Hinglish

I must have told you before, that I'm in to Indian movies, music and food. Today I had my first Indian cooking class. Sunit was our teacher. She and her family have moved to Belgium 4 years ago. She's a homeopath in her country. Over here, more and more people invite her to give cooking lessons. And I must say: she's really good! What I like best about her, is her Indian humour! She's so funny!! Whenever I see an Indian movie, better known as Bollywood movies, I enjoy their Hinglish, a mixture of Hindi - the Indian language - and English. Indians love to show off that they went to school so they speak English whenever they can. Half of their conversation might be in Hindi and the other half in English. And that's what we call "Hinglish". I love the intonation of the language and the way they pronounce their letters.

Indian cooking class was very interesting. We have made chickpea garam masala, chapati (Indian bread), Bombay potatoes, pickled carrots with ginger and mosterd seeds (my gosh, that was hot!) and we had store bought papadums on the side. But first of all, Sunit welcomed us with Indian chai - black tea. Chai is made out of 2/3 of water and 1/3 of milk, cooked with cardemom seeds, a lot of sugar and of course black tea. You make it on the stove, instead of using a tea bag and the kettle. It was interesting.

I'm glad my sister-in-law and I get to do this together. I can't wait to go to the Indian store and get the ingredients to do some Indian cuisine at home!

Manscara and guyliner

Men are getting used to their feminine side. They realize now, that not only their car needs to be maintained, but their skin needs protection too and a body milk after taking a shower is no longer womanish. It's nice to hear that men take care of themselves. Once they realize there is other soap but Sunlight and after shave is not only for Sundays, they look better and more appealing. I hear nowadays it's fashionable for men to apply mascara - did you hear they call it "manscara" - and guyliner - don't you just love that expression??? I like the idea of giving it a masculine name. There are many male beauty products available, so why not use them? Nevertheless, I can't imagine hubby wearing any manscara or guyliner.. go figure! But I do like him to take care of his skin and use a moisturizer, after shave and a matching deodorant. And that's exactly what he does!

Gimme some suga!

I can't wait to see my little girl! I have missed her so much this week. She's doing great in boarding school and we call her every night around 9 o'clock. That is our private time and we always make sure we are available for her around that time. She tells about school and boarding school, and we tell her about home and what we have been up to.

Tonight, both girls are going to the sea side, to spend some time with their grandparents. Every year, they rent an apartment for two weeks and of course, the grandchildren can come for a sleep-over. They miss their grandparents. They are used to seeing them at least once a week. Grandma promised them a surprise for Saturday! But we have a surprise for grandma too! Rebba! They don't know about her yet, we haven't told them. So Rebba will join us to the beach and we will surprise them!

Sweet little daughter of mine, I want to cuddle you and hug you and give you sloppy kisses, just the way you like them. Although you say you're getting too old for sloppy kisses, I know you still enjoy that one-on-one attention..

Growing pains

Our eldest daughter has an appointment with an orthopaedist. Her knees hurt big time. She's been growing too fast and intense jumping up and down on the trampoline will not have done any good. She's so active! She loves to dance, jump on the trampoline, run, take the dog for a walk, ride her bike. She already has orthotics in her shoes, but apparently that doesn't cut it. So we made an appointment with the specialist and we'll see what he can do about it. She's not prepared to give up on sports and I hope for her she can continue to do the sports she likes!

She's been dancing ballet since she was two and a half. This year she is taking extra classes in New Style Ragga and that is very intense! But she just loves it! And I must say: she's really good at it. A little shy and way too modest. She lacks the confidence, but she shouldn't. Her teacher says she has great ballet legs!

I hope her pain is just growing pains and nothing worse, so she won't need surgery.

Hitler in day care?

Why is Hitler so popular again? In Germany, there's a video commercial on safe sex, showing a Hitler look-a-like having unprotected sex. In Belgium, reporters filmed the interior of a private day care center: we could all see pictures of Hitler on the wall of the family room. Hello? Who would want to send his offspring to be raised with people that are Hitler fanatics? Have they forgotten who he was?? It makes me sick to my stomach and I believe it's a huge insult to mankind. Social Services looked into it (what a surprise - they had similar complaints about this day care center a couple of years ago) and they finally withdrew their day care permit. But hey, the day care center will not be closed down. They can continue their work without the permit. It will be more expensive for the parents though, since they cannot deduct the day care cost from their taxes, if the day care center doesn't have a permit. Both day care center and the parents of the children should be ashamed of themselves..

