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"Happy Mother's Day"

Photo Eva Joos

I'm blessed with two wonderful daughters.. They are the best daughters I could ever have wished for. Although I had not planned on having children, they came upon our way and they have enriched our lives ever since. I'm a lucky woman, I realize that. Who would I be without my baby girls..

Thank you for being who you are sweeties. You make me laugh, you make me happy. I love to hear your stories, to sit down with you and talk, to spend time together in the kitchen. It warms my heart when you open my very own cookbook to surprise me with a treat I wrote down for you. Let's cuddle up and feel our warmth. I love you girls.. Being who you are is the best present a mom could wish for..

There's a time and a place for anything

Being a teenager is real hard. You don't have a true identity yet and there are so many desires and wishes you want to fulfill. Being 15 is not like being 18. Growing up comes with responsibilities and getting privileges is not a one way direction. We need to find a good balance that all parties can be happy with. I know you compare with what your friends can do. We did the same thing when we were young. Some friends could go out later than we could. But we also knew that there were other friends who couldn't go out at all...

I was 18, the first time I could really go out. The plan was, to go to a New Year's Eve party in the pub just around the corner. I was totally excited about this night out. My friends had invited me over and I felt so grown up about going out. I even got a special outfit and new shoes.
Getting ready for the party, my mom told me I had to be home at midnight, 00:00 sharp to be exact. I was gobsmacked.. What did she mean, midnight??? It was New Year's Eve after all?? Everybody would make fun of me, for having to go home at such a ridiculous time..

I tried to talk my father into staying out later. He gave me that look, that didn't mean any good. He told me I had to be in by 00:00. There was no other option. I told him that the party wouldn't start till 00:00. I would miss out on all the fun. He answered me that I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. He had made his point: either I came home at midnight or I didn't go out at all. I was really upset but I knew his words where to be followed. I decided I was going to make the best of it. All of my friends were waiting for me to have dinner in the pub. We had a great time, laughing and being in each other's company. It was getting close to midnight. I kept looking on my watch - I had to be home in a couple of minutes. I didn't know what to do. Some friends dared me to stay later - others understood my dilemma and told me to go home in time. The countdown for the new year started and I kissed my friends good night. I opened the door of the pub, took a last glance at the people partying and ran home. By the time my key opened the door, I could hear the grandfather clock hit twelve o'clock. My mom looked at the clock, she looked at me and she went to bed. My heart was beating too fast, because I had run so hard to be home in time. I took a shower and got into my pajamas, reflecting over my first night out. I really wanted the night to not have ended that soon. But hey, I did have a great time. I had seen my friends, my outfit was great and we had enjoyed each other's company. It had been a night to remember. I can tell you, because 23 years later, I still remember how my cheeks were glowing with joy for that wonderful night out..

Money

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay. Isn't that sad? And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me... That is too bad. 

In my dreams I have a plan: If I get me a wealthy man,
I wouldn't have to work at all.
I'd fool around and have a ball..

Working three jobs, I could've been wealthy. The circumstances decided otherwise. I barely had any money to live. I had no money to eat a healthy diet or bring my clothes to the dry cleaner. There was no budget to have dinner with friends, go to the movies or relax at the hair dresser's. There was nothing but bills, debts and poverty, moneywise.

My main job was teaching. I worked full time as a kindergarten teacher. Apparently, there were some issues with my contract, so I didn't get paid for 7 months. That money was not lost, but just not available to hand me my pay cheque. Living by myself, I needed to make sure I had money to pay the rent and live my life. So I decided to find a second job. It didn't take me long. Looking after 5 kids at night, every night of the week. Helping them with homework, making sure they took their bath and they got fed. It paid peanuts, although the family was more than wealthy. I needed the money, so I took care of the kids, keeping in mind that I might need a third job to pay all the bills.

In the newspaper I saw an add to work as a waitress in a nearby restaurant. Having no proper transportation at the time, the owner of the restaurant decided he would come pick me up and take me home after the service. And that's exactly what he did, because I was good at doing my job. It meant no more baby sitting on weekends and some extra money - not a lot, because you don't make a fortune working as a waitress on weekends.. At least, the cook offered me decent, hot meals.. something I had lacked too often in the previous months.

