It's been a productive day

Photo Cathy Van de Moortele

I hate to clean house, I really do. Don't get me wrong: I love clean houses, but I don't like to clean them. It makes my back ache and it's really fulfilling the moment you're done, but within the hour, the sparkle is gone. It seems so pointless although I see the point of living in a clean house. Are you still with me?

Anyway, today my schedule read: Hubby work - tennis tournament, Lana - studying in Bruges, Eva - babysitting in Ghent. Meaning: I'm home alone! Meaning: the ideal moment to clean house :( I got started early this morning and by the time I had got the hoover out of the cabinet, my urge to clean had already left my mind.. I wanted to cook and bake and stroll through recipes on the Internet. I wanted to go grocery shopping and I wanted to present some kind of fancy dessert in my new Jamie Oliver bowls. But sometimes things just need to be done and today seemed like a good moment to do so, since I was home alone, the sun was out so the dogs and cat could play outside all day. Not?

I cleaned. I really did. But I cooked and I baked more than I cleaned. It was so satisfying to have fun in the kitchen. So many recipes to try out, so many ingredients to be tasted. In between recipes, I would sweep the floors and move furniture around. I would dust window sills and vacuum all of that pet hair on the couch. I must admit, it kinda looked good to see those pillows neatly on a cleaned couch with freshly washed throw blankets. The windows were ajar to let

Photo Cathy Van de Moortele

some the breeze in and my bottle of Febreze cleaned the air of dust and kitchen smells. Nevertheless, the kitchen was calling me to make Oven puffed pancake topped with berries for lunch. I enjoyed every bite sitting on the deck and was already thinking of my next dish to cook: home made ricotta ravioli with a lima bean and pea side. How I love to make my own pasta dishes... it's so satisfying and pleasant and a wonderful way to have some Me Time. No other hobby can give me this amount of pleasure as cooking and baking does. It's addictive to come up with new recipes, try them out, improve them and share them with the world. So many people who want to try out my food. I'm convinced they would like a BUY NOW button on the Internet when they see the food pics pass by.

Just the other week, an acquaintance asked me if I could make dessert for 50 guests next weekend. Of course I can! I have given it a thought and I came up with 5 wonderful desserts her guests will endeavor. So looking forward to that!

Photo Cathy Van de Moortele

Should I go back to school and get a professional training in cooking and baking? I would love to... but I don't know if it's possible. Things are already quite hectic around here. Those classes are time absorbing but my fingers are itching and my heart is longing for more knowledge and improvement. Thinking of it, I'm ready to indulge my grilled peach dessert... wanna have a bowl?

Cooking and baking is not the best hobby if you have diabetes. I decided not to use substitutes in my recipes. I want the real thing so my recipes are nowhere near low carb. So be it. I put enough effort in taking care of myself and I try to keep my A1c as low as possible, but I'm not willing to give up on good food. It's too important for me to keep doing what I love to do. Too bad cleaning is not my hobby.. It would make life a whole lot easier.. and boring.

Looking good there!

It had been a while - you said 2 months at the least - since we last got together. Things have been quite hectic around here. I can see you during the day and you prefer evening get aways. So it's not always easy to schedule a date, but today we finally met up again.

Foto Cathy Van de Moortele

You looked fab! You dyed your hair and it was a bit shorter than last time I saw you. I felt like caressing your growing belly, but I wasn't too sure you would appreciate that. It was almost emotional to see you pregnant, since I missed your previous pregnancy. I was so anxious to hear the sex of your baby. You didn't want to tell me over the phone, so I had to be patient, but it was worth the wait. I'm so happy for you. That baby will be loved and cuddled and spoiled rotten. Not only by you and your family, but by your beautiful and intelligent son as well.

We sat down for a picnic that I had made for us. We babbled and laughed and ate in between the story telling. It was nice to sit out there, just the two of us - and that little cutie in your belly of course - discussing life and motherhood. You're a great mom. I hear your insecurity and your worries, but there's no need to. Children do real well if loved and you have plenty of love to give.

