Like tearing off a band aid very slowly

Growing up is about getting chances in life. It's a continuous system of learning and experiencing. Turning 16 makes you long for that 18th birthday. In the mean time, you hang out in school, have good times with friends and there are no worries. The other sex looks more appealing than ever and you start dating. The feeling of being in love is just magical. We all wanted that first real love to be everlasting. Longing to be with your crush becomes priority number one. You write each other little scribbles and his text messages make your cheeks blush. It is exciting to have a boyfriend to love. It feels great to love back..

You loved having your buddy in highschool. Do you remember how the two of you met on the bus? I sure remember the day you asked me if you could spend some time with him. You were in love. I could tell from the look in your eyes. We were happy to invite him over to our house and welcome him into our family not too long after the first encounter. He looked very lovable: curly blond hair, a bright smile that showed off perfect teeth. He played in a band. Blues is what made his heart tick. He was crazy about you. Having dinner together, we learned more about what kept him busy and you sure kept him busy. It warmed our hearts to see the two of you together. I still play his first CD in my car, singing along out loud. He could come over as often as he wanted and you liked spending time at his place too.

Our whippets were not used to having other men in our household and they barked at him the first couple of times he came over. He wasn't crazy about pets since they didn't have any in his household. But he learned to appreciate them and his siblings were thrilled once they got their own puppy. 

We knew difficult times were going to come up once he would leave for University. Things would no longer be the same and the obvious daily meet ups would no longer be there. You would have to figure out different ways to keep seeing each other. That ain't easy, I can tell you. Being a student in college or uni is different from being a highschool kid. He had his own student's room in Ghent and you could visit him there. His rhythm of life was a bit different from yours: he's a true night owl, playing games all night with people all over the world. I liked having him around the dining table, listening to his stories and getting involved in his discussions over life. He got to meet your grandparents, aunts and uncles and he survived! 

You spent a wonderful time with your friend Axelle in Italy. He hitchhiked to Portugal with his friends and that sounded so like him, the adventurous guy. I'm sure he had a ball too.

From now on, you have your own student's room. Not in Ghent, like you planned, but in Bruges. A train ride Bruges-Ghent is not too far off and the picture of the two of you got a special place on your new desk.

Both of you will have good memories of the 2.5 years you spent together. You helped each other grow in life and you learned to love. It was good to have someone around who knew all about you. Things will be a bit different now. You will meet new people and you will have fine conversations with other friends. He will continue to play blues on his mouth organ and he will continue his discussions about life with teachers and friends. We will miss him. You will miss him. He will miss you too... 

In a perfect world..

Photo Eva Joos

.. shoes would never hurt, clothes would always fit like a glove and hair would shine like in TV commercials. No need to complain about your eyelashes since yours are the thickest and longest since Maybelline started selling their products. Beauty specialists would sigh by the sight of your perfectly shaped eye brows and natural make up that gives you the glow you deserve. Your teeth would be sparkling white and your nails long and manicured like those of a movie star. You would have a long neck, perfectly straight shoulders, a dazzling cleavage and slim arms. Your waist would resemble the waist of Cher and your hips would be wider to represent that hour glass shape we all envy, ending in a firm Jennifer Lopez bum. Who said you couldn't have legs like Cindy Crawford and well shaped feet to fit those towering Louboutins?

There is no need to aim any higher. You're perfect, just the way you are. You look like a princess and you have the ability to conquer anyone's heart... That young man who will pick you up in a couple of hours time, is the luckiest man ever, for he can call you his girlfriend. 

Cutie pahtooties

It's wonderful to see the two of you together. It's been 5 months now and you are very happy. He's treating you well and he's considerate, polite and caring. Last night, we left the two of you by yourselves, to enjoy a private dinner. Earlier that day, you started making Greek yogurt panna cotta topped with blueberries. As a starter, you wanted to make a threesome of yellow and red tomatoes, garnished with mozzarella and fresh basil leaves. Seems like you really wanted to pamper your date.. He had no idea what you were going to cook for him, so we hoped he liked fresh linguine with prawns in a light apple curry sauce. It is one of your favorite dishes and you are a good cook. I knew you were going to set the table with linen and nice plates, candle light and your most beautiful smile. He's a lucky young man! Enjoy each other, enjoy the friendship and the love. Being young and being in love is a feeling to hold on to..

I think you are remarkable

You have been working really hard this time, studying your school books 2 weeks in advance. I think Ilaria won't mind, that you used her room to prepare yourself for the finals. It was not a bad idea to have an extra study room, so your bedroom was nothing else but a place to relax and sleep. We're proud of you, cutie. You did real well in school and now you can look forward to some time off. Only one week, before you will start your first student's job, but it will be a week to chill, watch movies, read books, date your boyfriend, hang out with your other friends. You deserve it. We're proud of you!

He is the cheese to my macaroni

The broad smile on her face, that went from ear to ear, said it all. "It's been three months today", she informed me. I saw her eyes twinkle like stars. She's madly in love.. It really warms my heart to witness that pure love. She said he had a surprise for her. No school on May 1st, so the ideal day to go out and have fun in the sun. He was going to pick her up on his Dax. Yes, that same vehicle our little girl is dying to buy. He has had one for over 2 years now and he's a good driver. I thought 20 km was a bit too far to come pick her up. But the idea was real romantic and sweet. He definitely wanted to see her..  