Working three jobs and living all by myself was my choice. I don't regret doing what I did. It was a pain and yes, I was exhausted. But it also meant freedom. It meant I had the chance to grow (up) and take care of myself.
It didn't matter that I ate box loads of honey pops instead of home cooked meals. I could care less that one day I was dressed in jeans and T-shirts and the next day in a party dress. I was proud that I managed to live my dream and live all by myself. I didn't feel deprived of anything, since it gave me the chance to be independent. It would have been a whole lot nicer and easier if I would've had some money to my name, but it wasn't the case and what's the use of crying over spilled milk? I was young, healthy and motivated to get myself a decent future.

Is this the independence I would recommend to my children? Not exactly.. I hope they'll have a better start in life. I hope they will have a decent place to live and a proper job with a respectable pay check. They won't have to work 3 jobs to survive. Life doesn't have to be that hard on them. No matter what their choices in life will be, we'll be there to support them. They will have the chance to grow and make their own mistakes. We'll be there to catch them when they fall. They'll crawl up, move on and learn their lessons. But it doesn't have to be that hard.. they deserve better. I deserved better.

I save the day

It must have been 1985. I was in High School at the time. Roberto Jacketti and the Scooters was a Dutch group and they were popular back then, trust me. I had this brilliant idea to contact the group and ask them to come play their music in our school. I was so excited and couldn't wait to tell my friends about it!

It didn't take long before the group wrote me back (no email in those days!). They agreed to come to Ieper and perform in our school: for free! Ha! Really, come on! Who would do that??? I asked some friends to help me organize this great event and contacted the principal. He thought it were a very good plan to let them come perform in the last week of that school year.

Too bad I never heard them sing.. For some reason (don't ask me what reason - I don't even know the reason), my mother told me I was not going. I was devastated and nobody understood. Both the class teacher and the principal called my mother to persuade her to change her mind. But that's not the kind of person she is. She had made up her mind that I wouldn't have a wonderful afternoon with my friends.. She didn't save the day. I never forgot.

I save the day...

Mise-en-place

There's probably not one cooking show on TV that I don't watch. I love those programs! It's a whole lot of fun and entertainment comes along with it. But I also learn a lot from the candidates and their chefs. How to properly use a cook's knife for example. Or kitchen terminology like chiffonade. I knew the technique, but the name was new to me.

Mise-en-place is a lot of work, but it makes cooking so much easier. By the time you really have to start the cooking part, you're totally zen and at ease. I like to chop vegetables and herbs and get ready to cook. Sorting out the spices and the needy ingredients, will keep you from a last minute rush to the store. It is hateful once you're cooking, to realize you're out of cream or eggs. Some things can be left out or substituted, but mostly it will just aggravate and disappoint you, for not having read the recipe properly in advance. I'm not used to following a recipe to the T, but I do try to use most of the star ingredients. I mean, you can't make a proper béarnaise sauce without tarragon, can you?

Worst cooks in America is the show I've been watching lately. I really feel bad for those grown ups, that simply don't have a clue of what cooking is about. They either never tried it or they dislike it or I don't know what their excuse is, but life is so much easier if you know how to cook simple, healthy meals in little time. It doesn't take 2 hours in the kitchen to prepare a decent meal, as many people think. Going out for take away is probably stealing more time from you than cooking your own meal. It all comes to organization, planning and having ingredients in your pantry and fridge. I dare you: what are you going to cook today?

A bubbly personality

Sweet sixteen.. You have been longing for this particular birthday for some time now. Being 16, you say, means you get a lot more privileges. We're still trying to find out what those privileges are, but I'm pretty sure you'll let me know.

I wonder what this year will bring you. First of all, you and your friends from school are going to visit Paris. You are so excited about that event!!! You will have a wonderful time in Paris and it will be a week to remember! In August, we're going to have our vacation in Florida. You adore the summer and your legs need some sun to regain their tan. You are so ready to buy little dresses and tops and shorts. To put on huge sunglasses and show off your shaved, long legs.

You're in love again, with a very nice young man. He's a decent kid. Polite, well mannered and well educated. We like him too! And he's even cute, with that head covered in blond curls! Enjoy your time with him and love him back with all your heart.

Maybe we'll let you go out every now and then. You like to dance and hang out with your friends. Being a responsible young lady, we trust you. Times are not easy for teens growing up, with drugs and alcohol available on every street corner. You're not stupid, by no means, but temptations will always be out there and we can only hope you will use your common sense.

