He loves me, he loves me not

Being a teen is never easy. Being a teen in love is drama. Still discovering yourself, you need to think about how you look, how others feel about you, if what you say is interesting and what you do sufficient. You feel insecure and not loved and some days, you just don't know what to do with yourself. Include hormonal mood swings and we all know teen moments can be really hard. One day you feel like a queen, to fall apart just a couple of hours later.

I remember being in love and I mean, like completely in love with this guy. Not knowing how he truly felt about me. He was a couple of years older than me and I was not his first love. Feeling pretty insecure about myself, I would have done anything to please him. Just thinking about losing him, would make tears well up into my eyes. I would scribble down little notes for him and try to see him as often as I could (we attended the same class, although he was older than me) and most of the time he would flirt back and be nice and caring. At other times, he would like ignore me and hang out with his friends and give me the feeling I wasn't important to him. That would literally shatter my heart. At times it hurt so bad, I thought I would never get over it. But then he would glue the pieces and make me feel better.

I'm older now. I no longer depend that much on what others think of me. Being a teen can make you feel so insecure about yourself. You only want to love and be loved. It feels great if the other significant in your life tells you how pretty you are or how you make him laugh. Being together and make out is the most wonderful feeling and all you can think of is: how not to end it. So much energy goes into your relationship that there is almost none left for you. You forget to pamper yourself and do things you like and hang out with your friends without thinking or talking about your crush. Nowadays, I can look back at those teen years with a smile. It were hectic days at times. Love can be very complicated. If I had known back then, that it is as important to love yourself as to love someone else, it would have made things easier. You don't have to depend on others to feel good about who you are. Embrace who you are, love yourself for who you are. It makes loving others easier and less complicated. 

Fear of terrorism?

Last night, while she was packing her bags to go to Paris for 3 days, Eva expressed her fear of terrorism. Since the bombing at the Marathon of Boston, schoolteachers have been discussing the subject with their students. Their field trip to Paris has been given a dark side because of that horrible attack. Kids shouldn't be worrying about bombings on field trips. They shouldn't fear explosions while visiting the Eiffel tower. Their program is filled with exciting sightseeing and visits to famous monuments and buildings. They are kids, full of life and adrenaline, because of the upcoming trip. I hope they will have a safe trip and the time to soak up new impressions. Let the fear not take over, please. They know they have to stay together as much as possible and they shouldn't take the subway on their own. Not that being in a group will keep them safe without any doubt, but they shouldn't be out there by themselves either. These youngsters are 16 and full of adventure. Paris is shaken up a bit right now and people have been protesting against gay marriage yesterday. I hope the turmoil will have gone by the time the buses have arrived at their final destination. Those kids deserve a wonderful outing and we want to hear nothing but great stories when they come back home on Friday. 

I wanna make you happy

You are my little girl. Of course I want to make you happy. No doubt about that. I want to give you all my love and I wish you all the best in life. I like to observe you. There are moments where you are really focused on what you are doing and there are times that you are so distracted. I often wonder what's going through your mind. You do tell us things, but like all teens, you like to keep things for yourself and that's okay too. Just want to let you know that you can talk to us about anything. Your family is here for you.

Happiness is out there for you to grab it. It is our job as parents to educate and raise you and help you grow up. It is your job to find opportunities to grow in life and build up a personality of your own. I can tell you are working on your self esteem every day and you're doing well. You have changed so much over the years and you have become a young lady with a mind of her own. Happiness is not about money or buying things. It is good to think about what brings you happiness. Happiness doesn't cost money. It's about the little things in life. It's about love and friendship and good times. It's about that wink a boy gives you when nobody else can see it. It's about the hug our whippet Inthe gives you when you come home from school. It's about the smell of that cake you made for your friends, the moment you open the oven door. How about a wonderful text message when you're not feeling your best? The little arms reaching for you when you babysit 4 small children? That is happiness, sweetie. Those are moments to cherish and remember... Those are moments that are there, on a daily basis. If only you open your heart to let them in.

Déjà vu

A pleasant family dinner around the kitchen table. We are all babbling and having nice conversations.
She is poking her food with only her fork, one of her feet on the chair and her knee sticking out above the table. Daddy reprimands her to put her foot down and keep her knees below the table. She rolls her eyes, mouth wide open and gives him that "gimme a break" look. She keeps talking and doesn't give in. He asks her again and she's getting annoyed now, saying: that's the most comfortable way for me to sit, okay? And he replies: would you sit like this in a restaurant?? NOT! And she talks back: are we sitting in a restaurant at this moment?? NO!

Was it my youngest daughter or was it me? She says it's her genes. There's nothing she can do about it... This sounds so familiar.. I have a déjà vu.. and it's not the first time.

Curfews

I had a curfew as a teen. It was midnight sharp. I had a curfew when I was in the US, working as an au pair. The curfew said, I had to write down on a piece of paper where I was and what time I expected to be home. I could leave the note in my room on my desk, just in case my host family needed to contact me for some reason.

