Take your suitcase and leave

Every time I didn't agree about something, you told me to pack my suitcase and leave. I have heard that sentence over and over, until that one particular day I had enough. So I told you I would pack my suitcase and leave. You replied: if you leave, you may never come back! And I gave up: if you say so..

So I went to my room and opened my dresser to see what I would take. I had no idea. What do you need when you leave the house that suddenly? I packed some pants and undies and a couple of shirts. I had no money, I had no place to go to, I had no job. But I left.. I had heard the suitcase sentence once too often.

Only two years later, when I was nearly 8 months pregnant, I went home again. Just to visit, because I had made my own life by then. You pretended nothing had happened and you didn't want to discuss the past. But you didn't make me feel at home. I didn't feel welcome. You never even asked about the two years you missed. You had no idea, but it didn't bother you at all.

The first time my husband told me to pack my bags and go, after we were in the midst of a firy discussion, I lost it. It all came back to me and I never wanted to hear that phrase again, and certainly not from my husband. He didn't have a clue. He knows better now. Nowadays, I only pack my suitcases to go on a holiday. And that's the only reason one should pack a suitcase..