The Talk

If you have kids, The Talk is inevitable at some point. Whether your children are 3, 10 or 14, one day you will have to sit down with them and talk about sex. I know you are not looking forward to that. Who would be? But it's necessary. Children need to know sex is normal and sex is part of life. You would want your children to be open to you and to come tell you when they are ready to have sex. You wouldn't want them to feel awkward about talking to you or let you know what keeps their minds busy. Because they do talk about it and they sure think about it! Don't underestimate them!

So yes, I have talked to my girls about sex. We had The Talk when either one of them turned 12. It was a mom-to-daughter talk and it was a private talk in the bedroom. We closed the curtains, we lit some candles and we snuggled up in bed and curled up against each other. I had bought a book on the subject, a book they could understand. So we went through the book together and we talked. I asked questions and so did they. I asked my eldest daughter if she had any questions for me. She asked me about masturbation. Shoot... I wish she had asked me something else first. But hey, no shame, remember? So I gave her a mirror and I let her explore herself. No more, no less. That was sufficient for her. She felt very grown up afterwards, that she had had The Talk!
Her sister had to wait two more years before it was her turn. And she did as well as her sibling. They both have a book they can understand and look into. They keep it in their room, and once in a while, I find it next to their beds. I believe they are growing up..
We also talked about condoms and AIDS and indecent proposals, about being gay or straight, about getting pregnant. I asked them to preserve themselves for that one special person they will meet one day.
And I let them know they could come and talk to me whenever they felt the need. I don't think they should marry the man they first sleep with. There are many candidates out there and they have to find their way and they should explore the world. That doesn't mean they have to hop into the bed of every Jack or Joe. They need to respect their bodies after all.
While we were talking, I asked them to come tell me if they were in love. Our eldest is 14. She's in love. And she's told me about it. I'm proud of her. She's a good girl. She knows what she wants and she sure knows what she doesn't want.

I wonder how hubby would've done if we would have had a son instead of girls. I'm sure he would have felt pretty awkward as well.