We decided I was going to drive our kiddo to a different meeting point. Grandma's house sounded like a good deal, since it's on the way to BF's (boyfriend) house. He had not forgotten to bring an extra helmet, size S. How considerate! I saw her hop on his Dax and put her feet right where they belonged. I could tell she had been on that Dax before. She blew me a kiss, just like she did when she was a toddler. Holding her arms around his waist, they left for a surprise picknick in the woods. I was truly moved by this gesture. What a nice young man.. He's a lucky man too, for he has picked an amazing girl as his girlfriend..

Brave people

Some people are so brave they make me humble. I'm so proud of my sister-in-law. This is her story..

"You have a pseudo malignant tumor in your pancreas" 

That sentence will be printed in my brain forever.

When you hear this diagnosis, you get hot and cold at the same time. Thousands of questions swarm through your mind. I promised myself one thing though: I will keep on thinking positively and no matter what scary things will cross my path, I will survive this disease! These lines became my daily mantra.

The agreement at first, was to remove a small part of my pancreas. Three days after the operation, they wheeled me back into the OR. That's when they removed my complete pancreas. The good news was: there were no metastases. The first thing I asked the professor was: Is it possible to remain alive without a pancreas? "It is", he replied. The magical word!

I had a rough time in hospital. It were 14 days full of pain, sorrow, anxiety and loneliness. It may sound cliche, but that hard time made me reflect as well. I now know there's more beyond our physical body. That insight gave me the comfort that I'm no longer afraid of death. I have lost my fears...

The doctors told me this disease is rare and unique at the age I got diagnosed. It was very exceptional that I had felt the pain. Under other conditions, it would have been lethal. This must have been my destiny. My soul had other plans for me on this planet. Now that I have lost my pancreas, I'm depending on insulin and I must make sure my blood glucose is kept within range. An insulin pump helps me provide that insulin throughout the entire day. But hey! I'm still alive! I was given a second chance. I've been lucky.

Things have changed rapidly from then on. I got out of a relationship that didn't make me happy. My employer fired me after 13 years of good service. I started a training in health, healthy food and lifestyle. I met my boyfriend who has been wonderful to me. He is working in healthcare and he has accepted my condition completely. When I saw an advertisement in the region my boyfriend lived in, I applied for the job instantly. The company I started working for, produces vegetarian and  organic food. That's entirely consistent with my vision on life. I have been working in this company for 6 months now and it feels great. All pieces of the jigsaw have come together. I live and work in an environment that feels like a second glove ; my boyfriend has become my soulmate.

Would I have had the same future if I hadn't become sick? I don't think so. I don't believe in coincidences. Once you no longer have the burden of the anxieties, things will cross your path. Let your heart lead you. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger..

What's in a name..

My first boyfriend had this amazing car (yes, the sports car on the right). It was a flashy green Triumph Spitfire. It was great fun to ride it as a passenger. I remember we drove it to my sister's wedding. The weather was beautiful and we didn't bring the hard top. I thought we were pretty amazing in that convertible!

Imagine my excitement when I finally got my driver's licence. I wanted a Triumph too! And when my father told me, his body shop had a Triumph for sale, I wanted it. He told me it was in good shape and it had a golden color. I handed him my savings (75.000 bfr. at the time - and yes, that was a lot of money for me) and he went to pick up my car. I couldn't wait for him to come home so I could see the car and go for a ride. I heard him pull up in front of the house and I rushed outside. O.M.G.... that was no Triumph!!! I was so upset! Who said I wanted that shitty car??? It was not golden: it was the color of runny diarrhea! It was not a convertible! It was not even a sports car! Oh yes, it was a Triumph alright.. Really. It was quite similar to the Honda Accord. Absolutely not the car I had in mind. But I had paid for it and I couldn't take it back. What a bummer.. That car has cost me so much money. It needed a bottle of oil a week. A week! I was a student at the time, working hard on the weekend in a restaurant, to earn some money. It took a lot of gas too. A full tank would last for 200 kms before the red light appeared, warning me to get gas. Absolutely not the best buy ever.

A little while ago, that first boyfriend got married. When I saw him in that wonderful Spitfire, it warmed my heart. It was not flashy green this time. It was deep blue and it was definitely not a Triumph Acclaim..

Nothing compares to you

This morning I heard this song on the radio and I realized I remembered every line of it. I cranked up the volume and sang along. It brought me back in time, back to my years in college and an afterschool party with a boyfriend I met that particular night..

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

Since you took your love away

I go out every night and sleep all day

Since you took your love away

Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want

I can see whomever I choose

I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant

But nothing..

I said nothing can take away these blues

'Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you..

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a bird without a song

Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling

Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?

I could put my arms around every boy I see

They'd only remind me of you

I went to the doctor and guess what he told me?

Guess what he told me?

He said: Girl you'd better try to have fun

No matter what you do

But he's a fool

'Cause nothing compares to you..

All the flowers that you planted, mama

in the back yard

All died when you went away

I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard

But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares to you...