or a size 8. Oh you dirty minds! Did you really think I was going to discuss whatever you had in mind?? DUH!

No, seriously. In our society, size really matters. People look at you in a different way if you have a bigger size than what is seen as "normal". And trust me: any size bigger than a size 2 is being considered  a bigger size, unfortunately. It makes people feel insecure and it's not good for our selfesteem to be looked at as abnormal because of our size. Your size doesn't make you a better or a worse person, but people do treat you differently. I know, because I've been there. My selfworth was non existing when I had a larger size. It came back as my weight shrank, up to the point where I felt real confident. Until I heard that I was getting too skinny. That I needn't loose any more weight. Not by one person, but several people have told me to stop loosing weight. It's very confrontational. If you're bigger, you keep hearing that you absolutely need to loose weight (like you don't know that?). You do whatever you can to keep yourself from growing even bigger and people don't keep their comments to themselves. You know they give you that sad look when you pass them in the street. You know how they talk about you when they see you eat a treat. It hurts when the lady in the fitting room tells you they don't have that shirt in your size.. And then you start to loose weight. It finally comes off and you instantly feel better. You straighten your shoulders and the way you swing your hips is more appealing and even sexy. You hear compliments, but you can't accept them yet. Taking a look at your naked body in the mirror is still not your favorite pastime, but it's less hurtful when some pounds have gone.

What if your clothes size has dropped 5 sizes? Is that something to be proud of? I guess so. Yes, I can say I'm proud of me. But at the same time, I'm afraid to say so, because I know how hurtful it is to someone who is still in the bigger size section. I wouldn't want to offend them. I know what it feels like, after all, to be stared at and to be condemned. I don't want to be part of that society that judges people who are bigger or slimmer than the "normal" size. I love my bigger and slimmer friends for who they are and not for the size they have or don't have. There's more to life than weight issues, but I won't pretend those issues are not important..

The Careless Whisper

Having teens in the house, makes you relive your own puberty. I love to look back and the memories often make me smile and my eyes shine. Just like our youngest daughter, I was 14 and in highschool. I had this boyfriend that I was not allowed to have. He was a bad boy: too old for me, too experienced, too out of school. But I looked up to him and he showed me a world I had not entered before.

He would wait for me after school and take me for a drink in a nearby club. It was dark in there and I was not allowed as a minor. I don't remember how he got me in, but he managed every single time. We would have a drink (I didn't drink any alcohol though) and we would dance and make out.

Last week, I heard George Michael's Careless Whisper on the radio. I instantly smiled, because it brought me back to the club. I don't even recall the name of the place, but I remember the songs they used to play... and the memories that came with it..

My lucky clover

I must have been 14 or maybe 15 at the time. He had gone to Switzerland and when he came back, he gave me a handpicked lucky clover and a little white flower by the romantic name "edelweiss". There was a message to go with the little treasures: he wanted to guard over me and make sure I would be happy for the rest of my life..

I kept the clover and the edelweiss in my wallet for many, many years. It made stains on my driver's license. Every now and then, I would open my driver's license and take a look at the little flowers. I'm a pretty sober person, but still, I didn't once consider to throw out those treasures, not even when my boyfriend and I broke up. I believed they would bring me luck and keep me safe.

Many years have passed since and along the line, I lost both the clover and the edelweiss. But I still remember what they looked like and how precious the gift was. It had not cost one penny, but the thought that someone had gone through the effort to pick these out for me, was priceless. He was a special young man and I had loved him deeply. It's a good memory. It's heart warming to look back..

Little monkey

You cheeky little boy! I was so happy you came to play with us last Thursday. Where's the little baby gone?? You're one now and you have made so much progress. Crawling around the house, making funny  noises and "asking" questions.. well, that is: uh? uh? while you're pointing at almost everything. There's not one thing you're not interested in. Playing with wooden spoons and colanders, I observed you. We even made an instrument for you: an empty bottle of soda filled with dry rice did the trick. You couldn't stop shaking the bottle and danced to the rhythm. What a funny guy!

The girls were so glad you were still here when school was out. The grins on their faces were charming. And so was yours! You like to have people around you. Even the cat, sitting outside on the window sill, fascinated you. Shouting at him and banging against the window, you tried to pull his attention.