So looking forward to the end of August. This time, I'll be there to support you and stand by your side xx

I can fight my own fight

We have lunches together. We like to hang out and chitchat. Most meetings are diabetes related. That's what happens when you have lunch with peers. Probably very boring if you're not interested in diabetes, but hey: we can all relate! It's not that we have nothing else to talk about, but diabetes is always one of the subjects. Not one person with diabetes has the exact same treatment as yours so it's always interesting to hear other people about their experiences. Although we always make fun of our friend Jan - we keep saying he doesn't really have T1 diabetes, since his numbers are just so steady - we wouldn't want to skip a meeting with him. He's witty and smart and he's so good at keeping his blood glucose steady, that he numbs us with the result. There's no way we will ever get where he has always been, but that's okay. We all do the best we can with the tools we have access to.

Same for our friend Katrien. She has had diabetes for a much longer time. She was just a teen when she got diagnosed. Back in those days, treating T1 diabetes was really hard. The tools were different and so was the approach. Things have evolved since. Katrien said goodbye to her insulin pens and instead, she starting using an insulin pump. Just before that switch, she got herself the best device possible to treat her condition. She and her loving husband got hold of the Dexcom G4, the Continuous Glucose Monitoring system, that tells us our BG at all times, day and night, day in day out. It warns us for upcoming highs and lows. I met Katrien before she got the Dexcom. Her life and that of her husband, was completely different. She would suffer from severe diabetic comas and epileptic seizures. At least once a month, she would loose consciousness due to a severe low. None of that has happened since she started using CGM. What a relief, what a difference. Her life has changed for the better. She has finally got the chance to alter her treatment and it feels good to see her get better.

We can fight our own fight, no doubt about that. After all, we have to fight our fight every day of the
year, year after year. It is a chronic disease, remember? We know what our body can handle and most of the time, we know why we went out of line. But still, it is good to sit down with peers every now and then, to tell our story and hear the other. I'm grateful for these meetings. Love you guys...

No small talk

Seeing your child suffer, is one of the hardest things moms have to face. You only want the best for your children and you want to see them happy. Teary faces and broken hearts are part of life. You want to protect them from getting hurt, but you can't. Life isn't always one happy story. There are ups and downs and some days are better than others. Relationships can make you grow in life and we need them to learn about ourselves. It is good to love and be loved. Love is wonderful and it is painful at the same time. Knowing the other is always within reach, can be very comforting but frightening as well. Getting too involved can make you feel desperate once the other party is no longer there. It is hard to stay positive and strong when there's so much sadness and grief. I can tell you about my experience as a teenager in love. I'm sure most people can tell you similar stories. But it's not your story, it's not your grief, it's not your loss. Please talk to me. Open your heart and let those tears roll down your cheeks. You didn't give up - you are strong enough to let go. You had this idea of growing old with this love of yours. You can't call it failure. You have loved and you have been loved back in return. It was beautiful and you learned so much. Let your heart heal and try to remember the good times with a smile on your face. He'll be fine. You'll be fine. He will move on and so will you. I'm proud of your mature way of dealing with difficult situations nowadays. I'm proud to be your mom. I love you. 

Bonding

The Student Exchange Program is an excellent tool for students to see the world. Having a host family abroad, is a fine way to experience other cultures and family life in a country different from yours. Last year, we had been given the opportunity to welcome the Italian Ilaria Landriscina into our home. She was not only our guest for 3 months, she became a family member. We are still in touch, just the way I still contact my American host family every now and then. Those are everlasting memories.

Last week, two German students came to stay with us. We were thrilled to have them over and make them feel at home. Mirjam Gröger and Hien Nguyen Totla were a pleasure to have around. They were like a sister to Eva and our dogs were more than happy with the extra cuddles. We didn't get to speak much German and there was no time to teach our guests some Dutch words. Communication went well though and we had a good time together, filled with joy and warm friendship. These two girls had never met before, but seeing how fast they got along, was moving.
Too bad their stay was so short. We should've had more time to get to know each other. I wanted to hear more about their lives in Germany, their family, their interests and activities. Lana offered them their room, while she was in Bruges. We were glad they got to meet each other right before they had to return to Germany.