I have a dream..

that one day, I will have a size 10. Wouldn't that be awesome? Just like that, without dieting, without paying attention to what you eat or drink? How nice would it be, to shop in nice boutiques rather than pick out whatever is in your size? There are so many clothes I would love to wear but are not available in my size right now. It is pretty frustrating if you enter a boutique and there's nothing for you, because you have a size up. It is sad.. Do designers honestly think that people with a bigger size don't like pretty clothes? I know I've had it with comfortable clothes.. I hate the prints that tell everyone you have a bigger size. It's like bigger size clothes have those special prints, the paisley prints. Ugh. Many of those clothes are real baggy too and they make you look even bigger than you truly are.

It's not about having a size 4 or even an 8. I would be more than happy with a size 10 or even 12. It's a great feeling to wear a pair of jeans that fits like a glove. I remember how easy it is to tie your shoe laces when you have a size 10.

I know this dream of mine will be fulfilled. One day soon.

The Talk

If you have kids, The Talk is inevitable at some point. Whether your children are 3, 10 or 14, one day you will have to sit down with them and talk about sex. I know you are not looking forward to that. Who would be? But it's necessary. Children need to know sex is normal and sex is part of life. You would want your children to be open to you and to come tell you when they are ready to have sex. You wouldn't want them to feel awkward about talking to you or let you know what keeps their minds busy. Because they do talk about it and they sure think about it! Don't underestimate them!

So yes, I have talked to my girls about sex. We had The Talk when either one of them turned 12. It was a mom-to-daughter talk and it was a private talk in the bedroom. We closed the curtains, we lit some candles and we snuggled up in bed and curled up against each other. I had bought a book on the subject, a book they could understand. So we went through the book together and we talked. I asked questions and so did they. I asked my eldest daughter if she had any questions for me. She asked me about masturbation. Shoot... I wish she had asked me something else first. But hey, no shame, remember? So I gave her a mirror and I let her explore herself. No more, no less. That was sufficient for her. She felt very grown up afterwards, that she had had The Talk!
Her sister had to wait two more years before it was her turn. And she did as well as her sibling. They both have a book they can understand and look into. They keep it in their room, and once in a while, I find it next to their beds. I believe they are growing up..
We also talked about condoms and AIDS and indecent proposals, about being gay or straight, about getting pregnant. I asked them to preserve themselves for that one special person they will meet one day.
And I let them know they could come and talk to me whenever they felt the need. I don't think they should marry the man they first sleep with. There are many candidates out there and they have to find their way and they should explore the world. That doesn't mean they have to hop into the bed of every Jack or Joe. They need to respect their bodies after all.
While we were talking, I asked them to come tell me if they were in love. Our eldest is 14. She's in love. And she's told me about it. I'm proud of her. She's a good girl. She knows what she wants and she sure knows what she doesn't want.

I wonder how hubby would've done if we would have had a son instead of girls. I'm sure he would have felt pretty awkward as well.

Like cats and dogs

Cats and dogs can perfectly live in harmony. That is, if they accept one another. We have a rather special cat. He has a mind of its own and he's very dominant. No other cat can enter his kingdom and he likes to fight with the neighborhood cats. So we were a little anxious to see how he would respond to our dog. He had never met a dog before and he was a little hesitant when he first saw Rebba. As soon as he found out that crazy 4 legged thing could run, he attacked him. Rebba had no idea what had happened and she licked her wounds. Arthur is very protective of his territory and he was not happy at all. He meowed like I had never heard him before.

It is the 7th day since we got Rebba. Arthur and Rebba are getting used to each other. She ignores him and she no longer looks for him to play: she already knows he's not in to dog games. On the other hand, Arthur is getting more and more curious to find out about Rebba. He's very brave and bold, especially if Rebba is locked up in her bench. He might even tempt her then. If he could, I know he would stick out his tongue.

It reminds me of Garfield and Odie. Great fun!

Shakalaka Baby

Shakalaka Baby is a song from the Indian musical Bombay Dreams. We saw it with our friends in London, a couple of years ago. Ever since, we have played the album over and over again. I just love the music and the Indian touch to it.

India is a pretty fascinating country. The colors in the clothes, the special spices in the food, the impressive music.. You feel like dancing when you see the Indian dance moves!
I'm very happy that my sister-in-law invited me to join her to Indian cooking classes. We'll take 3 classes of 4 hours each, to learn how to cook the most famous and delicious Indian dishes. I'm really looking forward to that! I love lentils, chapati, Bombay potatoes, curry, garam masala,.. Let's go for it!

What's lurking in your Ipod?