Have a very happy birthday, sweetheart! You're adorable!

PS Your cousin is having his 16th birthday tomorrow! The two of you get along real well. So Cousin, I wish you a very happy birthday too! Thanks for looking after Lana. She enjoyed going out with you!

Lana and her cousin

The C-word..

I was shocked when I heard your ringtone at 7:30 PM. This is not your hour to call me and I immediately knew something had happened. You confirmed that thought... Your mom is in the hospital. The doctor called you with bad news.. Indeed.. the C-word. I find it too heard to pronounce the complete word in your presence. Because the news is devastating. This ugly disease has spread its tentacles inside your mother's body. This is so unexpected. Okay, she wasn't feeling well and the grief over the death of your father has left its traces for sure. Your mom is so strong and realistic and a proud woman. She's been through quite a lot in the last decade, but she kept going and didn't complain.

I don't know what to say to you.. It's too much. I would want to comfort you and tell you everything's going to be okay. But it's not.. How could it be okay? You may be losing your mom in the near future. That is not okay at all. It's too soon after losing your dad. I wish it were different, but there's not much we can do, is there?

Let's hope your mom will find peace and pain relief. She knows you love her to pieces. She knows what you have done for her over the years. Hold her.. she'll need you..

Justice

Els Clottemans

Els Clottemans has been convicted of the murder of her best friend, Els Van Dooren. She allegedly murdered her friend, by cutting the straps of her parachute. I say: allegedly, because there is no proof. There are allegations that point in her direction, but there is no proof whatsoever. Did she or did she not commit the murder? We don't know. Nobody knows, but the person who did it.

I'm truly disgusted by the aggression in the voice of some that believe she did it. Did they witness her committing the crime? Or were they influenced by the media circus? Would they share the same opinion if it were their own child? What if they were to be convicted of committing a crime they didn't do? It makes me sick to my stomach that someone is sentenced to a vast number of years in prison, not knowing for sure that person is actually guilty. It's just so medieval. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?

I feel sorry for the family of Els Van Dooren. They have lost a wife, a mother, a relative.
I feel sorry for the family of Els Clottemans. They know their daughter. They are convinced she didn't do it.

Els Van Dooren

I feel sorry for anybody out there, who is so blind sighted to any other option. They have made up their minds. There's no opening for any other reality. They play their own judge. They feel they have the right to decide about someone else's life and future, like the killer decided to end the life of Els Van Dooren. There are other explanations possible. Maybe Els Van Dooren couldn't take it anymore. Maybe she decided to end her own life. Or how about the lover? Who says he's not guilty of the crime?

Did she get a fair trial? No, she didn't. Even the people that believe she's guilty, can't say her trial was fair. The media made the trial for us. Times are changing. The media is everywhere. They create a story and stories sell well, don't forget that. People want to share their opinions. They want to take sides. Either they believe she did it, or they are convinced she didn't do it. The truth may be somewhere in the middle. I won't say she didn't do it. And I refuse to say she did it. I have an opinion of my own. I just believe it's not righteous to sentence someone to serve time in jail, without proof. That's what this blog is about.. And I'm sorry if you don't approve. You are entitled to your opinions. Let me be entitled to mine.

A mother's heart

By heart goes out to both my beautiful and intelligent daughters. As usual, they did real well in school. They get very good grades and they are good students. We never nag about a bad test, because that's life. We can't always get good grades. In the end, they do just fine and we are proud of them!
School's out kids! Let's have some fun! Thank you for being such wonderful children. I feel privileged to be your mother..

For those who can appreciate piano music: A mother's heart, by William Joseph, an upcoming piano talent.

Wouldn't it be good

I made a very special chocolate cake for my mother-in-law. She's a true chocoholic and she adores cake. So yesterday, I had all afternoon to prepare a delicious cake for Mother's Day. It was a sponge cake, with two fillings: chocolate buttercream and hazelnut mousse. I covered the cake in chocolate fudge and poured satiny chocolate glaze on top to finish it off. The flowers were made out of colored Royal Icing. I had a blast making the pie and it tasted wonderful. I was not supposed to have any, since this cake is just so anti-diabetes! Wouldn't it be good, to have a diabetes-free day, every once in a while?