I'm married now. I no longer have to stick to a curfew. I know me.. when I'm having a good time, I don't pay attention to the clock. I forget to contact my family to let them know when I'll be home. I'm getting better though. I try to stick more to the hour I had in mind.

Our girls have curfews when they go out. They have different curfews, since they are not the same age. We have a third daughter for 3 months. She loves to go out. Setting a curfew for her is not easy. In Italy, she's used to going out every night. Over here, things are a little different. There's not much to do around here. You need to drive a while to find a good place to dance and have a good time. Kids don't go out at 8:00 PM. They don't leave the house before 11:00 PM or midnight. Then it's hard to tell them to be home by 1:00 AM, isn't it? We need to find a way for our exchange student to be able to go out and have a good time, without leaving us worrying about her safety. We don't want her to get into a car of someone who's been drinking. After all, she's like a daughter to us and we are responsible for her. Don't want to imagine what could happen to her while being out... Just be careful, okay?

Slave to love

It was really strange and I never found out who was the mysterious deliverer of the envelope..

My favorite place to go for a drink on a Friday night (my allowance wasn't large enough to go out on a Saturday as well), was a cosy pub just around the corner from where I lived. The manager was a great entertainer and he let me help in the pub in exchange for free drinks. It was a good deal for him, since I didn't drink much but I liked to hang out there and serve the other customers. That one particular night, there was a whole bunch of us, having a good time over a couple of drinks. The manager loved to sing a song every now and then. He was good at playing his guitar too (loved his pajamas blues), but that night, he sang Slave to love, by Bryan Ferry. We would all sing along and it was a great night.. I clapped my hands and thought it was a wonderful performance of a great song.

A few weeks later, there was an envelope in my mailbox. No electronic mailbox back then, just regular mail. It just read my name, no more. No stamp, no sender. I opened the envelope and was very surprised to see two tickets to the Bryan Ferry concert in Antwerp.. I was really amazed, since I had not expected this gift from anyone. It wasn't my birthday either and I had no special friend at the time. So strange, so unexpected. I had no idea..

I asked around in the pub. They all laughed and made fun of the mysterious gift. But no one stood up and claimed the deed. I didn't go the concert. It made me feel awkward. Until the day of today, I still don't know who bought those expensive tickets. And why two? I guess I'll never know..

Purple Rain

You know the song, but did you know there was a movie too? I guess I was around 13 - 14 at the time and I didn't have much opportunity to go out with friends, but this time, I got to go. I remember the darkness in the movie theatre. My friend and I were pretty nervous, because two boys decided they wanted to sit next to us. They were French and we didn't understand them, so we signed it was okay. Our hearts were pounding inside our bodies and we feared they might ridicule our nervous behavioral issues. We giggled like only 14 year old girls can do.. I can't remember what the boys looked like and we probably never knew their names. We didn't tell ours either. But how exciting it was to have them sit next to us.. His hand on my knee made me freeze and I was too shocked to wipe it off my pants. So it stayed there all the way through the duration of the film. The hand didn't do anything. It just sat there, frozen to my leg. I couldn't concentrate on the movie. I do remember the music though and every time I hear the song, it brings me back to that Wednesday afternoon. My friend and I had something to think about and we were all excited about our grown-up adventure at the movie theatre..

Falling in love

What a wonderful feeling, the butterflies chasing one another in your stomach. Not paying any attention to the teacher, you wonder about your crush and what you're going to tell him. A thousand different scenarios cross your mind. He doesn't know about you nor your love for him and you prefer to keep that a secret for just a little longer. Just because it's such a wonderful feeling you don't want to spoil the moment..

You scribble small notes, that you fold and fold until there's almost nothing left but a hard piece of paper. Holding it between thumb and index, trying to decide whether you would try to make the piece of paper reach its destination. You hesitate.. what if he doesn't fancy you? What if the love is not mutual? Your eyes make holes in the back of his head, while you try to imagine the different colors in his eyes. His right eye is slightly more brownish with some extra green speckles. The little hairs in the back of his neck are just asking to be touched. There's no way you would try to do that. He's sitting besides your best friend. She's smiling at him. The corners of your mouth point downwards and you wish she weren't blond and her legs wouldn't be gorgeous stilts. He touches her hand while he reaches over and hands her his pen and jealousy has never been stronger. You wish you were her. You wish you were the lucky one..

The little piece of paper finds another destination, deep down into your pocket. Next to the other pieces of paper you wrote earlier that week. No way you will ever let him know how you feel. By no means will you approach him and make a fool out of yourself!

"Would you like to share my snickers?" he whispers in your ear. You didn't hear him come over. Startled by the moment, you are afraid to look up at him. He hands you over half of his snickers and you're too afraid to eat them. You cherish the piece of candy bar, because you know it touched his mouth.. He walks back to his seat, wrenching his legs as his knees touch the desk. He looks over his shoulder while he winks at you. Rolling his eyes, he listens to his neighbor - your best friend - but he thinks about you.. The brownish-green speckled eyes are sparkling and there's a hint of love in them.

The bell rings. You shuffle over to his desk, drop the folded pieces of paper in his lap, straighten your shoulders and walk out the class room. Victory.. and it feels great!