It was nice having you over girls. Maybe we'll meet again, one day.

Unconditional love

At the age of 21, my friends were discussing their wish to get married and their hunger for children. I could not relate to their dreams, since they were so different from mine. I wanted to find a place to live on my own. I wanted to travel and see the world. The desire to be independent and free, was greater than the search to settle with someone else. I had had my number of relationships and there were plenty of families with children that asked me to babysit. But under no circumstances had I foreseen a family of my own.. 

Not planned at all and as a total surprise, I gave birth to two beautiful baby girls. Just two years apart but so different, they are the best thing that ever happened to me. Being given the chance to mother these two girls, has made me a better person. They make me look at myself and question my life, so I can give them the education and love they deserve. It brings me so much joy to hear their stories and witness their growth in life.  It takes effort and tears, laughter and happiness and it's a hard job. But being a mom is the only job worth doing for the rest of your life. You can never quit being a mom. These beautiful daughters are my life, my future, my hope and my comfort. They make me breathe and laugh. A film of their progress in life is running through my mind today. I can see them as babies, toddlers, preschoolers and I see their life change going to high school and turning into young teens. They are almost the same age I once was and I wonder if they will ever have a family of their own. 

Thank you for giving me the chance to be your mommy. It's the best gift I could've wished for.. 

I hate it when you do that

It's been quite a while since my diabetes was so out of control. I must admit, I had not changed my site in time (okay, I was way overdue), so by the time I got the site out this morning, my skin was red and swollen and icky. I cleaned and disinfected the site and inserted a new one, far from the previous one (there is enough skin to find on my body, that holds enough fat to stand a site insertion). Grabbing my coat, I left the house to rush to work.

Driving the car, I felt this terrible thirst coming up. There's always a diet soda and a regular soda in the car, for emergencies. Instantly, I felt this was going to be one of those days... I emptied a 500 ml bottle of diet coke, but it didn't quench my thirst. My Dexcom told me my numbers were skyrocketing. Great... just what I needed. I'm tired already and a workday ahead of me wasn't going to solve the problem. I needed to focus on getting those numbers down. I got out of the car - it's only a 10 min drive to work - and tested my BG. My meter said 504... My Dexcom couldn't give any more details, since it stops counting at 400. It sure felt like 504. It was like someone made me eat a bowl full of oatmeal and forgot to pour the milk over it. Grumble... this was not going to be a great day...

The little girl I take care of, was ready for her nap and all I could think of, was having a nap myself. But it's work, remember? No time to nap.. She fell asleep in my lap and of course, I had to go pee.. again.. ggrrrrr... that's what high numbers do to your bladder. They make you run to the loo way too often to get rid of that excess sugar in your kidneys. Princess wasn't sleeping anyway, so I didn't feel guilty about getting up. I stumbled down the stairs, holding on to the banisters and making sure little Princess was held tight to my body. I put her down in her chair, went to the toilet, had 500 ml water to drink and went back to the toilet. I corrected multiple times this afternoon, to get those bloody highs out of my system, but it was like my body was resistant to insulin. It just didn't do anything at all. I knew it was gonna hit me in the face at a certain point, so I didn't want to overdo on the correcting part. I was so thankful for my Dexcom, so at least, I could see where I was headed towards without poking my fingers 12 times in a row. My numbers had stabilized around HIGH so I decided to give another correction bolus. I felt sick to my stomach by now and I had run out of diet soda and water. My mouth was dry and my body dehydrated. I was hungry as well but didn't dare to eat anything for I didn't want to go any higher. I was so happy little Princess decided to take another nap. We cuddled and dove into that comfortable couch together, turned on the TV and chilled out. I truly hate it when this happens...


