This is my life

You started smoking as a child. That's what people did in your days, that's just how it was and there were no statistics on the consequences of nicotine. You're a whole lot older now. Your wife got diagnosed with breast cancer, but she conquered this horrible condition. You were so happy that she was going to be with you for many more years. Many people asked you to give up on smoking, but you couldn't be convinced. It was your life and nobody - not even the doctors - could keep you away from cigarettes.

You are very ill now. This machine filled with oxygen is helping you breathe, because breathing on your own has become too hard. Your lungs are sick. Really sick.. You said: if only I had known.. if someone would have told me, I would have stopped smoking many years ago.. You hate the life you are leading now. Depending on a bottle of oxygen to feed you the air you desperately need. It's heartbreaking to see you in a wheel chair, because walking has become too strenuous for you. Your wife is homebound as well, because you're afraid to be left alone. Afraid you will run out of oxygen and die a horrible death. So she copes and she takes care of you and you wine and you moan and you feel terribly sorry for yourself.

It's devastating to see you struggle. The tubes in your nose tell the world you're not healthy any more. The horrible sound your breath makes after you tried to walk two steps.. The sweat dripping down from your forehead, when you grasp for air. I can't say it's your fault. You should've known better, but what's the use telling you... you know.. you know..