So young, so naive, so playful.. and most of all: so happy. It's pretty obvious your mommy and daddy love you a lot and do whatever they can to give you the best in life. So many cuddles, so many nice words result in a happy little boy. Life is beautiful..

It's a small world after all

You and your brother immediately stole my heart, when I entered your home in the middle of a snowstorm that March. Your older brother sat in my lap right away, while you were a bit more timid. But soon enough we got to know each other better and we became best friends.
It was my job to bring you to school and pick you up around lunch. We had long chats in the kitchen and we had so much fun playing in the basement. I remember you riding your go-cart in the snow, wearing nothing more than a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Your ear to ear grin is a picture in my head I will never forget..

We keep in touch, your parents and I. When they let me know you were diagnosed with diabetes in 2006,  I was gobsmacked.. No... not you David... that was not fair!!!! I got my diagnosis 4 years earlier, but I was already an adult, married, with two children. You were only 18 and you have a whole life ahead of you. You were not supposed to get diabetes. I wished for you and your family a happy and healthy life without worries.

You had a hard time letting diabetes come into your life. It was not something you welcomed.. I wanted to come over and give you a hug. Let you know everything was going to be okay. I wanted to relieve your pain. Diabetes is a chronic disease, and up till now there's no cure. We keep hearing a cure is in sight, but so far, we're still waiting. We still need to provide our bodies with insulin and we need to poke our fingers several times a day to prevent complications in later life.

I read your family article online. I'm so proud of you guys! What a commitment. You are so lucky to have a supportive family. They love you to pieces, David! You're a pretty special boy, you know. I know you're a man now and it's been so long since I last saw you, that I still see the little blond boy you were back then in Chelmsford, Mass.

Let me copy the article here. The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation could use some extra funding. Good luck David! Till we meet again. Say hi to your mom, dad and brother for me, okay?

Chelmsford Family To Walk to Cure Diabetes

The McHugh Family will participate in the annual 5k.

• By Audrey Mangone
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• 6:00am

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Chelmsford residents Dennis and Susan McHugh walked their first 5K with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) five years ago and have not given their feet a break since.

“The annual JDRF walk is very personal for us,” said Susan McHugh.

The couple discovered JDRF back in 2006 shortly after their son David, then 18, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

“When we first found out our son was diagnosed we really didn’t know how to help him or ourselves,” said McHugh. “The disease really is a life-changing thing that affects so many people.”

Following the news of their son’s diagnosis, the family contacted a close friend who referred them to JDRF. According to McHugh, she and her family quickly became involved in the organization, walking in the Boston 5k that year.

“We walked then and continue to walk because we see what the organization is doing. We want more of it and we want to support it,” she said.

Since 2006, the McHugh family has continued to work with JDRF not only by consecutively participating in their annual 5k, but also by speaking at informational meetings hosted by the foundation as well.

“There are a lot of organizations out there doing great things, and JDRF is one of them,” said McHugh. “They really have found the magic and caused us to be hopeful.”

McHugh said seeing the event grow year after year has brought her hope.

“The first walk we did was amazing,” McHugh said. “We met other families going through the same thing we were, and there was so much positive energy. We were all there to help support the research that will make the lives of those affected better now.”

McHugh said the families she's met through the walk are inspiration for her to keep going.

“Living with diabetes is manageable, but it comes with lots of complications,” she said. “It’s not like you can skip treatment one night, like you can with brushing your teeth. It’s an ongoing thing. The only thing consistent about the disease is its inconsistency.”

McHugh hopes that the support from her family and others in and around Chelmsford continue to raise money and awareness for a promising future of diabetes.

“I believe the disease can be cured,” McHugh said. “The answer is out there, and we just have to push it over the edge to us.”

McHugh and her family will be lacing up their sneakers for their fifth 5k with JDRF this Saturday, Oct. 1. She hopes others in the community will support the event as well.

“The walk itself is going to be on a beautiful day, with lots of wonderful people and lots of fun,” she said.

Although she is excited for this year’s event, McHugh knows that her support for JDRF and the future of diabetes is just getting started.

“Things can always happen, and we all must support each other to find a solution,” she said. “We will beat this. We will walk forever if that is what it takes.”

To donate to the McHugh family in their walk in the JDRF 5K this Saturday, please visitwww.walk.jdrf.org, click on "Donate to a Walker" and type in Susan or Dennis McHugh.