Around 5 PM, my numbers started to crawl down, slowly but at least they were coming down. Right before I went home, I saw a straight arrow pointing downwards. Great... had another bottle of regular coke in the car - it was hot from sitting in the sun all day, but hey, who minds warm coke when you're about to faint? I drove home and decided to skip the carbs for the rest of the day. We had grilled prawns, tuna and salmon sashimi and some wakame salad.
I so enjoyed my dinner and was really full. I can't believe my Dexcom was buzzing again!!! This time to prevent me from going low. Cheese and rice! Come on! Can't you have just a little bit of sympathy here? Hello??? I'm full! Can't have any more food or drinks. I hate you Diabetes, at times I really hate you...

I stuffed down a small piece of toast, spread with Nutella, to get rid of that 78 pointing downwards. Did I get rid of it all right... In just an hour time, my BG read 238 again... WTF!  I want someone to take over. I want to sleep and forget about D, just for a couple of hours. I need that cure NOW!

What if happiness is not that obvious?

We all know the world is full of bellies carrying little babies. Once you're pregnant yourself or looking forward to having a baby, you see even more moms to be. One of my friends has had a baby just recently (and yes, I miss her and our chats, but don't we all know how busy our lives become once those little ones enter our homes), another one has a belly that is full of life and growing way too fast (I want to enjoy that wonderful sight of her pregnancy - I missed her previous one) and a third friend is in the early stage of expecting new life, while a fourth is about to deliver any time now.

Having two wonderful daughters of my own, I know what it's like to expect a child and give birth. I know the feeling of bringing new life into this world, the pain of being in labor and the happiness once that little creature uses its voice for the very first time. It's a feeling only moms can experience. Your life will never be the same, once you can call yourself a mom.

What if you have this dream, this one and only dream that would fill your life with so much joy and happiness that you would do anything to achieve your goal? What if things don't work out the way you want them to? Do people ever realize how hard it must be, when people ask you how come you haven't got children of your own? I can tell you: it hurts like hell. It sucks! It's not a good feeling at all... it can be very damaging indeed. Most of the time, the people asking, don't mean any harm. They are just trying to have a conversation and ask for the "obvious". But apparently it's not that obvious. Having children may not be that obvious at all. Sometimes the process can be really hard and the road to travel very long.  If only we could keep that in mind and support our friends and family that are so looking forward to having a little Prince or Princess of their own. An extra cuddle, some kind words and sympathy or small talk over a big mug of coffee. It's not that much to ask for. It's a delicate subject and there's not much you can do to help the other, but listen and understand. I care for you, my beautiful friend. I wish you all the best and all the luck in the world. My thumbs are still facing the stars. 

I have something up my sleeve

Having the Pisces sign, we knew you were going to be a creative mind. You have a good eye for art, music, fashion, photography, design. Sometimes you come up with real clever ideas. Things we would not have thought of. It is fun to watch your creativity grow and see you explore new dimensions. It's been some time now, since you started using those special markers. I had never even heard of them, but you know your ways around on the Net. I'm still astound by the wonderful drawings you make. The talent I lack in life, is patience. I can tell you: you have patience. I observe you making a piece of art in your sketch book, drawing fine lines and little patterns in a flowing way. You are gifted sweetheart. I am so proud of your latest project, you made for school. The school made it into a poster, to be hung all over school, so people would know about the project your class is involved in. You did real well. The fonts you chose, the colors you picked. Your artwork is neat and clean and unique. I like your style. No computer program involved, just your own creative ways..
Looking forward to seeing more of your talent. 