Mother's Day Cake

In loco parentis

You are having a real hard time. So hard, you can't think straight anymore. I know life's not been easy on you and the worst is yet to come. Not being with the person you love the most, is heart wrecking and devastating. I'm not going to say I know what it feels like, because I don't. But no doubt you are desperate and suffering.

There's a possibility that the two of you will not be reunited the way you want it to be. You are not prepared to give in, under no circumstances. You have set your goals and your terms and according to you, there are no other options. I understand, because it's against your belief in motherhood. But can't you make the best of it and choose an option that is as close to your wishes as possible? The clock is ticking, May is getting closer. You don't have much time left and you are scaring away the people around you. You no longer wish for me to come or help you. That's your choice and your absolute right. But if it will help you? I doubt it.. Too bad you can't trust the people that care.. Life isn't fair. Nobody said it was. But we have to make the best of it. Even if that means softening the edges and being less sharp.

You were given a very good solution. A durable, trustworthy solution. If I were you, I would gladly embrace that option with open arms. But I'm not you and you're not me. I haven't gone through your ordeal and I don't have your disease. I'm just an outsider. But I care. You may say I don't, but deep down, you know real well I have supported you the best I could. I wish you all the best..

Strangers and candy

Have you taught your kids whatever they need to know in order not to be abducted by a stranger? Abductors no longer use candy to seduce young children if they want to kidnap them. They talk to your child on the Internet. They try to contact them when they leave the school's playground. They offer them games for their Playstation or promise them to help them fix their computer. Children are so vulnerable, maybe now more than ever. Communication between parents and children have changed over the years. Mothers used to be stay at home moms. They knew about their children's activities. They offered their teens milk and cookies and a talk when they came home out of school. Parents knew what friends their children frequented. Children didn't come home in an empty house, where they could surf on the Internet for as long as nobody came home. Times have changed. Children have changed. So have parents.. Many parents no longer have time for their offspring. The kids are given a key and go home all by themselves. They grab a snack and a drink, they hop on the couch, watch TV or chat with their friends on the Internet. They feel alone. They have nobody to tell them how fantastic they are. That's the point where things become dangerous. Any stranger who gives this child the special attention it needs, gets the chance to bond with this child. What child wouldn't want to hear that it's loved? What child doesn't need grown up attention? What happens if parents can do nothing but nag about the lousy school results of their child? Right. It tells the predator, who is smart enough to pick in and comfort the child. He tells them that the parents are stupid and dumb for not seeing what a smart kid they have. And that's when those children get trapped. They start to really like this predator, not knowing what the consequences of these private talks may be. And then the predator invites them to his house, to come get the video games they were promised. And they'd better not tell their parents, since they are not the most loveable and understanding people out there. Forgot about the school reports??? And the fish is on the hook..

Imagine your child being abducted by some lunatic pervert. Wouldn't you slap your head and give yourself a wake up call? Our children need us. No matter what age they are. They are too vulnerable and they cannot protect themselves from the wolves around. The word PREDATOR is not written on the forehead of these men. They are not easy to recognize. But their actions are. You don't want a stranger to pull over his car and address you. When a child is in danger, the rules change. You are allowed to draw as much attention you need, to scare off a possible abductor. Tell your children you will never be mad at them for throwing a fit, if some stranger makes them feel uncomfortable.

"Garden of the night" is the movie you would want to see, to know how to protect your child..

Trying to make sense in nonsense

You are very wise and absolutely adorable. You keep a blog every now and then and I love to read you. The way you think about life, the manner in which you write your lines, the logic behind your thoughts and the images I see when I read about your daily life, make me smile. You are leading an interesting life, going abroad to catch some sun rays and enjoy the moderate paste of Southern life. You are a wonderful nana to your grandchildren (they are the cutest!!!) and a terrific mother to your grown up children. We have met a few times now and you promised me to take me on a sightseeing tour in your favorite town: Brussels. I'm looking forward to that! I'd better wear my sneakers, to keep up with you. I may be the younger one, but you are the more energetic one of the two. Did I already say how well you are with clothes? You always seem to pick the right outfit and you could be a resident of Monaco. You look more like a princess than our princess Mathilde does. I'm curious about you and I want to know a whole lot more about you. I know you like fish - preferably fresh fish - and you like to swim. I suppose you don't combine both?
You like the sun, you like the French language and the French way of life. You adore your children and grandchildren and you are a terrific host whenever they come visit you down South. But you are as happy after they leave the house and let you relax by the pool, wearing your favorite shades.
You are a very classy lady. A little aristocratic, if I may say so. It suits you well. And I hate you for never having a bad hairday!
You are as true a delight as Côte d'or Milk chocolate. I assume I needn't say any more? Thank you for being you and making me a better me..