If you like piano music, you should buy "Beyond", the new cd by William Joseph, a wonderful young musician. I just love his Asturias..

Little William Joseph had a great feeling for music. His parents couldn't afford to pay music lessons for him. Little William knew he was going to be a great musician and he joined the Boys and Girls Club. They provided music lessons for him and look where he is now! William wrote his own music from the day he turned 5!

William never forgot the Boys and Girls Club. He's a father of three now and he's helping out young children to live their dream. Sorry girls, he's taken!!

MacDreamy

My friend is totally into MacDreamy aka Patrick Dempsey. And I must say: he's cute! We can't deny the gorgeous eyes, the glam smile, the body, the killer look... hmhm.. So now I then, I like to watch the story of Meredith and MacDreamy on Grey's Anatomy.

But today, I watched Maid of Honour. Although I'm not the most romantic soul in the world, I fell for this movie and I loved every bit of it. It made me laugh, it made me wipe away a tear and it warmed my heart. What a wonderful story...

Tom (Patrick Dempsey) has a very good life: he's sexy, he's successful and he's a womaniser. When his best friend Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) leaves for Scotland on a business trip, Tom realises that Hannah is the love of his life. Too late.. because Hannah has fallen in love with a Scottish duke, Colin. Hannah asks Tom to be her Maid of Honour and he agrees reluctantly. Is he going to be able to sabotage the wedding and tell Hannah how much he loves her??

You ain't seen nothing yet

What's wrong with the world? Every day I hear about people committing suicide. Is this Earth so bad to live on? What problems can one have that are so awful they cannot live their lives?

A 26 yo man from Chili hung himself in front of his webcam, while his ex-girlfriend watched him commit suicide.. His ex tried to warn some friends, but all help came too late. Simon Venegas was announced dead.. He told her to watch him and stated he loved her and she should take care of herself.

Do you think this is our future? I'm afraid more and more youngsters no longer know how to deal with their problems. They spend too much time gaming and surfing on the Internet. They forget to have fun and hang out with friends. They forget to take care of themselves and they have virtual friends instead of real time friends. It is sad.. There are so many fun things in life. Too bad they can't find them.

I hear about couples splitting up and one of them committing suicide afterwards. On the first day of school, a man hung himself in the garage. He was a father of three and the youngest was only 15. His wife is dying. She has cancer.. What will happen to these children..?? His son found the dead body. What do you think this will do to the boy? He's traumatised for life. September 1 will never be the same for these children.

Many people get divorced. Life goes on. It's sad that people get divorced, but it's no reason to end your life. Try to be active, get a hobby, make sure you always keep your own friends. Make sure you have a life of your own, even in your marriage. I remember one of my teachers saying, that once you get married, you and your husband become one. I never trusted him. You shouldn't become one person, you are two individuals that happen to love one another. But you should not become the other person and the other shouldn't give up on his life to become you. Of course it's great to do things together and to share friends, but what's wrong with having your own friends and hobbies?

Clean house

Everybody was out of the house. They went to spend the day in an amusement park. I stayed home with Rebba. It is her first week in our home and I did not want to leave her alone for a whole day yet. So I got to clean the house today! I enjoy cleaning when I'm sure I'll be alone for a whole day. Nobody to cook meals for, no errands to run. Just me and Arabic music, to cheer up the cleaning part. I definitely need music while I'm cleaning the house. And Arabic music cuts the deal!

I love the smell of a fresh cleaned house, leaving it all spic and span. I feel like Niecy Nash today, because I got to clean up quite some clutter too!

Too late for regrets

1991 - The Texan house was burning down. Todd Willingham, a young father of 3, stood outside, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. He was screaming in despair: My babies are burning up!!! All three children, Karmon and Kameron - 1 yo twin girls and Amber - 2 at the time, were trapped inside the burning house. A neighbor called 911 as fast as she could. Todd was devastated and tried to rush back inside, but the flames were too hot and the smoke was too thick. The firemen were at the scene real fast, but the fire was too fierce. Amber was the first child to be brought outside by a fireman. She didn't survive. Both the firemen and the police had to restrain Todd from racing back in to help find his other children. At a certain point, they even had to hold him down and handcuff him. Kameron and Karmon were severely burned and they too, died from smoke inhalation.

Todd's wife had left early to go pay electric and water bills, and then headed to the Salvation Army, to get some christmas presents for the children.

The family of 5 was young and they virtually had no money. Stacy worked in a bar and Todd was an unemployed stay-at-home father of three. The couple didn't get along real well. Todd liked his beers and played darts. He left the house numerous times, leaving Stacy and the children behind. They didn't have a stove. They cooked their meals in a microwave that often "popped" while preparing food in it, Todd would later explain. They also owned a countertop deep-fat fryer and a two-burner hot plate.