Hello World

Your first birthday away from home.. You are not even that far away, but you are not home today to celebrate. I wanted to cuddle and kiss you and wish you all the best. I am sure you will have friends around to party and have a good time. I took the time this morning to go down Memory Lane. You were so tiny and small. We never planned on getting pregnant, but we were so happy with the new life in my belly. I can hardly believe you turned 19 today. Look what a beauty you have become... We are proud of you sweetheart <3  

Things I enjoy always

• Pampering my family
• Cooking, not matter what time a day (or night)
• Baking, the process and the result, not necessarily eating it (I'm not that much of a sweet tooth)
• Meeting up with friends over lunch or/and dinner
• Talk about diabetes
• Surfing the Internet 
• Good readings on my Dexcom
• Hazelnut Creamer
• High heels (I don't mind the sore feet afterwards)
• Hugging our whippets
• A new haircut or a good manicure
• Traveling
• A nice bouquet of flowers, for no particular reason
• Family get togethers
• The US
• Movies based on true stories
• Buying cookbooks and reading them like novels
• Turn up the music in the car and sing along
• A clean house (but I hate cleaning house)
• Home made ravioli
• Diet coke
• Fine dining
• New outfits from my favorite store
• A perfect Latte Macchiato
• Sheep skin slippers
• Happy faces
• The sun

While that's all fine and dandy..

It's been a year now, since this very nice man asked me to pull up my shirt, so he could insert this thingamajig into my tummy. I had no idea what to expect or if this device would be meaningful enough to me to have it glued to my body 24/7. I never asked to get diabetes, I never asked to be given this stupid chronic disease. But it's there, it ain't going nowhere and I have to own it to make a difference. I have accepted my condition a long time ago. Although a cure is not yet found, we have access to great technology nowadays. I wish all of my peers could have this same availability to whatever they need to keep their diabetes in control. Life is hard enough as it is.. We can use all the support out there. You may not really know what it's like to have diabetes, but a little bit of compassion and sympathy goes a long way.

Last night, I got a phone call from a very nice lady. She's Dutch and very smart, witty and enthusiastic. I told her it was too bad she didn't have diabetes, because now she couldn't join our club... Of course I didn't mean that (I would not want to nominate anyone for this bloody disease), but that's the kind of conversation we had: very open, spontaneous and honest. Although this lady is not a diabetic herself, she sure knows what she's talking about. It always startles me that non-diabetics make it their goal in life to help diabetics in whatever they find worthwhile.

So this lady and I talked for a while (...) and the conversation felt like I had known her for a long time. Her enthusiasm struck me. I was startled to hear about her determination in finding a cure for T1 diabetes. She knows people. She knows more than a handful of people - people that matter when it comes to finding a cure. She's a manager working for JDRF Holland and she's the one when it comes to fundraising, getting in touch with people who want to make the difference. I was happy she called me and I would be very honored if I could mean something to JDRF and all of us diabetics out there.

Insulin pumps are wonderful and Dexcom is the invention of the century for people with diabetes. While that's all fine and dandy: it's not a cure. We may seem very relaxed and coping, we all still have diabetes. Technology has improved massively and researchers all over the world are doing the best they can to come up with that cure that will kick diabetes in the butt. We need money though... a whole lot of money. Researchers are so close, but they need extra funding to finish what they have started.

That same night, I got another call from Holland. I met this lady a couple of years ago, on a diabetes congress in Brussels. I remembered her as a lady with pezaz, a driving force and most of all: a mom of a sweet little girl with diabetes. That girl is 9 years old now and a cure has not been found yet. It is time to spread the word again and sit around the table for a serious session of brainstorming. Are you with me?

What makes you beautiful

Being a teenager can be challenging. Things are being expected. There's school, friends, home, maybe a job on the weekend, a boyfriend, chores, sports, .. sometimes there's so much going on, there's hardly any time for you. Time to relax, enjoy life, hang out on the couch and just be. Finding the right balance is a hard job.

I'm proud of you. You are very conscious of what's going on around you. Your antlers are always buzzing, picking up emotions and situations. You have a heart for others and you are sensitive for the people you love.
You lack energy and you need a lot of sleep. After all, being a teen asks a lot from you. I'm so happy to see you have a nutritious breakfast before you go to school: oatmeal, fruit, green tea. It is a good way to regain your energy. You take good care of yourself.