Is there something I should know?

The person who has always shown the least interest in me, is reading 10 pages at a time on my blog. This is just too ridiculous... What is there to know, that she doesn't already know? Wasn't she the person that told me to get a life? It's pretty obvious that she has plenty of time to nose around in my life. It is rather pathetic you know. I feel sorry for her, for not having anything else to do, than follow my life and read my blog twice a day. I used to feel anger and disappointment, but times have made me milder, and now I can feel nothing else but pity for this person. It's pathetic.. How did they call it? She didn't know any better?

This stinks!

My sweet Lana, your knees are still hurting big time. Today, I'm going to take you to the hospital for a NMR scan of both knees. We have an appointment with the specialist afterwards. You know what he told you: be careful, take care of your knees after sports by putting ice on them, don't overdo it.. But you're young and playful and you love to dance and ride your bike... I hope your knees will be fine and the doctor will find a way to relieve the pain..

Beware of what you wish for...

She's probably the most controversial mom on Earth. At the very least, she's the most exceptional mom on Earth. We must admit, that we have all heard about her: Octomom aka Nadya Suleman.
Nadya had given birth to 6 children, after being treated for not being able to get pregnant. She tried IVF and every time she got pregnant because of this treatment. On every IVF attempt, 6 embryos were implanted into her womb. She knew that having multiplets was one of the possible consequences of having 6 embryos implanted at the same time. She had given birth to twins before, but nobody could predict octuplets.. not Nadya and not her doctor..

Nadya had 6 children, was unemployed and had no income. Her mother let her live in one of her houses and helped her out with the children. Nadya dreamed of a big family, with a lot of children.. and no husband. She wanted her eldest child to have siblings, many siblings. And that's exactly what she did. After the 6th child, Nadya had some embryos left and she decided she wanted another child, the last in line. So she went back to her doctor - who was aware that Nadya was a single, unemployed mother of 6 - to get pregnant again. He implanted 6 embryos, just like the previous attempts. Only 9 days later, Nadya could feel her tummy grow. And not much later, her gynaecologist confirmed that all 6 embryos were alife. Later on, they noticed a 7th baby in the womb.

Nadya's delivery was carefully planned. No less than 46 doctors, specialists, nurses, care givers were at the scene to help her out. All 7 babies came into this world perfectly sound and safe and the gynaecologist was preparing to get the placenta out of the womb, when he felt a little hand: miraculously, an 8th baby was born...

Nadya has 14 children in total now, lives in a house that is not spacious enough for a family this big, without any financial help. She's working on getting a degree, so later on, she will be able to provide for her beloved family. She never asked for octuplets.. she wanted one more baby, and she got 8 instead. Aborting one or more of the embryos was out of the question, since Nadya believes that every child is a gift of God...

For her sake and for the sake of the children, I hope God will take care of them. He has taken a great responsibility there..

Momnesia

Have you ever forgotten to pick up your children from music class?

Did you forget to cook your children dinner, because you were too busy answering those emails?

Or maybe you have so much help from others, that you are the perfect mom, that has tons of time to spend on her baby..

If you are in the last category, you're lucky but you're also rare. Not many moms have the luxury to have a nanny or a live in au pair. Being a mom is pretty darn hard. It's more than a full time job. It's 24/7! Did anybody ever warn you about that, when you were so busy getting pregnant? What a joke..

Having kids is wonderful and they add so much more to our life, really. I love them to pieces and I would pull out my hair if something happened to one of them. Some days though, I ask myself: how do all these moms keep working full time, when they also have a husband and children to take care off? How do they do it??? How do they cook fresh meals every day, drive their offspring to all different activities, find the time to be a reading mom in school and organize the most wonderful birthday parties ever? I've been working on and off and every time I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I have time to take a breath and enjoy my children. Whenever I'm at work, I'm totally stressed, because I do not want to give up on my own activities, my children's activities, fresh cooked home made meals, all of that combined with a full time job.