The community took up a collection to help pay for funeral arrangements.

Fire investigators tried to determine the cause of the blaze. The fire tells the story, the investigators are the interpreters. Neighbors told the police they were not convinced Todd tried hard enough to rescue his children. They saw him move his car away from the house, while his children were still inside. Todd said he managed to reach the babies room, but he couldn't find the twins, due to the thick smoke and the burning heat. He rushed to Amber's room, but he couldn't find her either. His own hair was set on fire and he rushed out, crying for help.

The investigators couldn't find any proof of a spontaneous fire. They concluded that the house was set on fire intentionally and Todd Willingham was convicted of arson murder and sentenced to death row. Journalists spread the news that Willingham was so fond of darts and drinking beer and felt his children were in his way to do what he liked to do most.

He was executed in 2004. He kept claiming he was innocent until the day he got his lethal injection. There was no reason why he would have set the house on fire, sentencing his precious little girls to die a most painful death.

2009 - A new investigative report shows that Todd Willingham was innocent. There can no longer be any doubt that an innocent person has been executed. The question now turns to how we can stop it from happening again..

This article really struck me. I have read about death row and I do believe that sometimes, people have done the most horrific deeds. Is death penalty the solution? Will it bring the victims back? Will it teach other criminals a lesson? Will our own minds be soothed, knowing that the prisoner has suffered as well? It is controversial and I have my own opinion on it. In this case, it has been proven that justice made a huge mistake. So after all, there hasn't been any justice in this story...

Todd's parents reunited Todd with the children, spreading his ashes over the graves of the three little girls. May they rest in peace now..

One of us

You are one of us now. You got to know our whole family and you appear to be happy with us. The kids love you and so do we. You enjoy playing outside in the yard, love to go for a walk, you like to sit in the car. I just bought you a bench, so you can have your own private spot in the house. You have tried it out, with the door open, and it didn't scare you. I hope you will like it as much at night.. We'll see. We're happy and very lucky to have you Rebba!

Longing for big nuts

I believe I must have been 14 at the time. I took the train to go to school in Ieper, West Flanders. I couldn't wait for school to be over, to rush back to the train station. How I longed for big nuts! Hey! Behave, will you!!!! I'm talking about a delicious, fulfilling piece of chocolate bar, filled with crunchy, whole peanuts! I don't remember the exact brand, but the bar was called Big Nuts. I got it out of a vending machine and it was so satisfying to have one. I remember how much it was: 20 Belgian franks (half a euro). I would suck up the chocolate and leave the peanuts for dessert... hmhmhm... Do you think the chocolate bar still exists?

Do you love me for who I am?

There's a lot going on in my life right away. Things have been pretty hectic around here. I'm pretty sure things will go back to normal once the kids have been going back to school for some time. It's so hard to find some time for myself right now. I have the feeling I'm being pulled at and people blame me for not making time for them.. I hardly have time for myself and I do not want to be torn. I try to schedule my time the best I can. Having a family with children is a full time job. Having a wonderful social life is a full time job. Making time for yourself is luxury. I would really like to have that luxury once in a while. Maybe I should schedule a luxurious, selfish me-day in the near future. I know I cannot give my full attention to a person when my head is full of chores that need to be done or places I have to go to. Over the years, I have noticed that it's becoming harder for me to divide my attention amongst several things or people at the same time. Or maybe I take more value to quality time than quantity time? I feel obliged to give individual attention to people whenever I spend time with them. Meaning I do not pick up the phone when I'm with someone else or I take my time whenever I arrange a date with a friend. It's not very respectful towards the other if you continually pick up your phone to talk to someone else. I hate it when people do that to me. It's like you're not important enough to that person at the time. Do you ever talk to a friend or a relative on the phone, that constantly interrupts you by saying: hold on, someone else is trying to reach me, or I'll call you back, there's someone at the door, or just a minute, I need to do this or that. I have no time for phone calls of that manner. How do they call it? Time management? So much time is lost when you have phone conversations like that. That's why I call less and email more. Sending an email on your own time or receiving email whenever you have time to read it.. That's my cup of tea.

Do I have to give up on my principles in order to be loved by my friends? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. It's taken me a long run to find out for myself what is important to me and I'm not prepared to give that up again that easily. If one cannot accept that I cannot always be available and that sometimes I have no time for them or I can't see them for some time.. bad luck. I do the best I can. Don't expect any more.