Today, your sister decided to make breakfast for you. It is your birthday! We dressed the table and lit some candles, to welcome you downstairs. You were surprised and excited about the gifts. It's good to see you smile. You have a wonderful night planned with your boyfriend. He will spend the night with us and we'll have tapas together. Maybe a movie later on that night.

A bright future is awaiting you. Maybe this Spring, you will pick up running again. Or maybe swimming? It would do you good. It would provide your body with oxygen and energy. You're growing, kiddo. You're no longer that cute little baby you once were. Just look at you... need I say more?

Love,

your mommy xx <3

On solid ground

Being in love for the very first time, is just the best feeling ever. You can feel your cheeks blush every time you think about him. You can't focus in school and it's like you are walking on roses. Your arms are too long and you're striding and skipping with a broad smile on your pretty face. People say you gloom and they see lights twinkling in your eyes. That's what love does to one.. It's a feeling you want to hold on to forever and "forever" is a word you use in most of your sentences now.

You get older. You have met different people and you start dreaming about a future. Maybe you want to meet more people and discover the world and enjoy your youth, before you commit to someone. You fall in and out of love and you just like to hang out with friends and have a date every night and then. Cuddles are welcome and you like the feeling of being loved. It's been a while since you've been truly in love.

You meet this one guy and you know this is the person you want to grow old with. It may sound boring and very predictable, but it feels right to you. You no longer doubt if the love is mutual, because you can tell this guy is not only madly in love with you, you feel the same about him. He supports you in whatever you do and you are interested in his dreams. Both of you look forward to the other half to come home from work. There is candle light and romance, there are serious conversations and no harsh words during discussions. There are comforting arms to hold you whenever you feel sad and there's a thumb pointing upwards to cheer the victories in life. He brings you flowers when you least expect it and he opens the door to the restaurant for you. You bring him goodies while he watches the sports channel on TV and you enjoy his enthusiasm even though soccer doesn't interest you at all. There's so much looking forward to going abroad on a vacation and you do nothing but relax and enjoy each other..

It's been some time since you first met. You think about the past and those first years together. Memorable moments cross your mind, some with tears, some with a smile and a wink. The butterflies are no longer present all the time. Things have changed. Love has presented itself in a different way. You understand each other better as time goes by. You share a past together and you're looking forward to a future. The children start living their own life and there are more moments to spend as a couple. It's like starting all over again. At times, you feel the butterflies have come back. It's a special feeling. It's a blessing.

Then there was nothing but silence..

They were sitting at the table, facing each other. The television was playing loud, showing a cycling event, and I could hear the comments of the reporters, making jokes and keeping a good eye on the cyclists at the same time.

They were quiet, having their prespread sandwiches. She got up from the table, shambled towards the bathroom, her bowl of soup in her hands. I sat on the bed and watched her manners. She would empty the bowl in the toilet, flush and come back to the table, to finish her early dinner. They sat there, in complete silence. He was looking at me, winking and I could see the corner of his mouth curl up. He continued to take little bites from his sandwich. I asked them what cold cuts they had been given. They had no idea. They forgot, I guess. They were not interested either. He said he preferred making his own sandwiches at a time that was more appropriate to be called dinner time.

A friendly lady walked into the room. She was in a hurry, I could tell. "Are you finished," she asked, while she was clearing the table. Maybe the answer was not important to her, since she didn't await the answer. Dinner was over. Time to take that handkerchief and wipe their mouths. She shuffled back to the bathroom to flush the toilet again. I asked why she got rid of the soup. She said she hated soup. She did like buttermilk porridge though.. I urged her to talk to the head nurse, to see if she could have porridge instead of soup. She gave me that special look, that needed no further explanation. I dropped the subject..