I'm looking for a new job and at the same time, it scares me to be a working mom again. It's so hectic to do everything and to have so little time for yourself. I'm very fortunate to have a husband who helps out a lot in the house and with the children, I know that. I've seen oh so many other men... But still, organization of the household is not the piece of cake some women talk about. Either they fool themselves, or they do not want to admit it to others. Or maybe they think all other women are superwomen and they need to be one too! So that's when they end up being depressed and overworked and on their way to the looney world.

So Momnesia is something we have to deal with. It might get better once the children get older.. I guess. Because no matter how old our children will be, we will always be a mother. Maybe by the time they will be old enough to take care of themselves, Momnesia will have turned in to Amnesia. Bless us, moms..

School's out for summer!

This is the moment the children have longed for: the last day of school!!!! With mixed feelings, they look back on the year they spent with their friends. Things will change. The youngest will attend a totally new school, in a new town. The eldest will remain in the same school, but she will change subjects and classes. Meaning she will have new classmates and new teachers.

Mixed feelings, because they will miss school (although I'm sure they will deny that as hard as they can!) on one hand, but on the other hand, they are glad school is out. Two months to relax, to chill with their friends, to have fun, go to the pool, have sleep-overs, hang out, get bored, and in the end, long for the new school year.

Our youngest daughter is already planning for the next school year. She has bought several items to brighten up her boarding room in school. She's so looking forward to meeting new friends, new teachers and the system of high school. I can totally understand her, going back in time. There I was, a 6th grader, getting ready to go to high school in a different town. For the first time in my life, taking the train to go to school, having some private time with friends in school, new classes, new everything. I always enjoyed school time and I never looked forward to summer vacation. I got bored instantly, without my friends and school and the things I liked to do.

I'm looking forward to spending two months with the girls. We will have fun, definitely. Their daddy will have 5 weeks off as well. Sounds like a plan to me!

Your voice will not be the only voice in your child's ear

Whenever you decide to welcome a child into your home, your life changes. A tiny creature will grow up in the environment you provide for it. It will totally depend on the people that take care of it. But remember: your voice will not be the only voice in your child's ear. There are so many people that will come in contact with your child and all of them will make some sort of impression. Try to make sure that your own voice will be loving, caring and open minded. Talk to your child, tell your child that it is loved and welcome. Don't deprive your child from having contact with other people, just because you fear it will no longer see you as the most important person in the world. By no means can you force someone to love you. If you want your child to love you, give it the opportunity to be itself. Your child will love you back, trust me.

Once your child starts to hear other voices, it can start building its own personality. Different people have different opinions. Children need to hear different voices, to broaden their horizon. Otherwise, they will live in a very small world, consisting of only one voice, the voice of its mother. That mother can be very loving and wise, but children are entitled to more loving and caring people in their life. Contact with other people teaches the child good life lessons. They get to know different characteristics, they learn to see differences in people. It's good for their emotional and intellectual growth.

Don't deprive your child from hearing other voices. Don't be selfish. Children are not property, they are a gift.. You don't own them. You get the chance to raise a child and to give it all the chances it deserves. Give it a good and happy life, full of opportunities and chances to grow.

It's not my time

Once again, I had this horrible dream. I have had this nightmare for many years now, but it had been a while since I last faced it.

I have a terrible car accident, in a nearby town, where I come on a weekly basis. I can see myself, flat on my back, on the street. My children are beside me. They are still todlers. They sit beside me and they hold my hand. I can hear the otherwhise annoying sound of the ambulance, but this time I love the sound. I can't move. I can't speak. The only thing I can do is think and roll my eyes. Nobody is looking at my face. There are many people around me, telling each other how bad it looks and how young my children are.

The ambulance arrives at the scene. A woman and a man rush out, in their white uniforms. The woman is holding a white sheet. It's my mother. She has this horrible grin on her face. She tells the public it's too late. "Dead..' she says. I want to scream, but my vocal chords can't produce any sound. She grabs my children by the hand and walks away. The male nurse covers my body with the white sheet. I wet my pants.. The last thing I hear, is my mother telling my children that they will be better off now.

Thank goodness it is just a dream. A nightmare alright. My time hasn't come yet. My daughters are teens, not toddlers. I'm not going to die. Not yet. And there's no way my mother is going to take my children away from me. Because I'm a good mother. The best mother my children could wish for. At least, that's what they tell me. And I tend to believe them..