Gone with the wind

Yesterday was a very windy day. We spent a day at the beach, with our friends, or at least, that was the plan... Our friends had an appointment downtown and they couldn't bring their dog. So they left her in the back yard of the cabin they had rented. They had left the dog there before and there had never been any incident. Until today.. The wind was so fierce, that Buck, the dog, was so terrified, that she climbed over the fence and fled.. When our friends came back to the cabin, they really panicked, because Buck is not used to this new environment and she had no leash or any ID on her. My friend contacted the police right away and warned the reception to look out for the dog. We went to look for her, but we couldn't find her.. It was so sad to see my friend in despair, because his dog is so precious to him. They are a pair and they get along so well. We dare not think of the possible scenarios that could have happened.

Buck was so lucky to have run into a very friendly lady. She thought it was not normal to see this frantic dog running around the main street. She was afraid the dog was going to be hit by a car, so she tried to catch her. And she managed. She called pet control and they picked the dog up. Within a couple of hours, Buck had fled, she had been captured and we could go and pick her up in a nearby town.

Buck was gone with the wind. She was so happy to see her "daddy". She went crazy when she saw him and she was so happy to go home again.. I'm so glad she was not hurt and she didn't cause any accident. Like the French would say: tout est bien qui finit bien.

Are you happy to be stuck with me?

My sweet little Rebba.. We have taken you away from your Dutch family and all your step-sisters and step-brothers. You have lived in Denmark for two years, before you came to Holland. And now you live in Flanders, Belgium. Your pedigree name is Frontrunner's Midsummer Love, but you listened to the name Martha. We call you Rebba. You are very good with languages, since you understand Danish, Dutch and Flemish. You are pretty smart you know!

We've fallen in love with you.. We got you on probation, to see if the match will work out. I instantly knew we were going to love you to pieces, but we had to wait and see whether you would accept us. I'm getting pretty confident that you will. You follow me around the house and you kiss and cuddle real easily. You come when I call you and you do not risk to get out of my sight. Whenever I whistle, you stand right by my side. You are a doll!

Your favorite spot is on the couch, right next to the family. You haven't seen Eva yet, because she's still in school until Friday. But I'm pretty sure you will embrace her too and she will cuddle you and stroke your back. We are very, very lucky to have you Rebba. You are really special and I know this chance is one of a life time.

Thank you Sandra, thank you Lucien, thank you Véronique, for trusting us with Martha - Rebba. We will take very good care of her and we will honor her breed and her personality. I hope we will have the chance to keep her as long as she may live..

Arthur Kittynapped

When my friend got divorced, she couldn't take her tomcat with her. So he came to live with us and we have loved and cherished him from day one. Arthur is such a great cat and so much fun to have around.

One summer, the girls were going to summer camp and hubby and I booked a holiday in Sharm-el-Sheikh, Egypt. Our neighbour suggested to take care of our little household and pets. They were used to doing so and this year wasn't any different.

But the odds must have been against us.. Arthur and Fidias, his friend, got kittynapped by a cat-hater in the neighbourhood. We thought he was dead. We couldn't find him when we ca

me back and it was absolutely heartbreaking. The girls were inconsolable. They burned candles, wrote love letters to Arthur and taped those to the front window. We made posters with his picture, but nobody knew where Arthur was. We feared the worst..poisoning, traffic accident, some other painful death..

On the Internet, there is a website for missing animals. So we posted an add for Arthur, in the hope somebody knew where he were. After 6 1/2 weeks, I decided to delete the add, because I was convinced he would never come back. But Lana begged me to leave the add on the Internet for another week. She must have known Arthur wasn't dead!

A family contacted me that they had seen Arthur's add on the site and that they thought they had found him (just a couple of days before). Yes, his tail is always up, yes, his ear is torn, yes, he's a very loving cat. We were so nervous and we had to wait two more hours to go get him. Because the lady that found him, wasn't home at the time.

Arthur didn't recognise us anymore. He was skinny and you could see h

e had suffered a serious ordeal. But we loved him and we wanted him back. The people that had found him were sad to see him go. But they knew our kids wanted their beloved kitty back.

One more week later, Fidias was also found, in that same area, a twenty minute drive. Those cats didn't walk that far. Somebody had taken them. He must have thrown them out along the road. Just because he keeps birds and he hates cats. It is sad.. He must have been gobsmacked to see those two tomcats alive and kicking! Let's hope Arthur and Fidias have 6 more lives to go.

Whenever we go away now, Arthur frequents a hotel and he is taken care off. We no longer have to fear the kittynapper!