He was still sitting at the table, picking up little crumbs that were left on his placemat. He gathered as many as he could, to pile them up in one corner. She sat down again, waiting for the evening to come. Pretty soon, one of the nurses would come in to help them get into their jammies. It was only 5:00 PM. There wasn't much to say. It was not an unpleasant silence though. They didn't need words to understand one another. They had been together for so many years, they knew what the other was thinking. They looked outside the window, to see nothing but a dull wall and a garbage bin. I kissed them on the cheeks. I rubbed their back and wiped away a tear that had been stinging in the corner of my eye. I left their room, thankful for the love they felt for each other. Thankful, that at least they were together. Things could've been worse. They could have spent their days in a room with a total stranger, in a totally different kind of silence. Their silence was comforting. It was not to be dreaded..

I still miss you.. I miss your wisdom, your strength, your ability to be without speech.

Trying to read between the lines

He told me it was golden and its condition was immaculate. It was "only" 75.000 Belgian francs (we didn't have Euros back then). I thought that was a very reasonable price for a Triumph! After all, my former boyfriend drove a similar car, a Triumph Spitfire to be accurate. That car in mind, I agreed to buying my first second hand car.. It took many hours of labor in restaurants to purchase that car, but it was mine and I loved the freedom it gave me.

I'm peeking through the window. The black monster just turned around the corner. I can see its headlights glow in the early morning hours. You're holding the steering wheel with both hands, waiting for the bus to move on. I feel confident and proud. For the very first time, you're driving to school all by yourself. Not without a reason: last night, around 5:00 PM, you were staring at your computer screen, waiting for your school results to appear. And YES!! you did it! You succeeded for all classes. Your hard work paid off. So happy to hear that and what a relief.. There was no reason to go to school to discuss your grades, but you planned on going with your friends so you asked for the car.

A little bird has told me it won't be too long before you will buy your first second hand car. You're ready. You have some money in your bank account and your driver's licence in your pocket. We'll have to think about this and discuss the conditions, before we come to some agreement. I can relate to your desire to have a car of your own. It means freedom and independence and another step towards adulthood. After all, you're almost 19..

Off to work

I was sitting in the car in the parking lot, while you were inside for your job interview. No nail biting from my side, since I was pretty convinced you were going to be hired. It was only last week, you told us about this job opportunity. Not too far from home, weekend work, decent salary. Previously you had opted McDonald's, but we could tell you were not convinced yourself (and neither were we).

You pulled open the door of the car and your bright smile and the blemish on your cheeks, said it all: hired! The owner of the restaurant was very friendly and polite. You could start as soon as this Sunday. We needed to get you a black uniform, so you could wait the tables in style. You were happy your friend introduced you and you won't let her or your new employer down. They expect you this Sunday at 10:00 AM to inform you about their way of working. I told you about my very own experiences with waiting tables in a restaurant (I have done my share - 5 years of waiting tables damaged by back). It is hard work. It means no going out on weekends, it means sore feet and long working hours. It also means independence, extra money to spend, building confidence and a longer resume for future job interviews. It'll do you good. Last year, you worked in the kitchen of a retirement home and that was hard labor as well. Your employer was happy with your diligence and he asked you to come back next summer. You're not too sure.. you had room and boarding last summer, but you missed the Internet and your boyfriend. You'd rather work weekends than a month in summer. We'll see how you do. I'm sure you'll be polite and willing to do whatever they ask you to. You'll be exhausted when you get home, so it will require very good planning to get your schoolwork done before you go to work. Good luck kiddo!

Hands, touching hands

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you..

Humans are not made to live all by themselves. We need company to stay focused and nourish our inner selves. Being by yourself for too long, can make you sad and moody. You probably feel empty and blue and you long for someone to talk to. Someone to tell your stories to, to watch a movie with, to share a meal or to take for a walk.

This little girl is never alone. She has so many loving people surrounding her. She can't tell what she thinks or how she feels, but her wonderful smile when she hears your voice as soon as you open the door, is so comforting. She knows you're there. She knows she's not alone. It is reassuring that we know she always has someone around her. As soon as the garage door opens to let daddy's car in, I can see that little face light up! She just knows her daddy will come and hug her and tell her about his day at work. Mommy cannot leave the house without kissing her on the cheeks. She protests if the kiss is being forgotten. It is heartwarming to see little man hug and kiss his big sister whenever he comes home. He loves her so much and she loves him back, in her very own way.

I feel so honored to be part of this little girl's life. It is peaceful to have her in my lap and have her grab my finger before she closes her eyes for her afternoon nap. She's special. I can feel her love. Her heart is so big and she moves so many others. She's a true blessing..

Easy breezy

No one ever said it was going to be easy breezy. College is not a joke, it is hard work. You have never been used to studying really hard to get good grades.
Your brain is pretty good at soaking up

information like a sponge would do. It is a good thing that you are always in to learning new things. You dare to challenge yourself and your teachers, to go all the way to the bottom of the course. Your motto is: you can't learn what you don't understand. I envy you for thinking that way. Understanding what you learn, makes you think in a better way and helps you remember the contents of your classes. Nevertheless, going to College is still hard work. We haven't seen much of you lately. Studying for the upcoming exams is priority number one now. I try to pamper you with home cooked meals and treats and every now and then I take you out for lunch. Not too much distraction, because you don't want any of us keeping you from going through your books. I must say: I'm impressed. I know you want to be the best in what you do. So you go for it and you keep your nose in your books. Three exams have been completed so far. Six more to go. It will be tough but I'm sure you'll do well. You must be looking forward to those two weeks off by the end of January. Keep up the spirit girl! 

Just pull the plug

I'm not the right person if you are looking for New Year's Resolutions. I have been looking forward to reorganizing my kitchen though. Since I started working as a Tupperware consultant, my cabinets have been pampered with new Tupperware containers and tools. I love my Tupperware. I have come to a point that I want nothing but Tupperware in my cabinets. I'm thinking about clearing out cupboard by cupboard and making the right decision in keeping or getting rid off. So if you're interested in getting some second hand kitchen goodies, just yell. Any leftovers will go to the Thriftstore without hesitation. I'm so looking forward to having de-cluttered cabinets.

I would like to reorganize my cabinets and keep all of my different size mixing bowls in one place, together with my measuring cups and spoons, shaker, baking mats, baking tins and MultiFlex silicone pans. There has to be a better way than what I'm used to. There should be a cabinet for (non)electrical devices, that includes my mixer, blender and Tupperware devices: TurboMax, QuickChef, ExtraChef, SpeedyChef, MandoChef. Can't believe I haven't bought the TurboChef yet. Have to write that down on my Tupperware wishlist. They all come in handy. I couldn't choose between any of them and no: I will not give up my Tupperware devices.

I would like to get rid of my deepfryer. It would be healthier not having one around. But I think my Hubby will not agree on this one. Maybe I should put it deeper down the cabinet, out of sight and empty?
I have plenty of microwave containers. They have been designed for reheating and cooking in the microwave. My MicroGourmet is just wonderful. Love to steam my potatoes and veggies all in one. It's a good way to cook healthy food.

Counting my wooden spoons, I realize they are no longer worth keeping. I'm throwing them out. They don't look good anymore and I can replace them by Tupperware spoons, that are much easier to clean and prettier to look at. I assume that rule will work for the knives on my countertop as well. Since I've been using the Tupperware knives, I no longer use my old knives so why bother hanging on to them and have the overloaded tools canister tip over every so often? There's one knife I will keep, despite its grungy look and blunt blade. It's the knife I inherited when I left my student's room. I'm gonna hold on to that one just one more year (or so).

I know some of the tools I use, would probably never be bought by you. I'm thinking of my garlic press or my ginger grater, the cheese mill, pasta maker and my Kenwood standmixer. They are essential to me though. I use them so often that I don't know how I would do without.

I'm getting a little depressed here. Am I sure I'm willing to let go of things? Or am I just making excuses why most of it should stay? I could use a hand in deciding what I use on a regular basis and what is just a gimmick. I want those cabinets organised and less full and cluttered. I'll get there. Trust me, it won't be done in one day, but I'll get there.. While reorganizing, I might as well soap down all of the cabinet interiors and ... AARRGGGHHH.